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Looking for a female to hangout/possible relationship.


RavenSS22
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OP is looking for someone to hang out with.  I understand that he may have run away top speed from what this has turned into.

I have never seen the word whore used as anything other than an insult.  It may be used often in certain circles, but that doesn't make it less offensive.

If you are good enough at something to get paid for it, more power to you.  If you just enjoy sex a LOT, more power to you.  If you only like sex with strangers, go get it!  Bang away and have a ball.  Be safe.  Enjoy life.  Ignore those who would judge your fun or call you names because they would not do it themselves.

Dang pearl clutchers.  Police yourselves.

OP:  I hope you find a friend.

 

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28 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Sex work is indeed a divisive and contentious thing within, well, most communities, including among feminists.

It is possible, however, to oppose the principle of the objectification of women's bodies through prostitution, while still offering support for sex workers.

There are, of course, women who are in a position to choose to do sex work, and do it because they like it, earn lots of money from it, etc. They would argue it's just another form of labour, and/or that it is a choice that they have the right to make, because they have sovereignty over their own bodies and sexuality. And that principle is a good one.

But there are a lot of sex workers doing it through lack of choice -- poverty, abuse, etc. And even if you don't "agree" with the principle of sex work, blaming the women who, for whatever reason, are providing the service rather than the men who have created the market for it, or the culture that accepts that women and their bodies are "for sale" is grabbing the stick by the wrong end.

A really important reason to avoid pejorative characterizations and labels for sex workers is that they have historically been especially vulnerable to abuse -- abusive and unsafe labour practices, and violence and abuse from their clients, who, having decided that they are "whores" or "sl*ts," refuse to afford them the basic rights owed to any human being.

Using the term "sex worker" needn't imply that you are in favour of prostitution as a cultural practice. It's about changing attitudes towards the women (and men) who are engaged in the work, and working to ensure that they are safe from abuse from both "management" and clients.

While agreeing wholeheartedly with you as it applies to RL, I can't agree as it pertains to SL.  Anyone engaged in sex work in SL has chosen to do so.  No one is unsafe, trafficked, given drugs, beaten unless they agree to that type of RP.  Whore, while derogatory to some, is still defined as a prostitute.

I'm actually all for legalizing prostitution.  It should be run like any other service business with licensing and such.  

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1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

While agreeing wholeheartedly with you as it applies to RL, I can't agree as it pertains to SL.  Anyone engaged in sex work in SL has chosen to do so.  No one is unsafe, trafficked, given drugs, beaten unless they agree to that type of RP.  Whore, while derogatory to some, is still defined as a prostitute.

I'm actually all for legalizing prostitution.  It should be run like any other service business with licensing and such.  

The virtual environment of SL obviously does complicate these issues a great deal, although I wouldn't be quite so sure that sex work here is always a matter of pure uncomplicated consent and role play. There are people who do make sizable earnings from sex work here, for instance: I know of at least one web site that is devoted to the "business." And it's possible, and maybe even likely that in at least some cases, there is coercion, emotional blackmail, and other forms of emotional abuse involved. Those are not exactly unknown here.

Another complication is the issue of "kink" and role play: it's not merely that there are people that enjoy RPing sex work in SL, but also that the language used -- the pejoratives such as "whore" and "sl*t" -- are often integral to that RP. In other words, people are choosing to represent sex works as "whores" and "sl*ts" -- the actual RP itself denigrates women in the trade, and contributes to the social stigma that is applied to women who are sex workers.

And that points to a larger issue surrounding language: even in SL, even when it is a conscious and free choice to RP a prostitute, or take on a role that reinforces negative social attitudes, the language we use is important. I heartily dislike any role play that reinforces the notion of women in this way because it causes social harm: it reinforces really harmful stereotypes about women's sexuality and social worth, whether it is applied specifically to sex workers, or just more generally. BUT I also recognize and acknowledge that RP is not the same as "real life" interactions and communications, and that it is a woman's right articulate her sexuality this way if she wants to. (I have more problems when a cis man chooses to play a woman as a "sl*t," but that's a somewhat separate issue.)

