Communities with social neighbors

[BitsyGestures]

Are there any regions that you can recommend or tips you can give to find linden homes that have an active neighbor community -- maybe a community pool, or beach, or some sort of gathering place? I'd love to find a home where I can socialize with neighbors and meet some folks. I'm tired of living in mostly deserted regions where no one goes outside or says hi. I know some people prefer that, but my SL is very quiet and I'd like to change that. TY in advance!

[Ziggy Starsmith]

Try areas of Second Norway. Alot has changed there but still many people say hi and welcome to the neighbourhood. Maybe depends on what area but I  have always had a good welcome.

[ZigZag007]

Try joining a few groups like Bellisseria Citizens 

[diamond Marchant]

The OP is concerned with Linden Homes. I have been in Bellisseria for over 5 years with multiple homes and have never experienced an active neighborhood community. The closest I have seen is when someone creates a themed home, such as an art gallery or coffee shop. You used to be able to put those in the Destination Guide but alas... LL stopped allowing that.

I believe that community in Second Life is found through common interests and is not geography related (unless a location is in support of that interest). As @ZigZag007suggests, you might try joining groups that are aligned with your interests and are somewhat active.

[Nika Talaj]

I've jumped all over and also never experienced an active neighborhood community.  

I wonder if a group of friends could CREATE such a neighborhood?  Could a group of Premium Plus members arrange with LL to all request, and be granted, homes near each other in soon-to-be released regions?  I don't see why not.  In sparsely settled themes like Chalet or Fantasy, it could probably be done in already-released regions.

Probably some people would have to be willing to compromise getting the PERFECT parcel in order to get the PERFECT neighborhood.  I think it could be fun.  Wander over to a friends house and chat while they redecorate, choose a seasonal decoration theme, set a time once a month or so for a "promenade" around the neighborhood or local park, make an on-call taxi that would take you from one house to another, or to the local park or pool.  Fun!

Edited November 19 by Nika Talaj

[Katherine Heartsong]

I find most times that when people are deliberately at home they're in the "I want to left alone" mode, or with a partner relaxing/chilling.

I'd recommend music clubs but that also winds up sometimes cliquey and most folks are obviously there to dance, and I haven't found too many places where there's just chill background music and, say,  a dozen or so avatars just relaxing and chatting nicely in Nearby. That would be really nice to find, but it takes one person with a spanker or an attitude problem because they need to talk about [insert any potentially problematic topic here] before everyone just gets up and leaves.

At least in SL that's possible ... RL everyone's staring dully into the glowing blue screen in their hand. I've seen people text friends who are sitting at the same table. Reminds of something in ,Turkel's "Alone Together" where the author went to interview a college student, had the quad dorm room door opened by the interviewees roommates who instead of walking three feet and knocking on her door to tell her she had company, texted her instead. Weird. (But I am old.)

[Evangeline Arcadia]

As others have suggested, your best bet is to join one of the Belliserian groups - residents sometimes throw impromptu parties, or events are announced in them (for example events happen at the Fairground) and that's probably the best way to meet other residents I think.

There aren't really an 'active' areas. There are a number of official community locations (you can find them in the destination guide), and various hang out spots like open air pools, seating areas you can discover if you explore,  but I've rarely seen people there on my travels. It's really falls to to residents to create an active neighbourhood. You can always create something yourself if you feel inclined and announce it in the groups (with permission). At the Pickle hubs (I've forgotten the official name) there are boards where I think you can book spots to hold events too, from what I remember.

 

[Matthieu Quander]

2 hours ago, Nika Talaj said:

Probably some people would have to be willing to compromise getting the PERFECT parcel in order to get the PERFECT neighborhood. 

I think this is the primary obstacle.  You'd need a group of people who are more interested in the social aspects of living n Bellisseria than they are in finding and decorating the best spots.  When Bellisseria was small, it felt more lively, but now it is so spread out, and people are focused on the house rather than other residents.  I think groups of friends have attempted to claim homes near each other, but I'm not sure any of those situations have lasted for very long.  New releases tend to make the grass feel greener somewhere else.    

I think when people feel social, they are content to go to a music venue or do a Bellisseria group activity, as has been suggested.  That said, there's nothing preventing you from scouting neighborhoods with ample availability and convincing friends to use the Premium Plus ticket system to claim unoccupied homes there.    

