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The Sincerest Form of Flattery?


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This happened to a friend on Bellisseria, the neighbor copied the inside and out, even down to selecting the same color options.  Some people exist to be annoying, and the best thing to do is act like you don’t even see them. I would recommend never approaching them. Just keep your decor until you’re bored with it, then redecorate. 

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1 hour ago, Sparkle Bunny said:

Just out of interest, are you the person cloning Cyanide's house, or the one following Bela from place to place? Or both?

I don't know sunnyskyz but they most probably aren't the house decor copier BUT what if they were?  What if I were?  It's not against the Covenant and it's not breaking any rules!  It might be annoying but at the end of the day it's pixel furnishings.  Life is too short for worrying about this type of 💩 

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1 hour ago, yestothis said:

This happened to a friend on Bellisseria, the neighbor copied the inside and out, even down to selecting the same color options.  Some people exist to be annoying, and the best thing to do is act like you don’t even see them. I would recommend never approaching them. Just keep your decor until you’re bored with it, then redecorate. 

See, this is a big reason why I made this post. Before it happened to me, I never contemplated this could be something folks would even want to do. Perhaps it's because the majority of us who frequent this section of the forums are seeking a place to express ourselves through our living spaces. So individuality is important. We all share our finds and creations into the pool of inspiration for our fellow Bellisserians, we borrow from that inspiration pool, but that spirit of self expression still runs strong. Learning that my current situation is something others have experienced is really fascinating.

Sorry your friend dealt with this kind of thing too,. Hopefully it didn't get under their skin too much and didn't continue each time they redecorated. That's going to be the question mark hanging over my head now. If I change things, will they change things to match once again? I'm not ready to test that yet, I really do love what I did there and it still brings me joy regardless.

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20 minutes ago, Fleur Aurelia said:

I don't know sunnyskyz

Of course you don't, they're an extremely obvious empty-profiled alt who showed up purely to defend the copiers on this thread. Which is a shame, because the people being copied explicitly wished to avoid that kind of drama. So, I'm going to withdraw my question, since it's unlikely to be answered honestly and would only cause further drama if it was.

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Sometimes things bother me, but I think I would be able to ignore this. I change style so often, they will have a fast trot keeping up.

And I enjoy to think that the creators got a sale because of that copycat. 😉 But sure, lots of us buy the same anyway. With all the weekend sales, it is even more things to buy.

I like to make my own add-ons and edit stuff too. They can't copy that.

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12 minutes ago, Marianne Little said:

I like to make my own add-ons and edit stuff too. They can't copy that.

Yes, this is definitely the way to go! I dabble in that as well. Add-ons are usually a must-have for me when it comes to Linden homes especially. Even something as simple as a custom built-in. It can really make a space come alive and feel a little less cookie cutter in our cookie cutter neighborhoods. One of the favorite things I ever did in a linden home was a bathroom in a stilt last year. I used a combo of a window seat built-in I purchased and then I created my own custom platforms and panels to go with it. Man, I loved that bathroom... Wasn't too keen on the stilts themselves though so let it go for a chalet. At least I still have the pictures and the memories!

My only issue there is finding that balance of using my prim allowance on the custom renovations vs. the actual decor side of things. I feel like we have all become master object linkers at this point to streeeeeetch our budget as best we can 😂

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On 5/26/2022 at 8:01 AM, Matthieu Quander said:

There's a fine line between taking inspiration from someone's home and blatantly stealing all of their ideas.  Flattering though it may be, no one likes having their individuality stolen, and that's what this is.  I have not had an entire home replicated, but certainly have had many design choices suddenly appear in nearby homes.  It usually pushes me to use more items that people can't simply go buy.  I am not a good enough builder to do that with everything, but it helps that I make my own add-ons and heavily modify many purchases.  I enjoy having things that no one else has, but in a world where a talented person could conceivably build anything, it is impossible to guarantee uniqueness.  

