The Sincerest Form of Flattery?

[Cyanide Pixie]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It was nice to wake up and see the discussion this situation sparked!

5 hours ago, Matthieu Quander said:

There's a fine line between taking inspiration from someone's home and blatantly stealing all of their ideas.  Flattering though it may be, no one likes having their individuality stolen, and that's what this is.

Yes, I think it is important for me to reiterate that I'm not speaking of someone taking a few inspirations here and there, but instead they are copying exact room layouts and even duplicating small details like the specific art on the walls (not from sets... pieces sourced from various creators over the years). And this is happening in the front and back yard as well as inside the house.

 

2 hours ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

The person might be a noob just trying to learn. 

Sadly, this is not the case in my situation. Of course one could argue that this could be the first house they are decorating, but the amount of years they've been on SL and the content of their profile would indicate otherwise.

 

2 hours ago, Bela Tolsen said:

I have a recurrent serial copycat since my first LH, a victorian. It was a surprise to find out that someone copied as you said, every small detail.

Holy moly, that sounds like a nightmare! I am so sorry you've been dealing with that. That almost DOES feel like targeted harassment at that point if they are following you around.

 

2 hours ago, Nika Talaj said:

Pro tip to someone who wants to clone someone's decor:  I would do so in a remote location, and just landmark the home I intended to copy.  

THIS! So much this. My big takeaway from all the responses here is that no one minds people taking inspiration off their designs (heck, sometimes we even encourage it!). But virtually copying and pasting your neighbors home is perhaps not the best move.

[Tary Allen]

@Bela Tolsen that is creepy and a bit of a stalker behavior. I would get the hell out of there in a sec.

I think we all get inspired from what others do, I know I do. And yes, not everyone likes to decorate or shop for decor (I know people that hate it, a empty house is a nightmare because they need to fill it and don't like the decoration part). But making a house a exact copy is creepy, there must be personnel taste in there somewhere. 

 

[Cyanide Pixie]

EDIT: I'm an idiot and responded to something directed to another person. Oof.

Edited May 26, 2022 by Cyanide Pixie
I'm not the brightest bulb

[Love Zhaoying]

I expect the Devil, and I mean@Madelaine McMasters, to drive through with a steamroller. Because "flattery".

[Love Zhaoying]

5 minutes ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

EDIT: I'm an idiot and responded to something directed to another person. Oof.

I do it all the time, and when people complain it makes me sad!

[karynmaria]

I'm someone who copies people all the time and not ashamed to admit it and I even find this very creepy. 

[Love Zhaoying]

Hmm, maybe a passive-aggressive neighborly sort of gaslighting? 

[Mercedes Avon]

I get inspiration from other forum members who post their home pictures and from homes I see when I am out exploring. Sometimes I can get stuck and not know where to go with a theme until I see other people's work and get motivation from them. However, I never copy a home from top to bottom, even if I love it. I need to be me and have my own personal stamp on it. We are already living in "cookie cutter" neighborhoods so having some individuality matters to many of us.

With that said, my builds sometimes get copied pretty heavily and most the time I do not mind. Oftentimes, the build is just different enough to make me comfortable with it. I also openly share where I get my things and even freely share pieces and addons I make myself with people who ask. I actually like getting to know people through our mutual love of Belliserria and through sharing of inspiration. I take most of it as flattery. I used a kitchen in one of my houses which resulted in a lot of sales for that creator and the only thing that annoys me about it is that I did not get a commission!

I move and I change up my builds enough that no one could possibly copy everything everywhere.

 

Edited May 26, 2022 by Mercedes Avon
What else! Typos and stuffs.

[Fleur Aurelia]

Has anyone considered that the person doing the copying could be reading this forum?  

Yes, they've copied BUT they've now been referred to as "weird" and "creepy" amongst other things.  This person might just be hopeless at decorating and in admiration of your skills. I think if I was that bothered by something like this I'd send the person an IM and say I was happy they admired my taste instead of outing them on a forum. No one knows what someone is going though. 

 

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

I second the idea to contact the person if it's bothering you, and nicely ask about it. Maybe offer to help them come up with a new design for their home? Some people on SL are really very awkward socially, or they come from a culture different from one's own, and we just don't know this person's situation. If they are doing it for nefarious reasons, you'd figure it out quickly enough during the conversation, I would think. 

Edited May 26, 2022 by Sylvia Tamalyn

[Sparkle Bunny]

19 minutes ago, Fleur Aurelia said:

Has anyone considered that the person doing the copying could be reading this forum? 

