How do other people react to your avatars?

[Echelon Alcott]

14 minutes ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

I do. Twice in fact. In my 1st Life tab, and one whole Pick devoted to the subject.

I've seen Katherine's profile. It is mentioned in there, for the ones who are interested in knowing a bit more about the person behind the avatar. But as Katherine indicated, some people seem to prefer to simply focus on the illusion, without bothering with the actual soul.

[Ayeleeon]

20 hours ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Had one tonight who said he was upset that I actually told him I'm male. Like he wanted to be fooled.

OMG, guys, make up your minds!

Men, sheesh ...

🙄

I get this, I do not care who is behind the avi, it isn't about being fooled, it is accepting everyone the way they want to present themselves. I had a friend once who always used a cat avatar. I knew he wasnt really a cat, but I still thought of him as a cat.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

It seems to me that both approaches to this -- accepting the "illusion," or wanting to know what the RL "reality" is -- are entirely legitimate. What is problematic is when you begin to expect that others will comply with your notion of which is more important.

In terms of the so-called illusion, it's always seemed to me that how one chooses to represent in SL, regardless of what that representation is, says something about oneself. If one represents as a cat, it's rather literal minded to dismiss that as a "falsehood." Of course it is. ANY digital representation is, in a literal sense, a falsehood. But if you've chosen to "be" a cat, it's because there is something about "cats" that appeals to you, and that in some way speaks to a part of how you think of yourself. Not, obviously, in a literal way, but possibly in terms even of your personal associations with the concept of the "cat."

In terms of gender shifting, there can be a myriad of reasons why people do it, ranging all the way from gender dysphoria, to enjoying playing dress-up dolls. They're all legit. What can be problematic is when we begin to misrepresent an identity that is not ours -- using racialized or gendered stereotypes, for instance, to inform how we represent another identity.

But I think it's entirely cool that Katherine prefers to be frank about her RL gender. And I entirely understand someone not wanting to know that.

That these two approaches are incompatible means that the two people concerned are probably incompatible -- not that one or the other approach is "wrong."

Edited December 20, 2021 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Charalyne Blackwood]

I just show up and if people notice me I'm good. If they don't I'm still good.

[asteriddle]

i occasionally get ims that my avatar is cute/pretty and it really makes my day :'3

probably the best reactions i've gotten are from people familiar with touhou who tell me my avatar's main outfit reminds them of a touhou character, cuz that's like, my goal LOL

[Nick0678]

Some random dude @ Warehouse Event.

(6 months only positive comments, no h4t3r$ so far)

[Ayeleeon]

From time to time I get compliments on Ayeleeon's look from ladies, but recently something new and unique. A guy told me my avatar was sexy, and invited me to join him and his wife in the activity they were doing.

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

A couple of days ago, I was IMed by a man at a club.

He wanted me to move because I was getting in the way of his dancing.

[Charalyne Blackwood]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

A couple of days ago, I was IMed by a man at a club.

He wanted me to move because I was getting in the way of his dancing.

Right, because SL collision physics are as brutal as they are in COD...

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Charalyne Blackwood said:

Right, because SL collision physics are as brutal as they are in COD...

I think I was harshing his buzz. He was looking very pretty on the dance floor, and I was interfering with that!

[Charalyne Blackwood]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think I was harshing his buzz. He was looking very pretty on the dance floor, and I was interfering with that!

The horror!

[BranScanlon]

17 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

From time to time I get compliments on Ayeleeon's look from ladies, but recently something new and unique. A guy told me my avatar was sexy, and invited me to join him and his wife in the activity they were doing.

 

Thanks for posting this Ayeleeon. This has happened to me like...a few times now since I've been back, and I thought..."wow...SL has really changed while I've been away." I'm glad to see that someone here finds it new. And also - not just wives, but...my friend over there in the corner, for instance, or...something similar. It's flattering...I think? But I am so curious. How did this become a thing?

Edited December 28, 2021 by BranScanlon
removed "quite a few times" from the sentence, cause that makes me sound like a conceited cat

[Ayeleeon]

10 minutes ago, BranScanlon said:

How did this become a thing?

One factor might be an increase in animations that even make it possible. Perhaps before they were not that common, and now more so. 

[Ayeleeon]

14 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think I was harshing his buzz. He was looking very pretty on the dance floor, and I was interfering with that!

Well let me just go on record to say you can harsh my buzz any time.

[Ayeleeon]

Yesterday I was told my hair was strange and might be a turn off. 

[Nalates Urriah]

10 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

Yesterday I was told my hair was strange and might be a turn off. 

Your hair is OK. No matter what you do with your hair, someone is not going to like it.

[Ayeleeon]

24 minutes ago, Nalates Urriah said:

Your hair is OK. No matter what you do with your hair, someone is not going to like it.

