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Does gender matter?


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Just now, Ayeleeon said:

Every situation happens because individuals take some action, working for a marketing firm does not make you immune to the responsibility to do what is right. Selling a fantasy is either acceptable or it is not. Who does it does not matter.

Where I come from we say "clear pacts, long friendship".

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30 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

As long as undeliverable RL favors are not included in the package there is nothing wrong with it.

ย  ย Let me introduce you to the concept of travel!

ย  ย You can move from point A to point B, which may be widely apart from each other on just about any parts of the globe, via a variety of methods, including but not limited to; trains, boats, aeroplanes, skateboards, sleighs, shopping carts, balloons, etc.

ย  ย Calling it 'undeliverable' to try to validate catfishing is just disingenuous. Besides, I distinctly recall certain events on these very forums which suggested that you really feel quite strongly towards the opposite.ย 

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26 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

Every situation happens because individuals take some action, working for a marketing firm does not make you immune to the responsibility to do what is right. Selling a fantasy is either acceptable or it is not. Who does it does not matter.

Those seem to be contradictions.ย  You either do what is right, i.e. be truthful or disregard all truth since it's merely a 'fantasy'.ย  You're also assuming the other person sees it as such.ย  The moment RL emotions step in, it ceases to be a fantasy for that person.ย ย 

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31 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

The moment RL emotions step in, it ceases to be a fantasy for that person.ย ย 

But if that person had been told over and over that nothing can go beyond SL, and they over and over day they understand and are ok with that. How is the other person responsible for their confused thinking?

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8 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

But if that person had been told over and over that nothing can go beyond SL, and they over and over day they understand and are ok with that. How is the other person responsible for their confused thinking?

The moment you realize the other person has feelings beyond what you're comfortable.with, it's either do the right thing and walk away or be honest with them.ย  You also don't get to act all heartbroken and deceived, as @Jordan Whittsaid,ย when the other person reveals their deception.ย  THIS is the problem I've had with you.ย  ย If you had not made such a scene about it and ' left' SL, no one would have been the wiser.ย  I recall at the time, you complaining about how you were deceived about the true nature of this person.ย  ย Really?ย  ย Deception is ok for you but not the other?

ย 

ย 

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21 hours ago, Tama Suki said:

I never change my clothes very often.

This is how people know you're male in RL.

ย 

When I played my first MMORPG around 20 years ago I had a couple of female characters, as they're sexier when stabbing things. But it lead to awkward situations where people react differently to your female characters, even knowing you're male in RL. Despite the visual experience I haven't made female characters since that game.

Except in SL I have 2 female avatars, one for testing couples animations. And an older one I used for raiding, because when our male groups were banned, we'd raid those sims with our females.

Everyone plays SL with their unique set of filters, to my perspective SL is like a TV show where everyone's playing a character. I may like/dislike a character, but I don't care about the actor behind it. At the other end of the scale are people who only see the actors and treat SL like a real life simulator.

When these opposing mindsets clash there will be complications and differences in expectations.

ย 

Edited by Mr Amore
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21 hours ago, Tama Suki said:

Do you think it is right to always represent yourself to everyone as a woman even if you are not in reality?

I'll copy/paste here what I've put in my profile picks related to role-play...

Quote

I love playing Second Life. The role-play is what brought me here in the first place and what's been keeping me coming back for more.ย 

I am the same person in both realms, but like others, I do things in Second Life that's simply not possible or that I would never consider doing in the real world. In that regard, I keep real life separate, and just because I have so much real life info in my profile, doesn't mean I expect the same from you.
In a good role-play scene, I don't even care who is behind the avatar: Age, race, gender, and location, are all irrelevant. Likewise; I ask you to respect my privacy, and if I have a role-play experience or relationship with you here, it doesn't mean that we're in any way connected in the real world. What happens in Second Life stays in Second Life.ย 

We're here to have a good time, live out our fantasies, explore, and do the impossible. I'm up for pretty much anything, so let's have some fun!

