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When do you realize that there's nothing for you in SL?


CaitlinParker
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On 12/5/2022 at 6:12 PM, CaitlinParker said:

I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in.

Aside from performing Bible Readings on Sundays in SL, most of the time there's nothing for me to do.

I do sim hop, yet, I get bored.  I've had people tell me that I should put my energy into creating, yet I feel that if I put Blender on my PC again... it'll start to have problems once more.  Anyone can create alpha layers and edit textures.  I try to fit in, but instead I just feel like that square peg that's surrounded by a bunch of circular ones who often are more part of the group or clique atmosphere than anything.  The last time I tried attending an event that I ended up shutting down after a little over an hour.  Everyone I know is usually busy with their group stuff (RP/etc.) or busy with other stuff so pointless to even chat.

I think you've all realized where this is going at this point.  There's literally nothing for me in SL.  Most of the time, because there's nothing for me in SL, I just end up sitting around, surf the web or afk nap.

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, but I do understand.

Don't worry about trying to fit it, just be yourself. I'm not a part of any cliques, families, or groups; but for now, I'm still managing to find something that keeps me interested in logging in.

I just recently came back from a 3-year break and I feel rejuvenated. Before I left, I was beginning to feel somewhat disillusioned because some of my long-term friendships had run their course and came to a rather disastrous end. Also, my second life was a bit stagnant, so I felt it was best to take a much needed hiatus. Although things have changed quite a bit since I left, I'm having fun trying to get reacquainted with everything. I still haven't managed to meet any new friends yet, but I'm sure that I will happen over time.

I'd like to learn how to create things, there are probably others on SL who'd love to learn as well. Maybe you can start teaching classes?

 

Edited by Destiny Marques
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There's nothing for you in SL right now.

Take it from me -that changes. I've "flounced" and "logged out forever" enough times to know!

I have clinical depression as well and it distorts your perceptions -it also eventually lifts, at least for me. Hang on and learn not to trust it too much.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 12/5/2022 at 7:12 PM, CaitlinParker said:

I'm not sure if this is the right section to post this in.

Aside from performing Bible Readings on Sundays in SL, most of the time there's nothing for me to do.

I do sim hop, yet, I get bored.  I've had people tell me that I should put my energy into creating, yet I feel that if I put Blender on my PC again... it'll start to have problems once more.  Anyone can create alpha layers and edit textures.  I try to fit in, but instead I just feel like that square peg that's surrounded by a bunch of circular ones who often are more part of the group or clique atmosphere than anything.  The last time I tried attending an event that I ended up shutting down after a little over an hour.  Everyone I know is usually busy with their group stuff (RP/etc.) or busy with other stuff so pointless to even chat.

I think you've all realized where this is going at this point.  There's literally nothing for me in SL.  Most of the time, because there's nothing for me in SL, I just end up sitting around, surf the web or afk nap.

You could try joining a wider variety of groups, search on words that are of interest to you; and God forbid, look at the Events list, which can be a total horror at times, but surprises me. The groups promoting art and artists have been very interesting and compelling to me; even if you don't collect art there are really stunning works and venues in SL. The same with live music. Art and music can sustain you for a long time. And even shopping and quests. It sounds like you need a break from SL, however, and that's always beneficial.

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Yesterday i was looking for an event to find "millions of active users". Brothels, porn, some sick braindead stuff and a little bit of music in clubs, where players have 10+ year old accounts in very old communities which typically are very hard to integrate and let's be honest, stable communities don't need new people if they are stable, specific, and everywhing works fine for them. I think i've seen everything. And store with customization. This is someone's sick fantasy porn version of sims. Haha, not very funny though.

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I realized there ain't much when I began playing FFXIV which has a much more vibrant social scene. And for the price of just €10,99 a month, it offers a lot more social interaction than Second Life.

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I've been off and on SL for many years like many said in this thread, so when did I know I needed a break?  EEP made me take a break for a whole year and then I returned and struggled with EEP but, aside from those struggles, it was great too see friends again.  I still cannot stand EEP as I finally got my lighting good in my homes but when I go to friend's parties my avatar often times looks hideous like it's made of plastic.  I think for me to need a break is it's a technical issue or something that is just not working and is causing too much frustration, for me that's EEP.  I'm stating my issue here but don't want to go off topic into a discussion about EEP.  I have friends who are *trying* to help make it work better.  Another is this PBR thing coming down the pike.  SL switching to PBR makes me not want to create and has taken the wind out of my sails to create as I don't want to create now only to have it look bad in PBR or have to be re-done.  So, I'm kind of in LIMBO now with SL.  I go on SL once in a while now.  So, for me, it's technical issues that cause too much frustration.  It's like why should I spend money on my avatar only to have it look hideous in someone else's EEP lighting?  I was so mortified by it, I left the party as I couldn't deal with it anymore.  I haven't gone to a party since.

