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Is there something about the way I talk that turns people off?


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I've noticed that this happens sometimes when I voice (which is not often, anyway) but I don't know if it also applies to my typed messages as well.

People would say my voice sounds weird for some reason whenever I do voice. Just today, I apparently scared off a person while I was on voice. I was taking with three people and I said a stupid joke/comment about "cutting me up, cooking, and then eating me" because I was currently wearing a potato avatar. I don't know if it was because of the joke (okay I admit it was lame) or because of my voice, but one of the people left and then there was a brief silence after I made the comment. The other two also teleported away (perhaps to their friend who left earlier) soon after.

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1 minute ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Never heard you talk ... so wouldn't know (i doubt it's that, seriously)

Having an avatar that's beyond the locally accepted social norm will result in the behavior you describe though. 

I suppose, but I was in a "fun" region. Avis of all kinds congregate there. But maybe you're right.

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45 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Is there something about the way I talk that turns people off?

ehm.. .. i think there aren't a lot of people on the forums that ever met you inworld for a chat, so i think you ask at the wrong place.. ask your fellow chatters.( if they stay long enough)

I can't imagine your potato has a lot to do with it.
But if you chat as you post your threads here i can imagine some people don't feel a lot of connection and tp out.
 

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I don't like anyone's voice in SL. When I see avatars and read their conversation on chat, it just feels right. As soon as avatars start talking, it sucks. Immersion lost. End of story. Log off.

I went into Meta the other day and it was filled with avatars talking. It sucks. I haven't tried VR Chat but I will probably also be disappointed.

All that said, I talk to people at work all the time but we either look at real faces or use only voice as if we were on the phone together. I've also worked in telephone support and talked to people for eight hours straight. These people all had very different speaking mannerisms and voices. No problems. 

I think it may be a combination of the uncanny valley that forms between avatars and their voice coupled with the fact that when people make idle conversation with strangers they speak differently. 

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11 minutes ago, Bree Giffen said:

I don't like anyone's voice in SL. When I see avatars and read their conversation on chat, it just feels right. As soon as avatars start talking, it sucks. Immersion lost. End of story. Log off.

I went into Meta the other day and it was filled with avatars talking. It sucks. I haven't tried VR Chat but I will probably also be disappointed.

All that said, I talk to people at work all the time but we either look at real faces or use only voice as if we were on the phone together. I've also worked in telephone support and talked to people for eight hours straight. These people all had very different speaking mannerisms and voices. No problems. 

I think it may be a combination of the uncanny valley that forms between avatars and their voice coupled with the fact that when people make idle conversation with strangers they speak differently. 

Hmm...you may be right, especially your last line. That could be why the person felt awkward (if that was what she was feeling.)

I'd say everyone in this topic so far made a good point, too.

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9 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

People would say my voice sounds weird for some reason whenever I do voice. Just today, I apparently scared off a person while I was on voice.

Well let's reverse this -- what if you come across someone and experience their voice as "weird". Does that mean their voice is truly weird because you think so, or does it mean that it might be only you or a few others who think it's weird?  In other words, truth is relative. It seems you are giving others the power to define you almost totally. Sure, it's beneficial to take feedback from others into consideration, but it seems to me you are giving them too much authority over you.

But what if we could take your voice and in a test compare it to thousands of others, and discovered your voice was unusual or different from the norm?  It would simply be different and not bad because it differs from the norm. Unfortunately too many people in the world actually think different is bad and even seek to get rid of those who are different, or at the very least take great strides to punish them for their difference.   What do you think -- do you think 'different' is bad?

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48 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well let's reverse this -- what if you come across someone and experience their voice as "weird". Does that mean their voice is truly weird because you think so, or does it mean that it might be only you or a few others who think it's weird?  In other words, truth is relative. It seems you are giving others the power to define you almost totally. Sure, it's beneficial to take feedback from others into consideration, but it seems to me you are giving them too much authority over you.

But what if we could take your voice and in a test compare it to thousands of others, and discovered your voice was unusual or different from the norm?  It would simply be different and not bad because it differs from the norm. Unfortunately too many people in the world actually think different is bad and even seek to get rid of those who are different, or at the very least take great strides to punish them for their difference.   What do you think -- do you think 'different' is bad?

Ah, I see what you mean. Maybe I'm putting too much stock into what other people think of me.

I don't think different is bad as long as it doesn't harm other people, I guess.

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46 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Ah, I see what you mean. Maybe I'm putting too much stock into what other people think of me.

Yep.

From the way you told the story, it sounds like these were random people in the sim you were chatting in via voice? Well, their opinions matter very little in the overall scheme of things, IMO. Jokes can land wrong, especially when mingling with a bunch of strangers. Don't worry about it so much. That type of thing has happened to most of us, if not all of us, at some point in our lives! The goofy inside jokes I make in the company of super close friends would make eyebrows raise in a room full of people I don't know, I'm sure. And not everyone appreciates random acts of twerking and dancing, which I'm kind of known for (among other shenanigans), so I'm usually hyper aware of who's around before I crank the booty bass and activate my anims.

Usually. 

you-nasty-mischievous-smile.gif

 

Just do your thing and surround yourself with people who appreciate your quirky potato humor! 🥔

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3 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Ah, I see what you mean. Maybe I'm putting too much stock into what other people think of me.