I wish women would stop buying into these stereotypes: it contributes to misogyny, sexual violence, and rape culture. I wish women wouldn't RP sex workers here. BUT, again, it is their right to do so. What I would hope is that reflecting upon the social harm that they are contributing might lead them to think twice about doing so.

What I can do, myself, is avoid contributing to that social harm. I will not, myself, use terms such as "whore" or "sl*t," even if that is what a woman chooses to call herself. And that is MY right -- and, I think, my larger social responsibility.

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1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

While agreeing wholeheartedly with you as it applies to RL, I can't agree as it pertains to SL.  Anyone engaged in sex work in SL has chosen to do so.  No one is unsafe, trafficked, given drugs, beaten unless they agree to that type of RP.  Whore, while derogatory to some, is still defined as a prostitute.

I'm actually all for legalizing prostitution.  It should be run like any other service business with licensing and such.  

The virtual environment of SL obviously does complicate these issues a great deal, although I wouldn't be quite so sure that sex work here is always a matter of pure uncomplicated consent and role play. There are people who do make sizable earnings from sex work here, for instance: I know of at least one web site that is devoted to the "business." And it's possible, and maybe even likely that in at least some cases, there is coercion, emotional blackmail, and other forms of emotional abuse involved. Those are not exactly unknown here.

Another complication is the issue of "kink" and role play: it's not merely that there are people that enjoy RPing sex work in SL, but also that the language used -- the pejoratives such as "whore" and "sl*t" -- are often integral to that RP. In other words, people are choosing to represent sex works as "whores" and "sl*ts" -- the actual RP itself denigrates women in the trade, and contributes to the social stigma that is applied to women who are sex workers.

And that points to a larger issue surrounding language: even in SL, even when it is a conscious and free choice to RP a prostitute, or take on a role that reinforces negative social attitudes, the language we use is important. I heartily dislike any role play that reinforces the notion of women in this way because it causes social harm: it reinforces really harmful stereotypes about women's sexuality and social worth, whether it is applied specifically to sex workers, or just more generally. BUT I also recognize and acknowledge that RP is not the same as "real life" interactions and communications, and that it is a woman's right to articulate her sexuality this way if she wants to. (I have more problems when a cis man chooses to play a woman as a "sl*t," but that's a somewhat separate issue.)

I wish women would stop buying into these stereotypes: it contributes to misogyny, sexual violence, and r*pe culture. I wish women wouldn't RP sex workers here. BUT, again, it is their right to do so. What I would hope is that reflecting upon the social harm to which they are contributing might lead them to think twice about doing so.

What I can do, myself, is avoid contributing to that social harm. I will not, myself, use terms such as "whore" or "sl*t," even if that is what a woman chooses to call herself. And that is MY right -- and, I think, my larger social responsibility.

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

I'm actually all for legalizing prostitution.  It should be run like any other service business with licensing and such.

Yep. Agreed. And let's start thinking about is as a service, rather than as the commodification of women's bodies.

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
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12 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

Text is the sexiest medium.

The ONLY thing I regret about my born again virginity in SL (I haven't been involved in SLex for . . . 11 years!) is that it was enormous fun composing sexy/erotic/pornographic text. (I didn't so much enjoy reading it, but maybe I just never found the "right" writing partner.)

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On 12/16/2021 at 12:03 AM, RavenSS22 said:

Hey, used to play a long time ago and have recently been getting on. A lot of friends are currently not active so I’m just looking for a girl who is down to chat and hangout together! I don’t have a lot of places I usually go and well I forget a lot of SL now. So if your interested just leave a message down below and I can add you.

Holy Cra.... er.... well. you got plenty of advice on how to buy a companion. So you are set if that is what you are into.

Just a post ahead of you was someone looking for a sugar-daddy. So...

