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Am I just old fashioned?


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Speaking of online dating - I find it all to be very similar. The lazy "hey" or "how r u" inbox messages, instant list of questions, the impatience, the quick to anger bit, send photos (despite having photos), what's your number, nope didn't read your profile. Also, if you've ever been clubbing or like to spend time in bars/pubs, it can be a lot like that, too - after the drinks kick in, lol. And don't forget the a/s/l thing back in AOL chatroom and IRC days - and with that, sometimes you wouldn't even get a hello!

I think maybe it seems a bit worse - more frequent, at least, in SL likely because of the anonymity paired with the nature of it being a highly visual platform. There's no real need to post a RL photo in profiles and nobody's actually standing right in front of anybody, so yeah, maybe awkward, clumsy confidence is more of a thing - in everyone. Then of course, the target is also anonymous - so the urge to verify who you're speaking with kicks in (maybe not for most people but definitely some). It all just leads to a nice confusing mess in the world of social interaction in the virtual world. 

The good news is there are people who know better and treat everyone they meet with the same respect they'd (hopefully!!!) show in the real world. I like to think that those of us who grew up with dial-up internet have long since abandoned our robes and wizard hats and have learned how NOT to become a meme a long, long time ago. 😂 For others, maybe they're still feeling their way around.

 

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I certainly mellowed out a lot in my response to those kind of IM's. I used to relentlessly mock at them, but that got old, apparently. They need to put in effort for me to do that these days, lol. Now I just do one word replies, that shuts them right up most of the time.

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6 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

I certainly mellowed out a lot in my response to those kind of IM's. I used to relentlessly mock at them, but that got old, apparently. They need to put in effort for me to do that these days, lol. Now I just do one word replies, that shuts them right up most of the time.

My response recently, if I even get one of those prying questions is...

/me simply closes the IM window.

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Automated message works kfc is all ways got some thighs and some legs and breast so get going.   Sex ? Only sex I will be drinking is sex on the beach on island away from you.         I have to take a raincheck. Sorry on a call. Got meeting to go to. I my friend got birthday so I gotta go. No answer is a answer.  Ways of saying No with out saying No https://www.instagram.com/p/CYZR67zqatR/

Edited by RayaNiles
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you will fine people like that everywhere, which mean SL is not an exception, but if for some men who wants to get inside your virtual undies you stop talking with all of them, then you're pretty much going to miss the ones that are awesome

just putting everybody in the same bag because some of them is not a good way of do stuff, is like saying, i hate food because i hate some food, or like all jobs are underpaid because the job i had was underpaid, which is incorrect.

so just give people a try, if they look like not worthy stop answering or block them, is pretty easy but again, what if somebody can give you a very memorable days but you sent him to fly because the first thing he said was "hi, how are you?"

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1 hour ago, monykony said:

you will fine people like that everywhere, which mean SL is not an exception, but if for some men who wants to get inside your virtual undies you stop talking with all of them, then you're pretty much going to miss the ones that are awesome

just putting everybody in the same bag because some of them is not a good way of do stuff, is like saying, i hate food because i hate some food, or like all jobs are underpaid because the job i had was underpaid, which is incorrect.

so just give people a try, if they look like not worthy stop answering or block them, is pretty easy but again, what if somebody can give you a very memorable days but you sent him to fly because the first thing he said was "hi, how are you?"

This, 100 times this.

Yes, a lot of people use SL to date and have sex. But I guess everybody knows that when one signs up for the platform.

Concentrate on all the others who are not in SL for pixel sex.
And there are tons of them IMHO in SL as well.

Edited by Sid Nagy
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   A lot of women do this too, to be fair. 

   I get more IMs from women wanting to get down to business when I'm on Orwar, than I do from men when I'm on Mina and Neph. And it's not as if the one from women are any milder or less lazy in their composition.

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5 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   A lot of women do this too, to be fair. 

   I get more IMs from women wanting to get down to business when I'm on Orwar, than I do from men when I'm on Mina and Neph. And it's not as if the one from women are any milder or less lazy in their composition.

