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The Sincerest Form of Flattery?


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This is admittedly a weird post to make, but I'm not a particularly social person (I'm the solitary decorating/dress up/photos kind of SL weirdo) and I need to get this out of my brain in a space where others might relate.

Whooo boy., here goes...

Has anyone ever encountered a Bellisserian neighbor who copies your decorating? I'm not talking about slightly, I mean placing the exact same items you're using in the exact same places to a point that it is immediately obvious. And in the situations where different furniture pieces are used, they are clearly inspired by the original (in style and placement) and mixed in with those aforementioned identical pieces. I ask because that's what I've got going on in the house behind me and I'm conflicted about it. On one hand, I'm flattered they liked what I did on my property. But on the other hand, it honestly makes me feel a little... uncomfy, I guess you could say? Does that makes any sense? I don't know quite how to put it. 

Any feelings other than flattery are probably completely illogical. I am not an artist having my work stolen and sold. I don't have copyright on a design layout. I am not being harmed or harassed. But making my home feel like my home was something I put a lot of hours and love into, and it felt like a piece of me. It was something I was proud of and it felt very personal. So it's weird to see my neighbor recreate it. Perhaps if they weren't directly behind me it would feel different.

My apologies, I realize I sound like a crazy person. I just needed to type this out and get this off my chest because there is nothing else I can really do about it other than have it silently bother me.

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Posted (edited)

Just because something doesn't seem logical, doesn't mean it doesn't affect us in an emotional 'irational' way. I think that's quite natural, and normal, (we aren't as humans on the whole logical rational robots).

I get what you mean. You've put part of yourself into your home through the decorating of it, so then to see it copied probably feels a bit like someone is stealing a part of you. But I think you are right to try and see it as flattery. They've obviously admired what you have done enough to want to live in the same environment - that's great I think. Think of it as through through your design you have brough them some joy - that's a good thing.

But also, not everyone has a flair for decorating, putting pieces together that work harmoniously to create a space that feels beautiful and comfortable. So I think sometimes it's also a case of perhaps the person doesn't have that knack and maybe is not happy with their own efforts or doesn't know where to start, so they refer to someone else for inspiration, but it might end up as copying because they don't have that talent to mix in their own style.

Either way, I don't think it's such a terrible thing, but I do nonetheless understand why someone might feel emotionally peeved about it.

Edited by Evangeline Arcadia
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I am a solitary decor and photos weirdo too and although no one situated close has done this I often fly about and happen on stuff that looks just like what I've shared publicly but as to who did it originally? I can't tell, I just move on because I know my inspiration ideas are usually from rare external sources. Taking it as a compliment is the only real way to be at ease with it in your case, I come across many people who have absolutely no clue what they actually like and it is easier for them to duplicate something good! :) 

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3 minutes ago, Ziggy Starsmith said:

Take it as a compliment.

Yeah, I know I should. I am aware these feelings are illogical and I hate that I have them. I should just be flattered. I think if they weren't my direct neighbor it wouldn't feel so weird. And also if they didn't do it both inside and outside, and in every room. I'm sure anyone touring the neighborhood has noticed, as it's as though they copy and pasted my lot onto their own and just changed some things here and there based on furniture I used that they didn't have/didn't want to purchase.

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4 minutes ago, Evangeline Arcadia said:

Just because something doesn't seem logical, doesn't mean it doesn't affect us in an emotional 'irational' way. I think that's quite natural, and normal, (we aren't as humans on the whole logical rational robots).

I get what you mean. You've put part of yourself into your home through the decorating of it, so then to see it copied probably feels a bit like someone is stealing a part of you. But I think you are right to try and see it as flattery. They've obviously admired what you have done enough to want to live in the same environment - that's great I think. Think of it as through through your design you have brough them some joy - that's a good thing.

But also, not everyone has a flair for decorating, putting pieces together that work harmoniously to create a space that feels beautiful and comfortable. So I think sometimes it's also a case of perhaps the person doesn't have that knack and maybe is not happy with their own efforts or doesn't know where to start, so they refer to someone else for inspiration, but it might end up as copying because they don't have that talent to mix in their own style.

Either way, I don't think it's such a terrible thing, but I do nonetheless understand why someone might feel emotionally peeved about it.

Thank you for the reassurance that being irrational here can still be understandable. I know I should be just be flattered. I honestly was initially when I first started looking, but the feeling of unease just grew and grew as my camera moved from room to room.

