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Are you lonely in SL?


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No, not really. I do however find a lot of people in SL expect you to help quench their boredom and loneliness. Which I mean it really irritates me. I am not there just to help you deal with boredom or loneliness. If you want to hang that is fine, but I was always taught to find my own thing to do. 

 

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10 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:
14 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Oh, good! I'd hate to be limited to just other furries or nekos!

Where did you think furries and neko's came from ?

Errr...I'd guess furries come from other furries..

But Neko's come from mixing furries and non-furries! 

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17 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Be yourself - how you see yourself and how you want others to see you - and you will attract people who appreciate you for who you really are.

People are visual creatures, so it helps to look attractive, but this doesn't have to be the standard beauty of TV and Hollywood. 

I'll agree to disagree on this one. I say this as someone who is constantly switching appearances between "cute/hot/pretty" and "not so much" as the mood hits - certain looks (on me anyway) just get zero attention while others do, and I'm good with that as I'm not looking to attract someone in the first place. I don't mean being a furry or changing height or weight or any of that. Most men just don't tend to like borderline undead avatars. 😂 

If I did want to attract attention, I know exactly what I'd have to change for it. Running around as my usual creeptastic self just ain't it, no matter what I have in my profile.

It's kind of the same as when old boyfriends would inch away and move across the room when I swapped genders - sure they knew the real female ME behind the keyboard - some I knew for years and years - but they still couldn't get over the appearance. My bad for ruining the fantasy. 😏 All was fine when I went back to being artificially gorgeous, though. Suddenly they stopped clinging to the chandelier! 😄

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3 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Azu1oaB.png

   The last one is obvious. A felinthromorphic human! 

Edited by Orwar
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4 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

It's kind of the same as when old boyfriends would inch away and move across the room when I swapped genders - sure they knew the real female ME behind the keyboard - some I knew for years and years - but they still couldn't get over the appearance. My bad for ruining the fantasy. 😏 All was fine when I went back to being artificially gorgeous, though. Suddenly they stopped clinging to the chandelier! 😄

Missing out is all I can say.

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21 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

I'll agree to disagree on this one. I say this as someone who is constantly switching appearances between "cute/hot/pretty" and "not so much" as the mood hits - certain looks (on me anyway) just get zero attention while others do, and I'm good with that as I'm not looking to attract someone in the first place. I don't mean being a furry or changing height or weight or any of that. Most men just don't tend to like borderline undead avatars. 😂 

If I did want to attract attention, I know exactly what I'd have to change for it. Running around as my usual creeptastic self just ain't it, no matter what I have in my profile.

It's kind of the same as when old boyfriends would inch away and move across the room when I swapped genders - sure they knew the real female ME behind the keyboard - some I knew for years and years - but they still couldn't get over the appearance. My bad for ruining the fantasy. 😏 All was fine when I went back to being artificially gorgeous, though. Suddenly they stopped clinging to the chandelier! 😄

I don't think we disagree. I think we're just emphasizing different points.

Most people are attracted to realistic and mainstream ideals of beauty. Symmetry and smiling have both been show in college psychology studies to be viewed as more attractive. I think fantasy skins that are close to the natural pink, peach, beige and brown hues of RL humans are more attractive than cool colors - though sci-fi fans might be conditioned to be attracted to green and blue tones and vampire fans might be more attracted to pale tones with red lips. If one wants to attract more people, then create an avatar that looks "normal", but if one wants to attract a specific kind of person, then create an avatar that caters to the tastes of that kind of person. Sometimes it's a quantity vs. quality equation.

I don't make my primary avatar tall and slim, but she is still within the range of what would normally be considered attractive in RL - especially for people who are middle aged or older and who are not attracted to teenagers or 20-something women. 

If I don't feel like attracting people because I'm in a depressed or irritated mood, I may purposely choose to look non-human. I might be an alien, an animal, a paper doll, a monster or a butterfly.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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7 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I don't think we disagree. I think we're just emphasizing different points.

Most people are attracted to realistic and mainstream ideals of beauty. Symmetry and smiling have both been show in college psychology studies to be viewed as more attractive. I think fantasy skins that are close to the natural pink, peach, beige and brown hues of RL humans are more attractive than cool colors - though sci-fi fans might be conditioned to be attracted to green and blue tones and vampire fans might be more attracted to pale tones with red lips. If one wants to attract more people, then create an avatar that looks "normal", but if one wants to attract a specific kind of person, then create an avatar that caters to the tastes of that kind of person. Sometimes it's a quantity vs. quality equation.

I don't make my primary avatar tall and slim, but she is still within the range of what would normally be considered attractive in RL - especially for people who are middle aged or older and who are not attracted to teenagers or 20-something women. 

If I don't feel like attracting people because I'm in a depressed or irritated mood, I may purposely choose to look non-human. I might be an alien, an animal, a paper doll, a monster or a butterfly.

