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I would like advice how to play SL. I notice that this game is hard. 

* hard to start : hard to have decent avatar. The learning curve is very steep and noboy to help. 

* hard to be social. How to get friends or playing with other. Impression that all player want to play alone

* In secondlife you don't have a second chance. That part is the hardest. Maybe this is the reason why many people start with a new avatar.

 

My question : what advice you can give me to have fun and play with pleasure ? I try hard to have a nice avatar and make friends and even play games. But I do many mistakes and people don't accept my mistake. I have to be perfect from the first time. I try try try but I think it is like I do 10 try and the 9th is ok. But many times the 1st fails is definitive. 

Do I play too seriously ? SL is supposted to be a game. This game affect my mood. When I loose That affect me and My value of myself diminushed or digreas.  I have the right word. My selfconfidence go down each time I do a mistake of I fail. 

 

How to have less fails : I want to have 8 fails and then I success instead of 9. How to learn how to play? What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy. Technicaly it is hard but I can learn it but socialy is the hardest part. Is it really a social game? 

What is your advice? Stoping playing ? (if I ask that question it is because I want to play) - Making break I already did it ? Read documentation ? change my mindeset. I try to be happy and optimistic but when I fail how to be optimistic. 

I notice also that very often I am lost in the game. I am somewhere and I don't know how to do how to play. It is like that I am lost. 

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My advice would be to join active groups in Second Life that have a common interest. They are usually a good source for help and a great way to meet people. There are active avatar help groups and also groups that share info on activities.

As an example i can use myself. My interest is vehicles and travel in SL. I make vehicles and i enjoy driving and flying in Second Life. So i joined the Drivers of SL group. They help each other, have a lot of social banter and events.

You can see if there is an active group for a subject that has your interest.

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'Less seriously' is probably a good idea, and as you already have it in your mind, give it a try, as you're not happy with how 'too seriously' is going, and 'too...' may well be 'too...'.

It's hard to give concrete advice, as you're not giving concrete info. What kind of apparently unforgivable 'mistakes' or 'fails' are you talking about? What do you say or do that people 'don't accept', what form does that take, do they actually say something to make you feel diminished, or is that just your interpretation, do they ghost you, ...?

If you give some actual examples of what keeps happening to you, maybe people can tell you if a different approach might help, or if you somehow just keep running into silly or even mean-spirited people, or...

In any case, I think, 'less seriously' is a good idea for SL generally; even more serious friendships usually start from less seriously, and you should be less affected by how others react or not react to you, if you don't take it seriously. Try to not give others power over how you feel. If you didn't do anything unforgivable, don't let them make you feel like you did, try to learn from your interactions, but try to not let it affect your self confidence. SL, or RL, that's all the same in that regard. You decide how you feel, not others. It should be fun, you're definitely getting that part right. 

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4 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

I would like advice how to play SL. I notice that this game is hard. 

* hard to start : hard to have decent avatar. The learning curve is very steep and noboy to help. 

* hard to be social. How to get friends or playing with other. Impression that all player want to play alone

* In secondlife you don't have a second chance. That part is the hardest. Maybe this is the reason why many people start with a new avatar.

 

My question : what advice you can give me to have fun and play with pleasure ? I try hard to have a nice avatar and make friends and even play games. But I do many mistakes and people don't accept my mistake. I have to be perfect from the first time. I try try try but I think it is like I do 10 try and the 9th is ok. But many times the 1st fails is definitive. 

Do I play too seriously ? SL is supposted to be a game. This game affect my mood. When I loose That affect me and My value of myself diminushed or digreas.  I have the right word. My selfconfidence go down each time I do a mistake of I fail. 

 

How to have less fails : I want to have 8 fails and then I success instead of 9. How to learn how to play? What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy. Technicaly it is hard but I can learn it but socialy is the hardest part. Is it really a social game? 

What is your advice? Stoping playing ? (if I ask that question it is because I want to play) - Making break I already did it ? Read documentation ? change my mindeset. I try to be happy and optimistic but when I fail how to be optimistic. 

I notice also that very often I am lost in the game. I am somewhere and I don't know how to do how to play. It is like that I am lost. 

I've noticed that you have a few quotes from "The Little Prince" in your profile, especially the chapter where the Prince meets the Fox.