This seems unlikely as a) not that many people read the forums and b) there's so much inspo here that, if they were aware of it, copying their neighbor would be deliberately weird and creepy. I'd prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt.

[Cyanide Pixie]

13 minutes ago, Fleur Aurelia said:

Has anyone considered that the person doing the copying could be reading this forum?  

I did consider that possibility, however I decided to keep details vague and not post any pictures or anything of that nature to identify the individual.

 

10 minutes ago, Sylvia Tamalyn said:

I second the idea to contact the person if it's bothering you, and nicely ask about it. Maybe offer to help them come up with a new design for their home? Some people on SL are really very awkward socially, or they come from a culture different from one's own, and we just don't know this person's situation. If they are doing it for nefarious reasons, you'd figure it out quickly enough during the conversation, I would think. 

I considered this briefly as well, but I couldn't think of any possible way to message the person without coming off as confrontational or intrusive. I'm rather socially awkward myself and I fear engaging in any conversation could be a bad time for both of us. Even if I try to phrase things as politely as possible I'm still calling them out and saying, "I see what you did." It just seems incredibly uncomfortable and it might make them feel bad if their intentions were good, or complicate the situation somehow if they are a jerk. But I still wanted to find someone to talk to about how I was feeling and see if others have been dealing with the same issue. Perhaps that was selfish of me, and I apologize,. I just really wanted to get it off my chest. My intention was not to point to anyone specifically and put them on blast.

[Elena Blossom]

1 minute ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

I just really wanted to get it off my chest. My intention was not to point to anyone specifically and put them on blast.

You've been very discrete and haven't named anyone, don't feel you need to apologize 

[Nika Talaj]

11 minutes ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

I considered this briefly as well, but I couldn't think of any possible way to message the person without coming off as confrontational or intrusive. I'm rather socially awkward myself and I fear engaging in any conversation could be a bad time for both of us. 

I agree, I tried but could not think of any way to comfortably broach this with your neighbor.  And I do think it was perfectly OK to discuss it here

ETA:   Forgive this paranoid oldbie, but I have a question about your neighbor's build ....  Have you checked any of their items, particularly the art works and plants, to see if the creator is the same person as on your original pieces?  

Edited May 26, 2022 by Nika Talaj

[Cyanide Pixie]

51 minutes ago, Nika Talaj said:

I ETA:   Forgive this paranoid oldbie, but I have a question about your neighbor's build ....  Have you checked any of their items, particularly the art works and plants, to see if the creator is the same person as on your original pieces?  

Ooh, smart. You're thinking possible copybot? I didn't check that but I can have a looksie when I'm off work.

[Fleur Aurelia]

Goodness sake, first their creepy and now their being suspected of being a copybot!! 

This is wrong. This is another resident who hopefully has no idea their being discussed in such a derogatory way. 

Edited May 26, 2022 by Fleur Aurelia

[Persephone Emerald]

I agree this feels creepy. Imagine if they might also copy your avatar and clothing? sounds like a good beginning to a horror movie.

Personally, I'd contact them, but I make a habit of contacting neighbors with a friendly "Hello. I'm your neighbor. Let me know if you have any problems." Something like that. They don't usually respond back, but I think it makes future communication easier (especially on mainland) for either of us to bring up future problems rather than just stewing about them. In my present Linden Home, I congratulated one new neighbor on the great parcel they got and asked another who was new in SL to IM me if she needed any help. 

Edited May 27, 2022 by Persephone Emerald

[Modulated]

Customer A buys thing for house. Customer B sees things and buys them too, lays them  out in a similar fashion. Customer A has the feels about this and needs to get it off their chest. Seriously?

[Cyanide Pixie]

4 hours ago, Nika Talaj said:

ETA:   Forgive this paranoid oldbie, but I have a question about your neighbor's build ....  Have you checked any of their items, particularly the art works and plants, to see if the creator is the same person as on your original pieces?  

Just checking in to say I inspected multiple pieces throughout the house and they do appear to be legit. So if the neighbor didn't already have all the pieces (I doubt it, they are so varied), the creators who make them at least got some lindens off this whole scenario! ❤️

[JessycaJayne]

15 hours ago, Evangeline Arcadia said:

Just because something doesn't seem logical, doesn't mean it doesn't affect us in an emotional 'irational' way. I think that's quite natural, and normal, (we aren't as humans on the whole logical rational robots).

