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Moni Duettmann

What's wrong with men?

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men are direct.

when they go to a store they go for what they need, they say what they mean directly, when they see a sexy girl they like they think of the objective, sex, and they want to go to the objective directly.

if the objective is sex, they dont need to go thru the hassle of seducing a girl, there are plenty of girls out there that dont need seduction, and they prefer to have it as soon as possible. unless you will be a very excepcional prize, and the only way to get you is by seduction, then they will do the effort to try their romantic seduction skills.

the problem with seduction is that it requires to invest a long time and the results are not guaranteed, is better to ask, "want to have sex?" if she answers "no", you go to the next one. if you romantically seduce a girl for a week, and she says "i'm not ready, we shouldn't rush this, maybe some day it will happen", you lose a lot of time that you could be using having a lot of sex with easy girls.

why do a lot of process to get the job done when it can be done right away?

you need to speak directly to them, say "let's have sex" and its going to work.

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Uh, I am not sure what this post is about (I admit I don't wish to read it either lol) BUT...I know male mesh in SL is supposed to be worse for clothes makers than mens. I always figured the chest of the womens would distort lines and thus be harder as you have to guess what size the average female would have and then get it all distorted right to make it look sort of normal instead of sagging down. But, I heard the male mesh has some serious issues with the torso! I will be encountering that soon....logos, lines and stitching lines are what make the peice I am making look more than just pajamas. I hope projection painting will pull me through, it is amazing stuff! wonderfully nifty math behind it I bet....sad I can't get some of that and quickly move on. But yeah, matching stuff BUT from the 2D canvas of one thing to matching the next...makes me wonder how it all works. Either way, horray for projection painting!

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Poenald Palen wrote:

Uh, I am not sure what this post is about (I admit I don't wish to read it either lol) BUT...I know male mesh in SL is supposed to be worse for clothes makers than mens. I always figured the chest of the womens would distort lines and thus be harder as you have to guess what size the average female would have and then get it all distorted right to make it look sort of normal instead of sagging down. But, I heard the male mesh has some serious issues with the torso! I will be encountering that soon....logos, lines and stitching lines are what make the peice I am making look more than just pajamas. I hope projection painting will pull me through, it is amazing stuff! wonderfully nifty math behind it I bet....sad I can't get some of that and quickly move on. But yeah, matching stuff BUT from the 2D canvas of one thing to matching the next...makes me wonder how it all works. Either way, horray for projection painting!

This is the right answer.  Poenald, I did not have your sensitivity and patience with my posts.

 

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"...We don't want our performance to be evaluated against previous guys and we don't want our mistakes and excuses to be tooobvious, which isn't a problem because she hasn't heard them all before.  Yet.

You can't fool a cougar as easily."

 

Ah, now I want a courgar avatar. :matte-motes-bashful-cute-2:

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Moni Duettmann wrote:

When interested I always try to steer the conversation into the desired sweet sexy romantic direction,  but the men don't seem to "get it". Are they too shy? Are they not interested? Am I not explicit enough (but where is romanticism)? I have been approached by women several times and out of curiosity and lack of men even started a few relationships. But still... I don't get it... Isn't SL the Eldorado for virtual sex? But where is it? Where are the lady killers?

Remove your clothes, TP to a club in Zindra, get on the poseball that straps you to some weird device letting them "approach" from multiple "angles" - and you can meet at least... lets just say several... men at once.

That or walk around with a tag that says "lesbian sex goddess" - but don't even go to lesbian hangouts. Men will approach you, on male AVs.

Or go to Gorean slave sim and offer to be June Cleaver for some fool. Though I have also had one male approach me trying to become my sub - so I guess the power trip angle can be used in either direction.

 

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StevesG wrote:

Hi Moni!

Please IM me. I am the man you have been looking for!!

 

Only if she is tall, is looking for a Gorean Master and she knows how to shoot a gun.

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Make-Friends/Looking-for-a-tall-girlfriend/m-p/963153

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Role-Play/Looking-for-a-master/m-p/988849#M1591

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Inventory/How-to-shoot-a-gun/qaq-p/987177

 

 

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"What's wrong with men?"