But, if you are into something more than just a quick hookup... talk to people you see in the forums. You can IM them in-world or in the forum and see how it goes. But, you can meet people at dances and hangouts. There are a number of groups that are about friendships, history, games, role play, furies... find a group you like and see who you meet.

Use the Destination Guide's What's Hot Now to go places where there are lots of people. It is categorized so you can narrow it somewhat to your interests.

A big problem in SL is TIME... as in time-of-day. Since we are from all over the world, time zones tend to influence who we are friends with. So, places that really interest you, check them at different times of day. And put your time zone info in your profile. I look for my UK and German friends when I'm on in my morning.

IM people in-world. If you make a cold contact, provide some reason for why you are contacting them. I am always like, "Who is this?" So, a 'Hi. Got your name from ____ or found your name on the bathroom wall ...' Then say something about what you are interested in, like I wanted to meet you to/and ______.

Having an interesting profile that shows your interests is a big help when you make a cold call. Reading THEIR profile and mentioning shared interests in your first contact helps.

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2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

The ONLY thing I regret about my born again virginity in SL (I haven't been involved in SLex for . . . 11 years!) is that it was enormous fun composing sexy/erotic/pornographic text. (I didn't so much enjoy reading it, but maybe I just never found the "right" writing partner.)

 

Finding the "right" writing partner is the hard part

 

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31 minutes ago, Tori Nova said:

 

Finding the "right" writing partner is the hard part

 

Fortunately, I'm no longer looking, as I'm very happy in RL. 🙂

I should say that the two partners I did have in SL, back in the dark ages, were both really lovely and supportive people, and I valued their company and our relationships for reasons that were quite independent of the sexual aspects.

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6 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

I'm actually all for legalizing prostitution.  It should be run like any other service business with licensing and such.  

Nods, it has been legal here since forever.

(*of course the majority practices it illegally avoiding licensing=obligatory health tests+taxes)

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On 12/16/2021 at 4:33 AM, RavenSS22 said:

Hey, used to play a long time ago and have recently been getting on. A lot of friends are currently not active so I’m just looking for a girl who is down to chat and hangout together! I don’t have a lot of places I usually go and well I forget a lot of SL now. So if your interested just leave a message down below and I can add you.

Hi Raven! Welcome back (welcomebackwelcomebackwelcomeback) I feel a lot of people (like me) coming back feel they're in the same boat - it's a little sad when you realize that just as you left your SL, a lot of your friends have done the same. There's a lot of great advice scattered throughout this thread. But I did want to add one more thing:

Find places similar to old places you used to go to, if the old ones have closed, and chat in local. Engage with people. There's that old saw about 'being yourself' and yadda yadda (and it's quite true) but also what helps forge friendships is a willingness to engage. To just...chat and roll with what is happening in the sim. You might certainly find some people who IM you from here (and I really hope you do!) but people who may IM you just because you've both had great local rapport would be wonderful friends - your personalities align and what-what.

I have babbled a lot. I shall stop.

There are a LOT of other topics in this thread I REALLY want to get into. Gah. The curse of the long time listener/first time caller.

Raven? Good luck, I hope you can find some new friends who warm your heart as much as the old ones did.

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Right...umm on one of the other topics this thread sprawled out into amazingly:

I caught that "Ladies only respect cash" assumption there early on in the thread. And boy that's just...tired. It's as tired as a chicken crossing the road joke. Maybe not but still...I honestly hope you didn't really mean it. That somehow I've misread it. But yeah. That's a whole interesting can of worms.

Scylla made some really nuanced points about sex work in SL and RL and yeah...there is this weird sense of privilege and slumming and like...it's a huuge can of worms to open there too. Throw into that a lot of the assumptions about prostitutes that some people go into their roles with and things can get dicey. And sometimes it comes down to what you want to be called and by who and when. In my life I've had the marvelous fortune of being with exceptionally successful, intelligent, strong women who wanted to be called "*****s" and "wh*res" from time to time. And they were (and still are...obviously) very self reflective and pretty level headed. I can't explain it myself. But yeah. I won't play psychologist on it. And if it's what excites them I'll be curious as to why but I won't press it or try and change them if they know who they are. On the other hand

On the other hand just randomly throwing it out onto someone you barely know? Yikes yikes yikes. That says a lot more about you than them.