I get what you mean. You've put part of yourself into your home through the decorating of it, so then to see it copied probably feels a bit like someone is stealing a part of you. But I think you are right to try and see it as flattery. They've obviously admired what you have done enough to want to live in the same environment - that's great I think. Think of it as through through your design you have brough them some joy - that's a good thing.

But also, not everyone has a flair for decorating, putting pieces together that work harmoniously to create a space that feels beautiful and comfortable. So I think sometimes it's also a case of perhaps the person doesn't have that knack and maybe is not happy with their own efforts or doesn't know where to start, so they refer to someone else for inspiration, but it might end up as copying because they don't have that talent to mix in their own style.

Either way, I don't think it's such a terrible thing, but I do nonetheless understand why someone might feel emotionally peeved about it.

Ma'am. Dere is nuffin logical or rational about robots okeee? I haz one simple word to showcase ma point.... SKYNET. 

Thank yew, dat will be all. 

🐹

 

[sunnyskyz]

If the issue is copying, I don't see the problem.  People take ideas from others all the time in SL from decor to avatars to photography.  Even creators use mesh templates at times and we end up with the exact same item being sold in 10 different stores even with the same texture.  Some homes come furnished and some rooms are sold complete ready to set up.  Nothing wrong with it and when I get a question from someone about where I got my shape or an outfit, I'm flattered, not creeped out.  Imitation is flattery unless someone is actually stalking or contacting you and acting in a way that makes you uncomfortable.  

However, If the issue is the person was looking in your home at your things and you feel violated in a way because they were looking in your private space....How would you know that they used the same decor unless you were doing the same thing?  The walls aren't transparent, we have to actively cam into someone elses home to see inside.  If the issue is feeling the person is invasive and creepy because they're camming.  You were doing the same thing.  I find it wrong that instead of asking the person, it was brought here and if that person was only trying to make themselves a nice home with nice decorations that they found beautiful, they're being branded some crazy person.  Judgment is pretty harsh right. 

[diamond Marchant]

Couple things...

1. We are all weirdos on this bus.

2. Seeing an individual item somewhere and  getting one for yourself is something  people do (I do it all the time).

3. Having a neighbor acquire the same items and arranging them the same way is disturbing... that would be displeasing. Possibly creepy too.

4. Some robots are nice, like robot vacs. Data is nice too but he is not technically a robot but  still manufactured.

Edited May 27, 2022 by diamond Marchant

[Cyanide Pixie]

2 hours ago, sunnyskyz said:

However, If the issue is the person was looking in your home at your things and you feel violated in a way because they were looking in your private space....How would you know that they used the same decor unless you were doing the same thing? 

This is a fair question to ask but I think you might be missing a piece of this puzzle.

I have elaborated a few times in this thread, but I need to stress again that the copying is both outside as well as inside. I first noticed they were using the same items outside where there are no walls blocking my line of sight. My first thought was, "Oh, cool, they must have liked what I did there!" Then I saw it wasn't just the one thing. It was multiple. These were not pieces from a set, they are by different creators, and they were placed exactly how I had placed them in the areas I had placed them. I don't know how to express it without a visual, but there is no way that, by random chance, they happened to choose the exact same pieces for their front and back yards and place them in the exact same way I had placed mine. It was at this point that I became curious and cammed in a little to be greeted by a familiar sight in the first room. Again, not a set. Different creators. Even each piece of art I had used was placed in the exact same spot on their walls. I then cammed from room to room, honestly kind of gobsmacked to see exactly how much had been replicated. It is not 100%, but even in situations where they used different furniture it is similar in style to the furniture I used, laid out in the same way, and combined with the exact same pieces I used,.

I don't know how to paint a clearer picture for those who think it was just a piece of inspiration here and there. I realize this might be hard to visualize. But every corner of my property has been replicated to some extent on the neighbors property. This is what makes it so unusual and like nothing I have encountered before in all my years on SL.

[Chloe Bunny]

Fine line to know what is happening although if I wanted to subtly mess with a neighbour so that they had zero comeback, (I could just gaslight them if they approached me), this would be one way of messing with their head or possibly get them to move on. Personally I am having an issue with a neighbour on mainland - keeps moving their sky platform right next to mine. They are not breaking any rules but each time I move my platform for privacy theirs almost immediately moves to be right alongside mine. Not wrong, but unnerving. Each time I try to get away, there it is. 

[Sparkle Bunny]

made the mistake of engaging with the sockpuppet. won't happen again.

Edited May 27, 2022 by Sparkle Bunny
stop. feeding. the trolls.