In Second Life, I treat you as if you ARE your avatar. That's kind of the point here, isn't it? If you present as a certain age/gender/species/whatever that's different from your real life; guess what - this isn't real life, I'm not physically interacting with the REAL you, I'm interacting with your AVATAR in a virtual space, and I treat you according to your avatar's appearance and persona. That said, my avatar literally looks like the real me and I'm using my real name. But that's just me, and I'm doing so for reasons related to using SL as a tool to build self-confidence - seeing "me" in this world, and being able to do things here that I struggle with in Real Life (like social interactions, etc.) is kind of therapeutic, for me, but not something I expect nor assume from anyone else. We all "play" Second Life in our own way that makes us happy and comfortable. If you're an old lady in Real Life and you present as a hot twink in SL, or vice versa, that's cool. Do what makes you happy, and I'll treat you according to how you represent.ย 

Edited by davidventer
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47 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

their deception

Never have I complained about the fact that he was playing as a gender other than his own. My complaint was always that he entered into what was a business partnership as one gender, then switched genders and tried to make it a romantic one. If he hadn't been a forum member he would have been unfriended and blocked and that would be the end of it. Instead he began to tell everyone in the Forums that I was an evil person for doing that to him. I admit to handling the situation beyond that point badly, though I still do not believe that at any point I was obligated to reveal anything about my RL to anyone. And that I had a right to respond to the things said about me.

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When it comes to couples/friends and feelings the best thing to do is turn on Skype and see/talk/interact with each other like all real couples and good friends do, that usually solves most problems and builds trust. If that's not an option then it's pretty clear that it doesn't matter who that person is regardless if it's SL,CoD, GTA, WoW etc

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47 minutes ago, Mr Amore said:

This is how people know you're male in RL.

It's not a given, some people are willing to spend more time and money shopping in SL, and unless you're a follower of the SL fashion scene (male or female) dressing with a set theme or as part of one of SL's many niche sub cultures can drastically reduce your choices, likewise if you're wishing to project a specific archetype.

Just now, Syo Emerald said:

I always assume at least 50% of all female avatars in any place are guys in real life. More, if its a "female only" location.

I always assume half the male avatars are female off screen .. for all the same reasons.

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53 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

I always assume at least 50% of all female avatars in any place are guys in real life. More, if its a "female only" location.

Oh hai!

6P18e9A.gif

ย 

Edited by Nick0678
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Yes, I believe that the rule in sl is the same as in rl.
You can be and do whatever you want as long as you respect the freedom of others.
However, I was quite stunned to read the responses of some who seem to enjoy gaining the trust of others by deceiving them and getting paid.
Maybe I have to think about this because after all, if the exchange is profitable for both of them, there is probably nothing of morally obscene.
But I am really out of these things and I ask forgiveness if I consider them to belong to a sphere of which I am totally disinterested and from which I gladly keep as far away as possible.

You have to excuse me but I am now discovering this aspect of SL despite being born for quite some time.
Maybe I have to get used to it but I doubt it will be possible.
Maybe I will have to leave the surface of the mundane posts for a while and devote myself onlye to technical things and the work I am doing.

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4 minutes ago, Tama Suki said:

Yes, I believe that the rule in sl is the same as in rl.
You can be and do whatever you want as long as you respect the freedom of others.
However, I was quite stunned to read the responses of some who seem to enjoy gaining the trust of others by deceiving them and getting paid.
Maybe I have to think about this because after all, if the exchange is profitable for both of them, there is probably nothing of morally obscene.
But I am really out of these things and I ask forgiveness if I consider them to belong to a sphere of which I am totally disinterested and from which I gladly keep as far away as possible.

You have to excuse me but I am now discovering this aspect of SL despite being born for quite some time.
Maybe I have to get used to it but I doubt it will be possible.
Maybe I will have to leave the surface of the mundane posts for a while and devote myself onlye to technical things and the work I am doing.

It's the internet, I mean you can't really believe everything you see or read on the internet. The same applies for SL, people can be malevolent on here.

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Just now, Paul Hexem said:

That said, as long as you're respecting the preferences of people around you, you should be fine.

If the preferences of those people are "Your avatar's gender must match your RL gender" then I simply find different people to hang out with.

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