 

This happened to my mom in RL. She was not a professional interior designer, but she could have been. It would drive her a little crazy when her best friend and neighbor would go out and buy the same exact piece of furniture after she saw it at our house. In SL, I won't even rez the same house as my neighbors. Not that I'm at all as gifted as my late mother (or my RL brother who was an interior designer until a massive stroke put an end to his career.)

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There is nothing wrong with how you feel.On the one hand there is ,this is the best house I've ever seen,want mine zactly the same.But on the other that is so freaking creepy and weird,stalkerish.Have you met this neighbor?Like the song,I always feel like there's someone watching me.My heart goes out to you.😯

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11 minutes ago, junique Tigerfish said:

There is nothing wrong with how you feel.On the one hand there is ,this is the best house I've ever seen,want mine zactly the same.But on the other that is so freaking creepy and weird,stalkerish.Have you met this neighbor?Like the song,I always feel like there's someone watching me.My heart goes out to you.😯

I'd be on the lookout for a third hand creeping around someplace.

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On 5/26/2022 at 1:07 PM, Fleur Aurelia said:

Has anyone considered that the person doing the copying could be reading this forum?  

Yes, they've copied BUT they've now been referred to as "weird" and "creepy" amongst other things.  This person might just be hopeless at decorating and in admiration of your skills. I think if I was that bothered by something like this I'd send the person an IM and say I was happy they admired my taste instead of outing them on a forum. No one knows what someone is going though. 

 

I am only referring to the behavior,not to any person.I would never do that.If anyone has ever done this, reading about how it has affected someone might make them change.I always learn new things when I am here,never even thought about doing that. I totally suck at cam sim shopping too.I would have introduced myself and made my intentions clear.Baffles me why tho,there is so much cool stuff here to decorate with.Lol maybe thought the neighborhood theme includes furniture.🙂

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I flattered someone (but did not did directly clone them) at my newest 512 Sakura. I was walking my new neighborhood and saw a person putting down landscaping I liked. I watched for a while, and then went on about my business. Later, when it was mostly finished, I stopped by again.

The person who built it was home. So I IMed him and asked him a few questions about what landscaping kit(s) he used. He invited me to come on to the parcel and have a closer look. He also gave me some helpful suggestions on using the kit (a Skye kit). Then I went home, bought the kit, and began playing with it.

Most of the pieces were too big for my tiny yard, so I had to rip them apart and rearranging pieces and shape it to fit my 512's exterior. But this happened because I was inspired by the work someone else had done in their yard.

My thanks to Gabriel and David for being such good/friendly people, who are more than willing to inspire their neighbors.

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45 minutes ago, Teresa Firelight said:

I flattered someone (but did not did directly clone them) at my newest 512 Sakura. I was walking my new neighborhood and saw a person putting down landscaping I liked. I watched for a while, and then went on about my business. Later, when it was mostly finished, I stopped by again.

The person who built it was home. So I IMed him and asked him a few questions about what landscaping kit(s) he used. He invited me to come on to the parcel and have a closer look. He also gave me some helpful suggestions on using the kit (a Skye kit). Then I went home, bought the kit, and began playing with it.

Most of the pieces were too big for my tiny yard, so I had to rip them apart and rearranging pieces and shape it to fit my 512's exterior. But this happened because I was inspired by the work someone else had done in their yard.

My thanks to Gabriel and David for being such good/friendly people, who are more than willing to inspire their neighbors.

I think this is what sharing means, and it used to be the norm in SL, people would ask where we got that piece of furniture, clothes and so on. I remember places where I rented and we (neighbors) would landscape alike so that the place looked good. 

 

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Posted (edited)
On 5/26/2022 at 2:42 AM, Cyanide Pixie said:

This is admittedly a weird post to make, but I'm not a particularly social person (I'm the solitary decorating/dress up/photos kind of SL weirdo) and I need to get this out of my brain in a space where others might relate.

Whooo boy., here goes...

