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Are you lonely in SL?


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2 hours ago, xIAm23x said:

In my personal opinion, I find it difficult to find friends because I'm a shy person. I don't go around IM-ing random people. However, I find it even worse going to a public place and trying to start a conversation where people ignores you. Maybe I keep going to wrong locations at the wrong time but I will keep trying from time to time. 

Sometimes after I have finish my photography work, I will be, "What do I do now?". 

I wonder if there are Groups for Photography/Flickr so maybe we can talk about common interest and makes it easier to make new friends :D

Yes, I just checked and there are such groups. But most of them are mostly for service or business purposes. But we can start a conversation and see what happens, as long as the members are active and talkative. 😃

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Are you lonely in SL? --> Yes

 

I try to start contact 95% of my new contacts. It least to 10 conversations. (1 success 9 failures) Most of the time I am feeling that I disturbe then they politely response automatic answer. Then it stop. I feel that there is no reverse motivation in the opposite side. Talking should be both way not only from my side.

 

I think SL changed with the time and people who survive in SL don't want to talk with new people they have all too many friends in their contact list.

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On 6/4/2022 at 4:51 PM, Gabriel Isodo said:

I think SL changed with the time and people who survive in SL don't want to talk with new people they have all too many friends in their contact list.

Not me, (15 years next month) I have very few friends..  I want to talk to people... when I am out and about at events.. But I've stood for hours and not one person responds to the (few) pms I send or no one bothers pm'ing me.. If they do its usually something like this... them- "Great Ava"  me- Well thank you, how kind of you to say so, I like yours as well!.... then dead silence. 

 Then you have the ones, who "Only show friends"  If I did that, I would be alone in SL.

 

 

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1 hour ago, LittleSparrow Skydancer said:

Not me, (15 years next month) I have very few friends..  I want to talk to people... when I am out and about at events.. But I've stood for hours and not one person responds to the (few) pms I send or no one bothers pm'ing me.. If they do its usually something like this... them- "Great Ava"  me- Well thank you, how kind of you to say so, I like yours as well!.... then dead silence. 

 Then you have the ones, who "Only show friends"  If I did that, I would be alone in SL.

 

 

Same here...16 years in SL. In my early years I had a lot of friends. And now only one. 
I don't go to events and clubs anymore. I feel very lonely in a club.
I owned a shop where I sold my photo's for 1 linden, I owned 3 different jazz clubs. No friends left from those years.
They left SL or just disappeared.

I still like SL but the happy times from the past are long gone.

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I have tried a number of SL dating agencies to meet someone for myself in SL.but none of the agencies worked out for me.  There is a few dance clubs and groups in I have tried. I even put what I was looking for in my profile.   A few weeks ago, I was laying around a nude beach in SL.  A woman on the same nude beach IM's me and she said she liked my profile.  We talked and she  was having the same issues meeting someone.  We got dressed and went dancing.  Hit it off.   When you least expect it you will meet someone. 

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1 hour ago, ballparkdogg said:

A woman on the same nude beach IM's me and she said she liked my profile. 

And this is why I always tell people to put something in their profile about themselves.  Give the other person a reason to message you.  I'd much rather have someone talk to me because of something I said in there as opposed to how my avatar looks. 

But please, don't fill it with YouTube links.

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Posted (edited)

Maybe? Then again, I've only been spoken to a handful of times in-world ever in my (active) two years being here. Quite literally I think its only about five. So I've never known anything different honestly.

That doesn't particularly bother me, and I guess that's weird for most folks. I'd love to be in an RP group, or anything similar, but I just don't have the guts to cultivate those connections.

Also I think I'm just flat out too boring lmao.

Loneliness might not be accurate to me, since I'm content to make avatars and sight-see. The thought does float through, all the "what-ifs". Then I go about my little tasks as usual.

I do enjoy my reclusiveness. It's very peaceful.

Edited by cariboustag
Gotta love typos. Never fails.
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On 6/9/2022 at 12:53 PM, ballparkdogg said:

 A few weeks ago, I was laying around a nude beach in SL.  A woman on the same nude beach IM's me and she said she liked my profile.  We talked and she  was having the same issues meeting someone.  We got dressed and went dancing.  Hit it off.   When you least expect it you will meet someone. 

