Can we all start treating SL IMs the same way we treat RL IMs?

[Leahndra]

32 minutes ago, Ren Toxx said:

What I do with these, is to start answering with just the first letter of each word, ”ftyijhoh” being “Fine, thank you, I’m just hanging out here”.

I do that too 😂

[tomm55]

56 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

Oh nice, I thought there is only an away status 👍

[Ayeleeon]

2 hours ago, Annie Nova said:

Too funny! I think we all expect better from our mothers 🙂

True, though I can't imagine telling my Mom how to text.

[CaithLynnSayes]

2 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

I agree. Love your messages. I've spend some time making a couple of my own. Maybe we should start a seperate thread; "What do your Autoresponse messages say"  

 

[Nick0678]

15 hours ago, CaithLynnSayes said:

I agree. Love your messages. I've spend some time making a couple of my own. Maybe we should start a seperate thread; "What do your Autoresponse messages say" 

Thanks! I made them to fit with the way i like to roleplay SL. Glad you liked them.

What do you mean messing around with blender?

[Sukubia Scarmon]

19 hours ago, Janet Voxel said:

I feel like that's what they want you to say. So, I let them peace out!

Not sure about that - I think they'd love to hear the first part "I'm not busy!" on it's own, but they surely don't wanna hear the rest. I mean, I personally think they're going with "oh you're busy" because they cannot fathom any other reason why people would not answer them. Sometimes people forget that how they see and experience themselfes is not how others do.

Also, as hard as it is to believe, I do not screech at people or go full on trainwreckmode on them for that stuff. I explain that to them pretty plainly, and either they accept that, and then start a real conversation, or they don't, and then I just shrug and close that window, lol. 

[Silent Mistwalker]

23 hours ago, Janet Voxel said:

I think what’s needed is going back to chat room etiquette.

I never stopped.

[Ceka Cianci]

Honestly, I don't have the tolerance for impatient people when it comes to IMing me... I'm more than likely to never respond again and just leave them hanging rather than give anymore time to any of it.

If I smell the hint of a drama queen, I cut the line right then and there and go silent or ghost or whatever they call it..

SL for me is for relaxing and that's about it..

[tomm55]

20 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

What do you mean messing around with blender?

I also sometimes mess around with Blender, but it looks more like this:

Edited January 15, 2022 by tomm55

[Janet Voxel]

1 hour ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

Not sure about that - I think they'd love to hear the first part "I'm not busy!" on it's own, but they surely don't wanna hear the rest. I mean, I personally think they're going with "oh you're busy" because they cannot fathom any other reason why people would not answer them. Sometimes people forget that how they see and experience themselfes is not how others do.

I agree 100%. But at the same time, if I'm talking to someone and they pull the "Oh, I guess you're busy." after I just responded. I feel like anything other than "Ohhhhh, noooo! I'm not busy!" fits some weird narrative of: I'm so nice, people are mean to me. I try, I really do!

I leave it at "I guess you're busy" because at that point it was them that ended the conversation.

[Silent Mistwalker]

49 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

go silent

[Prokofy Neva]

On 1/13/2022 at 6:03 AM, PixieGirrrrl said:

Just throwing this out there in the hope that this approach catches on, but...

Could we all start acknowledging/treating IM messages in SL the same way we would on our phones in RL?

What I mean by this is: don't expect someone to respond immediately. If you receive an IM in RL sometimes you might respond straight away, other times if you're busy or with people then you will respond at a later time when it is more convenient.

This is how I think everyone should start seeing IMs. I am so fed up with the:

"Hi"

2 mins later

"??"

1 min later

"guess u must be busy"

Why is there this expectation that an IM must be replied to immediately? If someone didn't reply to your text in RL STRAIGHT AWAY you wouldn't freak out about it would you? So why do that in SL?

It's different if you're in a sim standing next to someone. The fact that you're in each other's presence/company I think makes an instant interaction more obligatory. But otherwise, sending an SL IM should be like sending a RL IM. You message someone and then wait for a reply when it's convenient for them.