Has anyone ever encountered a Bellisserian neighbor who copies your decorating? I'm not talking about slightly, I mean placing the exact same items you're using in the exact same places to a point that it is immediately obvious. And in the situations where different furniture pieces are used, they are clearly inspired by the original (in style and placement) and mixed in with those aforementioned identical pieces. I ask because that's what I've got going on in the house behind me and I'm conflicted about it. On one hand, I'm flattered they liked what I did on my property. But on the other hand, it honestly makes me feel a little... uncomfy, I guess you could say? Does that makes any sense? I don't know quite how to put it. 

Any feelings other than flattery are probably completely illogical. I am not an artist having my work stolen and sold. I don't have copyright on a design layout. I am not being harmed or harassed. But making my home feel like my home was something I put a lot of hours and love into, and it felt like a piece of me. It was something I was proud of and it felt very personal. So it's weird to see my neighbor recreate it. Perhaps if they weren't directly behind me it would feel different.

My apologies, I realize I sound like a crazy person. I just needed to type this out and get this off my chest because there is nothing else I can really do about it other than have it silently bother me.

If we default to thinking the best of others and their intentions, then yes - don't worry - it is the "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". They like and admire what you do and how you designed your home, and want to replicate it in their home. Take it as a compliment.

Most people go through an imitation and emulation stage before sprouting out into their own projects as they get their legs.

There's also a lot of responses that "This is creepy and would make me feel uncomfortable" but if  you realize these are just 'feelings' and nothing of any real threat or reality of the situation - then discard such things.

If it is unbearable, then I guess a move is in order. Can't stop people camming and exploring and doing their thing, and there is no such thing or true 'watching' of anyone in a virtual space. If someone wants to cam around my property and watch me stand there looking at a cube or sitting at a desk all power to them. It's part of Second Life and anyone who would declare otherwise you should cam explore their property even harder in response.

Though it's almost impossible for me to copy other people's work, I will most certainly study and deconstruct other people's work, and let it inspire my own work and encourage me to up my game to meet or beat their creation - it is certainly done with the most appreciation, admiration and reverence for their work.

Edited by Codex Alpha
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On 5/26/2022 at 7:42 AM, Bela Tolsen said:

I want to thank you for this topic!

I have a recurrent serial copycat since my first LH, a victorian. It was a surprise to find out that someone copied as you said, every small detail.

I understand that due the house shape, some furniture position makes more sense, also we all have pretty much same furniture/decor items nowadays, but the composition we make and some adaptations reflects our taste and personality. I can see something at your house that I like and go after to buy, but the way I will place at ma house will be "my own way" always.

Also I understand that not everybody have a mind to think for themselves. And they just dont admit.

My personal copycat kept following me. One day I got a new stilt and moved from my previous one. Checking the neighborhood I saw "my house" nearby. Was my copycat striking again.  Same when I got a new newbrooke. There she was building a pool, setting a roof and living room exactly as I did on mine. Its beyond flattering, its pathological love! lol

Getting inspired by someone else is not an issue but when someone copy what you do to the letter and frequently, it is like a thief trying to steal your identity.

So sadly, you are not alone on this, Cyanide... *hugs

 

Well of course emulating someone vs stalking them are two different things. If it is truly the same person and not just because you are so obviously super amazing that people want to copy you , then yes it may be a cause for concern.

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I use the similar trees as one of my neighbours because I liked the idea to have some continuity with the landscaping of people nearby. This neighbour is a few homes away which I think helps with keeping inline with the region look. 

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Posted (edited)
On 5/26/2022 at 12:07 PM, Fleur Aurelia said:

Has anyone considered that the person doing the copying could be reading this forum?  

Yes, they've copied BUT they've now been referred to as "weird" and "creepy" amongst other things.  This person might just be hopeless at decorating and in admiration of your skills. I think if I was that bothered by something like this I'd send the person an IM and say I was happy they admired my taste instead of outing them on a forum. No one knows what someone is going though. 

