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Sonja Smedley

Why do I always fall in love at SL....

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I'm often wondering about the many many profiles I see which all have mentioned a partner, the one-an-only, the best-thing-in-my-life, bla bla bla. Sometimes I ask myself too, if I am doing something wrong.....or in another way than everybody else (never had any kind of romantic relationship in SL). But on the other hand I also never got to know what this famous "drama" is everybody seems to know about. :D

Maybe thats one of the good sides at being single in SL. :matte-motes-sunglasses-1:

 

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I thank all who have responded to me here so abundant and already I´m feeling a lot better today.

A lot of good advice and I think I´ll be more careful in future.

I have seen that friendship is more important and longer lasting than a romance in SL.

Although I have only two good friends here but I appreciate this even more.

These two are also there for me at the moment and I am so grateful.

I need to learn from now on to keep my feelings under control, otherwise I´ll get hurt again.

This was my second partnership here and I think I´m cured now.

And I have noticed that over time my feelings blunt off.

Unfortunately even in real life I always choose the wrong man and that seems to be transferred to SL.

And my mistake was and still is, that I gave too much of me into a partnership and the beloved man climbs into the center of my life.

But I think in future I should come first and then comes everything else.:matte-motes-smile:

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SL is a transient place. Friendships often come and go, and so do relationships. Your story is not unique. Often women are looking for love and romance in SL, and men well....a nice pixel bang. Some men have figured this out and will say all the things women want to hear, when really..they're just rolling their eyes in RL and counting down the minutes before they can get you on a poseball. Then after a while, this whole scenario gets old, and the women get frustrated because they don't get the emotional love they crave, and the men get tired and want a new plaything.

I'm certainly not saying all SL men and women are like this. It's just that it's not at all uncommon.

My advice to you...stop investing your heart and emotions in these men. Clearly it's not working out for  you. Find other worthwhile pursuits in SL. Join a group of people with interests similiar to yours. There's a group or guild for just about everything.

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I dont know.. I dont think anything in Rl or Sl is cut or dry. I think to find real love you need to be willing to  put yourself out there again and again.. sometimes that means to be devestated and hurt. Love is tricky  and I think the only way to really find it is to give it, your whole heart utterly..

 

Maybe someone will hurt you.. Maybe someone will cherish you...

 

I dont know.. But I do know that you have to risk the gamble of the hurt to have the love you need. I am wishing you happiness and hope you find the love you need.

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I accidentally fell on this post, it intrigued me and so I started reading. I don't know what advice to give, I don't have so much wisdom, and I think many of our actions in SL also depend on our cultural background, Latin, Anglo-Saxon, Eastern etc. I am Italian, I am lucky to live in one of the most beautiful and romantic places in southern Italy, all my culture is classic, so my soul is also passionate. Sl is really a second life for me, important as the rl, but I am wise enough not to live here 24h24. I have had experiences like all of you, for a few days it has been my 3rd year of life, and for two and a half years I have a "husband". I read that relationships last no more than 3 months, for me at the beginning not even 3 days, understood after a few days what was more important to them (a bed with kamasutra) I left them without regrets, sending castles back, summer , land buy for me. My relationship as it happens in RL relationships at the beginning was romantic and very passionate, then it is as if we had matured, sex in sl does not interest us much, but much more being together, sharing our experiences, loving and trusting one into the other. It is not always roses and flowers - as we say in Italy - we have had (I have had more) moments of tiredness, of boredom, so sometimes I sent messages to warn him that for this or that reason I would not go home . My husband is from the USA, east coast, we have a good plan to see us every day and make our time zones coincide. He finds me funny, elegant, ingenious (I have a small shop on Market Place of furniture) thoughtful. He is very reserved, single in rl, he is 11 years older than me in SL, a little grumpy, very serious.
It supports me in everything, even in my follies to shoot SL films from classics such as TOP HAT or Sunsent Boulevard. I miss him when he can't go home for work, even if he writes me several times in a day. But sometimes ... I would like to be overwhelmed by a passion ..., to be taken by a whirlwind ..., but they are fleeting thoughts of a moment, I would never give up on him, because he is too precious ... to lose him for nonsense . So I think I'm lucky to have a person with whom there is a strong communion and understanding. This kind of relationship in sl must not be easy, since our acquaintances are a little jealous of this relationship, and friends are left by men without even a word, a justification. This is very bad, we are Avi, we represent ourselves as we are inside, but inside the mesh there is a real heart and real feelings. Maybe nobody will care about this or maybe some of you will say that I am a visionary .... but thanks for reading me ...

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52 minutes ago, Lillith Hapmouche said:

Cool. That's almost as old as this very thread.

You contribution to the discussion is amazingly profound. Please never stop.

  • Haha 2

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11 minutes ago, Lillith Hapmouche said:

Well, good enough to trigger you.

I agree. Anything to keep it breathing again! :D

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