Nothing that an eraser to remove the letter "n" can't answer.

Believe me - and I don't have to put to much work into this on the forum to convice anyone that  I am not a paragon of charm  (although I've been blessed with the good sense to recognize and go along with a good bit of humor when I see it and I can talk at length about at least 3 subjects that don't contain the theme "me" as the central subject).   I have not, however,  had any problems finding decent men in SL.  Usually they appear when I'm not in the mood..this is my own personal virtual tragedy..but I digress.

Seriously,  I think you HAVE met decent guys and either haven't given them a chance or possibly overwhelm them.  The decent ones need encouragement.  Drop a few sincere compliments and suggestions where a guy can get dressed decently, or suggest a great place to check out.  I've done this and dashed away so as not to seem pushy (or I was actually leaving to do something else).  On more then one occasion the guy IM'd back and we were off to a really nice friendship. And few men dress themselves properly here, so if you see one that is well dressed ask him if it was his girlfriend or his mom who put him together so nicely.  You'll get alot of amazed laughs with that one.  (Like everyone doesn't know a women is behind the magic of creating most of the good looking straight male avatars in SL.)

Men are people, no mysteries there. What's wrong with people?

 

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Moni Duettmann wrote:

in all those 5 years I have never met a man who seriously had tried to seduce me. I'm not talking about weirdos jumping into the scene and offering instant f.... I mean decent, romantic, witty, nice, but determined approaches with a goal - to get me laid, or perhaps to start a relationship.

Huh?   Are we even in the *same* SL?!   

I've been approached by men the entire time (3.5+ yrs) that I've been in SL...and I go out of my way to discourage them!   Yes, it's the *men* who are trying to seduce, and get all romantic...and want to pursue a relationship...not me. 

 


Moni Duettmann wrote:

 When interested I always try to steer the conversation into the desired sweet sexy romantic direction,  but the men don't seem to "get it".

Cannot relate...as I'm experiencing the direct opposite of this.  I *never* try to steer men into a "sexy romantic" direction.  I try to steer them away from that!  Yet, I encounter men who make the effort to pursue that agenda with me. 

You want to know the places and situations where I get wooed the most?  When in an education sim, or science sim or in a building/scripting competition, etc.  Or working diligently on a build, or exploring, etc.  I'm approached by men when I'm doing something that interests me, and I'm actively involved in that interest.  Just like RL...men are drawn to women that seem interesting to them, it's not about looks.  There must be an allure, a challenge, a stimulating of the mind for a man to make an effort beyond a quickie.  

I advise to become actively involved with your own interests and pursuits in SL...and hone your wit...do not appear too easy. 

After 3.5+ yrs in SL...I finally met a man who had what it takes to successfully woo me and I'm currently in a SL relationship. 

(Now, mind you...I'm not the norm...and it takes a sizzlingly brilliant mind to get me...ahem...interested.  But, the cosmos smiled on me...and I encountered a man with the most brilliant of minds...here in SL... : )

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

"What's wrong with men?"

Nothing that an eraser to remove the letter "n" can't answer.

Believe me - and I don't have to put to much work into this on the forum to convice anyone that  I am not a paragon of charm  (although I've been blessed with the good sense to recognize and go along with a good bit of humor when I see it and I can talk at length about at least 3 subjects that don't contain the theme "me" as the central subject).   I have not, however,  had any problems finding decent men in SL.  Usually they appear when I'm not in the mood..this is my own personal virtual tragedy..but I digress.

Well, there you have it. 

It's Clan Nightfire...we are hot!  ; )

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Quote by Celestial:  " (Now, mind you...I'm not the norm...and it takes a sizzlingly brilliant mind to get me...ahem...interested.  But, the cosmos smiled on me...and I encountered a man with the most brilliant of minds...here in SL... : ) "

Mayalily responds:  Your SL love has minds as in plural?  An avatar with two brains, that's kind of creepy as Mayalily turns her head funny to try to picture it, but possible nonetheless. 

((rofl))

To the OP:  I let men know in IM I have a rl bf right away.  Mayalily is not available except for friendship so I have no input to offer.  However, if I find a male heir to the DeBeer's mines... well... never say never. 

