Misleading Profiles

[Extrude Ragu]

I've never really understood people who write what their personality is in their profile. It's like, what personality people think they have vs what they actually have rarely match and I'll only end up drawing my own conclusions anyway after talking to you myself.

Why not write in your profile what you do? Do you have interests we could connect over? A hobby? What do you spend your time doing? What do you hope to spend your time doing?

[Rolig Loon]

2 hours ago, Extrude Ragu said:

I've never really understood people who write what their personality is in their profile. It's like, what personality people think they have vs what they actually have rarely match and I'll only end up drawing my own conclusions anyway after talking to you myself.

Aspirational statements can be valuable clues.  If you know what a person thinks of herself, you at least have a starting point for knowing who they really are.  Someone who says "I am a good listener," for example, is at least telling you that she thinks this is a worthwhile trait.  She's saying, "I like to think of myself as a good listener, even when I don't live up to that expectation."  She's also telling you that she values that trait in other people -- like you, maybe.

My own name is an aspirational statement.  In Swedish, "rolig" means "funny," as in a funny story.  In Danish, it means "calm". I don't think of myself as either funny or calm, but when I chose that name in SL, both were on my mind. Maybe I could be more "rolig" in SL than I am in RL.  😎

[Lewis Luminos]

On 10/1/2021 at 10:38 AM, So Whimsy said:

Now I'm curious, did she respond to that?

She didn't.

[Ceka Cianci]

I mostly skim profiles to get to the pictures.. hehehe

I see a lot that try to give some sort of life wisdom to whoever is reading it or advice.. I'll usually just pass that over because after years of reading profiles, There just isn't much more to give me.. hehehe

I do love the pictures a lot and also the ones that have a really good sense of humor.. I love witty people..

[Nalates Urriah]

Language... The most accurate and useful part of the profile is language. What is your first language? I can pick up language if they have written their profile in their first language. At least I assume it is their first or preferred.

Some days I am not into using or dealing with a translator.

I am surprised no one mentioned that profiles are a part of a person's role-play and may say absolutely nothing relatable about the RL person.

When we start to talk about what a person must REALLY be like from what they wrote in their profile... we are revealing our self, our biases, prejudices, and projecting our world view on them. We say way more about our self than them.

I think reading a profile as anything other than a statement of what they want in SL and an obtuse clue about their true nature and how they want to play is WAY over thinking it.

On 9/22/2021 at 2:30 PM, Iggy UwU said:

...

with my profile in SL, i constantly edit my profile because i like to keep up-to-date on my information that i like posting and when my interests vary in SL at a certain time. also, i can never choose an aesthetic or theme for my profile since i am THAT person.
i wonder if anyone does the same, honestly.

I have 4 or 5 profiles, I change depending on what I am doing and am interested in that day.

Empty Profiles.. How many of us say something to those with empty profiles? If they are new, I will say something.

Notes... How many of you keep notes on those you meet? I do for those I spend more than ~5 minutes talking to.

[Echelon Alcott]

11 hours ago, Nalates Urriah said:

Notes... How many of you keep notes on those you meet? I do for those I spend more than ~5 minutes talking to.

How reliable are notes these days? In the past I've tried to keep notes on different profiles, but they seem to vanish after a while. Has anyone else had similar experience?

[Kathlen Onyx]

2 minutes ago, Echelon Alcott said:

How reliable are notes these days? In the past I've tried to keep notes on different profiles, but they seem to vanish after a while. Has anyone else had similar experience?

I've never had notes disappear.

[Nalates Urriah]

12 hours ago, Echelon Alcott said:

How reliable are notes these days? In the past I've tried to keep notes on different profiles, but they seem to vanish after a while. Has anyone else had similar experience?

All may notes seem to remain in place.

[Katherine Heartsong]

On 10/8/2021 at 12:13 PM, Nalates Urriah said:

Notes... How many of you keep notes on those you meet? I do for those I spend more than ~5 minutes talking to.

I tend to make notes on a number of people's profiles. It's remembering to look at them when I meet that person later that I always fail at.  

[missyrideout]

I make more negative notes than positive. Every time someone makes a dumb joke response to a question in a support group, I put an X. If I open a profile and it already has an X, I mute them. Perfect example of how my main avatar is not really as easygoing as her profile advertises, lol

 

[Nick0678]

Ahhh .. yes. Plain and simple.