Yikes. Umm. TLDR: some thoughts. Maybe mot all very coherent.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, I just wanted to update this and say. I don't know why this exploded into a giant discussion about sex work in SL. But my original intent was really not for that, I've been apart of the community for a little and left and unfortunately relationships I've had and friendships I've had ended due to me leaving, I appreciated the actual advice and or people reaching out, and I'm not trying to promote any debates on the discussion. I only ask that you please just take this to a different forum as I don't really have a interest in harboring this kinda stuff on a simple post I made? I'm really not into the politics of this and I'm only just trying to enjoy my experience on here. 

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20 minutes ago, RavenSS22 said:

Hey, I just wanted to update this and say. I don't know why this exploded into a giant discussion about sex work in SL. But my original intent was really not for that, I've been apart of the community for a little and left and unfortunately relationships I've had and friendships I've had ended due to me leaving, I appreciated the actual advice and or people reaching out, and I'm not trying to promote any debates on the discussion. I only ask that you please just take this to a different forum as I don't really have a interest in harboring this kinda stuff on a simple post I made? I'm really not into the politics of this and I'm only just trying to enjoy my experience on here. 

Well unfortunately the threads here are open to everyone to comment on.  Just go with it and take the info that is relevant to you and leave the rest. 

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On 1/2/2022 at 1:33 AM, RavenSS22 said:

Hey, I just wanted to update this and say. I don't know why this exploded into a giant discussion about sex work in SL. But my original intent was really not for that, I've been apart of the community for a little and left and unfortunately relationships I've had and friendships I've had ended due to me leaving, I appreciated the actual advice and or people reaching out, and I'm not trying to promote any debates on the discussion. I only ask that you please just take this to a different forum as I don't really have a interest in harboring this kinda stuff on a simple post I made? I'm really not into the politics of this and I'm only just trying to enjoy my experience on here. 

It often happens to me too. In the end as I understand 90% of the people here are only interested in the sexual aspect of things, whatever you write they will always bring the talk on that topic. 🙍

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On 12/20/2021 at 5:16 PM, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

OP is looking for someone to hang out with. 

A whore to fck: 1000 L$ an hour
A sex worker's services: 2000 L$ an hour
A classy escort : 3000 L$ an hour

Somebody to hang out with: Priceless

(stolen of Mastercard, I know. My all time favorite:

)

Edited by Caroline Takeda
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On 1/4/2022 at 3:33 AM, Caroline Takeda said:

A sex worker's services: 2000 L$ an hour
A classy escort : 3000 L$ an hour

What exactly differentiates those two categories? Do people actually hire classy escorts on SL?

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5 hours ago, Quistess Alpha said:

What exactly differentiates those two categories? Do people actually hire classy escorts on SL?

My post was meant to be humor, hence doesn't require an academic debate.
I need to work on my humor, obviously.

And yes they do.

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7 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

My post was meant to be humor, hence doesn't require an academic debate.
I need to work on my humor, obviously.

And yes they do.

Yeah I got the humor, the video you posted was hilarious, I need to work on my humor-followup. I have a tendency to want to make everything an academic debate. . .

I am actually curious on the second point though, what are the search-terms or places for more 'classy' companionship for hire? If I'm a Joe and have a decent wad of cash and just want someone to talk to and pretend to like me for a couple hours, what do I do?*

* I'm not saying I am such a Joe, if anything I'm more curious from the other side. Pretending to like someone can be fun, and if it's profitable. . .

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3 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Hey, I do it here for free, all day long.

It's exhausting, I tell ya!

And yet you still do it, so obviously it's fun or you get something else out of it!

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