Don't forget this paragraph:

“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me — like that — in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”

Just reading what you've been writing, you seem like you come on very strong and people who you start to be friends with end up avoiding you. People who talk a lot and want a lot of attention, especially when they've just met someone, can be exhausting for a lot of people. Few people come to Second Life to be exhausted.

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5 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

I would like advice how to play SL. I notice that this game is hard. 

* hard to start : hard to have decent avatar. The learning curve is very steep and noboy to help. 

* hard to be social. How to get friends or playing with other. Impression that all player want to play alone

* In secondlife you don't have a second chance. That part is the hardest. Maybe this is the reason why many people start with a new avatar.

The first thing is, Don't look at it as a game, because there really are no goals, other than setting goals yourself, sort of like in the real world. you can have goals or just live day to day doing whatever comes to your mind. You want to be a creator, you can try that, want to be pretty much anything, you can pretty much try everything that comes to mind..

Second thing, Ya a second life has a pretty hard starting point..The thing is you probably have more directions that you can go than you can shake a stick at. A lot of platforms don't have nearly the curve that we do here. It's not one of those jump in and go places really..

You can always find help in the groups of the products you may purchase.. Just be polite in those groups when asking for help and they can be very helpful and you may even make some contacts in them.. If you see me in any of them, you can hit me up for help also.. If I can help I will.

Thirdly, Don't force the social, It'll more than likely come to you as you progress with whatever direction or directions you take. Especially if you are female.. lol

Just be careful of the drama, unless you like that sort of thing.. Some do, some don't.. If you do, then it's only a matter of time that it finds you. It's harder to avoid than find, that's for sure.. hehehe

A bit of advice also with that is, Don't let your avatar go to your head to where it gives you an ego.. That's easy to happen too, especially when you are newer and start feeling good about your avatar and those hardlegs come a callin with their compliments to get you in the barn loft for a quickie or even ask you to marry them or  put on their collar , or whatever the kids are doing nowadays to get some.. hehehe

The fourth thing is, You can always restart, even with the same account/avatar.. I've been here going on 18 years now in July.. I can't count on both hands how many times I switched things up and went another way.. It's easy to get caught in a bubble and think the whole grid/SL is this one thing that you are caught up in at the time.. It's much bigger than that bubble. You can always pop the bubble and find more and more things to do and places to go and even people to relate with.. Keep your eyes open to the bigger picture, because  it's easy for a community to make you feel like, we are the world..

With second life, there is a good saying to keep in mind.. The best offense, is a good defense.. Don't go giving anyone access to your account or letting anyone remote anything, like your computer or something..

Lastly,  Myself, I find that a sense of humor, not offensive  but fun humor, goes a long way.. I tend to avoid the serious and gravitate to the ones that just look like they are having fun..

I did the whole drama thing in my first and second year and it was no fun at all.. It was like being a pinball stuck in the asteroid belt. What an ego I had too..lol

Myself , I would say, Don't be in such a hurry and take your time and enjoy the experiences along the way, because if you stick around long enough, you'll be wishing you were a newbie again.. But that'll pass too.. lol

Just be patient and enjoy the ride as much as you can and soak up and learn and enjoy all the new things as come to you.. That curve gets smaller over time.. But taking the scenic route is the best I think.. Rushing things really, you end up missing a lot..

 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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6 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

My question : what advice you can give me to have fun and play with pleasure ? I try hard to have a nice avatar and make friends and even play games. But I do many mistakes and people don't accept my mistake. I have to be perfect from the first time. I try try try but I think it is like I do 10 try and the 9th is ok. But many times the 1st fails is definitive. 

Do I play too seriously ? SL is supposted to be a game. This game affect my mood. When I loose That affect me and My value of myself diminushed or digreas.  I have the right word. My selfconfidence go down each time I do a mistake of I fail. 

 

How to have less fails : I want to have 8 fails and then I success instead of 9. How to learn how to play? What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy. Technicaly it is hard but I can learn it but socialy is the hardest part. Is it really a social game? 

Well, as are others have said already, it is not a game nor a social world but rather consider it to be a virtual Insane Asylum. The gatekeepers  (Linden's) keep the residents on their toes by instituting policies to make sure that you're always feeling a little crazy and on edge. This is heightened by creators and developers not following any sort of standard in how they distribute or make you wear their bodies and clothes. It is especially difficult for non-native English speakers.