[Myth Valeska]

On 9/18/2021 at 11:52 AM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

The one that cracks me up the most is when you are at an adult club/nookie spot and are approached by someone with "BLAH is my soulmate, i am totally theirs and will never cheat on them." As they ask you for some poseball action. I actually sent a snapshot of the two of us in a very interesting position to their partner. He was less than pleased. 

Something I see on SL ALL THE TIME is people who are married in RL and often in the RL portion of their profile will say they are married to their soulmate/love of their life..........you will NEVER come between them etc etc and and yet they have or are looking for a SL husband/Boyfriend.......if you are already with the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, why the hell are you looking for someone else in SL?????

[Nick0678]

3 hours ago, Velvet Voxel said:

.if you are already with the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, why the hell are you looking for someone else in SL?????

Because they simply are bored with their RL but want to act like everything is fine.

Same thing goes for many who claim in their profile that they won't do pixelsex, or they won't do Skype sex etc.

I 've met plenty all these years with such profiles and we had some great memories on skype. (or they had pixelsex with other men that i know.)

[LilithServil]

On 9/16/2021 at 4:22 PM, Prokofy Neva said:

Whenever I see a profile that says "I'm outgoing, kind, generous, brave, trustworthy" etc. -- like they're in the Boy Scout handbook -- I instantly think "They must be the opposite".

I wonder what kind of self-regard one has to have to write these complicated profiles like "I'm very shy but given the right set of circumstances I can blossom like a flower" or "I'm a shape-shifter" blah blah -- what ARE they thinking? If you put "I'm a shape-shifter" I'm going to assume that you are a retired postal clerk in Columbus, OH lol.

One of my favourite profiles recently from an artist said very simply, "I'm here for me, not you." Boy, was that perfect! Perfect! If I weren't in business, I'd use that one.

I've seen a lot of great ones really, and then so many fake ones...

 

Like, to an extent I get this general line of thinking, but at the same time it's not that black and white, at least in my opinion. I personally have stuff in my profile saying I'm shy and such because... Well, I am. I deal with social anxiety especially in crowds so I make certain traits like that known from the get-go, it just makes me feel more comfortable tbh more than anything to have it out there. I also have a couple lines about my rl partners as I'm not physically partnered on sl-- I feel it's a lot simpler (and preferable to me) to just have it in my profile instead of only being able to partner one of two people.

As for the "I'm a shapeshifter" thing, I take it that means the person changes avatars/names a lot? I also have it in my profile that I do both occasionally but I don't rp publicly so even with a new name/look I'm not a different person/not going to behave differently whether I'm in a female avatar, one of my few male avs, or a feral creature. ^^; 

That's just my own take on it though. Profiles are only a small snippet of who the person is anyway, I feel like I suck hardcore at writing any kind of bio for myself and I'm sure others feel the same way and prefer to actually socialize in-world. It just feels like it's a requirement as some people are put off by blank profiles.

[Prokofy Neva]

On 10/17/2021 at 6:57 AM, LilithServil said:

 

Like, to an extent I get this general line of thinking, but at the same time it's not that black and white, at least in my opinion. I personally have stuff in my profile saying I'm shy and such because... Well, I am. I deal with social anxiety especially in crowds so I make certain traits like that known from the get-go, it just makes me feel more comfortable tbh more than anything to have it out there. I also have a couple lines about my rl partners as I'm not physically partnered on sl-- I feel it's a lot simpler (and preferable to me) to just have it in my profile instead of only being able to partner one of two people.

As for the "I'm a shapeshifter" thing, I take it that means the person changes avatars/names a lot? I also have it in my profile that I do both occasionally but I don't rp publicly so even with a new name/look I'm not a different person/not going to behave differently whether I'm in a female avatar, one of my few male avs, or a feral creature. ^^; 

That's just my own take on it though. Profiles are only a small snippet of who the person is anyway, I feel like I suck hardcore at writing any kind of bio for myself and I'm sure others feel the same way and prefer to actually socialize in-world. It just feels like it's a requirement as some people are put off by blank profiles.

All your points are valid, I think, but still, there's this: they can still be misleading.

People write that they are shy or socially anxious and yet behave aggressively and obnoxiously  on the forums and inworld -- that's a form of shy, introverted behaviour? Ok. But why even go through all that descriptive work which is actually prescriptive? When you go beyond any superficial social encounter with someone in SL and have a longer conversation, these things become clear.