That's just what I think, and it would make me happy if others agreed! Hahaha. But curious to hear other people's thoughts on this too. 😄

I think this is something that is generational. My grandparents lived in an era before there was a telephone on every farm. So they treated telephones often as a kind of telegraph service that a) they thought was terribly expensive and b) was on a party line, so you couldn't tie it up for long by chatting away on it while somebody might have an emergency and need it. So my grandfather would make a call and bark like a telegram "Your Aunt Martha died, funeral is Sunday" and hang up. That was it. That was the phone call. 

So two generations later, we have not only telephones that aren't party lines, but computers in our pockets with telephoning capacity.

I personally ignore the many IMs that are constantly barking for attention from Facebook or Twitter or whatever because I'm working in the other window. Perhaps I'll look in on those services once a day or a few times a day. Facebook would not get my attention at all, if it were not for the fact that my two children are on it, and if I want to talk to them that's where I have to go, to Messenger or Stories (from their Instragrams where I don't go) or their posts. They are obviously now in the mid-twenties because when they were teenagers, they scorned Facebook as old people's stuff and they went on Snapchat, where I didn't attempt to follow them because the communications disappeared anyway.

Once my daughter was hit by a messenger biker and injured, and as she lay on the roadside, she messaged me on Facebook that she had a bike accident and I should come get her bike before it was stolen. OK, if you are laying in pain you might only tap the top of your screen. But then 10 minutes later, as she sat in a pizza parlour, where the nice owner had brought her to give her a glass of water, she could have called me on the normal phone apparatus, you know? The app where you click on that little green picture of the phone and it dials your actual phone to reach another phone, instead of the messenger app. Instead she wrote, "Where r u???? Why aren't you answering me???" and this time, it really WAS important!

I didn't notice her urgent IM because I don't look at it every minute all day. Finally an ambulance came, and then the pizza guy finally called me on the regular phone to say my daughter was in an accident. She had a dislocated shoulder. I marveled at all this heavily. But it didn't help me to change my habits to look at IMs all day because 99% of them, even from my own children, did not require immediate attention.

In SL, I want to respond to a customer right away; they paid me, they deserve me. But the customers are promiscuous with also sending me invitations to parties, teleports to their DJ sessions, and "look at this funny thing on Reddit" all day long. So it's hard to find the signal in the noise. I used to try to keep head phones on to hear the "ding" of an IM or the "kaching" of a payment but I find it just insufferable to wear headphones now for any length of time. So yes, I do look at IMs and if they are substantive try to get to them right away. So often they are not. So often the problem isn't just "hi" or "how r u" but it's a detailed complaint: "My door is locked and I can't get in and I paid." But there is no reference to their location. When I reply, even if quickly, they are already AFK, or in other IMs, or disinterested. So I can't get them to send me a TP or tell me where they are. That's when I hunt for their payment on the web site, and hope I can figure it out. Sometimes for extra frustration it's on another account that is holding together a group so I have to log on and check their. People just aren't schooled in effective communications, I guess, and it's small wonder given the sea of noise.

I find people stamping their little avatar feet within only five minutes of making an elaborate request via an IM. I don't badger people to make a Notecard like so many merchants because I know the reality is that messages DO NOT CAP if you use this One Neat Trick which I use every day. But one advantage of making and sending a NC is that you are aware of the fact that your problem cannot be solved instantly and has to be queued up.

It's a culture that someone like me will never adapt to, and so you can look to my children and grandchildren some day for conformity to any norms you might devise around this. 

If you feel now like norms must be created, you must now have become older than 20, like me, who is more than three times that age LOL.

 

[Maitimo]

5 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

I don't badger people to make a Notecard like so many merchants because I know the reality is that messages DO NOT CAP if you use this One Neat Trick which I use every day. But one advantage of making and sending a NC is that you are aware of the fact that your problem cannot be solved instantly and has to be queued up.

What I tend to do with customer service enquiries, particularly if they are complex, is send a full description in a notecard, and then also send an IM with a summary, stating "I've sent the full details in a notecard titled "XXX XXX" That way they will get their IM-to-email about it, and will know what to look for when they log in.