 

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I think what's wrong with men as in male avatars is that they need **bleep** avatar physics.  Some male avatars look like females from the waist down, and it's not very sexy.  I danced next to a female avatar today who had breast physics on and huge breasts and they were bouncing all over the place like giant rubber balls.  Well, I kept looking behind me tho to watch this cute Dude but kept getting turned off because he had no avatar physics for his **bleep** area.  I would have loved to have watched that!   I felt deprived.  If male avatars had **bleep** avatar physics, that would be great!  I think the male avatars should look like Mick Jaggar when they sing and dance, like they have figs rolling around in their pants.  I don't know what Mick Jagger did but it looks like he put oranges and figs down his pants, and that is sort of what I think **bleep** avatar physics should look like.  I kept picturing that all day. 

That's what's wrong with men, jhmo. 

 

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It was your post about having a boat that snagged him. The OP should get a boat and write something about it under the 1st life tab of her profile and include a photo of the boat. That'll hook her a man.

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Randall Ahren wrote:

It was your post about having a boat that snagged him. The OP should get a boat and write something about it under the 1st life tab of her profile and include a photo of the boat. That'll hook her a man.

*Laughing in real* 

I forgot about the boat post!  

Just for good measure, I guess I'll add that along with owning & restoring a 22 ft Macgregor...I also own a 17ft Grumman canoe, a Sunfish...and....wait...wait for it...a Scamp trailer!   ; )

 

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Celestiall Nightfire wrote:

Huh?   Are we even in the *same* SL?!   

I've been approached by men the entire time (3.5+ yrs) that I've been in SL...and I go out of my way to discourage them!   Yes, it's the *men* who are trying to seduce, and get all romantic...and want to pursue a relationship...not me.

Cannot relate...as I'm experiencing the direct opposite of this.  I *never* try to steer men into a "sexy romantic" direction.  I try to steer them away from that!  Yet, I encounter men who make the effort to pursue that agenda with me. 

You want to know the places and situations where I get wooed the most?  When in an education sim, or science sim or in a building/scripting competition, etc.  Or working diligently on a build, or exploring, etc.  I'm approached by men when I'm doing something that interests me, and I'm actively involved in that interest.  Just like RL...men are drawn to women that seem interesting to them, it's not about looks.  There must be an allure, a challenge, a stimulating of the mind for a man to make an effort beyond a quickie. 

I have to say my experience in SL has been just like this ^^^  I do NOT try to seduce anyone, or steer them anywhere.  I, also, discourage any kind of relationship/sex talk   I am just friendly with no hint of anything else.  They just appear and start talking.  Most have been in SL for a while - more than a year or two.  Most are in the over 35 crowd (and if everyone was honest right up to 67)  These are the *men* I most enjoy speaking with anyway, but I never do more than ask what kind of music they like and if they have a favorite dancing place.  I never suggest a 'date'.  Usually I don't let the conversation even go there - it is just friendly, intelligent banter.  In my experience, it is the men who want to partner.  I do not have a place where I find more eligible men than another place. The education sims are good places, so are art galleries and anywhere where there is building going on.  On the other hand, if you are just looking for a little fun minus the relationship entanglements, I would suggest a quick trip to Zindra...

I am not sure being MORE assertive always works, but with so many personality types out there you can find plenty of men that like assertive, take-charge kind of women.  Maybe you could try...  not trying?  Just to see what happens...

 

 

 

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I got bleeped and it wasn't a bad, it's a clearly acceptable word to describe a certain part of a male's anatomy.  They bleep anatomy now even if it's a necessary medical word? 

To try to figure out what word I got bleeped about, it's not the word that starts with a p and rhymes with Venus.  The word I was typing, well to figure out, you need to put pen and isle together to try to make out what I got bleeped for.  Pen-isle.  I don't think this is helping in explaining.

However, women are deprived here.  Men get the bouncin' breasts, and women get men with nothing in their pants.  They look like women from the waist down.  It's discrimination and it's unfair!

Can't they design the male avatars to at least look like they put socks down their pants... or something? 

