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4 hours ago, Blake1111Coverdale said:

GUYS BECOME buddies from ***** like that...  where as women and men often become lovers, girlfriends or maybe even married which all started from having that one connection.

I was right there with you up until you made this exclusionary statement. That LGBT+ umbrella is always a stumbling block isn't it. 😪

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5 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

this so true.

I hear 50% from woman population are guy and , the other 50  % are mix of lesbian, straight woman and transgender 

from my calculation, SL population is dominated by  lgbt, and extreme feminist that hate alpha daddy 😜

This is about right

Edited by entity0x
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4 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I was right there with you up until you made this exclusionary statement. That LGBT+ umbrella is always a stumbling block isn't it. 😪

Come on now. Not everything said is deliberately meant to exclude the LGBT+ community. If you read this person profile he is a heterosexual male and states right in his profile that he supports LGBT+ so he wasn't excluding on purpose.  But continue on to play the victim. It works well for you here.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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5 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

Fun fact. Alpha males really don't care what women they are not in relationships with or their beta male friends have to say or the jokes about them that people make if they don't have the guts to say it straight to their face. The other team has just as many jokes about that among others as well too you probably wouldn't want to hear. Just saying. That goes both ways mate. lol🤣

Even funnier fact, did you know that the study that people use for all the "alpha" BS was debunked ages ago.  The same guy that did the study, coining the alpha/beta dynamics,  noticed a critical flaw in his study (the specimens studied were in captivity, duh), and that actually, the hierarchy was amongst family members, meaning, there aren´t alphas or betas, there just older family members and younger ones.

What Im trying to say is, there is no such thing as an alpha or beta, even in the animal kingdom social dynamics are more interesting than that.

Next Chapter:  Queen Bee, ruler or hostage?

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9 hours ago, Blake1111Coverdale said:

Hi Bob Barley,
I agree with the many others who have offered you advice in this thread... but Im going to elaborate a bit on some of what has been said already and then give you
some of my own personal advice from my own experiences SL and RL that can make a difference for you if you take them serious.

1) Do not give up... as Persephone stated above... the girl / boy ratio maybe something like 4 to 1... I personally "guess-timate" 50 to 1, but realistically some of these girls are LGBTQ, or biological female yet currently not interested, some are in relationships of some sort already, and some are here simply to create, build things, indulge in art, relax etc and have no interest in dating.  Despite all of the above I just mentioned, there are still plenty of gals in SL that would like to meet a decent guy for companionship, friendship, romance etc
So don't give up.

2) There are many ways to meet girls if you are sincere about wanting a relationship in SL...  using humor correctly or rescuing her cat from a tree are just two of the many many ways to do it however... some of the very best ways actually are:

A) As a few people above already mentioned... getting involved in groups of mutual interests or hobbies in SL can indeed be a good way to meet new people for friendship , romance or otherwise...no matter what your looking for... opposite sex, same sex or what not.... this is a great place to start.
 
B) Use a good dating agency in SL that has a lot of traffic. The boards there will show the girls pic, and give you a notecard containing a bit she has written about herself. From this you can both determine if you might have some common ground good enough to meet up at "Java Sprockets" for a latte or whatever.

3) KEEP in mind when using either of the above.... that Second life... when used as a dating or relationship simulator... 
   can be a great way to get to know how well you will get along with someone especially long term.
Do not treat women you meet in SL as video game NPC's. There are real hearts, minds and souls behind the digital pixel bodies so I always tell others...
take the SL woman you get involved with seriously and show her the same respect and considerations over time you would show her or any other in RL.
Bottom line, you get what you give.

4) Women in SL, just like women in RL... get "approached" a lot or often by guys... and many of the guys say pretty much the same crap...
"Hi , your avi is pretty....Hi you have a beautiful avi... hey there love that outfit on you where are you from?  Hi ... age/sex/location ?
or even worse than that... Hey girl... nice rack!"  Many guys use all of these and much much worse.
All of these are boring, predictable and turn women off.  Hell! They turn me off ! Blah! Just yuck!  DONT BE THAT GUY.

Another thing that many guys do that annoys women... when you do not know her and are trying to make conversation with her...
do try to work in a flirtation or a sexual innuendo every 10-30 seconds. Many guys do that crap and all it conveys to a woman is that your main interest in trying
to know her.... is to get her into bed!   AGAIN DONT BE THAT GUY. When you do not know a woman or barely know her... dont try to be cute by working in a "clever"
flirtation or sexual innuendo for every subject she talks about. Its annoying and conveys immaturity, as well how much of a pathetic one track mind loser you are.

