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I was on trail with a family that thought i was leaving to much and didnt connect with the dad and sister i said its because im new and cant connect with the dad and sister as much as i do with the mom because the dad and sis talk about programing and stuff and idk anything about that, and i said brb because im working sometimes. what should i do different for my next family

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   Learn programming, of course!

   Jokes aside, finding the right family in SL isn't easy. Joining one can be daunting for all parties involved, and chances are you won't get along with everyone at all times. I have a few suggestions:

  • Find a smaller family. Fewer people you might have a hard time connecting with.
  • Take your time getting to know the people of the family before deciding to join. 
  • Families aren't usually about everyone always agreeing with each other. I expect my sisters believe the sole purpose of my existence is to annoy them. I also expect they're mostly correct in that belief.
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While you may not be a programmer you can always join the conversation by asking questions and being willing to learn. funny thing about programmers is they usually have the "Hacker Ethic" and love to share information. Please note By hacker I am using the original meaning of the term http://www.jargon.net/jargonfile/h/hacker.html

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Just be yourself. Sounds like a THEM issue to me. If one of my girls show up and I am talking nerd with a mate then I try to include them some how in the conversation. You can always do like one of my daughters does and how I love her for this and just blurt out some random crap right in the middle of the conversation. lol👍😜😁😎

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Two things I'd suggest, first that a family where the main topic of conversation is something you have no knowledge or interest in is not a good fit for you.  It was really on them to make an effort to include you in their conversations by changing the topic to something you can participate in. They didn't do it, in other words, they did not make effort to make you feel included. I would say that this family has failed your trial period and you can sack 'em.

The second one is on you though - 

18 hours ago, BeeBriella said:

 i said brb because im working sometimes. 

So, the times you're working, is times that you shouldn't be expecting to be involved in your SL family at all. Keep work time and family time separate. Tell your family that you'll be available only when work is finished.  Being there with the family but then being afk because you're distracted by something more important than them is a bit rude. It's better to not be there at all except at times where you can be fully attentive.

So, instead of telling a potential family (for example) "I can be around every day from 9am to 9pm", and then be afk working for all but the last two hours, tell them "I can be around every day from 7pm to 9pm". That sets their expectations lower but more realistic. Obviously everyone has moments when they need to be afk for a short while, but if you're doing it on and off all the time, you may as well not be there at all.

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These are all great suggestions.   I am part of a sisterly family, ( 2 in fact) and we get together when we can. We have varied interests.  When my wife and lil Sis start talking programing ( wife has a PhD, sis has Masters)  I just kinda tune out and do things I need to do.  They understand and doesn't press the issue. 

 

As was said, don't be in hurry. Feel people out and find the best fit for YOU.  Not them.

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