I find that's true in RL too. The best encounters happen when you're not trying. Try too hard and it makes you look desperate, and desperation is not attractive.

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Am I lonely in SL? God, yes. Just like everyone here, I go to clubs, no one IM's me, unless it's "cute avi" and then nothing else. I have IM'd people, struck up a conversation, thought, omgosh, this could be a friend, we friend each other and I never get another IM from them. I'm always the one who starts the conversation with them and it's like pulling teeth to get them to even say more then a sentence. I'm so over all of the crap. Just once, I would love to have someone who will IM me or when I IM them, they continue to want to get to know me. But, I seriously doubt that will happen. LOL. Plus being an introvert doesn't seem to help. *sighs*

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On 6/4/2022 at 2:51 PM, Gabriel Isodo said:

Are you lonely in SL? --> Yes

 

I try to start contact 95% of my new contacts. It least to 10 conversations. (1 success 9 failures) Most of the time I am feeling that I disturbe then they politely response automatic answer. Then it stop. I feel that there is no reverse motivation in the opposite side. Talking should be both way not only from my side.

 

I think SL changed with the time and people who survive in SL don't want to talk with new people they have all too many friends in their contact list.

I don't agree that older avs don't want to talk to new ones.It is probably more likely due to many one sided conversations and ppl there and gone the next day.They have probably experienced it more than the new ones.After a while one might give up on seeking friends.You can only put yourself out there for so long before you give up.We are all human and at the end of the day gets hard to have ones feelings hurt in pursuit of friendship.Try common activities to meet ppl, at least you keep busy with something you enjoy.Bonus is attracting that new person thru common interest.Good luck everyone, don't judge yourself.This is a wonderful world.

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yea I found hard find male friend.

most of them more willng talk with my partner than me lol.

I thought female is easier find one as long you are use good ava since somany avi hunter inworld.

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My latest thing for making new friends is the Northern Operations fishing game. I've been playing it since it started but it's just about now getting popular enough that there are contests held several times a day every day. It's a nice way to spend an hour or an hour-and-a-half hanging out with a few other people doing a shared activity. The contests rarely have cash prizes so they don't attract Linden-seeking bots. Join the group for contest announcements.

The game kit is not cheap (L$500) but you have no ongoing costs, bait is free (unlike 7-Seas) and its not a money-grabbing scam like... er... the other one. The game creator (North Crannock) is super-helpfl and very active in the game. 

Warning - it's addictive. 

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I feel like I have too many friends sometimes, but I'm pretty good at ignoring them so they don't bother me much. 

When I want to be around other people, all I have to do is put on a bikini and hang out at a beach. Eventually some guy will chat me up and want to be friends.  If I don't want to leave home, all I have to do is talk a bit in my groups. This is less effective, but often some random buy will look at my profile and decide he wants to be friends with me. I've had to tell a couple that I already have more friends than I can handle, the rest just sit on my friends list being ignored by me.  

I don't know how it works for guys, but for female avatars we just need to fix up our avatars and fill out our profiles to get plenty of attention from bored, horny guys.

This is where I was hanging out tonight, Dolce Amore beach, which I found by teleporting to a random region square in the sea.

1837055237_DolceAmoreBeach(Adult)_001.thumb.jpg.70abec3c53bbd093eac161f257a05e13.jpg

I invited an actual friend to come hang out with me, but he fell asleep. Then another guy started chatting with me and was relatively charming and pleasant.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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Loneliness update!

I did my first RP scene in a sim. It was about 3 hours of a relatively simple scene, just two characters meeting each other late night at a bar and chatting.

But I did it! And I didn't back out, or crack under social anxiety, or make an excuse to leave before the scene naturally ended, and it was okay. It was tough because I wanted to do all those things, but to be a good scene partner you probably shouldn't. So, I made myself not. The social anxiety to not be rude overrides my social anxiety to want to not interact. Who knew.

And it was actually pretty fun. Felt bad for subjecting that dude to my D-tier writing/character but it was good practice and he didn't seem to mind.

If a local recluse can do it, so can you.

Edited by cariboustag
D-tier writing coming in with the typos.
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That's good for you. 

