Why are people so antisocial in SL in 2024?

[Charlemagne Allen]

People think SL is dead, since it's basically dead if you are a new person with no friends in world. Search isn't great, and no one will invite you to things. Noobies don't want to reach out to other people. Most people don't really respond to random IM's, which makes the situation worst. Most clubs are genuinely awful lag-fests. The really nice ones where people are more social are paywalled or super small private places. I reach out to noobs and some respond. However, it's not like the old days where you could go to Ahern and yell at silly people and have fun. Most people online are super anti-social in general (see social media), but it's really sad to see it in SL. How do we encourage people to be more outgoing? 

Edited Friday at 02:45 PM by Charlemagne Allen

[Arielle Popstar]

Virtual is mimicking R/L where there are factions attempting to pit one against the other making it unsafe to converse with strangers or even family.

[Midnoot]

2 hours ago, Charlemagne Allen said:

People think SL is dead, since it's basically dead if you are a new person with no friends in world. Search isn't great, and no one will invite you to things. Noobies don't want to reach out to other people. Most people don't really respond to random IM's, which makes the situation worst. Most clubs are genuinely awful lag-fests. The really nice ones where people are more social are paywalled or super small private places. I reach out to noobs and some respond. However, it's not like the old days where you could go to Ahern and yell at silly people and have fun. Most people online are super anti-social in general (see social media), but it's really sad to see it in SL. How do we encourage people to be more outgoing? 

Because of the altaholics who have completely ruined the possibility of ever trusting anyone new. 

Legitimate reasons aside, people really do take it a step farther and rage over the smallest things in SL. They seem to enjoy being alone. You stumble on their land by accident? BANNEd, EJECTED, DONT COME BACK. You bump into them while they're exploring and think  Oh , hello what's u-"STOP HARASSING ME, REPORTED, I KNOW LINDEN LABS PERSONALLY! " etc....  SL really is a containment game for the socially inept.

[Resi Pfeffer]

28 minutes ago, Charlemagne Allen said:

Most people online are super anti-social in general (see social media), but it's really sad to see it in SL.

Tried and still try quite often to invite anyone between close friends and total strangers to explore SL in many ways. Mostly it often doesnt go down that well, or not happening at all, unless its an adult activity.

It was just yesterday when i ran into a person at a bike store, that was actually super nice and not only focused on his own interests (bikes) at first. So we ended up on my boat, after ignoring the island i was inviting him to, ignoring everything around him. But we kept going and i took him around blake sea, cruising through 2nd norway, tropics, rainforest, etc. The more sims we crossed the more he rambled about bikes in general instead, about being the best rock dj ever, told me detailled stories about technical things i had no idea about they even exist. The sail cruise was just a reason for him to keep going, to boast and tell his stories to someone. 

That case might happened only once, but can be applied to so many encounters i have and had, to a bigger or lesser extent. Lots of people arent able anymore to have a convo apart from the "how are you?". They do have their very focused and narrow agenda, and everything thats slighty outside is going to be ignored or pushed aside.

So, i wouldnt 100% agree on your statement, that people arent social. They are, but only when you play within their very tight spectrum of interests.

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, Charlemagne Allen said:

How do we encourage people to be more outgoing? 

People do relate better when they have common interests that provide a bit of needed structure, so I'd advise new people to find groups or regions to explore that fit their interests rather than wandering around aimlessly hoping to connect.

SL is much like RL in this regard - generally we don't wander around aimlessly hoping to find friends - we join groups where people have similar interests to our own.

In the early days it was easier to connect with others because so many had the common interest of building, but that's not the case anymore. So we need to guide new people to the places where they're more likely to find others who have something in common.

Edited Friday at 03:44 PM by Luna Bliss

[Charlemagne Allen]

55 minutes ago, Midnoot said:

SL really is a containment game for the socially inept.

 

[Luna Bliss]

15 minutes ago, Charlemagne Allen said:

  57 minutes ago, Midnoot said:

SL really is a containment game for the socially inept.

Disagree.

In SL we relate personally to others more often, even roleplaying family relationships, and so inadequacies in how we relate to others are more apparent.  With other games the inadequacies are more disguised as people are mainly focusing on a goal (kill something, get the loot, etc.).

I agree there's a lot of socially inept and disturbed people in the world for sure, but see no evidence it's worse in SL compared to other games or the RL world in general.

Edited Friday at 04:20 PM by Luna Bliss

[Anastasia Loxingly]

Discord killed SL socialization

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

1 hour ago, Midnoot said:

SL really is a containment game for the socially inept.

Yeah and i think a lot of people here who have been around for a while have been exposed to some pretty *****y people. Lots of lying, gaslighting, and mental illness. I chat with people I meet sometimes very casually but don't invest in anyone. 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

That hasn't been my experience with SL (or social media, really) at all. Not when I started and certainly not now. I can't speak for the club scene, though. I avoid it.

Some groups have moved to other platforms to socialize. Discord is a big one. Some people have quit, so a few places might feel a bit emptier, but plenty others remain. Random IMs, if not targeted and designed to spark conversation, have never been ideal - even as far back as 2005 that was a very, VERY hit or miss approach. 