[Ziggy Starsmith]

When Belli was smaller it was always fun, parties at the Squishy Pickle and house partys but now it is way too big and a massive ghost town. On my exploring on roads and train and waterways now I see absolutely no one on the radar day or night. When I roamed around as the Bellisseria Cat I would have groups of people gather around me to watch and play and interact but now I seem to have the world to myself there with no one around so my  cat character now roams Callas Galadon (speliing lol).

The Fairgrounds seem to always be the same people having the same partys every week. From what I have seen there is never more than 20 people there if not empty.

Edited November 20 by Ziggy Starsmith

[Clem Marques]

15 hours ago, Nika Talaj said:

I've jumped all over and also never experienced an active neighborhood community.  

I wonder if a group of friends could CREATE such a neighborhood?  Could a group of Premium Plus members arrange with LL to all request, and be granted, homes near each other in soon-to-be released regions?  I don't see why not.  In sparsely settled themes like Chalet or Fantasy, it could probably be done in already-released regions.

Probably some people would have to be willing to compromise getting the PERFECT parcel in order to get the PERFECT neighborhood.  I think it could be fun.  Wander over to a friends house and chat while they redecorate, choose a seasonal decoration theme, set a time once a month or so for a "promenade" around the neighborhood or local park, make an on-call taxi that would take you from one house to another, or to the local park or pool.  Fun!

I'm willing to participate in something like this, if anyone else is too. It'd be fun.

Linden Home themes like the traditional homes, or Newbrooke homes, are also options to consider. Some regions are very empty.

Edited November 20 by Clem Marques

[Always Incognito]

On 11/20/2024 at 8:12 AM, Ziggy Starsmith said:

When Belli was smaller it was always fun, parties at the Squishy Pickle and house partys but now it is way too big and a massive ghost town. On my exploring on roads and train and waterways now I see absolutely no one on the radar day or night. When I roamed around as the Bellisseria Cat I would have groups of people gather around me to watch and play and interact but now I seem to have the world to myself there with no one around so my  cat character now roams Callas Galadon (speliing lol).

The Fairgrounds seem to always be the same people having the same partys every week. From what I have seen there is never more than 20 people there if not empty.

This is kind of strange as SL is supposed to be a ”HUB for social interactions”. But for me it’s the opposite. It’s very very hard to find new friends. That’s why I only log in to redecorate my house nowadays and all my friends are in a game I play. In the game we do things together, chat and having fun. I dunno if it’s my fault? I’ve never had any problems to get friends in games though or rl. Maybee cos I’m European, the time zones…

 

[Love Zhaoying]

On 11/19/2024 at 3:04 PM, Katherine Heartsong said:

I find most times that when people are deliberately at home they're in the "I want to left alone" mode, or with a partner relaxing/chilling.

This makes sense, I've never known a lot of people to actually "socialize" in their SL homes.

[Lyric Demina]

On 11/19/2024 at 3:04 PM, Katherine Heartsong said:

I find most times that when people are deliberately at home they're in the "I want to left alone" mode, or with a partner relaxing/chilling.

Yes!  My Linden Home is private time, with partner or decorating friends; but definitely private time, not public time.  I go out into the public and it's full every day, from my experience, where I frequent -- and it has nothing to do with my Linden Home. 

[Teresa Firelight]

On 11/24/2024 at 11:23 PM, Always Incognito said:

This is kind of strange as SL is supposed to be a ”HUB for social interactions”. But for me it’s the opposite. It’s very very hard to find new friends. That’s why I only log in to redecorate my house nowadays and all my friends are in a game I play. In the game we do things together, chat and having fun. I dunno if it’s my fault? I’ve never had any problems to get friends in games though or rl. Maybee cos I’m European, the time zones…

 

it may have to do with whether or not you reach out to greet your neighbors when they are online. I keep people in "nearby chat" and when I see someone nearby or in the same region as me, I check their profile first to make sure they are someone I am comfortable interacting with and then I IM them with something like "Hello Neighbor" and when they respond begin chatting. Usually but not always we find common ground and end up friending each other. Then we chat more frequently when we aer both online at the same time.

 

[Prokofy Neva]

I recently made the Bellisserian Discussion Club as an alternative to other groups with more rules and to have meetings inworld. But they won't be more than once a month. And in the process of doing this I sent invitations to like 150 of my Bellisserian neighbours in 3-4 of my Linden homes which I have made as public venues with stamps. Out of these, one came and one wrote back...but in the course of doing this I discovered the sims were half or more empty. Maybe they weren't popular homes (chalet, log cabin, Sakura), but there it is, these areas are empty. 