My own path was that I stayed in SL for a few months and then went to opensim grids where it was more relaxed and easier to manage learning the basics and get help. Once I was familiar enough, I stopped back here in Second Life like it's a place to visit but not really wanting to live here in case I also get infected with the crazies! 

In any case, it can be quite addictive and as far as I'm concerned, worth the effort if you take it with the right mindset.

 

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First, stop thinking you need to be perfect. None of us looked great when we started. Second Life is a weird and complicated world. Even after being here for years, nobody knows how to do everything. Some people focus on making their avatar look good and playing dress up dolly. Some people focus on learning how to make stuff. Some people just like to chat or explore. Take your time to find what you like to do.

Second, don't be afraid to ask for help. People on this forum will try to help, especially with specific questions and when you post pictures of problems with your avatar.

Third, join groups inworld that interest you. You can join free groups (more members usually means the groups are more active), see if you like the group chat, then drop the group if it's boring or not what you like. Fabulously Free and SL Frees and Offers are good groups for newbies, because they suggest many free clothes and things. When you go to the places advertised, this gives you something to do and a way to meet other people. The people in these groups are used to helping newbies too. 

Fourth, explore the world. Have you been to the Welcome Hub? Mentors and long time residents there will be willing to help you. If you get a free boat or a $L1 train on Marketplace, sailing along a coastline or riding the rails can be a relaxing way to explore SL. Opening up the World Map and going to places with some green dots in them is a good way to explore too.

Most of all, be patient and don't be so hard on yourself.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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7 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy.

There actually is no correct way to use SL, and everyone's going to be here for entirely different reasons. Given that, my advice is to figure out what it is you like being in SL for. 

For me personally, SL is primarily an avatar creation/photography tool. Hobby/lifestyle-wise, I'm a pretty huge gamer and love everything from MMOs to roguelike deckbuilders. Because of that, I don't really need SL to do much else. MMOs are my social outlet, RPGs and simulation games for roleplay/combat/life simulation, survival/crafting games for building bases and exploration, narrative games and visual novels for diving into a good story, etc. All that's really left is to have a creative outlet, and that's where SL comes in, and I mostly just use it to style characters and photograph them. It taps into both my love of fashion and design. Good enough for me!

Others come here for entirely different reasons. For some, SL is primarily social. They focus on meeting people and building large circles of family and friends. Others spend their time creating content. Others come here to roleplay. Some are explorers and collect lots of vehicles. Etc. Early on, I was a lot more social here, but new games came along with better tools that made socializing with large groups a whole lot easier.

Short version - figure out what you want to use SL for and then focus on that. If you want to build, look into classes on Blender and content creation. If you want to socialize, look around for upcoming big events that tend to draw a lot of people at once, or seek out some smaller venues built around nightclubs, live music/performance, and social games. If you like art, there are entire communities for that. Roleplay, same. Exploration - there are groups for that, too. Making a good avatar - check around Second Life's YouTube channel for their SL University video series on that.

Most importantly, don't stress. SL isn't that serious unless you really want it to be, for some reason.

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11 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

I notice also that very often I am lost in the game. I am somewhere and I don't know how to do how to play. It is like that I am lost. 

Maybe it's time to visit Help Island and relearn the basics?  How to get from place to place and not be lost.  How to do things without so many mistakes.  Have as many Second Chances as you wish in your Second Life; just don't hurt others. 

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1 minute ago, Bree Giffen said:

If you turn into a puppy avatar, you will become irresistible. 

🐶

I actually love this idea. Switching to a non-human avatar at least part of the time removes the worry about wearing a mesh body, head and clothing, so you can just enjoy exploring SL and meeting people.

Tinies are the original cute animal avatars in SL. You can probably find some cheap ones for sale inworld. Dinkies are similar but mesh, cute and easy to use, have optional clothing you can buy, but cost a few hundred lindens. 

Timber Wilds Industries makes great realistic animal avatars that cost a couple thousand lindens, but don't need clothing or other attachments. They can't use human animations, but come with their own animations in their HUD. Some come with cute dances. 

