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Hooking up (for conversations) with total strangers.


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I recently read a thing online about things about the United States that suprise people from other contries. One of these thing is the fact that Americans will have conversations with strangers. This got me to wondering, 1, are those from other places really unlikely to do this?, and 2, if so, does this transfer to SL resulting in those from places other than the United States being less likely to respond to random IMs?

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I'm from the US, but will seldom engage in conversation with total strangers.  The exception being when we are traveling, we will sometimes strike up conversations with folks staying in the same hotel or sometimes while sitting at a bar.  Additionally, if I attend an event, then I'll often have conversations with the other people there.  However, in my own town/city, out on the streets or doing activities, I don't usually engage with strangers.  

In SL, it all depends on how the random IM starts.  If they just say Hi, then I'll often ignore it.  If they comment on my profile or say something witty, then i may converse with them.

ETA:  My husband will always start talking to random strangers everywhere he goes, whether here in our home area or elsewhere. I always thought him odd on that.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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I've watched several youtube videos of foreigners saying how weird it is that Americans just start talking to them. Also, they find it strange that we put a lot of ice in our drinks. And tipping is confusing to them too.

This could explain why no one talks to me when I go to an SL club. No one is from the US!

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1 hour ago, Bree Giffen said:

I've watched several youtube videos of foreigners saying how weird it is that Americans just start talking to them. Also, they find it strange that we put a lot of ice in our drinks. And tipping is confusing to them too.

This could explain why no one talks to me when I go to an SL club. No one is from the US!

That same reason could also explain why no one returns my IM at a club.

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I can't say I've ever noticed a difference between people from America and people from anywhere else in regards to IMs.  I've messaged people from other countries and have gotten responses.  I've messaged people from America and gotten no response.  I'm not sure it would be the same as in RL.  We're ALL in one country, SL.  Unless someone specifically says in their profile where they live, how would you even know?   

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26 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said:

It's a joke. Obviously, you wouldn't. It's a joke. Clearly if Bree never receives an IM in a club, it's because she's not showing enough cleavage.

*snickers*

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1 hour ago, Randall Ahren said:

It's a joke. Obviously, you wouldn't. It's a joke. Clearly if Bree never receives an IM in a club, it's because she's not showing enough cleavage.

If that was directed to me, my comment had nothing to do with your post.  I was answering the OP

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In the UK it's a regional thing. In London and most of the south and east, no-one talks to anyone. In fact it's a running joke that a British person will even cross the street to avoid someone they know, so that they don't have to stop and have a conversation with them. This is particularly true of southerners.

In the north, people are much more open to chatting with strangers. The North-East in particular, it's completely normal to have a chat with anyone you meet, almost anywhere. My partner is from Newcastle and he regularly (embarrasses me by) striking up conversations with random people. Liverpool too - but watch them, they might just be distracting you so they can pick your pocket 😁 .

The south-west is very friendly too, though more so in rural areas, not so much in Bristol.

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In Eastern Europe it's very similar too. We tend to avoid talking to strangers while we're out and if one does approach us we try to keep it as short as possible and continue on. If someone approached me and started to have conversation with me, I'd honestly feel awkward and uncomfortable. In the slavic countries it's soo easy to spot foreigners even without talking to them, they just stand out from the crowd.

As for random inworld IMs I tend to respond and be as friendliest as needed, but sometimes the conversation just can't pick up and quickly dies off or it's so cringy that you just want to run away to log off :D

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It's quite common for people where I live to just strike up a chat with a complete stranger, we are a very international community; even the police will chat with you and ask you where you're from, what's it like there and are you enjoying being here?  I was not born here, I'm an immigrant and when people find out I am now a citizen and I speak the language they almost melt and hug me (pre Covid of course). I once had a woman in a remote area drag me around a market and show me off to everyone, she told them I could speak the local dialect which made them very happy and got me a few drinking buddies for the evening. 😆 That being said, most of the places I have been in the world I have found friendly people who are opened and looking for a cultural exchange.

The city I live in was rated the 'Friendliest City in the World" 2020 (I'm assuming they took that data from 2019).

The article reads:

"Jumping up to the top spot this year is Chiang Mai, the kind of place where, if you stick around for a couple days, locals will start recognizing you and saying hello. (Prepare to become friends with the guy selling bubble tea on the corner outside your Airbnb by day two.) Whether you explore the old town or enjoy street food at a communal table, you will encounter friendly, welcoming people. Little surprise, given that Thailand's entire marketing slogan is the "land of smiles." The last bit is incorrect, the marketing slogan is "Amazing Thailand", visitors call Thailand "The Land of Smiles".

READERS' CHOICE AWARDS

BY CAITLIN MORTON AND STEFANIE WALDEK

December 18, 2020

I'd be happy to send you the link to the article if you like, I'm not sure if I can post it here. 

 

The other top 9 cities are:

2. Luang Prabang, Laos

3. Merida, Mexico

4. San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

5. Queenstown, New Zealand

6. Auckland, New Zealand

7. Galway, Ireland

8. Dublin, Ireland

9. Hoi An, Vietnam

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I think overall that social friendliness is a regional concept... Where I am in the States, everyone is friendly and will talk to a complete stranger, meanwhile the year I was in Maryland, near Baltimore.... That was the unfriendliest place I have ever been to. (no offense to anyone in MD, ya'll still have the best blue crab) 

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Yeah it is different over here ( Norway ), my boyfriend was shocked on how friendly and welcoming Americans are, meanwhile we Norwegians are afraid of starting a conversation with strangers, and tries to avoid any social interaction unless necessary, there are of course exceptions, but more likely most of us are like this.