I'd have to say that more than the "I'm shy" or "I'm a shape-sifter" stuff, I find the valorous ones the most suspect. The claims that one is generous, kind, broad-minded, not prone to anger, etc. etc. -- all on the way to being in fact outrageous, and getting into their picks, you then find all the undoing of their claims of tolerance with things like insistence that a date have the latest mesh body and fashionable clothes and "attachments". Etc.

All social media is prone to this, of course, but SL, being in real-time interactive 3D, has worse forms of it.

 

[Echelon Alcott]

I'll change my profile to simply "Come talk to me and find out who I really am!" 

[Kathlen Onyx]

Second Life profiles are basically just one misleading statement after another.  Is the profile about the RL person or their avatar? Do they put in their profile what they are like or what they want others to perceive them to be?

I basically read profiles for entertainment and take all profiles with a grain of salt.

One person I know changes their profile nearly 3 times a day putting in all sorts of conflicting information in as to what they had before. It's really very humorous. 

It's really all a farce.

[Orwar]

3 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

Second Life profiles are basically just one misleading statement after another.

   Someone IMed me the other day when I was out and about with a friend. She'd apparently read my profile, as her ice breaker was to ask what would happen if two misanthropes were to meet. I said it generally depends on whether either of the two fail to impress the other. She said it would probably lead to hate. I pointed out that hate is much too passionate, and that it would more likely result in indifference. She then declared that she passionately hates all people in the world. When I then asked her to elaborate, since she was A) at a very crowded club and B) seemingly trying to make connections, she declared that she had to go to bed and poofed.

   Her profile, which I peeked at as we spoke, stated that she was happy to meet people and was looking for friends (something along those lines, it was the generic sort of stuff without any memorable details).

   So, was her profile misleading, or were she just so eager to appear agreeable when targeting me, that her performance became misguided?

[ValKalAstra]

57 minutes ago, Orwar said:

 Her profile, which I peeked at as we spoke, stated that she was happy to meet people and was looking for friends (something along those lines, it was the generic sort of stuff without any memorable details).

   So, was her profile misleading, or were she just so eager to appear agreeable when targeting me, that her performance became misguided?

Seems more like the ancient art of the quiet part. She was happy to meet people to make miserable and look down upon. She was looking for friends to hate. Nah, joking aside - don't know her and it was extrapolated from interactions like that. Too often, someone will try to appear unapproachable and standoffish in the desperate hope that someone persists past their walls. So to me it's less misleading and more a cry for help to push past the abrasiveness.

*adjusts glasses* At least that's what my armchair degree says about the matter.

Going through the thread, it seems that profiles are a sure-fire way to scare people away. Whether there's something in them or not, someone is going to be annoyed by it. To me they're a form of self expression, a bit of cheeky humour and an excuse to peddle my craptastic screenshots as pick pics.

Likewise I am always happy to find people's creations in there, from their Flickr to their marketplace, or just genuinely well written profiles - I do enjoy creative sorts.

 

[Ayeleeon]

On 10/17/2021 at 12:00 AM, Velvet Voxel said:

if you are already with the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, why the hell are you looking for someone else in SL?????

Perhaps the RL love of their life has no interest in SL, but they enjoy it. They might want to roleplay a situation like they have in RL in SL, but of course they need to do that with someone else. They want to make it clear however that the SL roleplay, stays in SL.

[Nick0678]

17 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

It's really all a farce.

I am sure nobody takes avatar names / profiles / gender / looks etc seriously.. That would simply be naive.

Edited October 20, 2021 by Nick0678

[Kathlen Onyx]

5 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

I am sure nobody takes avatar names / profiles / gender / looks etc seriously.. That would simply be naive.

Insane really.

[Zeta Vandyke]

On 10/2/2021 at 2:07 PM, Extrude Ragu said:

I've never really understood people who write what their personality is in their profile.

 

Is that not the whole purpose of a profile?

[Nalates Urriah]

On 10/20/2021 at 5:33 AM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

Insane really.

That is a pretty good indicator of a mental disconnect on the part of those people... so, yeah.

I would like to say 'no one takes Role Play all that seriously.' But having been in various RP games I've seen a number of blazing OOC arguments rage for weeks if not months with people banned from the game then continuing outside the RP game and support forum.

There is no firm line that divides what is RP in SL and what isn't. For some everything in SL is RP. For others it is a mix. And I suppose some try to be their real self in SL... whether their butt is truly that size or not. So, I agree with Sam. Anyone that has lost touch with those facts has a mental problem. They should report immediately to Lucy in the Peanuts region.

 

[victoravatar]

They are just trying to describe themselves.