There are free or cheap animal avatars on SL Marketplace. You can also wear a full-body alpha layer to hide your body, then wear an inexpensive companion pet avatar. Jian makes good pets, and you can find No Copy gotcha versions for under $L 100 on Marketplace. Rezz Room makes gorgeous animals, but theirs cost more. Add the pet to have it walk next to you, or Edit it to put it at the center of where your avatar is if you're invisible. 

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7 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Second Life is a weird and complicated world. Even after being here for years, nobody knows how to do everything.

I still can't get my tattoos to show up on Maitreya v.2 or 3    :(   I might have to read directions!!

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59 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I still can't get my tattoos to show up on Maitreya v.2 or 3    :(   I might have to read directions!!

Are the tattoos for applier layers or BOM?  Maybe you need to update your Maitreya to v. 5.3?  Then you'll get the Maitreya LaraX version too.

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Just now, Persephone Emerald said:
1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

I still can't get my tattoos to show up on Maitreya v.2 or 3    :(   I might have to read directions!!

Are the tattoos for applier layers or BOM?  Maybe you need to update your Maitreya to v. 5.3?  Then you'll get the Maitreya LaraX version too.

I created such a mess that even a well known creator I bought a bunch of outfits from couldn't help me!  I am very talented!  ;0

I do use LaraX and my tattoos show up. But somehow, when I applied a skin from the aforementioned creator it 'stuck' permanently to my Maitreya body (both v2 and 3). I did update and use the new 5.2 so at least that strange skin is gone (I was being a witch for SL with an odd skin as part of it), but my efforts at using my tattoos fail with the update.   I guess I really do need to read instructions on layers.

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16 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

what advice you can give me to have fun and play with pleasure ?

I believe that Second Life appeals to very few people. If you look at the only concurrency data I know about, you will see the number of concurrent users in Second Life would easily fit into many outdoor sports arenas. I have been in SL since 2009 and  I talk about it A LOT with real life friends and family. No one I know is interested in  being here. None of them "get it".

The fact that you have stuck with SL as long as you have means you might be one of the weirdos on this bus. As others have said, keep trying new things and you may find something that gives you joy.

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7 hours ago, Jules Catlyn said:

My advice would be to join active groups in Second Life that have a common interest. They are usually a good source for help and a great way to meet people. There are active avatar help groups and also groups that share info on activities.

As an example i can use myself. My interest is vehicles and travel in SL. I make vehicles and i enjoy driving and flying in Second Life. So i joined the Drivers of SL group. They help each other, have a lot of social banter and events.

You can see if there is an active group for a subject that has your interest.

 

7 hours ago, Zalificent Corvinus said:

No, it really isn't.

No.

@Gabriel Isodo Groups are an excellent way to meet like minded people.

Is Second Life a game? The answers are highly debatable. It is like arguing if RL is a game or not. You can approach both as a game or something more. I think both can be treated as a game but both have the possibility of being something more. It is up to you to decide whether to pursue the something more.

I think of SL as the something more than a game. Games have specific rules and goals, which determine a winner. There is no way to WIN Second Life. It is there to enjoy... or not. I consider SL as a toy. Something to be played with. Some what like a yo-yo or model airplane.

No second chance... that idea is WAY far from reality. RL has serious limitations. There are very real and uncomfortable consequences for a person's actions. But in SL one can completely start over with a new account. One can also retain their account and simply decide to be someone and do something different.

Depending on where you live the freedom SL offers is or is not apparent. How you see freedom is a matter of how you have been conditioned and trained. And it is a matter of how well read you are. Which is a way of saying you either live RL in a propaganda bubble or you have broken out. SL is a free market system where you can do just about anything you want. Some people play like they are millionaires and others build businesses in SL make RL six and seven figure incomes... just about anything a person wants.

The idea that you are doing something wrong seems odd to me. I suspect you have some ideas about SL that you are imposing on what is supposed to happen. My belief is doing SL wrong means your viewer/computer crashes. Your 'wrong' is not that. So, to get the help you want/need you'll have to be more specific as to what you are doing wrong and in what scenario you see your mistakes happening.

 

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19 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

How to have less fails : I want to have 8 fails and then I success instead of 9. How to learn how to play? What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy. Technicaly it is hard but I can learn it but socialy is the hardest part. Is it really a social game? 