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Perhaps it is touchy because it is next door, and it would not matter if it was another place, far away.

I have looked at images and bought stuff, but not done a 90 or 100% copy. It is isolated pieces of furniture. I have bought some stuff from inspecting in homes and gardens too. I can not remember if I did it next door, I know I did it while exploring.

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5 minutes ago, Chloe Bunny said:

I am a solitary decor and photos weirdo too and although no one situated close has done this I often fly about and happen on stuff that looks just like what I've shared publicly but as to who did it originally? I can't tell, I just move on because I know my inspiration ideas are usually from rare external sources. Taking it as a compliment is the only real way to be at ease with it in your case, I come across many people who have absolutely no clue what they actually like and it is easier for them to duplicate something good! :) 

Yeah, I suppose it might be something that happens a lot. I've just never noticed it before in my 16 years on SL. Not like this at least. But yeah... it's probably the close proximity that made it really stick out and get to me. Glad to know I'm not alone though and others have experienced the "Single White Female" home or two before, hehe ;)

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Just now, Marianne Little said:

Perhaps it is touchy because it is next door, and it would not matter if it was another place, far away.

I have looked at images and bought stuff, but not done a 90 or 100% copy. It is isolated pieces of furniture. I have bought some stuff from inspecting in homes and gardens too. I can not remember if I did it next door, I know I did it while exploring.

Oh, absolutely! I think we all do that. No issues there at all, I think that is completely normal to get little bits of inspiration here and there, or see someone utilize something in a really creative way and use it yourself as a jumping off point.

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Oh, I remember a distinct thing. I saw a fountain with a stone sphere in the Decor thread, and bought it. But it was shared a link to Marketplace also. I have seen this sphere fountain in many gardens later, so it became popular fast.

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No, not like that, and if it was the house next door I would feel not at ease with it too. I don't mind the style copy, is the being watched feeling.

But the occasional piece of furniture or trees yes, it did happen, and, at least the trees or other landscaping  were an improvement.  And I will do the same, if I see something I like I will click an go to the store, maybe I'll buy, maybe not, if I do I'll use it somewhere else.

 

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Posted (edited)

As an art student, and later as an art teacher, one method I experienced in class was reproducing the art work of masters. It's a very good way to learn the basic concepts of art as long as one is very aware that such practices are only for educational purposes and should never be represented as one's own original artwork. I enjoy sharing pictures of my homes here in the forums. I do this fully giving permission for anyone to use my homes as inspiration for their own homes. I invite residents to visit my homes to see what items I've used in my homes. I do this as a way of giving back, because I have learned from so many here in SL. I love exploring SL to see how others have put things together, not just for the beauty of those places, but for lessons in how to arrange things. So yes, take it as a compliment, but go further and take it as a way to give to those around you by offering inspiration and "mini lessons" if you will on how to group and arrange objects here in SL.

Edited by Blush Bravin
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2 hours ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

Has anyone ever encountered a Bellisserian neighbor who copies your decorating? I'm not talking about slightly, I mean placing the exact same items you're using in the exact same places to a point that it is immediately obvious. And in the situations where different furniture pieces are used, they are clearly inspired by the original (in style and placement) and mixed in with those aforementioned identical pieces. I ask because that's what I've got going on in the house behind me and I'm conflicted about it. On one hand, I'm flattered they liked what I did on my property. But on the other hand, it honestly makes me feel a little... uncomfy, I guess you could say? Does that makes any sense? I don't know quite how to put it. 

I do recall someone else recounting the same experience a couple of years ago, so perhaps your current neighbor makes a habit of this as some sort of personal challenge. One positive is that you’re likely to have encouraged them to make a purchase from a creator whose work you admire…

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Posted (edited)

I've seen neighbours duplicating my gardens in some of the Victorian homes I've had. But since it was items I liked, I didn't mind seeing them around. 

Better having that than an ugly prim tree...

Edited by Elena Core
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There's a fine line between taking inspiration from someone's home and blatantly stealing all of their ideas.  Flattering though it may be, no one likes having their individuality stolen, and that's what this is.  I have not had an entire home replicated, but certainly have had many design choices suddenly appear in nearby homes.  It usually pushes me to use more items that people can't simply go buy.  I am not a good enough builder to do that with everything, but it helps that I make my own add-ons and heavily modify many purchases.  I enjoy having things that no one else has, but in a world where a talented person could conceivably build anything, it is impossible to guarantee uniqueness.  