That's true. It's funny because I specifically say in my profil that i'm gay but one girl who asked me to do a 3some with her man told me "i dont care about who's behind the avatar" mmm baby i do care lol. I was kinda mad too cause I was on my female avi and I thought she just wanted to be friends but the whole two days we hung out she only wanted to have sex lol.

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Over the years I have met two guys who I love and trust in SL, and we've had a lot of fun. Only one is still around these days sadly.

Almost every other guy, in a short or long time has proven themselves to be pretty dreadful. Though I do give back as good as I get. So they probably think the same thing about me. 

to be fair, intimacy IS hard to build via text. I do voice sometimes, but as a trans girl, I am a teensy tiny bit self conscious of my voice. :$

Luckily I do know a few girls inworld who enjoy snuggles, pyjama parties and gossiping about various awful aspects of SL. So I don't need to put myself out there much.

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I've been fortunate that most men I meet in SL are pleasant and friendly.  I have several dear friends from varying points in my SL who are men, and who've always been nothing more than friends. 

It may help that I'm very obviously married in both worlds, and my entire profile shrieks "OMG NO JUST NO".  I mean, for those who read profiles :P

Yeah, you run into the occasional twerp, but they seem to be less around than usual maybe?

I think some folks read the "I fell in love in SL and it went RL" stories and think that SL is a dating site.  It's not.  It can happen (full disclosure:  I met my husband in SL and we've been married RL since 2009), but it's no more a dating site than a grocery store.  Sometimes you meet someone and something just clicks; that can happen anywhere.

Edited by Ajay McDowwll
I still can't punctuate to save my life.
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1 hour ago, AnnabelleApocalypse said:

...as a trans girl, I am a teensy tiny bit self conscious of my voice. :$

"Do you voice, sexy?"

Trust me, hon, you do *not* want to hear me. I've smoked for decades... I could do the voice for Marge's third sister on The Simpsons.

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On 3/22/2022 at 12:16 PM, Rowan Amore said:

I stand around in adult regions almost exclusively wearing outfits that I've posted on the picture threads here.  I don't get the blatant sex IMs.  What their ulterior motive might be is debatable, but I've had some pretty good regular chats with random people.  The last few times I HAVE been propositioned, it's been at shopping events.  Go figure.

So much this... everytime I go to a place like blueberry, my IMs explode. I just don't get it... I work for two clubs that are rated R, and most of those guys are simply wanting to chat.

I've actually made some close guy friends (platonic) this way.

But going to blueberry/Addams/insert-popular-store-name-here, it's as of it was a nude beach or something.

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10 minutes ago, Ellie4024 said:

But going to blueberry/Addams/insert-popular-store-name-here, it's as of it was a nude beach or something.

Ever been to Alpha Gym?

 

I mean, I know it's A rated, and has "adult" wrestling in the back, but can you leave a girl alone while she's on a timer with a scripted exercise bike in the front room?

The "needs" HUD I use has a fitness game, and Alpha Gym is their partner, so at certain levels (You can buy a level 2 and level 5 item to use on your own land, the other levels you either lose some experience and rank lower in the competition plus take longer to level up, or you go to Alpha Gym to maximize it and watch your block list grow until you worry that you may hit the cap in your first year of SL) you're stuck in that place or you're not maximizing the potential returns from the time spent "working out" in SL.

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On 3/24/2022 at 10:50 AM, Orwar said:

I get more IMs from women wanting to get down to business when I'm on Orwar, than I do from men when I'm on Mina and Neph. And it's not as if the one from women are any milder or less lazy in their composition.

I've been on a sex sim where someone kinda jumped on the guy I was talking to and started throwing out very illiterate emotes and tacky "Mmm... So good. $^#& me harder, Daddy!" style lines. We carried on an entire intelligent conversation while he was dropping the same level of emotes back at her between well written creative responses to me. He didn't want to be rude and just kick her off the bar stool, but if there wasn't another conversation going I'm sure he would have fallen asleep in his pint after fifteen minutes of that.

 

As to who's behind the avatar I really don't care...