What denotes a failure for you in the social area?

And what would being socially successful look like for you?

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1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said:

What denotes a failure for you in the social area?

And what would being socially successful look like for you?

Check his posting history. He'll give you some clues.

His "friendlyness index" was a classic.

Take more than 5 seconds to speak to him after he arrives - UN-friendly

Don't talk to him first - UN-friendly

Dare to EVER be AFK, for any length of time at all - UN-friendly AND rude

 

This isn't his first rodeo on this topic in the last few years. They all conform to a pattern.

He's not really clued up about SL, despite the amount of time he's been here, he admits to having "no imagination" and he's bored. He wants ALL OF US to entertain him by talking to him. SL is a "social game, you win by making other people talk to you about your interests not theirs, when you want to be entertained, not when they feel social.

 

 

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22 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

I would like advice how to play SL. I notice that this game is hard. 

* hard to start : hard to have decent avatar. The learning curve is very steep and noboy to help. 

* hard to be social. How to get friends or playing with other. Impression that all player want to play alone

* In secondlife you don't have a second chance. That part is the hardest. Maybe this is the reason why many people start with a new avatar.

 

My question : what advice you can give me to have fun and play with pleasure ? I try hard to have a nice avatar and make friends and even play games. But I do many mistakes and people don't accept my mistake. I have to be perfect from the first time. I try try try but I think it is like I do 10 try and the 9th is ok. But many times the 1st fails is definitive. 

Do I play too seriously ? SL is supposted to be a game. This game affect my mood. When I loose That affect me and My value of myself diminushed or digreas.  I have the right word. My selfconfidence go down each time I do a mistake of I fail. 

 

How to have less fails : I want to have 8 fails and then I success instead of 9. How to learn how to play? What is the correct way to play. Specialy socialy. Technicaly it is hard but I can learn it but socialy is the hardest part. Is it really a social game? 

What is your advice? Stoping playing ? (if I ask that question it is because I want to play) - Making break I already did it ? Read documentation ? change my mindeset. I try to be happy and optimistic but when I fail how to be optimistic. 

I notice also that very often I am lost in the game. I am somewhere and I don't know how to do how to play. It is like that I am lost. 

SL is more like a third space where people do whatever tf they want. I think maybe you would have a better time if you approached things like this. I have the opposite problem. I didn't know in the beginning it would be a problem, but I'm a very curious person and genuinely interested in seeing what others are doing in SL. People are beautiful and it's like a window into their soul. So, sometimes people become upset with me because I don't have time to completely immerse myself in their world or become interested in something else. I have had to distance myself from some amazing people in the past because of this. Maybe you are expecting too much of people and they get turned off. Maybe it would be more productive for you socially if you became not a main character when in sl. You might find it more rewarding. 

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14 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Tinies are the original cute animal avatars in SL. You can probably find some cheap ones for sale inworld.

You can get an original Wynx Tiny avatar here and the Dinkie avatar here.   There are some free avatars in the Welcome Centre.   It looks a bit weird just now cos we're having a SciFi theme for a while. :)

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12 hours ago, Luna Bliss said:

I created such a mess that even a well known creator I bought a bunch of outfits from couldn't help me!  I am very talented!  ;0

I do use LaraX and my tattoos show up. But somehow, when I applied a skin from the aforementioned creator it 'stuck' permanently to my Maitreya body (both v2 and 3). I did update and use the new 5.2 so at least that strange skin is gone (I was being a witch for SL with an odd skin as part of it), but my efforts at using my tattoos fail with the update.   I guess I really do need to read instructions on layers.

You do know that you have version 5.3 in the extras hud that is in your Lara x folder?

Also, when a skin sticks, have you tried just applying a new skin rather than trying to remove the one you are trying to remove?

Just like system skins, it should replace the old one.

Worst case scenario, you can always unpack a new body from the box it came in.

With tattoo or any layers, always make a copy of the layers before using them. It's just a matter of taking off the layers then. Just make a folder in the lara folder for them.. 

I used to do that,rather than having to apply them all the time.

Actually, I still do it that way for my soaked and wet looks that I use for the beach. This way those get worn when I use those outfit folders. 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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