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Tired of being single on sl


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Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

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Never Surrender!

I don't think SL is the ideal place to find a relationship.  You should try Match.com or something.   

But,  I don't think you should give up altogether,  if a relationship is what you want.  

 

Edited by Cali Souther
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Since the women in SL outnumber men by at least 4 to 1, I don't think you should give up. You might need to update your profile and avatar though. Women can be affected by first impressions just as much as anyone else, so appearance does matter.  Then just get out there and mingle.

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TBH, your profile is set up more like one that is seeking a hook up rather than a relationship. You intermingle words in-between your interests such as kissing, cuddling. IMO, that would be a flag that someone is expecting that if I spoke with them. I mean if you end up in a relationship those things are kind of a given right?  You also have "talk on voice" which may off put a lot of people, while saying RL is off limits.  To me, if you are taking things to voice you are already taking RL into your SL. I don't even go near people that write that their RL is no one's business.  Just makes it limiting for me.  BUT again this is me and not everyone will feel the same way.

Sometimes I wish there were people in SL that consulted in creating your perfect profile. Similar to what people do with resumes to get that perfect job.  Maybe there are and I just don't know about it.

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45 minutes ago, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

Yes. It's 2022, and Second Life and real life are no longer conducive to approaching women in any way. They have clearly communicated to men that they want to be left alone, and for them to make the decision as to who they deem fit and good enough for them to talk to or approach.

Your bio is fine, nothing wrong with you. Best to immerse yourself in your own personal goals, job or hobby and pursue what makes you happy.

12 minutes ago, StarlanderGoods said:

Dont call them female, not everyone likes it, and it sounds like you are in biology class, try something warmer, like "woman".

Here's just the start of what you will face these days,  making yet more barriers to having any real or possible connections.

 

I will let any further responses to your question OP,  be demonstrative of this fact.

Edited by entity0x
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40 minutes ago, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

You can refer to me as a female, because that's what I am. I miss being called a girl, woman sounds soooooo old. :/ 

No. You shouldn't give up seeking a relationship, if a relationship is what you would like, but it's not compulsory.

Sometimes it's just nice to wander/teleport around, and see what happens naturally.

 

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8 minutes ago, entity0x said:

Here's just the start of what you will face these days,  making yet more barriers to having any real or possible connections.

Oh no, it´s not a barrier at all, it´s just some unsolicited advice. You know, the OP read a bit stiff or inpersonal, so I figured I would contribute my two cents.

Disclaimer: This is not intended to cancel, persecute or victimize you in any way.

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1 minute ago, entity0x said:

Best to immerse yourself in your own personal goals, job or hobby and pursue what makes you happy.

That's pretty good advice in RL or SL.  Pursuing your own interests and goals is fulfilling in and of itself, and you're likely to meet others who shares those interests and with whom you have something in common. 

Just my personal opinion, but I think It takes two people to make a healthy relationship and I've always believed that if you feel you need someone else to complete you then you're better off finding other ways to "complete yourself", otherwise when you do get into a relationship it can cause a lot of problems.

 

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Much like real life, purposefully seeking may not work. You can meet women just doing things you normally do inside SL. That's how all of my relationships got going. I was shopping, exploring sims, hanging out at the beach dancing, goofing off with friends, people watching, etc. and just so happened to meet someone there doing the same thing.

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2 hours ago, StarlanderGoods said:

Dont call them female, not everyone likes it, and it sounds like you are in biology class, try something warmer, like "woman".

notes-note-pad.gif.6f22780de2251e2fb5231f83fd918903.gif

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4 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Yup, us females want to be able to choose our own friends, romantic interests and partners nowadays.

   Pfft, soon you'll want to vote too, I suppose!

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5 hours ago, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

What if you lower your standards?

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Dating in SL is totally a thing, but in my experience looking for something that will translate to RL off the bat is off-putting and kind of a red flag. Few people are looking for something super serious till it happens.

If it's going to happen, it kinda just happens and then you're into the long distance relationship slog. Know plenty of people who have made it work out and crossed over to RL, know more who settled into the LDR phase and stayed there.

That said .. everyone I know who made it work has been under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. I don't know if this makes it easier or harder, smaller population and all that, but personally, I honestly don't know any straight couples that went from here to RL .. although I know a few people who started out thinking they we're straight, fell in love and the rest just ended up being technical details.

 

The best advice I have for anyone looking is community and shared interest. That's been the common starting point of every relationship I know including mine, be it an adult interest like BDSM or type of music or being Furry or whatever. Put the interest first rather than treating it as a means to an end, many of which can lead to following up with those interests in RL.

It's 90% getting out there and making friends, having fun while doing it and being in the right place at the right time.

Edited by Coffee Pancake
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6 hours ago, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

Maybe try your luck with guys haha....only kidding. Please don't mess with some poor guy's heart.

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7 hours ago, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

tbh you have a changes, someone here peek your profile. so good luck .

😆

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ps: put on that alpha aura before in action.