Yes, but I know that's difficult if you haven't had the opportunity to really connect with others.
I'm afraid its one of those paradoxes in life -- it helps not to care too much what others think of us and have the ability to affirm oneself despite what others think, yet nobody would feel okay about themselves and have a healthy identity if they had never been liked by others.

So along with affirming yourself more when interacting with others, I'd try to find places where you would genuinely be accepted for who you are. Sometimes they're not easy to find, but I'm a strong believer in there being places and other people for everybody.  I like @Ayashe Ninetailssuggestion of seeking out others who enjoy your quirky potato humor!

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Honestly while it's not a terrible joke it is the kind of thing that can make people feel awkward if they've only just met you. While a potato avatar isn't the weirdest thing one might see in SL most people (in general) are put off when someone is wearing a strange avatar and making weird jokes about cannibalism. I wouldn't take it personally. You just kind of have to expect that if you're being really strange not everyone is going to groove to it. Speaking as someone who often wears silly avatars and makes silly jokes (and writes silly poems on the spot, sometimes) as long as you're not being an ***** or saying creepy/sexual things in order to make people uncomfortable on purpose you're fine. Keep on doing that thing you do and you'll eventually find people who you'll fit in with. 

Personally about the only thing that keeps me from talking to other's on voice is when they're ignoring people in chat. As long as you're doing your best to be kind and not ignoring people you're golden (fried). 

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3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Are you eating when you are on voice.. Like carrots or something?

That always had me getting out of there..  That or someone sounding like they stuck the mic right under a nostril.. hehehe

So much this 👆 lol 

If someone is eating while on voice, I’m outta there haha. 

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1 hour ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Are you eating when you are on voice.. Like carrots or something?

That always had me getting out of there..  That or someone sounding like they stuck the mic right under a nostril.. hehehe

Nope, I don't eat while I'm on the computer.

If anything, I do have a habit of talking fast.

Also, thanks to everyone who responded since I last posted!

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On 4/2/2022 at 2:30 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I've noticed that this happens sometimes when I voice (which is not often, anyway) but I don't know if it also applies to my typed messages as well.

People would say my voice sounds weird for some reason whenever I do voice. Just today, I apparently scared off a person while I was on voice. I was taking with three people and I said a stupid joke/comment about "cutting me up, cooking, and then eating me" because I was currently wearing a potato avatar. I don't know if it was because of the joke (okay I admit it was lame) or because of my voice, but one of the people left and then there was a brief silence after I made the comment. The other two also teleported away (perhaps to their friend who left earlier) soon after.

remember , some people see SL is not a game.

it means , I f you are potato,

they treat you as potato.

and talking potato is weird, especially if you ask them to eat you.

so from now on if you are potato

you must accept been treated as a potato

I did hear some people do canniblalsm rp here

are you ?

 

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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Well I often make silly comments or jokes about myself if I'm wearing a funny avatar. Like when I'm a tree avatar and they ask me how I'm doing I say "I was fine until a big wind came up earlier and blew off a lot of my leaves".

However, I don't have to worry about them leaving because usually they are customers asking for a design for their land and so they are trapped there with my silliness until we come to an agreement...   :)

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Most of us have wondered at one time or another >>>   is it me?   

In the end,  all we can be is who we are - some will like it - some may not.  

 

I'd love to see you in your potato avatar!  :)

Edited by Cali Souther
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15 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Nope, I don't eat while I'm on the computer.

If anything, I do have a habit of talking fast.

Also, thanks to everyone who responded since I last posted!

Interesting you mentioning that as earlier today it came to mind as I my manager at work is a very fast talker and I have a terrible time understanding and absorbing what she is saying. I usually prefer texting with her as that is just easier then begging pardon or even just outright having to ask her to slow down when she is giving me instructions about some aspect of the job. She would not be someone I would interact with socially simply because of my inability to follow what she is saying.

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On 4/1/2022 at 11:30 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I've noticed that this happens sometimes when I voice (which is not often, anyway) but I don't know if it also applies to my typed messages as well.

People would say my voice sounds weird for some reason whenever I do voice. Just today, I apparently scared off a person while I was on voice. I was taking with three people and I said a stupid joke/comment about "cutting me up, cooking, and then eating me" because I was currently wearing a potato avatar. I don't know if it was because of the joke (okay I admit it was lame) or because of my voice, but one of the people left and then there was a brief silence after I made the comment. The other two also teleported away (perhaps to their friend who left earlier) soon after.

Trust me, it's probably not you. With people these days, it could literally be ANYTHING that triggers them. It's acceptable to be offended, and some strange license to rage on someone else for a perceived slight or insult or offence, and 'cringe' is a word loosely used these days, and people get 'creeped' out for any sort of reason as well.

When I'm reading a local comment section for my city and there's women saying "A man approached me in the grocery store and asked me to go out for coffee, and it creeps me out", you know the world's changed...

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On 4/2/2022 at 10:56 AM, Bree Giffen said:

 

I went into Meta the other day and it was filled with avatars talking. It sucks. I haven't tried VR Chat but I will probably also be disappointed.

 

Is Meta up and running? I thought it was just the name FB changed too

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