I haven't noticed a trend toward the antisocial over the years at all, but I do know some people (raises hand) tend to derender others if we're in overly busy spots, like packed events and sales. I don't do that all the time, though, and random acts of conversation can break out almost everywhere.

[Love Zhaoying]

There's a possibility that if everyone seems anti-social..then..maybe it's something about your approach?

[discussionbot]

1 hour ago, Midnoot said:

SL really is a containment game for the socially inept.

/thread

[Ceka Cianci]

I don't know, I really don't have a problem with it..

I answer any IM's that come my way.

Like just a little bit ago, Someone IM'd me, then that ended up getting a tour of the beach they work at.. Then getting IM's once we were done with the tour and standing around..

Before I knew it ,I was in five different conversations.. hehehe

[Midnoot]

2 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Yeah and i think a lot of people here who have been around for a while have been exposed to some pretty *****y people. Lots of lying, gaslighting, and mental illness. I chat with people I meet sometimes very casually but don't invest in anyone. 

I'm to the point that the SECOND someone thinks I should feel obligated to respond a certain way to a complete stranger, I lose interest in them immediately.. " Oh, you thought I should have inquired WHY you had a bad day? Who are you again?" .. Lolol... I really just don't start caring about anyone until they've been around for months/years.

[Aethelwine]

My early days at hubs being yelled at by strangers never felt all that social.

Bloodlines was a thing back then and despite it's flaws did introduce me to a social group to interact with. After them I found a biker group.

I think Luna's point about joining groups to find people with common interests was key for me and retention beyond the first few months.

I find SL much more social now than when I first joined.

[discussionbot]

1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

I agree there's a lot of socially inept and disturbed people in the world for sure, but see no evidence it's worse in SL compared to other games or the RL world in general.

That’s fair. While I’m mostly an idiot, I’ve definitely had the pleasure to meet and spend quality time with some amazing people, somehow.

[Candide LeMay]

2 hours ago, Charlemagne Allen said:

How do we encourage people to be more outgoing? 

Make us 20 years younger.

[Miri Wicken]

I'll talk to just about anyone as long as they are friendly, sometimes I'll reach out and try to start a conversation but have lately had no success, I've stopped doing that; not by choice, sometimes you get tired of being ignored.

So, now I stand around, sort my inventory out (3yrs of neglect plus I'm abit of a outfit hoarder) and people watch, engage with people who engage me.

I stopped bothering with local chat since last time I did that I got treated like I was an idiot.

 

This has all been my current experince in SL. I kinda agree with the comment of make us all 20yrs younger but uh.. I really don't want to be a preteen again lol

[Sid Nagy]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

There's a possibility that if everyone seems anti-social..then..maybe it's something about your approach?

If you  really mean everyone, than your right.
But let's face it, there are lots of people in SL that have a personal manual longer than Santa's two lists.
Just read profiles for an hour.

For me it is simple: If someone wants to chat, I'll chat. Otherwise I will not most of the time.
Second Life is not really a social place, so neither am I in Second Life.

[Raspberry Crystal]

Simple answer is 'I don't know'. We need something to compare it to. How are other online games doing?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Like some others here, I haven't found socializing is a problem in SL. In fact, sometimes quite the opposite.

And if you know how, you can even get @Sid Nagy talking! (But it's a secret I'm not sharing.)

[Ayashe Ninetails]

5 minutes ago, Raspberry Crystal said:

Simple answer is 'I don't know'. We need something to compare it to. How are other online games doing?

The same as far as I can tell. Plenty of in-game interaction and big communities outside that gather on Twitch, YouTube live, dedicated subreddits, and Discord. Of course, it varies depending on the game. Some are more social-focused and cooperative than others which are sometimes more solo/small group or competitive.

I haven't noticed any changes on this front.

Edited Friday at 06:07 PM by Ayashe Ninetails
Added stuffs

[Ceka Cianci]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Like some others here, I haven't found socializing is a problem in SL. In fact, sometimes quite the opposite.

And if you know how, you can even get @Sid Nagy talking! (But it's a secret I'm not sharing.)

The real secret is, to get him to stop talking once he starts.. hehehe

 

Kidding SID!!! \o/

[Love Zhaoying]

Another take on it: Most complaints of "Second Life is not sociable" come from one of these..

1) Users who are "too new" and don't now the "ins and outs" of being Sociable in Second Life.

2) Users who are "older" and forgot the basic "how to make new friends" skills in Second Life.

3) Users who come into Second Life with expectations that just aren't going to be met: not everyone will want to be sociable; not everyone will want to be your friend; not everyone will want to chat with you.

I have repeated over and over that it is easier to make friends with other users in your "peer group" (whether new users, older users, etc.) who have similar experience levels and interests in Second Life.  Unless YOU are the sociable one and don't mind the occasional rejection / ignore / block.

 

[Raspberry Crystal]

I am not sure that I particularly forgot how to make friends, but it is possible that I am much fussier than I was.