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Inworld random friend requests.


Tama Suki
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22 minutes ago, Tama Suki said:

When a complete stranger sends you an unrequested friend request suddenly, how do you react?
Of course there is a profound difference if the subject is a noob or if he has an account born ten years ago.

I have Reject All.Friend Requests turned on so I don't have this issue any more.  Before I started using that, I just ignored unsolicited requests.

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2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

unsolicited

 Unsolicited was the word I was looking for! My English is so primitive!
Yes, my reaction is the same as yours lately.
But I always have a certain tender attention to noobs.
On the other hand they cannot be condemned for such an uneducated attitude as they are mostly people who need to understand where they are.

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For me, there's no difference whether the account is 2 days old or 5 years. I look more at the profile's bio, groups, and picks -- if there's a bunch of sexual stuff, I just ignore it. If they seem a bit more legit, I might message them with a "hello? can I help you?" and try to engage them in conversation. If all they can manage is "hi" then I ignore.

There's been a select few times that I got an IM or friend request completely out of the blue, but they turned out to be pretty chill and saw me somewhere and wanted to say hi, and were able to hold conversation. So on the off-chance it ends up leading to a good interaction, I try to be open and give them the benefit of the doubt. But that is a rare occurrence and 99% of the time I just end up ignoring them.

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3 minutes ago, Tama Suki said:

 Unsolicited was the word I was looking for! My English is so primitive!
Yes, my reaction is the same as yours lately.
But I always have a certain tender attention to noobs.
On the other hand they cannot be condemned for such an uneducated attitude as they are mostly people who need to understand where they are.

I've had new people I've helped ask to be added to the list.  I explain how I don't add anyone to  my list and then also explain calling cards.  Calling cards are underused in my opinion.   

 

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1 minute ago, Orwar said:

   Random person: *sends friend request out of the blue*

   Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEE?!

   What happens next is up to how they respond to that.

LMAO. I feel like you've gotten some interesting reactions to that. 😂

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Just now, LilNosferatu said:

LMAO. I feel like you've gotten some interesting reactions to that. 😂

As for me, after analyzing the profile of the subject, if this is a noob I approach it amicably and ask him if he needs help explaining that SL in some way and in some respects requires the same etiquette of reality.
If, on the other hand, it is a fairly old account, I first of all log on my two hundred and twelve huds. 😋

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5 minutes ago, LilNosferatu said:

LMAO. I feel like you've gotten some interesting reactions to that. 😂

   Not as many as one might have hoped for.

   Most either don't say anything at all or get really confused and feel awkward - those people are rejected for being 'no fun'.

   On occasion though, you'll get a fun response which might prompt a conversation which, if satisfying, might earn them an accepted friend request.

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Unknown friend requests are very suspicious to me.  I usually engage them in conversation to find out where they know me from. If I'm in one of my female AV's, I'll ask them for money for sex. But I've never become friends with anyone sending a random request, or had them pay me. I find it's usually more for them to annoy people than anything else.

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3 hours ago, Tama Suki said:

When a complete stranger sends you an unrequested friend request suddenly, how do you react?
Of course there is a profound difference if the subject is a noob or if he has an account born ten years ago.

No difference, if I don’t know them and have only spoken once I don’t friend. I log off and poof lol

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7 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

No difference, if I don’t know them and have only spoken once I don’t friend. I log off and poof lol

Logging off because you received an unsolicited friend request seems like a pretty radical action to me. 😁

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A couple people have mentioned poofing when an unsolicited IM comes in.  SL has a lot of different kinds of personalities.  I admit that I can have an anxious moment when I hear the ding of an unexpected incoming message. I am one of those people who has to prepare myself to be social.  Some days I can jump into a conversation with an unknown person.  Some days I can't.  If the IM is just a friend request with no other dialog, I have no problem not replying at all.  I figure the person sent out a request to everyone in the region on a fishing mission to add numbers to the friend list.

Socializing with everyone all the time is exhausting.  Being "on" all the time is an awful feeling I try to avoid. I need down time and I go into SL to get it.  I understand that many people thrive in busy social conditions and want to constantly interact.  They get anxious being alone and want instant IMs from friends the second they log in.  Others get anxious if they feel forced to have conversations to be polite and they will leave the situation.  Sometimes a conversation is effortless and flows beautifully and other times it is awkward and feels forced or fake even when just in text.

SecondLife is full of all these contradicting personalities.  Just look at these forums and how many seem to think that only they approach things correctly and only their opinions are correct.  The kindness of understanding and accepting that people are different is sometimes missing in our quickness to judge from our own standards and values.

People can panic and poof at the first sign of interaction.  It happens.  You may see it as extreme or rude.  They see it as a survival instinct.

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I accept everyone even randoms, another name in my contacts list is just another name, doesn't have to mean something and usually at the end of every year i remove those that we don't play SL together and start fresh.

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5 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

I have Reject All.Friend Requests turned on so I don't have this issue any more.  Before I started using that, I just ignored unsolicited requests.

That explains why you won't be my friend.  I thought you just didn't like me.......😁

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If I get one from a guy it's usually because they are lazy and just want to friend as a placeholder. I now have mine turned off and have this message if a friend request comes in.

I don't accept friend requests unless you are actually a friend first. Thank you for your understanding.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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3 hours ago, Tama Suki said:

Logging off because you received an unsolicited friend request seems like a pretty radical action to me. 😁

Yes I know, I can’t handle that and the inevitable questions that arise after I don’t respond to the friend prompt. I don’t like to be in that situation and I don’t want confrontation, so I poof.

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31 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

If I get one from a guy it's usually because they are lazy and just want to friend as a placeholder. I now have mine turned off and have this message if a friend request comes in.

I don't accept friend requests unless you are actually a friend first. Thank you for your understanding.

I am going to do this, I learnt something new and useful. Thank you Sam 🙏

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