Why does it matter?

[Velk Kerang]

8 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I've been married 25 years this year.  Not once in 25 years has my husband needed to 'pounce all over someone's behind'.

Marriage is a team effort where neither party feels the need to be alpha over another.  It's not the 50s, ffs.

Well since you want to get all serious with it we can do that too. I been married just as long as you have and it's not a 50's thing. It's a life thing. Yes marriage is a team effort. Men do man shirt and a woman does women shirt. If a man works all day and puts food on the table and clothes on everyone's backs then ya the woman needs to make sure that meal is cooked and them kids are taken care of. And if they want to switch them roles the same rules apply. If they both work then they split that shirt. That's not a 50';s thing. That's a handling your business thing if you expect to stay married for very long thing.👍😎

Edited April 20, 2022 by Velk Kerang
Corrections.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

/me facepalms. Hard.

And again, for good measure.

[Rowan Amore]

2 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

Well since you want to get all serious with it we can do that too. I been married just as long as you have and it's not a 50's thing. It's a life thing. Yes marriage is a team effort. Men do man shirt and a woman does women shirt. If a man works all day and puts food on the table and clothes on everyone's backs then ya the woman needs to make sure that meal is cooked and them kids are taken care of. And if they want to switch them roles the same rules apply. If they both work then they split that shirt. That's not a 50';s thing. That's a handling your business thing if you expect to stay married for very long thing.👍😎

50% of the workforce is women yet we still handle the larger % of household duties.  Team effort?  

Women Still Handle Main Household Tasks in U.S. (gallup.com)

[Silent Mistwalker]

7 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

50% of the workforce is women yet we still handle the larger % of household duties.  Team effort?  

Women Still Handle Main Household Tasks in U.S. (gallup.com)

 

Interesting.

Quote

There is only one task that men and women are equally likely to take the lead on -- paying bills. In 37% of U.S. households, the woman primarily pays the bills, while in 34% of households, the man does.

 

[Rowan Amore]

Just going to add.  My husband has done the grocery shopping and cooking since day one and I clean up.  Gotta love that!

We each play to our strengths.   I'm better at household finances/bill paying.  He takes care of car maintenance, lawn care.  I enjoy doing laundry so I take care of that.  

The point being, there shouldn't be a men do this, women do that mentality.  He enjoys cooking.  I enjoy laundry.  He's better at some things, I'm better at others.  

Still, at the end of the day, I handle more of the day to day grind.

[Velk Kerang]

Just now, Rowan Amore said:

50% of the workforce is women yet we still handle the larger % of household duties.  Team effort?  

Women Still Handle Main Household Tasks in U.S. (gallup.com)

Not in my house and I don't concern myself with 50% of the workforce. They don't pay my bills. I didn't raise 50% of the workforce and I darn sure didn't marry 50% of that workforce. So I don't give two craps about them. We wasn't discussing that. I just simply made a joke off that one comment you made. You coming at me with BS. Like you know how I run my business. So I am letting you know now. Don't come at me with that BS because you have absolutely no idea how I rock and roll my house hold. Have a blessed day.👍😎

[Rowan Amore]

1 minute ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

 

Interesting.

 

I know several women, older than me, who had no idea how to deal with household finances so when their husbands passed, they were lost.  It's something both parties should take part in if only for that reason.

 

[Solar Legion]

To actually answer the titular thread question: Because Ungus Bungus are oh so afwaid of showing interest in "the wrong type" ...

[Rowan Amore]

14 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

If a man

Well, you were speaking in general terms not specifically about you.  My stats were in general terms, also.  

[Luna Bliss]

12 hours ago, Akane Nacht said:

I've lost the thread of this thread but what I really want to know is why is everyone turning into a muppet?

What have you started @Sid Nagy!!?   I had to read a bit to see what happened. When returning to the forum my first thought was that many behaved so badly last night the moderators turned you all into muppets!!    ha

[Silent Mistwalker]

2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I know several women, older than me, who had no idea how to deal with household finances so when their husbands passed, they were lost.  It's something both parties should take part in if only for that reason.

