What would you do if.......

[Gideon McCullough 0]

What would you do if you know a known 30+ year old man is partnered with a known 16 year old girl?

Would you report it?

[Venus Petrov 334]

It depends the nature of the 'partnership' and what you know is absolutely true.  People partner for a variety of reasons.  They might be relatives (cousins or an uncle/niece for example).  Just to partner may mean nothing.

Also, people use the word 'know' alot.  How would you know exactly without knowing the parties you reference in RL?

If I knew these people in RL and I knew that the man was doing something he should not be doing with this 16 year old girl, I would most likely report them to RL legal authorities.

[Marigold Devin 5,715]

While it would be frowned upon in the UK, it isn't illegal, so no I wouldn't report it.

However, having said that, context is key, and if I knew the 30 year old man to be the 16 year old girl's teacher, I'd probably have a word with his school.

That sounds like I'm being contradictory, but context is key. It really does depend what sort of partnership they have. In SL, it mustn't be assumed that all partnerships are based on sexual relationships, and it could be the 30 year old is partnered to the 16 year old to protect her in SL.

[Gideon McCullough 0]

Well, they have both revealed their rl ages at different times.  He is in the States, she is in UK.  They proclaim lovey dovey, so their not related....

It just turns my stomach.

If I were her father I'd hunt him down

 

Oh.. I should have mentioned the 16 year old girl also portays herself as a child av

[Marigold Devin 5,715]

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Gideon McCullough wrote:

Well, they have both revealed their rl ages at different times.  He is in the States, she is in UK.  They proclaim lovey dovey, so their not related....

It just turns my stomach.

If I were her father I'd hunt him down

 

Oh.. I should have mentioned the 16 year old girl also portays herself as a child av

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Yeouch and the nerve is hit!

Lovey Dovey as in "I love my daughter" "I love my dad", or ...?

If you've got the proof, profile content, visual screenshot, then you have to do an AR. LL can follow up the rest.

[Storm Clarence 495]

I read your signature and I can only ask one question - how do you "know" their ages?  Or are you substituting your own reality?

[Gideon McCullough 0]

I am taking what they proclaim as truth to be so.. they have both stated their ages to be true

[Storm Clarence 495]

Then I would AR their asses.

[amana1488303110 5]

I think both be AR'd and tell them to move to Queensland.

[LoveAngeL Lyre 781]

AR for both without second thought.

[Mayalily 2]

I'd be upset and most likely bring the question here as you did, and I would take their advice.  Sorry if you feel upset, but you did the right thing, and you can only do so much so don't put all the responsibility of what happens on the internet on your own shoulders.  Make a report and take some deep breaths, and know that you are a good person for trying to help. 

[AOXOMOXOA Ansar 0]

what would I do?   probably not a damned thing....why are you so concerned...as it's really none of your beeswax... Butt out and mind your own affairs and you'll be plenty busy enough...either that or hunt the guy down in RL and go medieval on him with a blow torch and a tire iron.....Seriously...if you can't decide which course of action is best,  get yourself a nice Ouija board..that's how I make all my crucial life decisions :  xoxox `moxie`  astrologer to the stars

[Celestiall Nightfire 21]

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Gideon McCullough wrote:

What would you do if you know a known 30+ year old man is partnered with a known 16 year old girl?

Would you report it?

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1)  Nothing

2)  No.

 

First, I can't actually "know" how old these people are unless I know them in RL and see a copy of their birth certificate.  (even then no guarantees)

Second, what other people do in SL...is not my concern. 

I pretty much don't care if a 16-year-old dates a 30-year-old in RL...so why would I care if they are "partnered" in SL?     (my own mother eloped at age 17 with my father who was 25...and they still married... : )   Don't judge these people...it's none of your business.  

 

[Nacy Nightfire 141]

If these two are actually adults involved in some odd (and to me unsettling) role play, they should be doing it in private IM, since I doubt anyone else is enjoying their  "game".    Any two adults who are being "exhibitionistic" with this kind of kinky roleplay have to know they are running the risk they will be AR'd  and I'd not hesitate to do the job. They can sort it all out with LL at their leisure.

And, if they are the ages they represent they are, no question its reportable.  Any 16 year old who doesn't understand how unacceptable this age difference is, where in many places the relationship is actually illegal, isn't exhibiting a great deal of intelligence or maturity or discretion by revealing his/her age and is at risk.

[Pussycat Catnap 5,174]

Whether or not any RL laws apply here is a very convoluted analysis comparing US and UK and how far each would consider itself to reach. And also whether or not they've had any RL contact (but that isn't necessary for some laws).

However, the US is unlikely to care if what the US considers a minor is an adult in her own country. Were the male here to travel to the UK to consumate things, he'd be at risk on returning home - and there's even a special part of anti-sex-tourism laws carved out for those who travel abroad seeking underaged partners.

 

But in SL there are 4 ToS violations that could apply.

They might both be in trouble if she pretends to be under 18 in SL.