 

I've been here close to a year now and I've met two people I *might* consider actually meeting if I'm ever closer than 1200 or so miles away from them, if they can stay in character I don't care who is doing the writing behind them and see them as who they present themselves to be here.

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On 3/24/2022 at 12:50 PM, Orwar said:

   A lot of women do this too, to be fair. 

   I get more IMs from women wanting to get down to business when I'm on Orwar, than I do from men when I'm on Mina and Neph. And it's not as if the one from women are any milder or less lazy in their composition.

I have had a lot of my male friends tell me this yet I don't know why I can't quite believe it happens the same amount if not more to men. 

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51 minutes ago, MissV82 said:

I have had a lot of my male friends tell me this yet I don't know why I can't quite believe it happens the same amount if not more to men. 

There are more women than men playing in SL, so the odds of them finding a guy who looks sharp and isn't a troll in other respects is pretty low. Maybe they assume all the guys in SL want to pixel-bump, since many of them do, and figure it can't hurt to ask. Women can show a lack of good sense, just as much as men can.

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13 hours ago, Ellie4024 said:

So much this... everytime I go to a place like blueberry, my IMs explode. I just don't get it... I work for two clubs that are rated R, and most of those guys are simply wanting to chat.

I've actually made some close guy friends (platonic) this way.

But going to blueberry/Addams/insert-popular-store-name-here, it's as of it was a nude beach or something.

The weird thing is both Addams and Blueberry only sell women's clothing, so these guys are either there with a women who's shopping or they're going there just to find good-looking female avatars.

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56 minutes ago, MissV82 said:

I have had a lot of my male friends tell me this yet I don't know why I can't quite believe it happens the same amount if not more to men. 

Many men are conditioned to hand-wave such things away or to see it as a slightly positive thing, all while they decline repeatedly - oh yes and converse amongst other men, using such things as some kind of twisted validation of their attractiveness/prowess/some other inconsequential BS.

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7 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

The weird thing is both Addams and Blueberry only sell women's clothing, so these guys are either there with a women who's shopping or they're going there just to find good-looking female avatars.

Yup... apparently they're either unfaithful jerks, or looking to get lucky in the changing room?

Ah, SL, never change....

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My first avatar was very gender neutral and, when I first started shopping for things to outfit myself, I actually felt really self-conscious about going in to women's clothing stores looking "non-binary" rather than outright male.

 

It seems weird that men would hang around a women's clothing store, like how out of place do you have to feel doing that?

 

It even seems a little odd to me to be in men's stores hoping (it happens, but is very case-by-case to be explored via demos, some look just fine and others are an absolute mess) that the random Gianni rigged armor will look decent on Maitreya Petite.

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1 hour ago, NanashiNyx said:

My first avatar was very gender neutral and, when I first started shopping for things to outfit myself, I actually felt really self-conscious about going in to women's clothing stores looking "non-binary" rather than outright male.

 

It seems weird that men would hang around a women's clothing store, like how out of place do you have to feel doing that?

 

It even seems a little odd to me to be in men's stores hoping (it happens, but is very case-by-case to be explored via demos, some look just fine and others are an absolute mess) that the random Gianni rigged armor will look decent on Maitreya Peti.l

 

w     

Your negative views blind you, there are many reasons why a man is in a women's shop, it could be because he is looking for a gift for his partner, or he is a woman in a male avatar.
he could also be doing market research, checking prices.
I myself took a demo of a woman's body, to learn about the hud system.
i try helping my partner, also making tattoo for her.

 

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1 hour ago, NanashiNyx said:

My first avatar was very gender neutral and, when I first started shopping for things to outfit myself, I actually felt really self-conscious about going in to women's clothing stores looking "non-binary" rather than outright male.

 

It seems weird that men would hang around a women's clothing store, like how out of place do you have to feel doing that?

 

It even seems a little odd to me to be in men's stores hoping (it happens, but is very case-by-case to be explored via demos, some look just fine and others are an absolute mess) that the random Gianni rigged armor will look decent on Maitreya Petite.

I have multiple avatars including both male and female, sometimes i'm just lazy switching avatars lol or there's both a male and female store next to each other.

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