 

But then she would have to admit that she is 'creepy' camming on her neighbours :D

On 5/26/2022 at 2:16 PM, Fleur Aurelia said:

Goodness sake, first their creepy and now their being suspected of being a copybot!! 

This is wrong. This is another resident who hopefully has no idea their being discussed in such a derogatory way. 

Yeah it gets a bit ridiculous around here sometimes huh? This topic is just exposing all the fearful Paranoid Pattys and Suspicious Sallys... and starts to look a bit concerning on their own accounts, lol

On 5/26/2022 at 4:57 PM, Cyanide Pixie said:

Just checking in to say I inspected multiple pieces throughout the house and they do appear to be legit. So if the neighbor didn't already have all the pieces (I doubt it, they are so varied), the creators who make them at least got some lindens off this whole scenario! ❤️

On 5/26/2022 at 10:02 PM, Cyanide Pixie said:

 I then cammed from room to room, honestly kind of gobsmacked to see exactly how much had been replicated. It is not 100%, but even in situations where they used different furniture it is similar in style to the furniture I used, laid out in the same way, and combined with the exact same pieces I used,.

OMG op lol you are funny. Now you are the creep now hee hee

22 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Nice victim blaming, there.

:D Haha, there is no victim here though :D

On 5/27/2022 at 8:46 AM, Fleur Aurelia said:

I don't know sunnyskyz but they most probably aren't the house decor copier BUT what if they were?  What if I were?  It's not against the Covenant and it's not breaking any rules!  It might be annoying but at the end of the day it's pixel furnishings.  Life is too short for worrying about this type of 💩 

Yes. Some of the responses in this thread point to more issues than the person who just likes how the OP decorated and decided to imitate to some level or another - and shouldn't really be a cause for concern. And the op wouldn't even know unless she was engaging in the same behaviour she and others call 'creepy' camming other houses too lol.

Haha man, the  hypocrisy and just delusion of many here is profound, sometimes entertaining and a lesson in human psychology all in one.

1 hour ago, Tary Allen said:

I think this is what sharing means, and it used to be the norm in SL, people would ask where we got that piece of furniture, clothes and so on. I remember places where I rented and we (neighbors) would landscape alike so that the place looked good.

This is the best attitude to take, and should be practiced in SL, and taken into consideration by many before they post about alleged stalkings, creepy people and victimhood that is so prevalent here.

If it bothers someone so much, then they should just move to another location, or get that 'private' parcel they care so much about - far far away from the rest of SL users so they never have to suffer such 'trauma' again on a virtual platform.

Posts like seen on this topic and some of the responses show there are some issues that the OP and responder are dealing with - and could use their own form of therapy, or at least a countering view that can temper them a bit and get them back on the narrow path back to reality and what matters.

Edited by Codex Alpha
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3 minutes ago, Codex Alpha said:

But then she would have to admit that she is 'creepy' camming on her neighbours :D

Yeah it gets a bit ridiculous around here sometimes huh? This topic is just exposing all the fearful Paranoid Pattys and Suspicious Sallys... and starts to look a bit concerning on their own accounts, lol

Nice victim blaming, there.

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4 hours ago, Tary Allen said:

I think this is what sharing means, and it used to be the norm in SL, people would ask where we got that piece of furniture, clothes and so on. I remember places where I rented and we (neighbors) would landscape alike so that the place looked good.

This is the key; it's the failure of the copiers to communicate with their targets that makes their behaviour come across as weird. If they actually believed that what they were doing was acceptable, it would be very easy to send an IM saying 'hey! I really love what you've done with your place, would you mind if I did the same with mine?' And then it would be easy to say 'I worked hard on my decor so I'd really prefer it if you made some changes, here are some of the links/stores I used for inspiration, have fun!', or 'wow, that's really flattering, that will be L$5000 for the use of my design services, thanks!' or 'yeah, I would mind to be honest, if you find decorating hard perhaps you should hire someone or get a friend to help you out ', or... you get the idea.