👌

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On 4/19/2022 at 2:47 PM, BobBarley said:

Well, since I'm always single on sl, I might as well give up seeking a relationship. I don't want to give up, but I don't think finding romance with a female, is going to be easy at this point. So my question is, should I just give up?

Never give up!

 

 

 

Edited by SodaGnome
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3 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

That said .. everyone I know who made it work has been under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. I don't know if this makes it easier or harder, smaller population and all that, but personally, I honestly don't know any straight couples that went from here to RL .. although I know a few people who started out thinking they we're straight, fell in love and the rest just ended up being technical details.

 

 

I happen to know 4 couples off the top of my head that met in SL and are now RL couples and they are all straight.  I guess it depends on what umbrella you hang out with the most. 

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18 minutes ago, SodaGnome said:

Have you ever tried playing on a female avatar? 

This actually happened to me today. I was filming for a youtube second life movie I am making and I had logged in a male and female avatar but I was mostly afk as I was working on the movie in my movie software at the same time.  The male and female avatar were just standing in a location afk for no more than 10 minutes. I return to game after 10 minutes and saw this on the female avatar: I GOT 18 IM's FROM STRANGERS wanting to be friends both male and female avatars. But wait there is more! I take a look at my male avatar and he had one IM from a woman stranger cussing him out.  The contrast between the virtual life of my female and my male was stunning lol. The female is loved by all, she has dozens of people wanting to be her friend everywhere she goes. The male, ya, he is hated for no reason lol.

Image107z.png.9b60a9a427a4881602f6e1f15fabebe6.png

 

 

I don't see how playing a female avatar will get someone who is male to meet a woman to have a relationship with.  Agree that they probably get more IM's but truthfully they are getting more IM's because the male avatar typically is looking for a hookup.  But to play a female on the off chance that you get IM'd from a female wanting a relationship with a male seems dishonest right out of the gate.  

I'm actually curious where you were that you got 18 IM's in 10 minutes.  Looks like a sandbox. Maybe I should hang out at those places more often.  Did these IM's happen to say anything other than "hi"?

Besides we don't know why the OP is single because the OP didn't really give much information on that.

 

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8 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

 

I'm actually curious where you were that you got 18 IM's in 10 minutes.  Looks like a sandbox. Maybe I should hang out at those places more often.  Did these IM's happen to say anything other than "hi"

I could be way off but it looks like freebie galaxy or another freebie place.

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Maybe dont call another Person female or male. It makes you look like an Incel right away. and dont fall in love with love. It wont help you. Just try to talk to people and get to know them.

I think some Men on SL have to understand that women get (as shown by SodaGnome) so many IMs each day and NO that doesnt mean women are loved by everyone. Most of the time it means you have to deal with a new stranger and find out if he (or she) is friendly. and many many are not. We all know Moment like this. Many men i have met on SL think that sending Hi and how are you is enough. Its smalltalk deep as a puddle and i ll end up doing emotional labor for them. Still they think that this made them worthy of my time and devotion and they get very angry  sometimes because how dear I ask for more than the bare minimum. Just being friendly and nice doesnt make me fall in love. Being friendly is something you just should be to everyone.

 

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34 minutes ago, SodaGnome said:

Have you ever tried playing on a female avatar? 

This actually happened to me today. I was filming for a youtube second life movie I am making and I had logged in a male and female avatar but I was mostly afk as I was working on the movie in my movie software at the same time.  The male and female avatar were just standing in a location afk for no more than 10 minutes. I return to game after 10 minutes and saw this on the female avatar: I GOT 18 IM's FROM STRANGERS wanting to be friends both male and female avatars. But wait there is more! I take a look at my male avatar and he had one IM from a woman stranger cussing him out.  The contrast between the virtual life of my female and my male was stunning lol. The female is loved by all, she has dozens of people wanting to be her friend everywhere she goes. The male, ya, he is hated for no reason lol. I would point out the same soul is playing both.

Image107z.png.9b60a9a427a4881602f6e1f15fabebe6.png

 

 

I had to laugh at this because this happened to me when I did a make over on a female avatar just standing around. So to kill all that noise I miced up and was like, "Hey boy! Look mighty cute in them jeans!". Lmao!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fun fact though. I did a social experiment a while back with an old alt when I was kicking the idea around of doing a separate Youtube channel for SL for comedic purposes because I keep SL and my actual gaming life separate. Did the profile up and made him a straight up dog. First day I was getting IM'ed much like in that photo if not more. I'm not saying change your nice guy profile. I rather like it actually. I'm just saying that made me question some things about a lot of the women on here. lol Just saying. lol🤣

My best advice is don't go looking for it. Let them find you. Just be yourself and if they don't like it then let them keep it moving. Most of my relationships started because I didn't care if I had one or not. Very rare that I even bothered to pursue someone myself. When I did it was because their personality caught my attention. So I wouldn't give up, but I wouldn't sweat it none either. Best of luck mate.👍😎

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