I feel guilty for spending money on land and SL in general

[Marianne Little]

I spend about 44 US on land and the same amount on shopping. If I didn't have land, I would spend only half on SL. I do not need land to live in SL.

Do you ever think about this? I know some people spend many hundreds, so I am not comparing myself to them.

Did you sometimes stop having land and use only a sandbox? Or rent some small skybox for 100 L a week? Could you enjoy SL as much after that?

I think I would miss the land.

My economy in RL is not in danger. I pay all my bills. I have saved up over 10 K in the bank, just in case something happens. I tell myself that when I don't waste money in RL, I can give myself this SL treat. An example: If I am out and get thirsty, I do not buy a latte or a bottle of water. If I did not bring water with me, I go thirsty until I am home and can drink tap water.

I feel stupid when I worry about the play money I spend on SL. I think I am in a depressive period and look for things I can blame myself for.

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

I think of it as my entertainment allowance. In RL, people spend money on stuff like movies, hobbies, playing golf, buying booze, getting pedicures, going to sporting events, going to concerts, hanging out at clubs.... all sorts of things that are not necessary for survival, but they are things people enjoy and there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us use our "entertainment allowance" on SL, and there's nothing wrong with that, either. 

I sometimes sell my various parcels (and give up any LHs) just for the fun of having a clean slate and finding new spots to buy, but I do not do it because I think I should do it. What I have done on occasion is drop down a tier level, but that's really more because it starts to feel cluttered when I have too many parcels and find I'm not really visiting some of them. But finding parcels I love, buying and decorating them... this is fun for me, so no, I wouldn't like SL so much if I couldn't do that. I would definitely miss my hobby of playing with land, and would seldom log on, I think. 

I don't feel guilty spending my entertainment money in this way. It keeps me sane.  

[Persephone Emerald]

The only time I haven't had at least one premium account was during my first year in SL and for about 1 year when I became homeless and was then getting back on my feet. Even then, when I had a place to live but not a job yet, I still had enough lindens saved that I could afford to rent in SL. 

I looked at what was then a $95/ month expense as being pretty cheap entertainment for what I get out of SL. Broken down as a monthly and weekly expense, $ 99/ year is $8.25/ month or $ 1.90/ week (plus VAT or state and local taxes).  When I had plenty of lindens saved from my previous stipends, I was able to use that to pay for a premium subscription. When Premium subscriptions used to be offered for a discounted price, I always got at least one just to collect the extra stipend and signing bonus. 

I think that if one either owns mainland or has a Linden Home, then a Premium subscription is very cost effective. The only time I buy linden dollars is when I've wanted to buy a new mesh body, some other large purchase such as land, and just before LL added the extra fees for buying lindens. I stock up when purchases are discounted, then live on my stipend for 2 accounts the rest of the time. 

When I start to feel bored or unhappy in SL I reevaluate what I want to get out of it and change how I use it accordingly. When I was getting back on my feet, I decided I needed a pretty, peaceful place in this virtual world where I could listen to the surf. I got that from a small rental house on a Scottish loch. If I wanted to rez a larger item or build something, I could always go to a sandbox for that. When I was working at my last job and just doing weekend freebie shopping and inventory sorting, I deleted my house on the ground was mostly just standing alone in my skybox. Then I realized I wasn't enjoying SL as much as I used to, so I sold my land and moved to Bellisseria. Now I get the fun of decorating 2 virtual dollhouses and exploring all of Bellisseria. If I want to build something, I've save a LM to a Premium sandbox in my Favorites. I don't need to have my own land to build stuff. 

I think feeling guilty is often built in to us no matter what we do. Like I say sometimes, no matter what I do there are a hundred other things I haven't done. If you're thirsty, you should drink water or juice or tea, because thirst is your body telling you that you need more water. If you stay thirsty for too long, you'll probably feel irritable or sick. You could plan ahead by taking a bottled water or thermos with you. You can fill it with juice or tea or tap water from home, maybe even with some ice cubes in it. 