Honestly for me to give anyone good advice on opening conversations and meeting new people I would have to show you in person... because each scenario or
situation is different, what is being said will differ , yet the base for learning to do a good opening properly is more or less the same foundation.
 
With that said the last thing I will point out... because this post of mine to you is getting way too long is this:
The most important thing in meeting someone you might be compatible with is stumbling upon you both realizing you have a natural connection with each other.
You cant force this. When your in conversation with people It either happens or it doesnt. Good example: your with a group of guys thru work or whatever that you dont know and
one of the guys starts talking about how much he loves Smith & Wesson hand guns and why he thinks they are the best... most of the other guys agree with him verbally but you retort... that though you like and respect the Smith & Wesson... you prefer the Glock much more... and one of the guys agrees with you and backs you up on why the Glock is superior...
when that happens... you usually like and respect that guy that backed you up more because you both realize your like minded... as you both just bonded or made a connection... GUYS BECOME buddies from ***** like that...  where as women and men often become lovers, girlfriends or maybe even married which all started from having that one connection.

Wishing you the best Bob Barley in meeting someone you connect with here in SL.  If you want a little help on best way to make good conversations with women or anyone for that matter... message me and I will show you in more detail.
~Cheers

 

^ THIS. So much this. ^

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22 minutes ago, StarlanderGoods said:

Even funnier fact, did you know that the study that people use for all the "alpha" BS was debunked ages ago.  The same guy that did the study, coining the alpha/beta dynamics,  noticed a critical flaw in his study (the specimens studied were in captivity, duh), and that actually, the hierarchy was amongst family members, meaning, there aren´t alphas or betas, there just older family members and younger ones.

What Im trying to say is, there is no such thing as an alpha or beta, even in the animal kingdom social dynamics are more interesting than that.

Next Chapter:  Queen Bee, ruler or hostage?

The best scientific study about what happens with alpha and beta -ish behaviour will be in the form of a societal collapse, where there is no longer any law or protections afforded anyone by right or otherwise.

Then we all learn how it really works without all the conveniences, comforts and taken-for-granted protections that everyone has right now.

There will very much be alphas, dominants, hiearchies, pecking orders, and things like veganism, feminism and all other isms disappear

You could even watch Bear Grylls "The Island" seasons if you like to watch how humans default to without the conveniences of life distracting them from what really matters.

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8 minutes ago, entity0x said:

The best scientific study about what happens with alpha and beta -ish behaviour will be in the form of a societal collapse, where there is no longer any law or protections afforded anyone by right or otherwise.

Then we all learn how it really works without all the conveniences, comforts and taken-for-granted protections that everyone has right now.

There will very much be alphas, dominants, hiearchies, pecking orders, and things like veganism, feminism and all other isms disappear

You could even watch Bear Grylls "The Island" seasons if you like to watch how humans default to without the conveniences of life distracting them from what really matters.

Well at least we know in a clearer way what kind of freedom you value and aspire to.

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3 minutes ago, entity0x said:

The best scientific study about what happens with alpha and beta -ish behaviour will be in the form of a societal collapse, where there is no longer any law or protections afforded anyone by right or otherwise.

Then we all learn how it really works without all the conveniences, comforts and taken-for-granted protections that everyone has right now.

There will very much be alphas, dominants, hiearchies, pecking orders, and things like veganism, feminism and all other isms disappear

You could even watch Bear Grylls "The Island" seasons if you like to watch how humans default to without the conveniences of life distracting them from what really matters.

Im talking about a real study about the hierarchy of wolves packs, not about a collapse of society.  Still, you could look at pre-history to see what a possible collapse of society would look like, and it wasnt like Conan The Barbarian, it was family groups sticking together, helping eachother, protecting the young, helping the old, trading with other groups, etc.

This is wildly oftopic, so Im not going to continue this tangent.

PS: A reality TV show? That is your example?

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I believe the OP has a chance to improve his situation, but not if he believes these guys who think real heterosexual women in SL are some kind of rare unicorn. There definitely are far more RL women playing in SL than RL men. Why else would there be so many SL stores that cater to women - bodies, heads, skins, hair, clothes etc.? We women (in general) love dressing our Barbie Dolls and looking hot. There are a a few guys who play women in SL, but they're a small minority. And most of the gay guys have male avatars and are not interested in straight men.

Being female and having a female avatar doesn't mean a woman is interested in a romantic or sexual relationship however. And if she's not interested, that doesn't mean she's a lesbian or a guy in RL. She may be married, not interested in SL sex, or just not interested in YOU - especially if your first impression makes you look like a chauvinist jerk or desperate incel.  She might be old enough to be your mother or grandmother. She might have plenty of friends and interests to occupy herself in SL. I think that while many women may be interested in a virtual world romance, in general it's men who are more interested in getting off to cartoon sex. 