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Yanks can be friendly depending on what part of the country. the friendly folks tend to come from the middle of the country (Midwest and Great planes) as well as the "Deep South" New England and West coast people seem to rather Stomp on your face rather than give you the time of day.

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On 8/2/2021 at 1:56 AM, Sid Nagy said:

It all depends on the situation I guess.
THE American doesn't exist, neither does THE Dutch or THE German etc.

Then how come you always say THE Netherlands? 🤭

/me runs giggling, trips, falls, dies laughing 🥳

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I'm from Australia, a fairly small place, and I will engage in conversation with strangers in real life and SL. I also find other people where I live to be quite friendly too. When I go larger cities in Australia, I notice that that people don't do this, and that often they are rude when you speak to them. I recall trying to spark up a conversation with someone while visiting a large city and my then partner turned to me afterwards and said, "Don't be weird".

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It totally depends on how I’m feeling that day. Pain makes me very quiet. I’m generally to focused for casual conversations. My pain pills make me chatty utilizing few (if any) social filters. When I’m working (illustrating children’s books) I’m also pretty focused. At the end of a project, I’m ready to celebrate, and will become more open to meeting new people. When my depression weighs me down, I want to sit in the dark and indulge my demons in SL. Otherwise I like to come into SL to build and be creative. My SL friends (from around the world) seem to accept this about me and are pretty flexible with my cyclical nature. My experience in SL tells me that if I come in world and talk to nobody, then nobody tends to take the first step and talk to me. So, by default I try to finish projects, take my meds, profile surf and practice being witty. This seems to work regardless of the rl geographical peaks usage times. 

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-makes note of all the places she can move to never have to talk to anyone again-

This is good. Keep it coming. My social anxiety thanks you. Here in Florida, everyone will talk to you and they are usually drunk, own an alligator, or think you're an ex of theirs. It's very awkward. I dislike idle chatter and speaking with strangers. I'm not friendly at all lol. Forums are as close as I get to conversing with strangers :D

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On 8/5/2021 at 2:11 AM, Ellith Blackwood said:

Here in Florida, everyone will talk to you and they are usually drunk, own an alligator, or think you're an ex of theirs.

You obviously live in the same part of Florida that I do, You could always move to Miami and get away from that. And if you don't know Spanish most people couldn't talk to you even if they wanted to.

 

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I can't sit quiet in a long line, a waiting room or where ever there is just people waiting around.. It just feels awkward to me..

I'll find something to bring up with someone.. hehehe

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When we are out sitting at a bar, my husband will often comment to someone on something they said.  Since they are sitting right next to him, it is definitely easy to hear what is being said, but to comment on it always seemed like an invasion of privacy to me. 

That is the difference in our perspectives - he views the entire world as a huge social place where everyone should be chit-chatting with everyone else, whereas I see the world as something for me to explore while avoiding as many people as possible (kind of like my SL).

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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I'm an introvert and usually happy to stand back and observe the world. Even so, I love to banter. If I see an opportunity for a short exchange, I'll take it. I was once selected for a TSA pat down before a flight. As the agent worked her way up my arms and shoulders, I said "A little lower and to the left, please". She immediately shot back "Hot oil costs extra". That made my day.

Though they're becoming more rare, manual air-lock double doors on stores have always been fun for me. If I'm approaching one coincident with someone else, and get there first, I'll open the door, saying "The next door is yours". That always gets a smile. If I get to a door well ahead of another person, I'll hold it open while giving them an exasperated look, saying "Hurry up, I can't hold this all day!"

I once opened the door at my clinic for a women hobbling along on crutches, with her foot in a cast. Her hubby was tagging along behind, carrying her purse...

Me: "Owwie, did you break that while kicking your husband in the ass?"
She: "I wish."
He: "I'm safe for a while."

I could go on.

Now I'm imagining what I'd do if I saw @LittleMe Jewell and her hubby together at a bar, he chatting everyone up, she sitting quietly. I'm biting my tongue just thinking about it.

Heaven help everyone if @Ceka Cianciand I are both waiting around somewhere.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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2 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I'm an introvert and usually happy to stand back and observe the world. Even so, I love to banter. If I see an opportunity for a short exchange, I'll take it. I was once selected for a TSA pat down before a flight. As the agent worked her way up my arms and shoulders, I said "A little lower and to the left, please". She immediately shot back "Hot oil costs extra". That made my day.

Though they're becoming more rare, manual air-lock double doors on stores have always been fun for me. If I'm approaching one coincident with someone else, and get there first, then open the door, saying "The next door is yours". That always gets a smile. If I get to a door well ahead of another person, I'll hold it open while giving them an exasperated look, saying "Hurry up, I can't hold this all day!"

I once opened the door at my clinic for a women hobbling along on crutches, with her foot in a cast. Her hubby was tagging along behind, carrying her purse...

Me: "Owwie, did you break that while kicking your husband in the ass?"
She: "I wish."
He: "I'm safe for a while."

I could go on.

Now I'm imagining what I'd do if I saw @LittleMe Jewell and her hubby together at a bar, he chatting everyone up, she sitting quietly. I'm biting my tongue just thinking about it.

Heaven help everyone if @Ceka Cianciand I are both waiting around somewhere.

Add me to that list.  When my son was younger, he thought I was a little nuts talking to people in the check out line or wherever.  As a young adult, he now does the same thing.  For the most part, people seem fine engaging with strangers.  I will sometimes get that same look my son used to give me but at my age, I really couldn't care less what people think.  

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