On the Mainland over the years, I have actually met and befriended my neighbours, imagine that! Some of them  have been friends literally for 20 years. But most SL friends I made by going to an activity like art galleries, live music, events with speakers such as at Fantasy Faire. 

I think in Bellisseria, because you cannot put a parcel in search and cannot have commercial activity, all the activity is moved to groups. This is a way to find activities like driving, boating, hiking -- but I'm not sure it's an effective way to find people to actually talk to. It's true that SL reflects the loneliness of modern life -- how can it be otherwise? It has more ways to meet people from around the world, but you have to work at it.

What I find with even the club dances or art gallery openings I go to, most of the people just say a few banal social phrases and then some who are already friends talk in IMs. I can think of only one gallery that actually attempted to hold a public discussion of the art with people contributing and a host asking people questions (there should be more!). Or at a club, some people literally are AFK while their avatar dances away and they tell you that, or else they are trying to pick up just one person and not in "friend" mode.

If you got together a group of Premium Plus friends and worked with the Lindens to have everyone select a home on a new sim, that might be fun -- but then...that's an existing group of friends. And frankly, they should do this on the Mainland, it would be cheaper. One person could get an abandoned sim (there are a lot of them!) and work to put each person on a 1024 or 2048. I have done this, without people being friends, just like-minded about wanting to have nice builds, good views, but no ban lines. 

After a lifelong RL best friend and work colleague died recently, I totalled my remaining friends I talk to every week outside of social media: 3. Then I totalled the number of SL friends I have that I talk to every week or at least frequently: 6. It's an exercise you should try! Then consider the dozens of people you talk to on social media whom you know from RL (or met in RL after meeting on social media) and the number of people you talk to casually in SL. Then it's in the dozens. Generally I find my Internet friends from Xitter or Facebook are "more real" and have more authentic conversations than the anonymous avatars of SL I might talk to without meeting in RL or being close friends. And that lets me know that RL interests are somehow better at sorting and finding friends on social media (e.g. AI, tech, poetry, the war in Ukraine, books, etc) than they are in SL. I have to think why that is. You would think SL would produce more active affinity groups given that there are no costs or low costs involved for renting a room and you can TP for free. But it doesn't. Why? I have to contemplate this more. Mainly I think the reasons are a) search remains badly broken and useless on the official viewer b) ads work poorly.

I think that it is easier and more productive to make a Space on Xitter to talk in on a topic like "AI" or "the war in Ukraine" or "the elections" than in SL. People take their existing followers and just post one tweet everyone sees and the group while live is visible on the sidebar. In SL, if someone isn't in your group already (the rough equivalent of a follower), you have to send out notices which is tedious. The events list while somewhat cleaned up from yesteryear is still a morass. So...back to groups to do your organizer, and yet the chatter in them makes you silence them and miss their notices. 

One way to fix this is to have a feature that enables you to silence chat, but not notices (I don't think this exists, even in Firestorm). There is plenty of discussion about how to fix groups but that's more about making them work better for existing groups of people that already found each other (making the chat stop lagging; making search on full names work) than it is for making them more visible and easier to find and use for people looking for friends.

I still think  big solution for SL for both helping newbies and helping wandering midbies and oldies is to make the welcome areas and infohubs really functional again by RENTING BILLBOARDS so that stores, venues, clubs, regular activities, events have a place to go to place a notice for a reasonable fee. The argument that this leads to adult activity and blight/spam is specious because there is ALREAY a self-functioning system of classifieds called "search places" (with a terrible interface on the regular viewer but a good one on Alchemy, Firestorm etc) in which the problems of "adult" and "blight" don't seem to occur, you know? Possibly because it is tied to land ownership of a parcel of at least 128 m2? Could that be why? Do Linden staff spend a significant time policing search/places ads? No, they probably put word blocks in and other automatical systems AND THEY COULD DO THE SAME WITH THEIR OWN NETWORKED BILLBOARDS IN PUBLIC AREAS. 

In order to overcome Linden/oldbie/forums allergy against such a system, those that already commandeer welcome areas that get newbies have to set an example and provide such rental billboards themselves. 

Edited December 1 by Prokofy Neva

[Kathlen Onyx]

There are already options for people to live and socialize in a town like setting.  They are called Urban Roleplaying sims.  I've joined a few and there is never any socializing going on. EVER. Even with all the amenities they offer such as a coffee shop, clothing store, Hospital.  Pretty places, expensive housing and never anyone to socialize with.