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Am I just old fashioned?


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5 hours ago, NanashiNyx said:

It seems weird that men would hang around a women's clothing store, like how out of place do you have to feel doing that?

I'll echo what the others have said - there are lots of reasons for that. I have male and female avatars and I shop in all of them. I never once felt out of place doing so (in either direction). If I get a group notice from a makeup or female clothing shop that says something like "500L gift credit come on down!" while I'm skipping around the grid in my Legacy Male, I'm heading right over before the sim crashes and burns. Why even bother changing - that's too involved.

A bit more unusual perhaps - I also squeeze my female Maitreya-wearers into clothing & suits designed for Jake and Legacy if I can make it work. My more androgynous Legacy Male avatar wears female Slink feet so I can shop female-fit shoes and boots for him. So, I can always be found in male and female stores because I shop for everything. Imagine if I had to change avatars each time I wanted to view a new item during Saturday Sale/Happy Weekend/So Kawaii? That's like...15 or more stores I zip around to sometimes. I'd go maaaaaad! 😂

I see men in womens shops all the time. I see women in mens shops all the time. I always just assume they're as fluid as I am or they're shopping for a partner. I never considered they were just there to pick someone up. Not the most exciting places to do all that. If they ARE trying that, then they must realllllly love discussing auto-hide clothing and timed demos! 🤣

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think people who hide real gender, actually want to take advantage,
that time I met a woman, she helped me how to set my avatar, then she started to seduce me,.
I asked her, are you a man and
she didn't seem happy with my question then said this is SL and don't ask gender.
In my opinion, a lot of assholes hide behind female avatars.  voice is important to me when I want to be close friends with someone

I'm not new to virtual world, but new to SL,
my first day in here, someone offered me the job of being a prostitute, and she's in a female avatar
at the same time a message appears from an unknown person asking for sex
 
Is this a TOS violation?

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, oliviaumbrella said:

I think people who hide real gender, actually want to take advantage,
that time I met a woman, she helped me how to set my avatar, then she started to seduce me,.
I asked her, are you a man and
she didn't seem happy with my question then said this is SL and don't ask gender.
In my opinion, a lot of assholes hide behind female avatars.  voice is important to me when I want to be close friends with someone

I'm not new to virtual world, but new to SL,
my first day in here, someone offered me the job of being a prostitute, and she's in a female avatar
at the same time a message appears from an unknown person asking for sex
 
Is this a TOS violation?

 

 

 

No, offering jobs and asking for sex is not against the TOS.  You might want to stay in General rated areas if you are easily offended.  It's not foolproof, but it might help.  You can also put your friend requirements in your profile.  Things like "I require voice verification for friendship" and "People not playing their real life genders are creepy and should not talk to me"

There are some standard warnings like "No drama" and "I'll send my family after you if you do me wrong" that always work to keep "those types" away.

Best of luck with your SecondLufe.

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10 hours ago, oliviaumbrella said:

I think people who hide real gender, actually want to take advantage,
that time I met a woman, she helped me how to set my avatar, then she started to seduce me,.
I asked her, are you a man and
she didn't seem happy with my question then said this is SL and don't ask gender.
In my opinion, a lot of assholes hide behind female avatars.  voice is important to me when I want to be close friends with someone

I'm not new to virtual world, but new to SL,
my first day in here, someone offered me the job of being a prostitute, and she's in a female avatar
at the same time a message appears from an unknown person asking for sex
 
Is this a TOS violation?

 

 

 

Unless all one is looking for is SLex and deeply afraid of 'doing it' with someone of the wrong gender, your RL gender shouldn't matter.   I'll engage with you in SL as you present yourself be it male, female, any range in between, alien, dragon, cat, dog, robot.  I've found over the years, the only ones really concerned about RL.gender are people wanting a random sex hookup.

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As an asexual person, I'm not in to SLex.
I really don't care if gender behind the keyboard is the same as the avatar on the screen, the only thing that matters is that it is a nice person.
I do hope however that the parrot I was talking to the other night, was not a real one behind the keyboard too. :D

Edited by Sid Nagy
The usual non native la da di la da da.
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Just now, Sid Nagy said:

I do hope however that the parrot I was talking to the other night, was not a real one behind the keyboard too. :D

   Why, what do you have against parrots though? :o

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On 4/14/2022 at 6:08 AM, oliviaumbrella said:

I think people who hide real gender, actually want to take advantage,
that time I met a woman, she helped me how to set my avatar, then she started to seduce me,.
I asked her, are you a man and
she didn't seem happy with my question then said this is SL and don't ask gender.
In my opinion, a lot of assholes hide behind female avatars.  voice is important to me when I want to be close friends with someone

 

 

 

 

Oh yes, somebody helping You to create a good avatar sounds like being a real *****. 

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On 4/18/2022 at 5:43 PM, LydiavonK said:

Oh yes, somebody helping You to create a good avatar sounds like being a real *****. 