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I think for many people, myself included, SL is a great distraction and a terrible hobby. People who are into the creative side of SL get a lot more out of it, and good for them, but I think for people like me it's a place to goof around and have fun. Low expectations are the key. It's a guilty pleasure.

It sounds like where you're coming from is, you need to get out of yourself for a bit (which SL can definitely offer) and engage in something fulfilling that creates an experience beyond, "Oh hey this is kinda cool" (which SL is at best hit-or-miss). Best thing I can suggest is a library card and one of those online lists of books everyone should read. Those lists are all terrible but they'll get you to try something you wouldn't have otherwise, and that's the key.

Get your brain going a bit, then come back to SL when it needs a rest.

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On 2/3/2023 at 8:38 PM, EliseAnne85 said:

EEP made me take a break for a whole year and then I returned and struggled with EEP but, aside from those struggles, it was great too see friends again.  I still cannot stand EEP as I finally got my lighting good in my homes but when I go to friend's parties my avatar often times looks hideous like it's made of plastic.  I think for me to need a break is it's a technical issue

When teleporting to a place, your viewer might get the local EEP settings, thats true. But you always can override it, as these settings are local. You dont have to stick to it.
I really tried, but i cant understand why that small "inconvenience" even bothers you.
For example, in case you love the CaWL Windlight as it illuminates your avatar perfectly, just make it your standard WL/EEP setting, or choose whatever you fancy or whatever you have created yourself.
 

On 2/5/2023 at 4:23 AM, Ezbeharra said:

People who are into the creative side of SL get a lot more out of it, and good for them, but I think for people like me it's a place to goof around and have fun. Low expectations are the key.

I would say: Having low expectations and being creative is almost a guarantee for having a blast in SL, for years and even decades.

Edited by Resi Pfeffer
typo
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3 hours ago, Resi Pfeffer said:

When teleporting to a place, your viewer might get the local EEP settings, thats true. But you always can override it, as these settings are local. You dont have to stick to it.
I really tried, but i cant understand why that small "inconvenience" even bothers you.
For example, in case you love the CaWL Windlight as it illuminates your avatar perfectly, just make it your standard WL/EEP setting, or choose whatever you fancy or whatever you have created yourself.

This does not change how other people see your avatar. For anyone whose enjoyment of SL involves the social presentation of their avatar, the effect of the environment on their appearance to others is a significant and valid concern.

Edited by Ezbeharra
be very specific
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21 minutes ago, Ezbeharra said:

This does not change how other people see your avatar. For anyone whose enjoyment of SL involves the social presentation of their avatar, the effect of the environment on their appearance to others is a significant and valid concern.

Which may be true but you have never had control over how others see you.  Even before EEP, you could set your WL to remain the same wherever you went.  I always did unless I was in a space to take pictures.   

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Just now, Rowan Amore said:

Which may be true but you have never had control over how others see you.  Even before EEP, you could set your WL to remain the same wherever you went.  I always did unless I was in a space to take pictures.   

That's really not the point, though. Most people don't run around with their viewer WL/EEP set to something that makes everyone look garish and weird, and those who do know what they've done. Most people either use the shared local environment or have one of the basic day/night/sunset/sunrise settings (that they probably forgot about). The point is not, "I want to control exactly what everyone sees when they look at me." The point is, "I want to look nice to normal people with typical settings."

Personally, I just avoid places with really weird lighting (or refuse to feel guilty about using a subtle facelight in such places--yes I know they can be turned off in the viewer, but most people probably don't), and also avoid wearing anything that does really obnoxious stuff in certain kinds of light (e.g. HD applier makeup for EvoX), but I can see how someone might just get really frustrated with it all.

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17 minutes ago, Ezbeharra said:

" The point is, "I want to look nice to normal people with typical settings."

There is little to no control you ever will have about how other people will see your avatar.

And thats not limited to SL only:
-If you would turn graphics to ultra in a first person shooter, your enemy still might see you as a chunky pixel mess, as they prefer 200+ FPS over nice graphics.
-Post a nice picture you made and edited on Flickr or here in the forum. While you maybe balanced the colors to perfection, using  a expensive Eizo screen, 98% of the people looking at your picture will use their HP, Samsung and low-mid price business laptop screens,  or looking at your pic with their overly bright set cellphons, seeing a quite different color scheme than you have intended.

