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Starting again on SL. Looking for a man to be in an open relationship with.


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  • 2 weeks later...
19 minutes ago, Doris Johnsky said:

I have to ask:

 

What is the point of having a relationship, if you're both going to be screwing anyone you want?  I seems pointless, and they generally lead to both parties upset and hating each other. 

Maybe you view relationships as a way to control the sexual behavior of your partner, rather than solely as a mutually emotionally supportive partnership?

In RL, sexual exclusivity is the norm for many social and biological reasons that are not necessary on a virtual platform.

Knowing the paternity of children? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Reducing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Society's tendency to stigmatize sexual activity by women outside of marriage? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Limited time and money for going on dates or driving to meet people - Not as issue in a virtual world. The risk of sexual assault by men? - Not an issue in a virtual world. If you can have multiple friends in SL then it is also possible to have multiple lovers.

What causes both parties to end up hating each other is more often their deceptions and inconsiderate behavior, not whether or not they jumped on pose balls with some other avatar.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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3 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Maybe you view relationships as a way to control the sexual behavior of your partner, rather than solely as a mutually emotionally supportive partnership?

In RL, sexual exclusivity is the norm for many social and biological reasons that are not necessary on a virtual platform.

Knowing the paternity of children? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Reducing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Society's tendency to stigmatize sexual activity by women outside of marriage? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Limited time and money for going on dates or driving to meet people - Not as issue in a virtual world. The risk of sexual assault by men? - Not an issue in a virtual world. If you can have multiple friends in SL then it is also possible to have multiple lovers.

What causes both parties to end up hating each other is more often their deceptions and inconsiderate behavior, not whether or not they jumped on pose balls with some other avatar.

 

It's not about control. It's about desire.

If I would ever be in a relationship (Which I won't), I would want the person to have genuine burning desire, something that is impossible to have if your F with multiple partners, that's why most of the open relationships end up with:

1- One of the persons breaks up the relationship to pursue another one with one of the lovers.

2- One of the persons gets jealous, which will make that relationship toxic.

3- The relationship is actually a friendship that both of them decided to label it as a relationship.

 

Even though you made good points about RL=/=Virtual, which I do agree that helps the situation, commitment is one of the most important things to have in a relationship, and with a open one it's impossible to a person to be 100% commited to just one.

Edited by IGarrett
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4 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Maybe you view relationships as a way to control the sexual behavior of your partner, rather than solely as a mutually emotionally supportive partnership?

In RL, sexual exclusivity is the norm for many social and biological reasons that are not necessary on a virtual platform.

Knowing the paternity of children? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Reducing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Society's tendency to stigmatize sexual activity by women outside of marriage? - Not an issue in a virtual world. Limited time and money for going on dates or driving to meet people - Not as issue in a virtual world. The risk of sexual assault by men? - Not an issue in a virtual world. If you can have multiple friends in SL then it is also possible to have multiple lovers.

What causes both parties to end up hating each other is more often their deceptions and inconsiderate behavior, not whether or not they jumped on pose balls with some other avatar.

I agree.

I love having emotional/sexual relationships in SL but I am also not interested in being controlled in any way - nor do I want to control anyone else.

A lover always knows that I am available for them, but that I am also interested in having relationships with others.

If they accept me like that, then we can have a great time together in SL.

And I still have friends from over a decade ago who will see I am online, have a chat and invite me for some loving together. It feels very warm and comforting.

Love it!

🙂

 

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When I had a RL boyfriend who also played in SL, I was monogamous. I think he was too. I didn't want to fool around with anyone else and I knew he wouldn't be ok with me doing that. 

When I had a SL boyfriend, I was monogamous with him, but he was still jealous of me talking with a male friend, and I found out later that he was fooling around with another woman whom he was also scamming for money.

Any other time I've fooled around in SL, it's either been with a friend with benefits or with some casual hook-up. The former is best, imo. No jealously. No feeling neglected if the other person isn't around. No feeling guilty if they're in the mood and you aren't or visa versa. Plus you get a friend to chat with when either of you wants to just chat.

Different relationship styles for different people is fine.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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All human interactions are relationships. Some are transient, some are enduring. Some involve sex, some don't. Some involve companionship, some don't. Some have an expectation of exclusivity, some don't. 

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