My point is that there are cost-effective ways to do stuff for ourselves. If we think doing stuff for ourselves is selfish and self-denial is virtuous, then we're really just telling ourselves that we don't deserve to be comfortable or happy.

[Anaiya Ahren]

Well, you could spend 88 US a month on smoking, that'd give you an excuse to feel guilty.

 

It honestly sounds like your budget is well under control to the point of virtue.  You're meeting your obligations, you've got savings for an emergency - you have earned guilt-free enjoyment when you've not just sustained yourself and paid your bills but also have a solid little buffer in the bank (nice work!).

 

I think you must be looking to feel guilty as you say because your "money-behavior" is virtuous, you're not just doing nothing wrong, you're doing everything right.  You don't deserve feelings of guilt over that, actually you deserve to feel proud and to feel empowered by your sensible management of money that affords you an entertainment/self care budget after your bills are paid, especially with that 10k  "rainy day" safety net you've built yourself. 

 

I don't blame people whose income is too small to meet their reasonable needs (including the human need for fun, leisure and self care), but the reality is some people just can't live within the most generous budget, so good money management is a virtue to be admired and you're entitled to feel proud of your efforts on this count.

 

I hope this depressive period passes soon because you don't deserve to feel guilty or stupid, you actually deserve to feel empowered and to enjoy some pride in your good money-management.

 

[animats]

It's cheaper than cable.

[Coffee Pancake]

SL can easily be a primary hobby or entertainment medium. If you weren't doing SL you would be doing something else and spending money on that.

 

[Sammy Huntsman]

I mean I equally spend money on gaming and SL and subscriptions to things like Netflix. It can get costly, but that is what keeps me busy, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. 

[Codex Alpha]

10 hours ago, Marianne Little said:

I spend about 44 US on land and the same amount on shopping. If I didn't have land, I would spend only half on SL. I do not need land to live in SL.

Do you ever think about this? I know some people spend many hundreds, so I am not comparing myself to them.

Did you sometimes stop having land and use only a sandbox? Or rent some small skybox for 100 L a week? Could you enjoy SL as much after that?

I think I would miss the land.

My economy in RL is not in danger. I pay all my bills. I have saved up over 10 K in the bank, just in case something happens. I tell myself that when I don't waste money in RL, I can give myself this SL treat. An example: If I am out and get thirsty, I do not buy a latte or a bottle of water. If I did not bring water with me, I go thirsty until I am home and can drink tap water.

I feel stupid when I worry about the play money I spend on SL. I think I am in a depressive period and look for things I can blame myself for.

I wouldn't presume to tell you whether you should feel guilty or not guilty about ANY action you do in your life.

Usually, the guilty feeling has a basis - and is something for you to figure out why you feel that way.  People can give you reasons why you shouldn't feel that way, and they're saying so to help you feel better - but it doesn't solve the issue.

The guilty feeling is a sign that we should be doing one thing, but we are doing the other - wouldn't matter what the catalyst or trigger to feel that way is.

I've at times in my life been doing something that was a distraction, trying to avoid something I should have been addressing, or something I should have been doing instead, and it may actually have nothing to do with the COST of the thing.

Think about it for a bit, see if you can find out where it's coming from, and deal with it - w/e it is that is nagging at you. Good luck.

[karynmaria]

I never feel guilty for the money I spend here.  I'm an alcoholic and believe me the money I put into SL monthly is way less than I ever put into booze.  I feel more guilt paying for cable which I hardly ever watch anymore.

[Sammy Huntsman]

SL like gaming is a hobby for me. So if I want to enjoy my hobby to the fullest, I will spend money. That is nothing to feel ashamed about. I would be more ashamed if I spent money on that hobby and that hobby closed the next day. Then I would feel jilted of my money. 