Yea sounds a bit ungrateful. I had to figure it out on my own. I was a walking mess for a long time. They're only pixels. I think he should have just humored her. She probably only wanted to cuddle and take pics anyway. 

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On 4/14/2022 at 7:32 AM, Rowan Amore said:

Unless all one is looking for is SLex and deeply afraid of 'doing it' with someone of the wrong gender,

Y'know, you keep saying this over and over.  You seem to think that everyone is gay but is afraid someone will find out.  That's not even close to reality.  A LOT of people are just simply NOT gay and the same gender does not sexually stimulate them as in my case.  I'm not "afraid" of touching another guys junk, I' just have no desire to do it.  I think you'll find a lot of guys like that.  

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11 minutes ago, TT120 said:

Y'know, you keep saying this over and over.  You seem to think that everyone is gay but is afraid someone will find out.  That's not even close to reality.  A LOT of people are just simply NOT gay and the same gender does not sexually stimulate them as in my case.  I'm not "afraid" of touching another guys junk, I' just have no desire to do it.  I think you'll find a lot of guys like that.  

You've misinterpreted what I've said.  I'm talking about men using female avatars.  The reason why SOME men require voice verification before engaging in SLex is that they're concerned they're rubbing pixels with another male behind the avatar.  You know, those men who use female avatars and have sex with male avatars.  Totally different than what you're trying to explain.  

ETA... As in "OMG, I had sex with a female avatar run by a man!!!! 

Edited by Rowan Amore
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45 minutes ago, TT120 said:

Y'know, you keep saying this over and over.  You seem to think that everyone is gay but is afraid someone will find out.  That's not even close to reality.  A LOT of people are just simply NOT gay and the same gender does not sexually stimulate them as in my case.  I'm not "afraid" of touching another guys junk, I' just have no desire to do it.  I think you'll find a lot of guys like that.  

I guess it depends on what the intentions of both parties are, if it's just a random "encounter" then the participants are probably less likely to care than if one or both of them are seeking some level of emotional intimacy (I say "I guess" because it's not really an activity I personally engage in myself so some of the attitudes that people exhibit are pretty much a mystery to me).

It's interesting how immersed some people can become in SL, how much they identify with their own avatar and how easy they find it to project the physical qualities of other avatars onto the people behind them.

I'm all for immersion but I feel like sometimes people would benefit from toggling view wireframe on for a second now and then just to remind themselves it's all just polygons.

 

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53 minutes ago, TT120 said:

I'm not "afraid" of touching another guys junk, I' just have no desire to do it.  I think you'll find a lot of guys like that.  

News flash - this is a virtual world. No actual peeners need be touched except your own if your in the mood. Slex between avis does not equate to touching each others junk. 

You of course are speaking for yourself and that's fair enough. Nobody is forcing you to do anything you don't want to do.

But as a RL trans girl who has hooked up with many a purportedly "straight" guy for fun I can tell you one thing - many straight guys are not scared/afraid to touch a peener. But they ARE totally scared that one of their mates might find out and call them names or start questioning their sexuality.

And quite a few will "cross the line", enjoy it, but then be disgusted with themselves at a later point, blank you for a few weeks, then call you at 1am drunk over and over trying to get into your knickers again until you block their number.

So "afraid" - no. But there are some weird mental shenanigans going on with some guys for sure. I do enjoy the thought that I have caused at least a dozen existential crises in my short life.

But in a virtual world where anyone can be anything who the flip cares? I just dont get it. And to force each other back into the roles we inhabit in our RL just because of our own fragile egos kills a lot of the magic and expression of SL. I could not care less who is behind the avi so long as they are nice. And my SL is all the richer for it.

 

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I don't make a habit of this, but I do like the idea of messing with people's mind sometimes. 

I once had a trans girlfriend. We didn't "go all the way", but we kissed and made out. Once we were both teasing a guy friend by running ice cubes over his skin on a hot day. I have to admit it was amusing to think that he was attracted to her, but didn't know she was trans. 

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Personally as a gay man if I found out that someone I hooked up with in sl was a woman i'd be tight af. I don't care if its a virtual world, I don't like dishonest people, and i'm also not attracted to women. Idc if the avatar is a man, i'm talking to the individual behind the avatar not to the avatar. 

Luckily I doubt that a lot of women pretend to be gay men on SL, but if you are just know that its shady af lol. Same goes for guys pretending to be girls.

And just to clarify I have no issue with women using male avatars, and I don't have an issue with them not disclosing their gender in general. But I feel like in the case of having pixel sex with someone, if you fully know that that person is not attracted to your gender and you still lie to them then that's a violation.

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39 minutes ago, MalibuBratz said:

Personally as a gay man if I found out that someone I hooked up with in sl was a woman i'd be tight af. I don't care if its a virtual world, I don't like dishonest people, and i'm also not attracted to women. Idc if the avatar is a man, i'm talking to the individual behind the avatar not to the avatar. 