Sometimes I'm lonely, sometimes all my friends decide to talk to me and I can't handle the situation, I ignore them more and more, because I changed a lot and I don't feel good with them. Actually I'm searching for someone to spend time with at clubs (EDM mostly), to shop with, to explore or just lay on the beach and talk. No matter male or female, or fury. 

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On 6/13/2022 at 3:58 AM, Persephone Emerald said:

I don't know how it works for guys, but for female avatars we just need to fix up our avatars and fill out our profiles to get plenty of attention from bored, horny guys.

Correction, my dear Watson!

Wait, that's not how that goes. Erm, anyhoo - you mean fix up our human female avatars to be classically attractive.

My last IM came as a furry (the deer), and it was just someone letting me know how cute I looked (and to be fair, I did look pretty damn cute that day). 😄

I haven't gotten an IM on my human female in 5eeeever. But ya know...partially shaved head. Head tattoo. It may or may not have a skull on it I'm just sayin. She might have like a dozen or two piercings in her face and ears I'm just saying. Full body tats that may or may not have skulls on them I'm just sayin. Skully face tat at times, too.

Nobody ever IMs me on that one. By mesh standards, she's completely decked out and fixed up. Down to the nails, even. But yeah, zombie-rock chic just ain't a popular look with da boyz. 🤣 It's the one look I can get total peace with, though, so I'm not hating on that.

If you WANT to socialize, though, yeah, don't do that. Just being female isn't enough. Aim for traditionally pretty.

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On 6/12/2022 at 11:58 PM, Annie Nova said:

Am I lonely in SL? God, yes. Just like everyone here, I go to clubs, no one IM's me, unless it's "cute avi" and then nothing else.

   Trying to find friends through clubbing is like going to an optician for dental care. The clubbing 'culture' in SL is heavily inclined towards hook-ups, people being AFK to use the club stream as a radio, people farming raffles/sploders for shopping money, and doing troupe dancing to flash their (usually over-sexualised without an ounce of actually looking any nice) avies.

   Go play a few board games or join any HUD gaming community (SML, BeYou, etc), and you'll likely make a fair few friends in no time.

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You are better off alone compared to what most on SL have to offer. It isn't good out there.

I gave up and retreated into my own world on SL and having a great time. No drama. No dealing with other people's issues. You also get a lot done!! Each time I do meet someone that seems different within a week they remind me that alone is better. Only been proven wrong once and I was with that person for over 4 years till it, sadly, ended.

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5 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Correction, my dear Watson!

Wait, that's not how that goes. Erm, anyhoo - you mean fix up our human female avatars to be classically attractive.

My last IM came as a furry (the deer), and it was just someone letting me know how cute I looked (and to be fair, I did look pretty damn cute that day). 😄

I haven't gotten an IM on my human female in 5eeeever. But ya know...partially shaved head. Head tattoo. It may or may not have a skull on it I'm just sayin. She might have like a dozen or two piercings in her face and ears I'm just saying. Full body tats that may or may not have skulls on them I'm just sayin. Skully face tat at times, too.

Nobody ever IMs me on that one. By mesh standards, she's completely decked out and fixed up. Down to the nails, even. But yeah, zombie-rock chic just ain't a popular look with da boyz. 🤣 It's the one look I can get total peace with, though, so I'm not hating on that.

If you WANT to socialize, though, yeah, don't do that. Just being female isn't enough. Aim for traditionally pretty.

I didn't say your avatar has to be human or classically attractive. It's more important to represent how you want to be seen and to attract people who like that view of yourself. My avatar is not a Barbie doll, because I don't want to attract Ken dolls. My avatar is a little heavy, but still attractive and natural-looking. A person's mind and ability to express themself is important to me, so I write up a profile that attracts people who appreciate that in me as well.

If one wants to attract human avatars, be a human avatar. If one wants to attract furry avatars, be a furry avatar. If one wants to attract people who can write in full sentences, show in your profile that you can write in full sentences. Be yourself - how you see yourself and how you want others to see you - and you will attract people who appreciate you for who you really are.

People are visual creatures, so it helps to look attractive, but this doesn't have to be the standard beauty of TV and Hollywood. 

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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