 

Most women from the so called Silent and early (UGH) Boomer generations weren't allowed to handle any finances of any kind. Apparently, we weren't smart enough to be able to do math.

[Luna Bliss]

17 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

17 hours ago, Madison10292018 said:

In a word, anti LGBT bigotry.

Ok, three words but you get the point.

Actually, I think one word would suffice in this instance: Misogyny.  I doubt this guy would've bothered a male avatar in this way.

Hard to sort out, isn't it? (this phenomenon of men who approach women in rude ways, commanding that they go to voice, demanding proof they are women, so common here).  Is it misogyny? Is it homophobia?  Or some kind of combination of the two?  Simply a lack of social skills big time?

One dynamic I still notice in society is that often women are viewed as simply existing for men's pleasure. As one example I'm thinking of the cat-calls -- the whistle, shout, or comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing by -- as if in their mind a woman's existence is only as an object for them to sexually evaluate as she walks down the street. So perhaps these types of crude men merely see women as, well, a piece of meat existing for their pleasure and nothing more.

Of course there must be some who view SL as a place for cybersex only and nothing more, and assume everybody else does too. Still, the lack of empathy and imagination revealing a person's inability to comprehend that other people might have a different perspective, is annoying.

Edited April 20, 2022 by Luna Bliss

[Velk Kerang]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

Well, you were speaking in general terms not specifically about you.  My stats were in general terms, also.  

All right. Well I am sorry then. It sounded like you were having a go at me and to be honest I'm sitting here thinking, "Well fork. What the heck did I do to you?". lol🤣

I was just saying how it should be in terms of running the show equally. Duties should be shared and swapped out accordingly is all.👍😎

[Luna Bliss]

Double post. Flaky router.

Edited April 20, 2022 by Luna Bliss

[Ayashe Ninetails]

5 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

To actually answer the titular thread question: Because Ungus Bungus are oh so afwaid of showing interest in "the wrong type" ...

Yup, and like Qie pointed out in another thread (at least I think it was another thread...), voice chat doesn't even prove anything. Funny that it's still being used as some sort of indicator of anything other than the person you're speaking with has a mic.

[Sid Nagy]

11 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

What have you started @Sid Nagy!!?   I had to read a bit to see what happened. When returning to the forum my first thought was that many behaved so badly last night the moderators turned you all into muppets!!    ha

I guess there is a Muppet in everyone of us, somewhere hidden deep down inside.

[Solar Legion]

Just now, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Yup, and like Qie pointed out in another thread (at least I think it was another thread...), voice chat doesn't even prove anything. Funny that it's still being used as some sort of indicator of anything other than the person you're speaking with has a mic.

Considering I've had people who can see me plain as day, RL, questioning where I fall in their idea of gender at times (thanks to how I tend to dress, general mannerisms, overall presentation (all of which are visual indicators) and my vocal tone) ...

Seriously, people need to stop trying.

If you're looking in Second Life (and/or other, similar spaces) for something Real Life you'd best keep that somewhere that others can see it. Not everyone's here for such. A fair few actually get to know the person presented to them first before prying. Some end up rather surprised in the end, some even end up questioning themselves.

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

3 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I'm a Human Bean!!

[kali Wylder]

I've always thought that what's between the ears is much more important than what's between the legs.

[Solar Legion]

1 minute ago, kali Wylder said:

I've always thought that what's between the ears is much more important than what's between the legs.

THIS!

[Sid Nagy]

16 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

I've always thought that what's between the ears is much more important than what's between the legs.

I totally agree.
Sadly some people only have a cord on that spot, that holds the ears in place, so they don't fall of their heads.

Edited April 20, 2022 by Sid Nagy

[Ayashe Ninetails]

24 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Considering I've had people who can see me plain as day, RL, questioning where I fall in their idea of gender at times (thanks to how I tend to dress, general mannerisms, overall presentation (all of which are visual indicators) and my vocal tone) ...

Seriously, people need to stop trying.