Luckily I doubt that a lot of women pretend to be gay men on SL, but if you are just know that its shady af lol. Same goes for guys pretending to be girls.

And just to clarify I have no issue with women using male avatars, and I don't have an issue with them not disclosing their gender in general. But I feel like in the case of having pixel sex with someone, if you fully know that that person is not attracted to your gender and you still lie to them then that's a violation.

Yah this is the bit I don't get. I don't ask. I don't care. Its not "real". 

But I agree if someone asks you, you should be truthful. At least in potential sexual situations. Otherwise it turns into a deception.

I just don't get why anyone asks this kind of thing in the first place. But I guess I have lived a RL of gender/sexuality questions. I "pass" pretty well, but that just means the "big reveal" comes as more of a shock when it has to happen.

For me throwing all that stuff away in SL is very liberating. 

45 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I don't make a habit of this, but I do like the idea of messing with people's mind sometimes. 

I once had a trans girlfriend. We didn't "go all the way", but we kissed and made out. Once we were both teasing a guy friend by running ice cubes over his skin on a hot day. I have to admit it was amusing to think that he was attracted to her, but didn't know she was trans. 

If your responding to my story, I don't endorse messing with anyone's mind. In my case, they messed with their own. I was merely the catalyst. I take no credit. I just occasionally giggle about the results. But yeah, sounds like fairly harmless fun in that case.

Edited by AnnabelleApocalypse
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I suppose in a way I'm extremely fortunate since the way in which I try to portray the person behind the avatar automatically renders moot the question of any encounter based on perceived RL physical attraction.

As I state in my in-world profile "For all intents and purposes I'm just a brain in a jar!" and, while I'm not one to kink shame, anyone that's turned on by a big squishy organ bobbing around in a jar is not really my type so my answer is invariably going to be a polite but resounding No! :P 

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5 minutes ago, AnnabelleApocalypse said:

Yah this is the bit I don't get. I don't ask. I don't care. Its not "real". 

But I agree if someone asks you, you should be truthful. At least in potential sexual situations. Otherwise it turns into a deception.

I just don't get why anyone asks this kind of thing in the first place. But I guess I have lived a RL of gender/sexuality questions. I "pass" pretty well, but that just means the "big reveal" comes as more of a shock when it has to happen.

It is real to me tho, like even if it's just a game i'm not talking to a bot. To me meeting people online is the same as meeting people in the real world, even if of course having pixel sex is not the same as having real life sex I still wouldnt feel comfortable doing it if I knew a woman was behind the screen. 

However I do get where you're coming from as a transwoman since you probably get a lot more negative reactions when it comes to your gender than a cis person would. And I'd also add that if I found out that the person behind the avatar wasnt a cis male but a transman I wouldnt feel lied to whatsoever.

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16 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

As I state in my in-world profile "For all intents and purposes I'm just a brain in a jar!" and, while I'm not one to kink shame, anyone that's turned on by a big squishy organ bobbing around in a jar is not really my type so my answer is invariably going to be a polite but resounding No! :P

   Sapiosexuals:

pikachu-sad.gif

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4 minutes ago, MalibuBratz said:

It is real to me tho, like even if it's just a game i'm not talking to a bot. To me meeting people online is the same as meeting people in the real world, even if of course having pixel sex is not the same as having real life sex I still wouldnt feel comfortable doing it if I knew a woman was behind the screen. 

I guess its just a philosophical difference then. 

I dont see meeting someone on SL (or any virtual world) as meeting someone online in the same sense. SL is a fantasyland to me. That we can explore any and all aspects of our inner selves is a magical thing you cant get many other places. 

Like, I can understand from your perspective being a bit peeved. But don't you also think its kinda cool that you could help someone have an experience they could never have with anyone else in any other place? Isn't there some magic to that for you?

Now if this is an intimate, romantic relationship - totally different thing.  But a bit of Slex? Dont overthink it, just enjoy! :D

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1 hour ago, MalibuBratz said:

And just to clarify I have no issue with women using male avatars, and I don't have an issue with them not disclosing their gender in general. But I feel like in the case of having pixel sex with someone, if you fully know that that person is not attracted to your gender and you still lie to them then that's a violation.

I tend to agree with this. I don't personally care about a person's gender or anything else going on behind the screen. If we get along, I'm going to be your friend no matter what. The ONLY time it'd make any kind of difference at all and I'd expect full honesty is if we're at the relationship stage (and I don't do SL-only shenanigans, hence why I'd want to know). It might not even matter THAT much, but still, give me a chance to make that decision for myself.

For my own self, I've got "genderfluid" in my 2nd Life and female in my 1st Life. It's just a lot easier having all that info up front for the people who care about that sort of thing. I swap avatars a lot all on the same account, so they can't say I didn't warn them.

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