Ooo, now I want to try an experiment. I don't wear my orc enough, and I tend to dress her in elegant formalwear (hey, I like the contrast), so she actually is quite Old Hollywood glamorous. I should run her around the grid for a few days and see what happens with that. I'd guess not much, but I'll do it anyway for funsies. 😄

You're probably right about pinks and natural colors, too. I don't remember getting any IMs on my blues or reds. Monster avies do tend to get ignored, though, unless you're like...a saucy demon or something (and saucy is not the word I'd use to describe mine, lol).

And you're right - we really don't disagree that much. My main point was only that often, being just female isn't enough without being at least somewhat cute. Us monsters are usually on the struggle bus. 😂

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On 6/12/2022 at 5:58 PM, Annie Nova said:

Am I lonely in SL? God, yes. Just like everyone here, I go to clubs, no one IM's me, unless it's "cute avi" and then nothing else. I have IM'd people, struck up a conversation, thought, omgosh, this could be a friend, we friend each other and I never get another IM from them. I'm always the one who starts the conversation with them and it's like pulling teeth to get them to even say more then a sentence. I'm so over all of the crap. Just once, I would love to have someone who will IM me or when I IM them, they continue to want to get to know me. But, I seriously doubt that will happen. LOL. Plus being an introvert doesn't seem to help. *sighs*

Say hi anytime if the whole gender thing doesn't weird you out. I'm up for exploring most activities and chatting.

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12 hours ago, HelenaNavy92 said:

That's good for you. 

Sometimes I'm lonely, sometimes all my friends decide to talk to me and I can't handle the situation, I ignore them more and more, because I changed a lot and I don't feel good with them. Actually I'm searching for someone to spend time with at clubs (EDM mostly), to shop with, to explore or just lay on the beach and talk. No matter male or female, or fury. 

EDM lover. Say hi anytime!

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1 hour ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Ooo, now I want to try an experiment. I don't wear my orc enough, and I tend to dress her in elegant formalwear (hey, I like the contrast), so she actually is quite Old Hollywood glamorous. I should run her around the grid for a few days and see what happens with that. I'd guess not much, but I'll do it anyway for funsies. 😄

I'm not sure we're inworld at the same times, but my boring, human, female avatar will dance with anyone.  Really.  Just ask.  I can't be shocked and I've met some of the funnest and most intelligent people by accepting these dance invitations.  Cinn is my main account.  If she is logged in, I'm open to being social.  Hollywood glam, huh? 

/me checks her inventory 

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9 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

I'm not sure we're inworld at the same times, but my boring, human, female avatar will dance with anyone.  Really.  Just ask.  I can't be shocked and I've met some of the funnest and most intelligent people by accepting these dance invitations.  Cinn is my main account.  If she is logged in, I'm open to being social.  Hollywood glam, huh? 

/me checks her inventory 

Yaaay thanks! These days, I mostly run around in SL when I'm shopping, which is never a good thing, LOL.

And yup! I'm not sure if you saw the photo I posted of her in the main Avatar photo thread ages ago, but I've got a thing now with putting fantasy avatars in evening gowns and formal outfits. Don't even ask. I've somehow resisted doing that with the undead version of myself, but...we'll see how long that holds up.😂 I'll add some new photos of that to the picture threads one of these days.

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On 6/12/2022 at 2:58 PM, Annie Nova said:

Am I lonely in SL? God, yes. Just like everyone here, I go to clubs, no one IM's me, unless it's "cute avi" and then nothing else. I have IM'd people, struck up a conversation, thought, omgosh, this could be a friend, we friend each other and I never get another IM from them. I'm always the one who starts the conversation with them and it's like pulling teeth to get them to even say more then a sentence. I'm so over all of the crap. Just once, I would love to have someone who will IM me or when I IM them, they continue to want to get to know me. But, I seriously doubt that will happen. LOL. Plus being an introvert doesn't seem to help. *sighs*

Precisely.

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3 hours ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Say hi anytime if the whole gender thing doesn't weird you out. I'm up for exploring most activities and chatting.

Gender doesn't bother me at all, once I'm feeling better and get inworld, I'll definitely send you an IM!

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Alone but not lonely, that's where I am these days.  I haven't met anyone new in ages, possibly because I'm not really looking. I'm not on at the same time as most of my old friends unless I stay up late since I jumped from the Pacific time zone to the Eastern.  But when I do feel inclined to socialize, I can still find them. 

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I have fun in SL between my art gallery, and 2 houses in Bellisseria, and between these things I sometimes accept some group TP and go to some event, I have a minimum list of friends, because I never take the first step in that direction, however I always accept those who ask me for friendship. About my avatar that I use 90% of the time, I think it looks kind of rude and corny to most people...lol, I honestly don't care about that, but I never feel alone because I'm extremely observant and perceptive about people, trying to find out the subtext, and the implicit meanings is an exercise that interests me a lot both here in the forums and in conversations around the world. As I am Brazilian and my native language is Portuguese, English is another point that also sometimes makes conversations almost "non-sense" and one more reason to try to discover the true meaning of what is being said. The fact is that for over 15 years SL has been an uninterrupted and pleasurable activity, which occupies a determined and controlled space in my RL activities (which are many) and a fertile field where I learned about other views of the world, and I made some amazing friends.

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