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why message someone if you wont continue the interraction?


Todeuz
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4 hours ago, Maitimo said:

Your estimate is rather low.  100% is much closer I think.

In my experience, everyone who has a non-sexual motive for sending an IM will say what that reason is in their very first contact. Literally everyone does this. It's just basic social skills 101. The ones who just say "hi" or "hi how r u" and nothing else, are 100% looking for hookups because the ones who aren't, have already explained their reason for sending the message at that point.

I wish someone could explain how this is supposed to work though ..

Exactly what is the correct response to "hi, how r u?" required to facilitate a successful hookup?

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5 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Exactly what is the correct response to "hi, how r u?" required to facilitate a successful hookup?

   "I gud, u hot, wnna sxxx?"

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If I take my main account into SL it is because I feel like being social.  My alts have almost no friends and don't accept friend requests or give them out. (I have 1 alt account with 4 crossover friends.) I am very careful about keeping this distinction.  On the rare occasion I take my main in (because she has the best inventory) to take a pic or something, I use the Unavailable or Busy messages so no one thinks I am ignoring them.

The original post was asking about people who initiate a conversation and then never respond when they get an answer.  That sounds frustrating, especially if it has happened several times.  I want to respond to people who pluck up the courage to try and reach out, but if the pattern is an emotion dump from them and then ignore a supportive response, I will stop responding. 

It is a balancing act to receive a conversation starter and make the decision to respond.  I try to make the decision quickly.  Quick check of the profile, our location, are they even in the same region?  Did I miss anything in public chat? How old is the account contacting me? Every so often I'll throw caution to the wind and just respond to everything that comes in.

I will respond to "Hi how r u?"  from younger accounts in busy locations.  I don't feel bad about ignoring IMs from the completely blank profile of oldbies. My response depends on the context of the environment I am in when that conversation starter pops up. I WANT to meet people and chat.  I usually enjoy meeting others and want to assume the best.

Only 1 of my alts will initiate conversation at all.  The others want to be left alone and will not respond to IMs, but they also don't go to clubs and busy places. On the very, very, very rare occasion an alt hits it off with someone, that person is asked to send friend requests to my main account.

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Just now, Coffee Pancake said:

Is that from experience or just guessing?

:P

   Yes.

   ^_^

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Not really aimed at OP but rather the person they are talking about

It would be good to space-out time between reaching out to people by say 10 minutes. Like, IM one person, see if they respond, and only if no response in ten minutes try the next.

Like that way it won't come across as rude if multiple respond at once and you ignore them, because once ten minutes has passed there's the element of plausible deniability, you didn't get a response so you went to do something else and now you're afk. In general it's also just good manners to give people time to respond before you start seeking attention from the next person..

 

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On 4/10/2022 at 9:59 AM, Coffee Pancake said:

Is that from experience or just guessing?

:P

when the guy says..... can i ask you something? mute fast... from experience

Edited by SodaGnome
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22 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

"Ok u?"

I've tried multiple variations of that after a friend said that maybe I was being rude by asking what they wanted.

Still gets me the same stony silence.

I've even tried a following up other small talk and zippity zip.

I'm genuinely confused, so many random encounters with strangers all ending the same way, is it me ?

Edited by Coffee Pancake
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52 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

I'm genuinely confused, so many random encounters with strangers all ending the same way, is it me ?

   Perhaps you're replying in too eloquent a manner. You need to abbreviate more, lest they be intimidated by your show of linguistic prowess!

   I believe the proper form would be .. Clears throat .. 'kk u?'

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1 hour ago, Coffee Pancake said:

I've tried multiple variations of that after a friend said that maybe I was being rude by asking what they wanted.

Still gets me the same stony silence.

I've even tried a following up other small talk and zippity zip.

I'm genuinely confused, so many random encounters with strangers all ending the same way, is it me ?

It's not you. I've gotten some of the strangest IMs over the years and yet any response I give is greeted with dead silence.

Or they immediately start talking about sex or asking personal questions. 😲

I gave up trying to talk with people in SL years ago so I don't approach anyone anymore when I do happen to log in. Seems they only know how to talk at people.

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