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20 minutes ago, entity0x said:

There will very much be alphas, dominants, hiearchies, pecking orders, and things like veganism, feminism and all other isms disappear

Whenever I read statements like this for some reason I can't help hearing those words being said with a tinge of hope, since so often the people saying them are imagining that they will be the ones situated at the top of this new social hierarchy.

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35 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well at least we know in a clearer way what kind of freedom you value and aspire to.

Who's the 'we' you speak for? Are you a spokesperson for a certain group that I am unaware of? Or are you simply self-appointed and like to appear as though you speak for others and not just yourself?

For someone who replies to every post I make, you still haven't read any of them properly - as I have clearly stated what my values were:  The upholding of all human rights, equal opportunity for all, equal responsibility for all, forgiveness, patience, repentance and humility, self-assessment and the development of the Cardinal Virtues in oneself.

31 minutes ago, StarlanderGoods said:

Im talking about a real study about the hierarchy of wolves packs, not about a collapse of society.  Still, you could look at pre-history to see what a possible collapse of society would look like, and it wasnt like Conan The Barbarian, it was family groups sticking together, helping eachother, protecting the young, helping the old, trading with other groups, etc.

This is wildly oftopic, so Im not going to continue this tangent.

PS: A reality TV show? That is your example?

Alpha means 'first' or 'top' or 'strongest' or 'leader', and Beta means 'secondary', 'follower', 'submissive'. It is a universal term that can be applied to many situations, and is found in a very common structure called the Hierarchy - and important concept to understand and recognize as a reality if you want to understand the world and how it works - without the fantastical pretense and fairy tales people say to try to make it otherwise.

19 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

Whenever I read statements like this for some reason I can't help hearing those words being said with a tinge of hope, since so often the people saying them are imagining that they will be the ones situated at the top of this new social hierarchy.

That has more to do with what is going on in your own head, and your own worldview, then what the reality actually is.

If I thought that you would have a genuine conversation and were willing to learn another person's viewpoint to consider I might expand - but I won't because you are clearly more interested in undermining people and insulting people here than having a real conversation about anything.

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45 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I think that while many women may be interested in a virtual world romance, in general it's men who are more interested in getting off to cartoon sex. 

This right here. ^^^

This thread has gone so far off topic I'm guessing it will be another thread that will be closed. Such a shame that a new member of the forum with 3 posts asks for advice and it turns into a tit for tat. 

 

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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4 minutes ago, entity0x said:

That has more to do with what is going on in your own head, and your own worldview, then what the reality actually is.

If I thought that you would have a genuine conversation and were willing to learn another person's viewpoint to consider I might expand - but I won't because you are clearly more interested in undermining people and insulting people here than having a real conversation about anything.

I was merely pointing out that most people advocating for such a shift in societal values consider themselves "alpha males", if that doesn't apply to you and you prefer to see yourself as a "beta" who is eager to be dominated under this new hierarchy that's entirely your business, I'm certainly not judging.

As for me seeking to insult or undermine anyone, I'm just sharing my opinions on the topics brought up on these forums, if my views don't align with someone elses then I'd hardly consider that to be an insult, try not to take differences of opinion so personally?!

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45 minutes ago, entity0x said:

Alpha means 'first' or 'top' or 'strongest' or 'leader', and Beta means 'secondary', 'follower', 'submissive'. It is a universal term that can be applied to many situations, and is found in a very common structure called the Hierarchy - and important concept to understand and recognize as a reality if you want to understand the world and how it works - without the fantastical pretense and fairy tales people say to try to make it otherwise.

Google Dunning-Kruger effect. Because you are pulling stuff out of your posterior at this point, with great confidence.

 

edit: and this time Im really dropping it, you can google if you have doubts, or not.

Edited by StarlanderGoods
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37 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

This right here. ^^^

This thread has gone so far off topic I'm guessing it will be another thread that will be closed. Such a shame that a new member of the forum with 3 posts asks for advice and it turns into a tit for tat. 

 

It doesn't have to be that way, as people can respond to what someone says, and not to them or make assumptions/accusations of their intention..

which of course was the main point I made in response to  your OP:

That there could have been any reason for the encounter she had, that it may have not been as she thought it was, and 'believe me' isn't enough, and especially if it is one of hundreds of posts regarding how each poster is victimized by others on the platform.

