Persephone Emerald Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 16 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: Accusing others of "gatekeeping" is a form of "gaslighting"! Today I learned! Not necessarily. The other person might honestly think someone is gatekeeping. It's only gaslighting if they believe that what they're saying is not true and they still say it to try to control someone else. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 18 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said: - Someone's post may remind me of something in RL that I don't like, something someone else said or did in RL, or something I don't like about myself. Yes, being "triggered" is touch a "touchy" term, some of us even get yelled at for using it. Literal quote, "stop using that word" (only other get to decide who is "triggered", apparently). Peeve: Gatekeeping! But on topic in response to your post: This is indeed a "Peeves" thread 😉 20 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said: - I want to feel validated by people liking and reacting positively toward my posts. If someone responds negatively, I might feel hurt, angry or even spiteful toward them. - I want to think of someone as being a friend or ally on this forum, but when I see them saying something I don't agree with or posting in a way I don't like, now I have mixed feelings or even cognitive dissonance toward them. Yes! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Peeve: When you realize you've probably broken the "Man Code" by asking, "What do Men Friends 'do together' in Second Life?". 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Peeve: I keep tripping over all these bushes in here!! \o/ hehehe 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Just now, Ceka Cianci said: Peeve: I keep tripping over all these bushes in here!! \o/ hehehe Bushes or..shrubberies? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 25 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: When you realize you've probably broken the "Man Code" by asking, "What do Men Friends 'do together' in Second Life?". Omg that reminded me of a funny clip.. lol 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 5 hours ago, Sid Nagy said: As I said, most men are wise enough not to enter these kind of threads. Me included (most of the times). They are potential traps. We recognize them. Some women are wise enough not to engage in those threads either, and if sometimes we (and by "we", I mean "I") do, we (I) back off pretty quickly, because they never end well. Peeve: It's not "you", it's "me". And by "you" I don't mean you, Sid, I mean the yous generally, but by "me" I mean me. 98% of everything and everyone appears to be getting on my t1tt1ies just now, and not in a good way. So many forum threads lately I glance into and think "Nope". 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 2 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said: Some women are wise enough not to engage in those threads either, and if sometimes we (and by "we", I mean "I") do, we (I) back off pretty quickly, because they never end well. Peeve: It's not "you", it's "me". And by "you" I don't mean you, Sid, I mean the yous generally, but by "me" I mean me. 98% of everything and everyone appears to be getting on my t1tt1ies just now, and not in a good way. So many forum threads lately I glance into and think "Nope". I usually try to go in those threads trying to make the OP giggle, then get caught in them , then walk away.. I just need to learn to try and make them giggle and get the hell out of there and stay out.. hehehe 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Persephone Emerald said: Peeve: Forum infighting. I think it's natural for us to feel irritated by other people's posts from time to time. When we feel this, I think we should ask ourselves why we feel irritated. Common reasons for me might be: - I want to feel validated by people liking and reacting positively toward my posts. If someone responds negatively, I might feel hurt, angry or even spiteful toward them. - I want to think of someone as being a friend or ally on this forum, but when I see them saying something I don't agree with or posting in a way I don't like, now I have mixed feelings or even cognitive dissonance toward them. - Someone's post may remind me of something in RL that I don't like, something someone else said or did in RL, or something I don't like about myself. When we feel irritated - whatever the reason - I think it's helpful to first try to figure out why we feel irritated, then figure out what we want to happen, and then figure out what course of action on our part will best help to reach the outcome we'd like. That's generally the question I ask myself just before I add someone else to my ignore list. Sometimes they stay there just temporarily, sometimes a little longer, and usually it takes a while really for someone to be put onto my ignore list. I didn't even have anyone on my ignore list until this year. As Rat said earlier, Peeve: 2023 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 18 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: Omg that reminded me of a funny clip.. lol I loved that series, but I was constantly shouting at the TV, "You want kids with HIM???!!!" What. A. Pig. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said: That's the problem with certain discussions - they can be perceived a certain way even if that is not the intent. It's all in the nature of "men vs. women" discussions, double standards, sexism, etc. Weird! I still honestly don't understand why Gopi's question should be perceived as inviting a "men vs. women" discussion. We were invited to discuss a perceived difference between the way that men and women engage in same-sex socialization in SL. Our responses are by definition built upon observation: the addition of value judgements ("this way is better than that") is entirely gratuitous and counter-productive. We all tend or at least try to socialize in ways that suit us best as individuals: there is no "right" or "wrong" way, except insofar as our approach may or may not work for us as individuals. Even if it is true that men and women tend to socialize with each other or not, there is no merit in abiding by those generalizations simply because one is male or female. Everyone should be encouraged to pursue whatever social strategy works for them. The only real questions here were, are there gendered tendencies that we can discern, and, maybe, why should those tendencies exist? I don't understand why it should be framed as a "battle of the sexes" thing. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Just now, Marigold Devin said: I loved that series, but I was constantly shouting at the TV, "You want kids with HIM???!!!" What. A. Pig. That was Elaine's Puddy after he got married.. hehehehe I just always loved the expressions he made when he said something that he thought made sense.. hehehe 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 22, 2023 Share Posted October 22, 2023 Peeve: Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get me! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 Peeve...predictable people. 🙄 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 15 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said: Seriously? Do you really think I am stupid? JFC. That is a major peeve with me. GTFO with that BS. Yeah, I should log in so I can have more of this kind of bs in my chat boxes. 🙄 You don't have libraries where you live? That stinks. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 13 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said: Peeve...predictable people. 🙄 We does what we cans. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 (edited) Peeve: Y'all may be thinking, "what's with the drama today?" I thought you said you were bored, and that you said the Forums are dead. Edited October 23, 2023 by Love Zhaoying 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 I'm peeved, so, everyone except Scylla, Maddy, Dyna and Quartz can peeve off. The rest have already left. That peeves me even more. Congratulations. If I left someone out, I'm sorry. Don't feel bad though. It's just how ridiculous the whole thing has gotten. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said: Peeve: Y'all may be thinking, "what's with the drama today?" I thought you said you were bored, and that you said the Forums are dead. The drama this weekend seems kind of weird to me, not just on the forum but in RL too. My friend asked me a couple days ago if I was letting people into his house when he's not here, because he thought a dog he's watching was acting weird. That is some top rate paranoia, imo. So now I'm paranoid thinking he might be paranoid, so I asked on a witchy Facebook group if there's some kind of astrological stuff going on now that could be making people feel paranoid. Some of the answers were that Mars is in Scorpio, that we just had a solar eclipse and a lunar eclipse is coming up, and we've been experiencing a meteor shower. (I didn't understand the other astrology stuff some people said.) Maybe it's in the stars then to some extent? Countries at war, paranoia, and petty, little arguments breaking out all over. I'm hiding in my room for the rest of the day. Edited October 23, 2023 by Persephone Emerald To add picture 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said: It's free if you have access to a public library. They have something called books (which don't need a computer or even electricity to read them). They also have digital services such as Libby and Hoopla, which are free and don't require physically going to the library. Wow -- I was actually quite surprised to read such a sarcastic condescending response to a simple peeve statement. FIFY - to make it a bit nicer (yeah, I know - not what you wanted) Edited October 23, 2023 by LittleMe Jewell 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Silent Mistwalker said: I'm peeved, so, everyone except Scylla, Maddy, Dyna and Quartz can peeve off. The rest have already left. That peeves me even more. Congratulations. If I left someone out, I'm sorry. Don't feel bad though. It's just how ridiculous the whole thing has gotten. It doesn't always feel like it, I'm sure. But you have to know that you are a real presence here, Silent. You're part of this little community. And you absolutely are valued. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 9 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said: Wow -- I was actually quite surprised to read such a sarcastic condescending response to a simple peeve statement. FIFY - to make it a bit nicer (yeah, I know - not what you wanted) Maybe we all need a bit of a breather from this place. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 Well, when someone says..."Which brings me to my next peeve. I've never had the opportunity to read Practical Magic and it's not "free to read". that seemed kind of sarcastic to me so a somewhat sarcastic reply was ok. There are a lot of books on Kindle that aren't free to read so I go to the library instead of expecting everything I want to read to be free on a Shopping website. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sequoia Sojourner Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 peeve, feels like it's only safe to post in the what are you watching, reading, listening to threads. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted October 23, 2023 Share Posted October 23, 2023 7 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said: Well, when someone says..."Which brings me to my next peeve. I've never had the opportunity to read Practical Magic and it's not "free to read". that seemed kind of sarcastic to me so a somewhat sarcastic reply was ok. There are a lot of books on Kindle that aren't free to read so I go to the library instead of expecting everything I want to read to be free on a Shopping website. Maybe. It just seems to me we could all be a little gentler with each other right now? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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