[Kalegthepsionicist]

SL is simulation world right ? why should treated like real IM ?

ignoring IM its ok for mynperspective because you cant handle tons IM, you will focus to important person or your friend.

 

from my side if I get ignore, i dont really care about it, if the person is inmy friendlist, I stiil send them IM at the other day.

speaking about bussy, irl, and cant respond, there are automessg to tell them youvare afk.

Edited January 15, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Kalegthepsionicist]

18 hours ago, Janet Voxel said:

I agree 100%. But at the same time, if I'm talking to someone and they pull the "Oh, I guess you're busy." after I just responded. I feel like anything other than "Ohhhhh, noooo! I'm not busy!" fits some weird narrative of: I'm so nice, people are mean to me. I try, I really do!

I leave it at "I guess you're busy" because at that point it was them that ended the conversation.

I use thts question, ( waiting for 2 minutes )

I do not want wasting my time waiting for reply.  unless you enjoy to make all people focus on you.

when I start to find other person to talk , I will ignored the last person thatbreply too long

 

for male its difficult to talk with many person at once, but

expert said, woman are good at it.

https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-24645100

Edited January 15, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Kalegthepsionicist]

On 1/14/2022 at 3:58 AM, CaithLynnSayes said:

I agree. Love your messages. I've spend some time making a couple of my own. Maybe we should start a seperate thread; "What do your Autoresponse messages say"  

 

this is better

[Kalegthepsionicist]

On 1/13/2022 at 7:20 PM, Anna Nova said:

My experience is that these people are always guys, and always interesting in starting a conversation 'now' for just one thing.  And since they want in 'now', they tell me all I want to know.

yes all guy want it now. why must waiting 🤣

[Silent Mistwalker]

5 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

I use thts question, ( waiting for 2 minutes )

I do not want wasting my time waiting for reply.  unless you enjoy to make all people focus on you.

when I start to find other person to talk , I will ignored the last person thatbreply too long

 

for male its difficult to talk with many person at once, but

expert said, woman are good at it.

https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-24645100

What a crock.

[Paul Hexem]

On the other hand, to be fair, you do know that the "I" in "IM" stands for "instant", right?

I bet that's why modern software calls it "DM" instead.

[Chris Corvinus]

On 1/13/2022 at 12:08 PM, Rowan Amore said:

U can.  In the General tab.

Away Time out: Will set you to away if there is no mouse or keyboard input for the minutes set:

• 2 minutes
• 5 minutes
• 10 minutes
• 30 minutes
• 60 minutes

Fixed.

Edited January 16, 2022 by Chris Nova

[Anna Nova]

5 hours ago, Paul Hexem said:

On the other hand, to be fair, you do know that the "I" in "IM" stands for "instant", right?

I bet that's why modern software calls it "DM" instead.

DM = <expletive deleted>head message?  

[Maitimo]

On 1/13/2022 at 7:58 PM, CaithLynnSayes said:

I agree. Love your messages. I've spend some time making a couple of my own. Maybe we should start a seperate thread; "What do your Autoresponse messages say"  

 

I changed mine (just the one for non-friends):

[Kalegthepsionicist]

On 1/15/2022 at 11:11 PM, Silent Mistwalker said:

What a crock.

🤪

me : hi

10 mnts later

her : hi

me : ok

(finding friend is depend of moment and its predestined, not an effort)

 

Edited January 17, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Yhishara Cerise]

I don't expect anyone I message in the real world or in Second Life to respond back immediately.  In Second Life, sure, the avatar might be right there in front of me but I don't see the person running the avatar.  Same goes in the real world.  I find it's only rude when I am actually standing with the physical person and I am talking to them and they aren't responding.  It's all so randomized - I never know when someone is going to send me an IM so how can I plan to be at the keyboard to respond to it?  So if I decide to leave my avatar on and go to the grocery store, play with the cat, take a nap, clean the kitchen or make a phone call during a quiet moment, people shouldn't get upset.   It would be hypocritical of me to get upset at others for doing the same thing.