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16 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

You recently thanked another poster for quoting you as an example of prejudice against men. Though I’m not sure you exhibit that particular prejudice, thanking someone for insulting you could be read as a sign of masochism. I don’t think that’s the case either, so I’m left to wonder just how well you understand things.

I was taught one approach is to thank people when insulted. If their insult bears truth it's helpful. If not, it shouldn't bother you!

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On 5/12/2022 at 6:35 PM, StarlanderGoods said:

I dont get the whole D/s stuff, it seems to have so many rules and such set, predetermined roles. It would suck  drain  take all the fun out of it for me.

I think all relationships have rules and roles. The trick is in recognizing and discussing them. D/s folks seem to enjoy that, and potentially avoid breaking them as a result.

It took years for my ex-hubby and I to recognize our mutual annoyance over figuring out what to have for dinner every evening. We finally discussed it and decided that “who cooks, chooses”. It took a little while to fully adopt that idea. We knew each other’s tastes, but had to develop the confidence that we could proceed without asking. The end result was the elimination of a minor annoyance in our relationship and the arrival of a bit of serendipity in our dinners, as each of us was freed to follow whims.

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9 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I was taught one approach is to thank people when insulted. If their insult bears truth it's helpful. If not, it shouldn't bother you!

I see the wisdom in that, but I’m usually long winded in my thanks, and endeavor not to re-earn the criticism.

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1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

We finally discussed it and decided that “who cooks, chooses”.

"Mom's rules!" 
I suppose one caveat is, unless you're cooking for someone with an unreasonable palate (a child, for instance), it may be inconsiderate to cook something you know the other person doesn't like.

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3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

"Mom's rules!" 
I suppose one caveat is, unless you're cooking for someone with an unreasonable palate (a child, for instance), it may be inconsiderate to cook something you know the other person doesn't like.

Unless the person cooking makes two dishes, one for themselves, and one that they know the other person likes.

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4 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I think all relationships have rules and roles. The trick is in recognizing and discussing them. D/s folks seem to enjoy that, and potentially avoid breaking them as a result.

It took years for my ex-hubby and I to recognize our mutual annoyance over figuring out what to have for dinner every evening. We finally discussed it and decided that “who cooks, chooses”. It took a little while to fully adopt that idea. We knew each other’s tastes, but had to develop the confidence that we could proceed without asking. The end result was the elimination of a minor annoyance in our relationship and the arrival of a bit of serendipity in our dinners, as each of us was freed to follow whims.

Communication is always a key factor. And having D/S in a relationship doesn't mean the relationship itself is D/S. It can be just the "play" part. It can also vary depending on the type of relationship. Some are just casual fun relationships, while others are married. 

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Posting image of a hot sub for everyone to oogle ...

image.jpeg.552ce31bc32a612e3b70112607abdead.jpeg

Can I share your sub? *Edit* I mean, will you share your sub with me, please?

It could be just you, me, and your sub. Or, a whole party!

Edited by Love Zhaoying
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Posted (edited)
On 5/14/2022 at 3:45 PM, Madelaine McMasters said:

There is evidence that practitioners of D/s and BDSM are not only normal, but are also generally well adjusted. Here are a couple examples:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23679066/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unique-everybody-else/201502/personality-traits-bdsm-practitioners-another-look

You recently thanked another poster for quoting you as an example of prejudice against men. Though I’m not sure you exhibit that particular prejudice, thanking someone for insulting you could be read as a sign of masochism. I don’t think that’s the case either, so I’m left to wonder just how well you understand thing

many normal well educated non ill mentally are pedo. (thats is example)

so what I mean this is sexual preference or sexual behaviour thatn unssual. of course they are normal  not insnae, many are well educated, some are even a professor , and from high social status.

what makes me irritated is , if you clearly said you not into it, and your friend im your partner behind you, tobe honest I feel disrespected.

but since I am good guy I dont go and scold him.

 

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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12 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

many normal well educated non ill mentally are pedo. (thats is example)

I presume you mean "otherwise normal". It's difficult to get good statistics regarding pedophilia (which is not the topic of this disussion). While a few percent of people might be attracted to children, few of them act out on that, or let it interfere with their lives. I routinely imagine throwing people I don't like through windows, setting them on fire, or crushing and burying them with my tractor. I've yet to do any of those things.

12 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

so what I mean this is sexual preference or sexual behaviour thatn unssual.

D/s and BDSM are not unusual interests (particularly in the US, it seems).

https://www.psypost.org/2022/04/new-research-from-finland-suggests-interest-in-bdsm-is-surprisingly-common-62865

12 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

of course they are normal  not insnae, many are well educated, some are even a professor , and from high social status.