[Paul Hexem]

I spend about the same on land now as I used to spend on WoW accounts for a while.

It keeps me busy, so I'm fine with it. The day a new, better MMO comes out, I may need to do some selling. 

[Sammy Huntsman]

8 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

I spend about the same on land now as I used to spend on WoW accounts for a while.

It keeps me busy, so I'm fine with it. The day a new, better MMO comes out, I may need to do some selling. 

Or you could rent out those lands and use half the money to finance that new MMO you want to play. if it does come out. Lol 

 

[Tary Allen]

I understand the guilty part I think.

I have 2 premiums, a bit of mainland and a rental in an island and sometimes I think the same. But I also know that I can downsize whenever I want, and there was a time when I spent more.

It is not a money question, I can pay for that, and honestly, with COVID, most of my free time that was spent in movies, theater, going out to eat  and so on has stopped, so in way it is cheaper . It is a bit of a feeling that I'm spending in something virtual that sometimes nags me, it wasn't like that before, so I shrug and think that 1) I can pay; 2) I have fun with it.

 

Edited June 7, 2022 by Tary Allen
typo

[Coffee Pancake]

To put this in context, I recently spent $40 on an out of print paper back.

[Marianne Little]

Thanks for replies. I know I am depressed now. I had to stop my prescription painkillers in February because of the side effects. Since then I try to think positive and only take the over counter ones. I look for things I "don't deserve because I don't deserve them".

I want a break from SL now. But I am so satisfied about the land I have, only a much bigger plot would be better, lol. Is it ever enough Li? I have not used up the Li, but my mood goes up and down.

I am thinking, if I stop renting now, I will not find anything as good when I want land again.

I don't feel bad about SL only, but about myself in RL. Why didn't I have a company over to install a new roof before the material prices went crazy? Why didn't I throw out and tidy up the attic and just call a contractor before I got chronic pain? I do not want strangers to judge me because of clutter.

I am not like hoarders, but... I have done it the easy way and stuffed what I can in closets and rooms that can be locked.

Edited June 8, 2022 by Marianne Little

[Feorie Frimon]

Hey Marianne! 
 

I think a lot of us feel this way from time to time. I’ve been a resident for almost 13 years - there have been times I have taken a break for many months - almost a year even.

Someone on the forums reminded me that there will always be amazing deals, beautiful land, and epic houses. You can keep paying for them while you have a break if you want, but you can always let them go and discover more amazing beautiful places when you come back and you are ready to do SL again. 
 

A break, perspective, and time usually help me put things back in a range where I’m comfortable paying for them and when I come back, it’s a little like that new experience where you are discovering all the interesting new things the grid has evolved into making. 
 

Hang in there and don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t know your finances, but don’t beat yourself up too bad - you deserve fun things too. ❤️

Edited June 8, 2022 by Feorie Frimon
Typo QUEEN

[Coffee Pancake]

1 hour ago, Marianne Little said:

Thanks for replies. I know I am depressed now. I had to stop my prescription painkillers in February because of the side effects. Since then I try to think positive and only take the over counter ones. I look for things I "don't deserve because I don't deserve them".

That's a rough road.

The only thing you yourself can ever say with any certainty about what you deserve, is that you deserve to be happy. 

If it makes you happy, keep doing that.

Especially if you feel guilty about it. Target the guilt not your own well being and burn it out with self indulgence.

1 hour ago, Marianne Little said:

Why didn't I have a company over to install a new roof before the material prices went crazy? Why didn't I throw out and tidy up the attic and just call a contractor before I got chronic pain?

We can only make the best decisions with the intent and information we have in the moment. We're more than capable of making terrible decisions, eyes wide open, on purpose.

Don't dwell on the ones that didn't work out or the missed opportunities. Hindsight really is 20/20, and it can sod off. To oops is literally what makes us human.

1 hour ago, Marianne Little said:

I do not want strangers to judge me because of clutter.