They might both be in trouble if she is under 18 in RL.

SHE might be in trouble if she is under 18 in RL and pretends to have a RL age over 18 when in SL.

SHE might be in trouble if she is over 18 in RL but in SL claims she her RL age is under 18.

(Note how this is different from playing a child AV. The violation is claiming your RL age is not what it really is. There is no violation in claiming your -avatar- is a different age from your RL self.)

 

So at this point, its best to AR and let the Lindens determine which if any scenarios apply.

 

This is one among many reasons why SL is best -NOT- treated at match.com with poseballs...

 

[AOXOMOXOA Ansar 0]

I'd run and tell the teacher and hope it earned me some brownie points:)) 

[Wildcat Furse 90]

...............I would go back to bed *meows*

[Mayalily 2]

Some other things to consider if this happens to you again or anyone is the question "why are they getting you involved"?  Are they trying to upset you?  Freak (grief) on you?   Because why did they get you involved when most likely they know they will get reported? 

(Of course, it's mostly the child avi thing that is weird in the context of this scenario.)

I'd consider your scenario a type of griefing and report it anyways, tho.  But be advised or forewarned that this could make the griefing situation worse for you such as they get alts and go to different wireless places or friends/relatives houses and computers.   It's unfortunate, but some griefers can be relentless because that is what they like to do on the internet grief or try to hack.  All kinds of weirdos on the internet.  That's just part of the internet and why I never want people involved in my rl when I'm on the internet.  My rl is none of any bodies business nor are my computer components (I will not give out that information).  This is my SL, not RL.  If you want to know about my art or hobbies that's fine, but don't ask me personal questions or tell me you are with a 16-year-old girl.  As I've thought about this further, if someone did that to me, I'd consider them a griefer. 

[Jacki Silverfall 72]

Don't care, I'm not the SL police, let LL take care of it if they don't like it. :smileyindifferent:

[Sylvia Tamalyn 17,749]

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Jacki Silverfall wrote:

Don't care, I'm not the SL police, let LL take care of it if they don't like it. :smileyindifferent:

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Yep, what Jacki said.

[Melita Magic 27]

Familiar with the documentary talhotblonde? 

That "16 year old female" could as well be middle aged. Some people sound very young on voice, but are not. No, I am not speaking from experience, but haven't you seen a you tube video, and then the person goes on camera and look totally different than they sounded. In other words, she could just be puffing him up with some fantasy.

Then again she could be under age and doing adult things in SL against the TOS.

I am not going to tell you what to do or even what I would do. I do not really know what I would do. I'd like to say that I'd AR it, but, how do I know either of them are telling the truth. At the end of the day, just decide what to do, and then move on. 

[Nacy Nightfire 141]

Well I think the more interesting question is why anyone but these two people are aware of their ages.  Are they flaunting it? (for all we know the 16 year old girl is a 45 year old cop). 

I've never been in a situation where my SL friends have publicly discussed their age and their partner's age in context with their relationship.  I have men tell me they discovered to their horror they were told after the fact that they were involved with a "claimed" minor..they then dropped the relationship like a hot potato.  Again, maybe they were griefed by some 22 year old guy..who knows.  But if someone is waving a gun around in public, I don't care if its a toy gun or real, I'm calling 911.

I suppose it may be "none of my business", but despite the ultimate responsibility lying with the parents, I'd appreciate it if some kind stranger AR'd my hypothetical teenage daughter if she, unbeknownst to me, found herself in SL and claiming to be sldating a 30 year old man.

[amana1488303110 5]

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Nacy Nightfire wrote:

I suppose it may be "none of my business", but despite the ultimate responsibility lying with the parents, I'd appreciate it if some kind stranger AR'd my hypothetical teenage daughter if she, unbeknownst to me, found herself in SL and claiming to be sldating a 30 year old man.

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Unfortunately, not every parents who used SL are here to be responsible parents. Most come to escape their real life responsibility. I suppose turning their heads away from these kind of situations is another way of them coping from dealing what comes close to home.

Most are here to re-lived their teenage years.

[Knowl Paine 455]

If it is a violation of the TOS or CS I would report it.

SL is a Community, what we allow to be considered as ethical behavior will be the measure by which SL will be judged.

I cannot imagine what a 30+ year old man and a 16 year old girl might have in common.

If you can't find people your own age who find you interesting then there is something wrong with you.

 

 

[Dillon Levenque 1,703]

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Knowl Paine wrote:

If you can't find people your own age who find you interesting then there is something wrong with you.

 

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? It's SL. For most of us that means our RL age is not really an issue. I would guess, just based on how I feel, that most of my friends are probably in a range spanning about 30 or 40 years—say 20's to 60's. We all seem to interest each other.

The question of the OP I really can't answer. I do think if I actually knew a 16 year old girl in RL was 'dating' a 30 year old man in RL I'd try to find a way to make sure her parents knew about it. It would bother me. I have no idea how anyone can know the RL age of an SL avatar without knowing the person in RL.