1 hour ago, Ezbeharra said:

the effect of the environment on their appearance to others is a significant and valid concern.

Your choice of words doesnt really sound like you are interested in many other things than just making sure to look good for people surrounding you, despite the technical impossibility. That will make the bubble you can live in very small.

And after all its still a game, not a RL clothes manufacturer, where you as a fashion artist really would have to make sure, that your creations leave their factory exactly the way you ordered them, for example.

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41 minutes ago, Ezbeharra said:

Most people don't run around with their viewer WL/EEP set to something that makes everyone look garish and weird

A surprising amount of people (as seen by pictures posted here and on Flickr) do seem to run around with Midday which is an absolutely horrid lighting for avatars.  Nothing I can do about how  they see me.  

 

41 minutes ago, Ezbeharra said:

Most people either use the shared local environment or have one of the basic day/night/sunset/sunrise settings

The basics are the worst actually in my experience.  Local lighting is often too dark at places I go so I rarely use it.  A lot of places where I take pictures have spent time setting up their EEP so I try that first and then adjust as needed.   Usually just lightening the overall look or moving the sun around to cast shadows better.  

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1475089075_Capturedu2023-02-1507-12-21.png.4c16682451b0fb5e5be60ed78248bd01.png

 

SL is changing.  I see more and more frequently profile with information " DO NOT TALK" like this one.

if you are not allowed to say 'Hello' how to talk. I always start talking with greating 'Hello'. otherwise It is rude.

 

I think we could add one information in SL

A check box with Chat allowed or chat not allowed. With a green light or red light. With red it is not possible to click IM with red it would be like today.

What do you think of this new feature.

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9 minutes ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

1475089075_Capturedu2023-02-1507-12-21.png.4c16682451b0fb5e5be60ed78248bd01.png

 

SL is changing.  I see more and more frequently profile with information " DO NOT TALK" like this one.

if you are not allowed to say 'Hello' how to talk. I always start talking with greating 'Hello'. otherwise It is rude.

 

I think we could add one information in SL

A check box with Chat allowed or chat not allowed. With a green light or red light. With red it is not possible to click IM with red it would be like today.

What do you think of this new feature.

This is sad ㅠㅠ. I haven't come across this in anyone's profile and I'm a keen profile reader. If this truly is becoming more common, then sl will die. It's very anti-social.

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8 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

1475089075_Capturedu2023-02-1507-12-21.png.4c16682451b0fb5e5be60ed78248bd01.png

 

SL is changing.  I see more and more frequently profile with information " DO NOT TALK" like this one.

if you are not allowed to say 'Hello' how to talk. I always start talking with greating 'Hello'. otherwise It is rude.

 

I think we could add one information in SL

A check box with Chat allowed or chat not allowed. With a green light or red light. With red it is not possible to click IM with red it would be like today.

What do you think of this new feature.

I think it's the kind of suggestion that screams "Hello, I am an over-entitled whiner who demands that you entertain me...".

SL isn't changing, people are changing. More and more of them are sick to death with

 

INCOMING RANDOM IM SPAM FROM A JERK WARNING:

Hello...

[2 min delay while the jerk sends the same message to 5 other female avatars on 3 regions]

I'm bored

[2 min delay wile this is spammed at 5 others]

Entertain me!

[IM SPAM terminated by victim]

 

STOP spamming peoples IM boxes with demands for attention, try talking in local chat like a normal person.

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If @CaitlinParkeris still hanging around this thread, do you mind telling what Bible Study group is active? I noticed a few when I searched, but I'm not sure which one(s) still meet up.

Also, I know it's been a bit since you posted this, but I sincerely hope you're in a better place. Depression is an ugly beast, but it doesn't hang around forever. I hope you've made you way through the worst of it and are feeling rejuvenated! I'm new, and a bit awkward, but feel free to message me if you'd like.

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There's ALWAYS something to do.

 

My toilet collection has kept me busy since february 2008

 

I often find myself a "project" to do in sl, (read: entails pestering the living daylights out of support).

 

There was my "Easter Eggs" project during lockdown (mapping secret ares on linden owned land), and that was passed to various inworld groups, and forum threads for people to enjoy.

 

My "rezz zone rectifier" project, where I mapped all of the sl roads and plagued support for dozens of new rez zones to open up waterways, mountains, snowland etc for people to enjoy.

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2 hours ago, Nagumi Yazimoto said:

I'll do things to you in SL you won't think are possible. 

   I'm not sure whether that's supposed to be intimidating or arousing. 

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