I think a lot of men leave because of this problem; that from the waist down, their avatar looks like a girl in jeans and also I've heard male avatars complain about this.  They don't like looking like a girl from the waist down, so they leave; that only contributes to the male shortage and is a huge problem!

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There is a slider on the male shape that will give the appearance of some vague 'bulk' but it is not defined like the female breasts.  To get that more realistic 'look' one would have to gaze at the male form nude with attachment.  Plus, I don't notice the guy's piece bouncing a whole lot in RL.

I focus on the eyes and smile first.

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Well maybe only Mick Jagger's bounce like that in RL.  I saw a concert of The Rolling Stones oh about three months ago or so on V1 Classics.  I was staring at his crotch the whole time because it looked so hawt!  It would be a good look for SL, imo.  I'd be looking. 

Also, I've met RL men on SL and they are quite frustrated that they have no family jewels, and they leave.  They are frustrated with the way they look.  The male avatar I was watching yesterday had a crotch as flat as a pancake and it looked just like the females who was dancing next to him who was in shorts.   It wasn't sexy for a man to look like that.  Women's enjoyment is being discriminated against.  Not to mention this causes some men to just leave SL.  They look at their crotch area and get very displeased.  I've seen it happen. 

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While males are not rezzed intact, they can rectify that by purchase.  Females, too, can purchase attachments which offer to provide a more realistic view but there is no bouncing down there for us. 

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Mayalily wrote:

Also, I've met RL men on SL and they are quite frustrated that they have no family jewels, and they leave.  They are frustrated with the way they look.  The male avatar I was watching yesterday had a crotch as flat as a pancake and it looked just like the females who was dancing next to him who was in shorts.   It wasn't sexy for a man to look like that.  Women's enjoyment is being discriminated against.  Not to mention this causes some men to just leave SL.  They look at their crotch area and get very displeased.  I've seen it happen. 

I have to say, if a real life guy is sincerely concerned about the size of his virtual "package" in a computer game, he has more problems than just that.

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I am confused here.  Or maybe it is that I am not sure from her post what exactly it is that Moni wants.

Are you just wanting to "pixelate," or are you seeking a LTR Moni?

There are some men in SL who really do care, who aren't here just for the pixel bumping.  We value friendships and one thing that we know is one way to kill a friendship with a woman is to jump in bed with her for a 'one night stand.' 

Possibly the problem is that just like your post, that In World you are sending out mixed messages.  And believe it or not, men can be very sensitive to that.  We prefer to know what is going on, what we are getting into.  Emotions know no gender and sex in many ways can open the door to emotional involvement and attachment.  So what happens is that many of us men (and I suspect women) become cautious in order to protect our hearts.

One other thing that I have seen in my four plus years in SL is that it is next to impossible to have a LTR without bringing RL into it.  Time and time again I have seen relationships end when one or the other would not cross that bridge.  And I have also seen the relationships end when it was discovered who the other person really was in RL.  While there are some who have successfully crossed this bridge here, I think it is the exception.

All these things may matter to the men who you are talking about wanting to jump on poseballs with.

 

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I have to thank everyone for many interesting and insightful answers. Although you don't know me, you have given me enough to think about for a good while. I understand that there is something in the content that has something to do with myself personally. Of course! But the phenomenon I am referring to rather has to do with the flirt approach of my fellow citizens in SL - I think... I don't understand some replies that draw a connection to RL. I am looking for flirts in SL, not RL. And of course all the specifications that count for anything else in SL, count for the romantic part too. I can separate RL and SL easily.

Maybe I have to explain. For me the Second Life experience gets much better with a romantic background. It makes me feel good all the time and makes me want to log in again. I love the playful side of it. How serious it can get depends on the person you do it with. I think RL should be full of love too, but we all know how reality is most of the time for most of the people. In SL romance should sort of be the base of the game, at least that's what I think and expect. Why refrain from it, when you can have it? I know how to spend my time, my life in SL isn't empty at all, I build and script and meet people for all kinds of common activities, but I miss a love that takes care of me. And that's why I often feel like a flower nobody wants to pick. I believe, if men knew what women really want, they would dare much more!

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