If you're looking in Second Life (and/or other, similar spaces) for something Real Life you'd best keep that somewhere that others can see it. Not everyone's here for such. A fair few actually get to know the person presented to them first before prying. Some end up rather surprised in the end, some even end up questioning themselves.

All so true! Fully agree.

Not to mention I also find the idea of trying to verify who you're speaking with right off the bat so absurd. The assumption that the other person even gives a dip enough to hop on voice with a complete stranger in the first place. Like they're interested in turning off their music or the Netflix show they're watching on a second screen and focusing solely on that person. Like they're just sitting there dying for a distraction. Like they aren't busy in other conversations. Like they feel like struggling to communicate if their primary language is different from the person making the request (or demand, in this case). PFFT. 

If immediately knowing the person behind the screen is someone's most pressing concern, then offline socializing is a much better way to go.

[Codex Alpha]

3 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

All so true! Fully agree.

Not to mention I also find the idea of trying to verify who you're speaking with right off the bat so absurd. The assumption that the other person even gives a dip enough to hop on voice with a complete stranger in the first place. Like they're interested in turning off their music or the Netflix show they're watching on a second screen and focusing solely on that person. Like they're just sitting there dying for a distraction. Like they aren't busy in other conversations. Like they feel like struggling to communicate if their primary language is different from the person making the request (or demand, in this case). PFFT. 

If immediately knowing the person behind the screen is someone's most pressing concern, then offline socializing is a much better way to go.

From what I read about this topic and others, I think people read into things way too much - and usually leaning towards considering it a negative experience. This might be part of their own trauma and mental issues and I hope they can find their way out of it.

For me and others - it just becomes tedious and can even ruin our own experience and view of Second Life and its members - when everyone is so touchy, sensitive or just quick to react when our intentions are good - and THAT aspect should also be treated as a toxic influence on a community - right along with the more obvious toxic behaviours.

Although I don't enjoy this back and forth on these topics with people, if I don't say anything to the contrary, than the majority of posters with this bad attitude paint Second Life as a place filled with harassers, griefers and creeps.

Edited April 20, 2022 by entity0x
hi

[Scylla Rhiadra]

17 minutes ago, entity0x said:

From what I read about this topic and others, I think people read into things way too much - and usually leaning towards considering it a negative experience. This might be part of their own trauma and mental issues and I hope they can find their way out of it.

For me and others - it just becomes tedious and can even ruin our own experience and view of Second Life and its members - when everyone is so touchy, sensitive or just quick to react when our intentions are good.

Although I don't enjoy this back and forth on these topics with people, if I don't say anything to the contrary, than the majority of posters with this bad attitude paint Second Life as a place filled with harassers, griefers and creeps.

Sure, Second Life has its creeps and harassers. And, were I looking for them, I have a pretty good idea of where to find them.

Thing is . . . I'm not looking for them. Instead, I spend 99% of my time in SL enjoying the company of really lovely people whose presence and conversation I cherish. It's much the same here on the forum: there are a very few posters of whom I'm not especially fond, but the vast majority of people here are wonderful. I wouldn't be here if they weren't. So, no, my SL certainly is not "filled with harassers, griefers and creeps."

You, on the other hand, seem to spend an awful lot of your time here on the forum complaining about "attitudes" that you find destructive or unpleasant. Really, there's a great deal here that you don't seem to like very much. I can't help but think that your negative experiences here might be the result of . . . I don't know, trauma or mental issues? Maybe you could try being less sensitive and touchy?

In any case I hope you find your way out of it.

Edited April 20, 2022 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Luna Bliss]

18 minutes ago, entity0x said:

From what I read about this topic and others, I think people read into things way too much - and usually leaning towards considering it a negative experience. This might be part of their own trauma and mental issues and I hope they can find their way out of it.

Stop telling women they are reading too much into something or are responding from trauma or mental issues when they don't like men approaching them and right off the bat ordering them to voice or inquiring about their genitals.
Just Stop!
We have a right to say how we want to be approached, be it in RL or SL, and if you can't develop some social skills don't bother!