The context of that remark is that I was at a club looking for a dance partner and my IMs to the young ladies standing around were being ignored. Finally as it was almost time for me to log off for the night. Another lady showed up, and I made one last attempt to at least get a conversation, for the few minutes I had left. She did respond, and when I thanked her for that, and mentioned my prior unsuccessful efforts, she suggested that might be why.

[Nick0678]

9 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

The context of that remark is that I was at a club looking for a dance partner and my IMs to the young ladies standing around were being ignored. Finally as it was almost time for me to log off for the night. Another lady showed up, and I made one last attempt to at least get a conversation, for the few minutes I had left. She did respond, and when I thanked her for that, and mentioned my prior unsuccessful efforts, she suggested that might be why.

Aww and i thought that people in SL are interested to know someones character and avatar looks is not a priority... Don't worry man your avatar hair is fine, you simply were wasting your time talking to women that should be ignored. That is all.

Edited January 11, 2022 by Nick0678

[Kathlen Onyx]

1 hour ago, Ayeleeon said:

The context of that remark is that I was at a club looking for a dance partner and my IMs to the young ladies standing around were being ignored. Finally as it was almost time for me to log off for the night. Another lady showed up, and I made one last attempt to at least get a conversation, for the few minutes I had left. She did respond, and when I thanked her for that, and mentioned my prior unsuccessful efforts, she suggested that might be why.

Then I guess it's up to you to decide whether or not that is advantageous for you to change it or simply shrug it off and decide whether those people are people that you would want to talk to anyway.

Now, of course if your only reason for contacting these women is to do the bumpety bump bump with them then it might be suggested that you change your style as women are visual creatures ya know.  I wouldn't be doing anything sexual with a noobie avatar who carries around holding a boom box but that's just me. Might be shallow but it's honest.

Edited January 11, 2022 by Sam1 Bellisserian
added thought

[LilNosferatu]

35 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

The context of that remark is that I was at a club looking for a dance partner and my IMs to the young ladies standing around were being ignored. Finally as it was almost time for me to log off for the night. Another lady showed up, and I made one last attempt to at least get a conversation, for the few minutes I had left. She did respond, and when I thanked her for that, and mentioned my prior unsuccessful efforts, she suggested that might be why.

I actually really like your hairstyle, it has some personality to it.

Like Nalates said, you'll never find a single hairstyle that appeals to everyone. Sometimes we just aren't lucky enough to find someone we click with, and that's okay. You might return to that same place another time and find 5 ladies to dance with!  As long as YOU like your hair/avatar and feel like it helps you express yourself the way you want to, that's all that matters.

[PixieGirrrrl]

This is the type of conversations I am fascinated by! 

How we are judged and how people interact with us based on appearance. It applies to both RL and SL I think.

For the record, I am quite a sociable person on SL and I will happily IM someone, regardless of gender or species, if there is something interesting about their avatar that has caught my attention, or if there's something relatable on their profile. 

Occasionally people might think I am being flirty, but often you can be pleasantly surprised with a fun chat or make a new friend, so it's totally worth it IMHO. 

In terms of how people react to me, I present myself as petite, cute and sexy, so as expected I get some attention from guys and sometimes from other girls. I obviously dress for myself, but I know how I look can prompt a certain reaction and that's fine, as long as people are respectful and nice. If not, then that's what the block button is for!

[PixieGirrrrl]

19 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

The context of that remark is that I was at a club looking for a dance partner and my IMs to the young ladies standing around were being ignored. Finally as it was almost time for me to log off for the night. Another lady showed up, and I made one last attempt to at least get a conversation, for the few minutes I had left. She did respond, and when I thanked her for that, and mentioned my prior unsuccessful efforts, she suggested that might be why.

Haha, yeah clearly that was just her opinion. There's a multitude of reasons why you might not have received a reply from someone that particular night. People being AFK, engrossed in other IM chats, on voice, or just not wanting to be disturbed etc. I wouldn't take it too personally.

As long as you are respectful and polite, people will be happy to talk with you. One suggestion though is maybe not open with an invitation to dance. I would much rather someone engaged me in a conversation first, and then if we hit it off, maybe move to the dancefloor afterwards. 

[Ayeleeon]

27 minutes ago, PixieGirrrrl said:

maybe not open with an invitation to dance.

Ok, I actually didnt do that, and was wondering if maybe I should, but i guess not.

[Maitimo]

21 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

Yesterday I was told my hair was strange and might be a turn off. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with your hair.

I suspect the main reason is that your avatar is male, and therefore the women are suspecting you're fishing for sex.

[Ayeleeon]

29 minutes ago, Maitimo said:

I don't think there's anything wrong with your hair.

I suspect the main reason is that your avatar is male, and therefore the women are suspecting you're fishing for sex.

Maybe, but why are they standing around in a place where people dance? Sometimes I wonder if part of the issue is that this account does not have payment info attached. Of my three accounts only one does, I see no reason to add it more than that, it is easy enough to transfer Lindens. If they are looking for a Sugar Daddy though I am not thier guy anyway.