 

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

This is admittedly a weird post to make

Always the best kinds of conversations :) 

When you make space for your weird, you make space for the weird of others and then weirdness finally comes out of the shadows and gets addressed.

Besides my moral support for having weird neighbours, I can add that I renovate CONSTANTLY, trying hard to keep things different and unexpected, honouring SL furniture-creators that I really respect by showcasing their pieces.  So, "Keep'em Guessing" and "Make'em Keep UP" are two kinds of tonics to the feeling that yeah you're being watched.  

Edited by Virtue Demina
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They clearly don't feel they have the skill to design a space on their own, so they saw a home they loved (yours) and wanted to have a nice space like that for themselves. It's a compliment, and although most of us would not copy someone's design that thoroughly (though kind folks like @Blush Bravinfreely share their design details here), I don't think it's all that weird. The person might be a noob just trying to learn. 

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2 hours ago, Elena Core said:

I've seen neighbours duplicating my gardens in some of the Victorian homes I've had. But since it was items I liked, I didn't mind seeing them around. 

Better having that than an ugly prim tree...

I agree! We all have the same stores to buy from and sales and things to go to, so it is inevitable (unless we make something unique) we will see the same stuff in many places. I would rather see the stuff I like again too, rather than the reverse, lol. However, I understand how the OP would think an exact "copying" right next door would be more than a little on the annoying side!

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4 hours ago, Cyanide Pixie said:

Has anyone ever encountered a Bellisserian neighbor who copies your decorating?

I want to thank you for this topic!

I have a recurrent serial copycat since my first LH, a victorian. It was a surprise to find out that someone copied as you said, every small detail.

I understand that due the house shape, some furniture position makes more sense, also we all have pretty much same furniture/decor items nowadays, but the composition we make and some adaptations reflects our taste and personality. I can see something at your house that I like and go after to buy, but the way I will place at ma house will be "my own way" always.

Also I understand that not everybody have a mind to think for themselves. And they just dont admit.

My personal copycat kept following me. One day I got a new stilt and moved from my previous one. Checking the neighborhood I saw "my house" nearby. Was my copycat striking again.  Same when I got a new newbrooke. There she was building a pool, setting a roof and living room exactly as I did on mine. Its beyond flattering, its pathological love! lol

Getting inspired by someone else is not an issue but when someone copy what you do to the letter and frequently, it is like a thief trying to steal your identity.

So sadly, you are not alone on this, Cyanide... *hugs

 

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15 minutes ago, Bela Tolsen said:

My personal copycat kept following me. One day I got a new stilt and moved from my previous one. Checking the neighborhood I saw "my house" nearby. Was my copycat striking again.  Same when I got a new newbrooke. There she was building a pool, setting a roof and living room exactly as I did on mine. Its beyond flattering, its pathological love! lol

Getting inspired by someone else is not an issue but when someone copy what you do to the letter and frequently, it is like a thief trying to steal your identity.

So sadly, you are not alone on this, Cyanide... *hugs

 

OK, that's extremely weird and creepy. I would be so tempted to make my place as ugly as possible -- clashing neon walls, ancient sexbeds with poseballs, fullbright 'art' all over the place -- just to see whether they'd copy that too...

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I would experience this as creepy, for sure.  

I can offer one reason for this behavior which is less creepy, tho.  I had a partner who hated to decorate but really liked moving between Linden Homes, and one time I got a really nice parcel that I was just letting sit, and he asked why I didn't just change the home to a style we had before and recreate a past build that he really liked.  Of course, I had nothing but pictures to go from, but it was pretty quick to do, and he was glad.  I could easily see creating a "library" of nice builds you've admired so that when you move you could be comfortable nearly immediately, without ever having to invent a decor.

Pro tip to someone who wants to clone someone's decor:  I would do so in a remote location, and just landmark the home I intended to copy.  

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While I agree with others that it should be considered flattering, my own sense is that it is kinda creepy. I know that's not a logical thing to say/feel, but I'd know the goosebumps would be up on my skin if that happened. No rational reason, just the oddity of that. Then again, I feel the same way when someone copies my clothing look. I think that's weird too. It is a compliment, but *shudders*.

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We've all been inspired by the work of others, may it be in RL or SL, but the fact it's a copy of your decor and happening right next door to yours makes it creepy to me. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that situation either.

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