You have contradicted yourself by stating that BDSM practitioners are both unusual and normal.

12 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

what makes me irritated is , if you clearly said you not into it, and your friend im your partner behind you, tobe honest I feel disrespected.

If I understand you correctly, some fella IMed your partner, who clearly told you she was not into BDSM, and you feel disrespected. Did I get that right? If so (and even if not) what has that got to do with the popularity or propriety of BDSM?

If you are going to try to argue a point, I recommend that you:

  1. Have a point
  2. Argue for it
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7 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:
14 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

your friend im your partner behind you, tobe honest I feel disrespected.

If I understand you correctly, some fella IMed your partner, who clearly told you she was not into BDSM, and you feel disrespected. Did I get that right?

Some of us pay good L$ to be disrespected. They should be grateful!

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6 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Some of us pay good L$ to be disrespected. They should be grateful!

While it may appear so, we both know that, in a good D/s relationship, there is true respect in both directions. Our enjoyment of that antithetical appearance is often what puts BDSM in a bad light.

Actual antithetical behavior is not BDSM, it's abuse.

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Just now, Madelaine McMasters said:

While it may appear so, we both know that, in a good D/s relationship, there is true respect in both directions. Our enjoyment of that antithetical appearance is often what puts BDSM in a bad light.

Actual antithetical behavior is not BDSM, it's abuse.

I once mentioned to a cruel RL partner something along the lines of, "it is a fantasy that someone should make me cry".  I should have been much, much more specific. Yet, I learned a lot from that - and now, I could write a horror novel about that RL experience! There's always a silver lining. (Unless you end up dead, but even then you're not suffering any longer.)

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I once mentioned to a cruel RL partner something along the lines of, "it is a fantasy that someone should make me cry".  I should have been much, much more specific. Yet, I learned a lot from that - and now, I could write a horror novel about that RL experience! There's always a silver lining. (Unless you end up dead, but even then you're not suffering any longer.)

I'm saddened to hear of your experience.

I've little experience myself, and only in SL. Those who have experienced me might say they had to suffer through my making sure I understood them well enough to fulfill their fantasies in the most respectful way possible. Not everybody wants their fantasy to be acknowledged as such.

We are such nutty creatures, Love.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I presume you mean "otherwise normal". It's difficult to get good statistics regarding pedophilia (which is not the topic of this disussion). While a few percent of people might be attracted to children, few of them act out on that, or let it interfere with their lives. I routinely imagine throwing people I don't like through windows, setting them on fire, or crushing and burying them with my tractor. I've yet to do any of those things.

D/s and BDSM are not unusual interests (particularly in the US, it seems).

https://www.psypost.org/2022/04/new-research-from-finland-suggests-interest-in-bdsm-is-surprisingly-common-62865

You have contradicted yourself by stating that BDSM practitioners are both unusual and normal.

If I understand you correctly, some fella IMed your partner, who clearly told you she was not into BDSM, and you feel disrespected. Did I get that right? If so (and even if not) what has that got to do with the popularity or propriety of BDSM?

If you are going to try to argue a point, I recommend that you:

  1. Have a point
  2. Argue for it

whatever your argument for me people do  bdsm  are sick they need help..

and if you do roleplay for it well you are sick you need help tbh.

yes someone here t and was talk in here,  ask me about his bdsm stuff. and clearly I tell him we are not doing kink. he is my friend I bring him to my place. But he keep IM my partner and he think Idk.

I tell you this in SL i try tobe polite, and treat people like irl. I respect them but I want be respected too. well now I realise all bdsm sh1t are jerk and they cant see boundaties even you already told them. tell ypu this , you want hump other person, make an alt and hump your ownself.

 

 

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Some of us pay good L$ to be disrespected. They should be grateful!

you need help dude lol, sorry, I mean them.

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

whatever your argument for me people do  bdsm  are sick they need help..

and if you do roleplay for it well you are sick you need help tbh.

yes someone here t and was talk in here,  ask me about his bdsm stuff. and clearly I tell him we are not doing kink. he is my friend I bring him to my place. But he keep IM my partner and he think Idk.

I tell you this in SL i try tobe polite, and treat people like irl. I respect them but I want be respected too. well now I realise all bdsm sh1t are jerk and they cant see boundaties even you already told them. tell ypu this , you want hump other person, make an alt and hump your ownself.

 

 

That had more to do with your 'friend' being an asshat and nothing to do with bdsm whatsoever.  BDSM is all about boundaries.  

Yes, people in SL role play BDSM.  Most have no clue what they are doing.  That does not mean they are sick or need help.  They need educated.

Your 'friend' sounds like many SL men who think every woman is here for their amusement.  

Edited by Rowan Amore
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