But, instead, they're just silently doing the thing and relying on the other person's aversion to conflict / sense of what is socially appropriate / desire not to engage with possible psychos to avoid being challenged. And then, if they do get called on it, they can get all gaslighty and 'what are you making such a fuss about, weirdo, it's only furniture!' or 'nooo, you're stalking meeee by camming MY house lollollol'.

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am I'd troll them by turning my place into an eyesore. It's precisely the kind of passive-aggressive approach their own passive-aggression invites.

 

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I don't think the O.P. - or anyone else for that matter -  finds the camming into houses to look at decor and get ideas as the controversial behavior. No one here has complained about that part so I am not sure why that keeps being brought up. Cam away!

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  • Moles
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Nika Talaj said:

???  Totally puzzled at why my post was deleted.

But OK, message received.  Enough.

I removed it because it didn't make much sense without the context of the post to which you were responding, which I had also removed.

Edited by Quartz Mole
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4 hours ago, Mercedes Avon said:

I don't think the O.P. - or anyone else for that matter -  finds the camming into houses to look at decor and get ideas as the controversial behavior. No one here has complained about that part so I am not sure why that keeps being brought up. Cam away!

Thank you. I don't understand why a few people in the thread think camming around and viewing interior/exterior design choices (or even buying pieces you like and using them as well) is the issue. That's not what this post is about. The post is about replicating an entire neighbor's house down to the smallest decor details. I don't see how I could be hypocritical if I'm not also engaging in the particular behavior being discussed.

I agree with you. Cam away! Get inspired! Make those purchases and enjoy them too! But maybe don't do... this. Whatever this is. Not to this level.

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11 hours ago, Codex Alpha said:

:D Haha, there is no victim here though :D

I was thinking about everything you posted and reflecting on why the neighbor replicating my entire house bothered me. Trying to find, at the core, the reason it felt as uncomfortable as it did. And as silly as it may sound, I realized the word "plagiarism" continued to pop into my head. A part of my reaction to the discovery is definitely that I felt like my hard work and creativity was blatantly ripped off in front of my face without any regard or acknowledgement. It felt violating. Not because they saw it, but because they felt it was okay to take it. You will probably find that laughable, but I'm being honest even at risk of ridicule here so please bear with me...

I'm curious, would your opinion about this situation be different if it was in regards to some other artform outside of design? What if we were talking about written works? Let's say someone writes a story... heck, scratch that... Let's say it's just a blog post. And someone else copies and pastes the blog post and reposts it to their own blog as their own words. Would that be reason to express discontent? Or even if we go back to a more visual form, what about tracing someone's art and passing it off as their own without credit? In both scenarios, let's say there is no monetary profit (or loss of the original's profit). But the work was still replicated without hesitation.

I suppose you could argue that writing or drawing is different than interior/exterior design. Maybe you feel that it takes more skill or more time (although the existence of entire schools dedicated to the study of design might indicate otherwise). But at what point does replicating someone's creation (regardless of medium) become something that can be frowned upon or dissuaded against? Where is the line? Legitimate question. I'm not claiming to be Picasso or Mozart here and have no such delusions. But it was something that I spent many hours creating and poured a lot of myself into, regardless of whether or not it was good. It felt very personal to me and was very rewarding in the end to see it come alive every step of the process. And I think (I might be wrong) that might be a piece of why some could feel the neighbor crossed a line.

It's obviously just a piece, of course. There is another layer to it I haven't quite been unable to unpeel in regards to the proximity of the recreation. No, it has nothing to do with camming. I want people to see and appreciate what I create in Second Life, from my houses to my avatar. But I'm certain I wouldn't feel the same if it was replicated somewhere else on the grid. Perhaps that's just simply because I wouldn't know? Or maybe because when done like this, others will see both our houses and know for a fact one is a copy but not know who created the original? I'm not sure., But having it right next door hits differently, regardless of the reason why.

Just bouncing around thoughts here, having my own internal debate because I find it interesting... Perhaps you're correct, and I am crazy and paranoid and creepy and should seek a therapist.

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