When people suggest that a person deal with it with their own agency and tools at their disposal, then the next 300 posts are about people who feel they shouldn't have to do that, that people's behaviours be modified to suit THEM and that everyone needs to be a mind reader and know exactly HOW and WHEN to approach them - when that is an unrealistic expectation and impossible.

The tit for tat happens when people refuse to address someone else's response and instead attack them personally.

If anything, you must respect that I have responded to your points directly, while trying to ensure I don't make or state assumptions about you in the process either.

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26 minutes ago, MonkNine said:

I meet more rl men playing females than rl females playing females. My rl male friend who works as a sl female dancer just has his rl girlfriend get on voice when people ask him to voice verify. He says you only have to get on voice once then they are convinced. Yes what he does is wrong and I am no longer his friend. 

But look at those numbers. Let's say you are right and 50% of female avatars are men rl. I actually think it is higher. But let's look at the 50% number. Let's say 200 rl men play sl and 200 rl women. So 400 total in this example. If 50% of the female avatars are played by rl men and there are 200 actual rl females, that means 100 of the 200 rl men playing sl are playing on female avatars. So the numbers would be, starting with 200 rl men and 200 rl women playing second life, 300 are female avatars and 100 are male avatars.

This is kind of obvious when you look at how much content is available for female avatars compared to male avatars. Most people who make clothes, bodies, hair etc focus on female avatars stuff. Why? There are simply more people playing female avatars. It used to be you go into a mesh head store and there would be 50 female heads and in a corner 5 male heads. Seems like male stuff is increasing a little now days though. My guess is it's because rl women are making male avatars now for fun. Plus maybe more men are playin sl. 

Of course this also depends on what your interests are as to what you encounter. If you play bingo or go to voice chatting places or go to horse or cat auctions you will encounter more rl females on female avatars. If you go to clubs, freebie stores etc you will encounter more rl males on female avatars. 

There's an alternative explanation for clothing content that more than cancels yours...us-women-wear-market.png

https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/women-wear-market

us-mens-wear-market.png

https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/mens-wear-market

That you haven't noticed this 3:1 ratio in favor of women's clothing out in RL suggests you might be a guy. The CAGR estimates for both markets (4.7% for women's wear, 6.3% for men's wear) might also explain why SL men's fashion is catching up.

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4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

There's an alternative explanation for clothing content that more than cancels yours...us-women-wear-market.png

https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/women-wear-market

us-mens-wear-market.png

https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/mens-wear-market

That you haven't noticed this 3:1 ratio in favor of women's clothing out in RL suggests you might be a guy. The CAGR estimates for both markets (4.7% for women's wear, 6.3% for men's wear) might also explain why SL men's fashion is catching up.

This is even the case with baby/children's clothing.  When I was buying for my niece, there were rows and rows of outfits.  When my son was born, their was a small section back in the corner.  It's gotten progressively better over the years but still decidedly tilted toward girls.

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2 hours ago, MonkNine said:

I meet more rl men playing females than rl females playing females. My rl male friend who works as a sl female dancer just has his rl girlfriend get on voice when people ask him to voice verify. He says you only have to get on voice once then they are convinced. Yes what he does is wrong and I am no longer his friend. 

But look at those numbers. Let's say you are right and 50% of female avatars are men rl. I actually think it is higher. But let's look at the 50% number. Let's say 200 rl men play sl and 200 rl women. So 400 total in this example. If 50% of the female avatars are played by rl men and there are 200 actual rl females, that means 100 of the 200 rl men playing sl are playing on female avatars. So the numbers would be, starting with 200 rl men and 200 rl women playing second life, 300 are female avatars and 100 are male avatars.

This is kind of obvious when you look at how much content is available for female avatars compared to male avatars. Most people who make clothes, bodies, hair etc focus on female avatars stuff. Why? There are simply more people playing female avatars. It used to be you go into a mesh head store and there would be 50 female heads and in a corner 5 male heads. Seems like male stuff is increasing a little now days though. My guess is it's because rl women are making male avatars now for fun. Plus maybe more men are playin sl. 

Of course this also depends on what your interests are as to what you encounter. If you play bingo or go to voice chatting places or go to horse or cat auctions you will encounter more rl females on female avatars. If you go to clubs, freebie stores etc you will encounter more rl males on female avatars. 

  yes lol make sense.

i ve been told by people inworld,

MaLe play female becauae they can cretae woman they desire and enjoy those avatar. and ussually ,

they put bi, or lesbian  orientation.

 

there are some that admit they are male. but these are minority.

also remember there are toonophilia.and most toonophillia are male lgbt

 

 

 

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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