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Why do ppl have the need to lie when isn't even necessary?


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On 9/7/2021 at 6:06 AM, Orwar said:

   Either they consider the real reason none of your business and substitute it with something else, or they're speaking the truth and you're being paranoid. Does it really matter, though? The point is that they're busy or unable/unwilling to log on, that's all you really need to know.

Naw, re read what I wrote, you missinterpreted it

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So, if those "silly excuses" were actually the truth (and you have no facts to say they weren't) and you just wanted a "I was busy" no details answer, why bother asking? Obviously they were busy, that's why they didn't log in. If you don't want an answer, don't ask the question. 

That's like asking someone how their weekend was and getting pissed they told you what they did. 

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To be fair regardless how some view Second Life, others see this as a place to act/be something different then in real life & enjoy their "me time" to do what ever their interests are. It does seem a lot easier to say "It's really none of your business." or something along those lines, yet a lot of people get offended at others telling them such things. People forget that they don't have the right to know just because they asked. If I'm not wanting to hang out with someone I will tell them I'm busy even if I'm not. I've had people get emotional when I stated I didn't want to hang out with them, they then would ask a stupid question afterwards like "Why don't you want to hang out with me?" ect when in REALITY people don't need a reason they just simply don't want to. I've even had people unfriend me after telling them I didn't want their company. So you ask why people say they don't want to log or that they're busy it's because more then not people don't like that fact that people don't want to be around them at the moments they asked.

Edited by Jaulistine
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On 9/7/2021 at 1:59 AM, Adrian Rowley said:

I have some friends that lie constantly about the silliest things. Why do ppl do that? They keep giving excuses why they don't log, or why they are busy etc. If I'm busy I just say so. If I am not able or wanting to log to a specific account I dont go around giving silly excuses. Maybe they do it not to hurt our feelings but after 15 years...do they think that approach still works?. What it does is make ppl feel silly...they dont even have to give me an excuse...who asked you for it? -_-

be happy when they cán hang out or talk, and be happy when they can't, you'll have time for others( or yourself)
If you don't hang your friendships on avalability they will be better, smoother and give a better life.

"Friend" doesn't mean "be here when i want you here".. better create a alt for that.
Instead of calling them to the stand  ..( :) ) say something like, glad you'r here, missed you past week. Don't put them in a situation to give unwanted details.

I'm always pretty open about my rl, but when people ask questions that come to close, or for that moment/ person, i  tell something thats not completely the truth. That's no lie but telling in a polite way that it's not their business, and for social interaction that's accepted in RL too.
The well known "hi how are you" .. you get nearly always a lie.. nearly nobody will tell the real answer on that question. I often do.. and you get real strange reactions, people don't expect you tell the truth on that one.

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On 9/25/2021 at 6:41 AM, Gabriel Isodo said:

SL is a lie. Playing SL is lying.

What do you mean by lie ? In RL I know what is a lie. It is something not true. But in SL it is fantasie and imagination. Maybe something real is a lie?

I'm the same in SL as I am in RL. I am not a fantasy or someone's imagination. 

Hopefully you do realize you are included in your own assessment. 

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9 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I'm the same in SL as I am in RL. I am not a fantasy or someone's imagination. 

Hopefully you do realize you are included in your own assessment. 

Do you looks like a wolf in RL as you looks in your profile ?

Is it your BIO in RL the same as in your profile ?

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47 minutes ago, Arkam said:

Do you looks like a wolf in RL as you looks in your profile ?

Is it your BIO in RL the same as in your profile ?

LOL There isn't any personal bio on the profile of this account. This account is not my main. It's the one I use for adjusting animations in things I make. Years ago... like 2009 years ago, I was going to use the account for RP but it never panned out so it's back to being a test dummy. If I want to leave some ancient never used bio on an alt, that's what I'm going to do.

A profile doesn't change my personality or who I am. At the end of the day, I'm still me. If you can't deal with that, not my problem.

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  • 5 weeks later...
5 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Hi my name is Ceka and I just liar liar pants on fired erbody in this thread..

Or did I?

Hmmm..

what-to-do-while-playing-the-freshman-ho

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@Adrian Rowley Your questions may be simple and innocuous in your thinking. But that is only half the interaction. You have  no idea what is going on in their mind, what their upbringing may have trained them to think in response to such questions.

Personally I take such questions as an opportunity to mess with someone. So my answers are totally fictitious and random. While I may have been doing the mundane things of life like cooking or cleaning and just didn't feel like logging in I'll likely claim I was at a group sex party with Allison Mack... ...its Second Lie... er... Life 😂

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have someone on my friends list I have been talking to on and off for the past 18 months or so. Every so often, he tells me how old he is in real life. Every time, it's a completely different age. It's none of my business how old he is but if you are going to give me unsolicited personal information don't lie repeatedly. Brings to mind a couple of points. Liars need good memories. And when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

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4 hours ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

Every time, it's a completely different age. It's none of my business how old he is but if you are going to give me unsolicited personal information don't lie repeatedl

I suppose it's part of his SL Roleplay. Second Life is our stage. I also like to tell multiple different stories while interacting with people in SL and it's fun to do so, of course those that we have met in RL know who i am.

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On 10/27/2021 at 8:26 PM, Nalates Urriah said:

I'll likely claim I was at a group sex party with Allison Mack... ...its Second Lie... er... Life

/me knocks the door.. Hello i 'm here for the gang bang.

 

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On 9/6/2021 at 7:59 PM, Adrian Rowley said:

They keep giving excuses why they don't log, or why they are busy

Maybe they are logging but don't want you to know. I had a friend who gave me excuses why she couldn't be on, then hid her online status from me and logged on anyway.

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 I am incredibly ambivalent about this topic.  I will say that if you are someone's sl friend and are just an acquaintance;  the correct thing is not to ask where they have been.  But to introduce the conversation in a different angle:

Original question: "Hey haven't seen you online,  what were you doing?"  Better question, "Hey!  Long time no see, hope everything is alright!"  You invite the person to open up.  Now assume that if the person doesn't want you to know they are going to either just go "I'm doing fine," and continue on as if nothing happened.  If they want to tell you what they want to tell you let them. The person has to be the one to open up.

However,  if you already know someone for five years, I hope the relationship is slightly different.  By then there should be more RL information or at least a better understanding of boundaries.  But yeah I totally get pissed when guys just ghost and then come back as though the relationship is at the same level. Do not expect me to behave like we are still a couple when you disappeared out of SL for a year and never even took the opportunity to state 'Hey my rl is getting busy, I will have to step back for a bit."  At least respect the person behind the other side of the screen. You don't need to tell them your full life, just let them know you are going away.

 

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