Other people don't get a say on the amount of "stuff" you can have, especially when those who might judge probably have more "stuff" and more accessible space to stuff it. Don't let other people (especially imaginary ones) define you in any way at all.

I have ADHD. Clutter is a way of life. Just keep going though it one pile at a time, enjoy it and find a new home for the bits that have served their purpose. Don't forget to add more new stuff, because that's fun.

 

My life has bombed back to a suitcase more than once, and as neat and empty as my home looked once I got back on my feet, It wasn't worth it.

 

[LittleMe Jewell]

While I don't typically feel guilty about what I spend in SL -- it is my entertainment budget, after all -- I do know that as inflation increases, my entertainment budget is the first thing I start cutting back on.

[Lyric Demina]

On 6/6/2022 at 9:23 AM, Marianne Little said:

I spend about 44 US on land and the same amount on shopping. If I didn't have land, I would spend only half on SL. I do not need land to live in SL.

Do you ever think about this? I know some people spend many hundreds, so I am not comparing myself to them.

Did you sometimes stop having land and use only a sandbox? Or rent some small skybox for 100 L a week? Could you enjoy SL as much after that?

I think I would miss the land.

My economy in RL is not in danger. I pay all my bills. I have saved up over 10 K in the bank, just in case something happens. I tell myself that when I don't waste money in RL, I can give myself this SL treat. An example: If I am out and get thirsty, I do not buy a latte or a bottle of water. If I did not bring water with me, I go thirsty until I am home and can drink tap water.

I feel stupid when I worry about the play money I spend on SL. I think I am in a depressive period and look for things I can blame myself for.

Depressive periods, in my experience, come and they go; and when they come, they do a lot of damage, and when they go they leave a lot of damage behind.  For what it's worth, if you can convince yourself not to make any major decisions while in a depressive period but just talk about them instead, it would lessen the damage. And also for what it's worth, I personally am EXTREMELY glad you are in SL with some land.  Your mesh tutorial changed my love of SL completely; and your photographs make me very happy ❤️  I have no idea who you are in the world but I am very happy about this little intersection where we've both been for an hour here and there throughout our lives.

[Clara Hollyberry]

9 hours ago, Marianne Little said:

Why didn't I have a company over to install a new roof before the material prices went crazy? Why didn't I throw out and tidy up the attic and just call a contractor before I got chronic pain? I do not want strangers to judge me because of clutter.

Same.  Same same same.  *nods*  You're not the only one.

But, that's life   That's just life.  It's ok to have a Second one that goes more smoothly than the First one, especially where houses and house - inventory are all concerned.

[Feorie Frimon]

6 minutes ago, Blue Hollyberry said:

  It's ok to have a Second one that goes more smoothly than the First one, especially where houses and house - inventory are all concerned.

I love this. ❤️

[Prokofy Neva]

I think this is a feeling to be heeded and it is a good check on excess and ultimately unnecessary and unfulfilling purchases in SL.

[Rufferta]

I consider the cost of three premium alts to be a "vacation" expense.  I used to travel, but my current health situations prohibit that, so Second Life is an inexpensive alternative. 

I spend more money on causes I believe in, but they don't give me the same joy.

 

[belindacarson]

.

Edited June 11, 2022 by belindacarson

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

4 hours ago, belindacarson said:

blunt answer, reworded.

 

@Tommy Linden - why is support not 24/7 as standard despite SL having a user base in every timzeone?

 

and yes my query includes USa holidays.

 

I've just clicked downgrade to basic after ten years+ of premium.

 

I look forward to your explnation SuperTom.

 

With PremiumPlus finally appearing on the horizon, don't you agree we paying customers have a fair right to expect and receive 24/7 customer service, espcially as your jobs page advertises jobs as remore first, so no travelling involved to fulfil what is a BASIC customer requirement.

I'm having trouble figuring out what this has to do with the topic of this thread and Marianne's inquiry here.