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To Hang Out | To Make Out | What Exactly is The Intention?


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1 minute ago, Sid Nagy said:

I've decided to be a happy single long time ago already.
Not that I'm happy 24/7 with my situation. But it is what I got. I didn't pick it myself.
 

Good idea! She will find you faster that way. It tends to happen when we aren't looking for it. 😉

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11 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I will say that there are times when hanging out leads to making out but that doesn't make them the same thing.

This being the question.

Is the intention (in an SL context) most of the times that one thing leads to the other.

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11 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

It's really rather simple.

hang out = platonic

make out = sexual

 

Sometimes that is the case.

Other times, "hang out" means "let's have sex, except I'm not going to tell you yet because I know you'll go away if I do".

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25 minutes ago, Caroline Takeda said:

(in an SL context)

It's hard to generalize anything to a broad "SL context". From what I gather Tinies (for example) don't really do much SLex but seem to do a lot of 'hanging out'.

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7 hours ago, Lewis Luminos said:

Sometimes that is the case.

Other times, "hang out" means "let's have sex, except I'm not going to tell you yet because I know you'll go away if I do".

Did you read the last line of my post?

Quote

I will say that there are times when hanging out leads to making out but that doesn't make them the same thing.

 

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7 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

This being the question.

Is the intention (in an SL context) most of the times that one thing leads to the other.

From my own experiences in the past 17-18 years, I'd have to say, "more often than not, yes". That does not mean all of them are like that just most of the ones I've encountered.

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In the past couple of days I've been once in similar situation. Met a random guy in a random sim, we talked for a while and he seemed very nice. Later I offered him to hang out and chat more, 5 minutes into hang out and chat he starts going all romantic on me wanting to cuddle and etc... So that didn't last but I figured maybe he was feeling that way in the moment. In the following days I offered him couple of times to hang out since both of us weren't doing anything particular. Every single time he went into romantic mode!

I now find that person very annoying because I know I can't have normal conversation without it turning into attempt for something else... ¬¬

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On 7/23/2021 at 1:11 AM, Aiyumei said:

In the past couple of days I've been once in similar situation. Met a random guy in a random sim, we talked for a while and he seemed very nice. Later I offered him to hang out and chat more, 5 minutes into hang out and chat he starts going all romantic on me wanting to cuddle and etc... So that didn't last but I figured maybe he was feeling that way in the moment. In the following days I offered him couple of times to hang out since both of us weren't doing anything particular. Every single time he went into romantic mode!

I now find that person very annoying because I know I can't have normal conversation without it turning into attempt for something else... ¬¬

Then, to be honest, cut your losses. If you don't want to to go that route and he's "nice guy insisting", there really nothing IN that relationship for you, is there? 

Sucks to lose a "friend", but it sounds like he wants way more than you are wanting to give. 

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  • 1 month later...

Not going to read all 3 pages but, as some have said, "hanging out"  has always been a coy way of saying "Let's do the dirty"

 

To which I reply  "I know what you want and the answer is NO"   To which they protest with  "But but but, I just wanted to go clubbing"    

Well, then say that up front.  Clubbing, dancing, be specific.  At which time I will nicely say "No, thank you, I'm just chilling" 

If I come off harsh, that's the way I perceive SL pickups. 

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2 hours ago, Doris Johnsky said:

as some have said, "hanging out"  has always been a coy way of saying "Let's do the dirty"

   That's .. Just outright a faulty interpretation, that it has always been a coy way to suggest anything. The term's basic meaning is to socialise (unless used in the context to hang out something to dry, i.e. laundry). Any ambivalence to the intentions of whoever says it is a matter of social context; who said it, how did they say it, did they say it as part of something else and, if so, what were they saying?

   If a friend wants to hang out, man or woman, I assume they want to socialise without any specific activity (as opposed to 'would you like to go bowling?'). We hang, as in loiter - usually down by the canal drinking beer and listening to music.

   If I receive a text from a girl I'm seeing, and she writes it along with a winking smiley, I bring protection. 

   If a friend asks me in SL, I'll assume it's social.

   If it's a complete stranger, I'll assume they're desperate whether it's social or sexual, and that the reason they'd ask me is because no one else is eligible, from which I might deduce that there's probably a good reason ("who needs someone who needs someone", as the song goes). 

   If, in any scenario, I find the proposal too ambiguous altogether I'll simply ask them to elaborate - "What do you have in mind?", and then I get more to work with.

   Communication is a nuanced matter, what a person says is often less interesting than how, where, and when they say it. 

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1 hour ago, Orwar said:

   That's .. Just outright a faulty interpretation, that it has always been a coy way to suggest anything. The term's basic meaning is to socialise (unless used in the context to hang out something to dry, i.e. laundry). Any ambivalence to the intentions of whoever says it is a matter of social context; who said it, how did they say it, did they say it as part of something else and, if so, what were they saying?

   If a friend wants to hang out, man or woman, I assume they want to socialise without any specific activity (as opposed to 'would you like to go bowling?'). We hang, as in loiter - usually down by the canal drinking beer and listening to music.

   If I receive a text from a girl I'm seeing, and she writes it along with a winking smiley, I bring protection. 

   If a friend asks me in SL, I'll assume it's social.

   If it's a complete stranger, I'll assume they're desperate whether it's social or sexual, and that the reason they'd ask me is because no one else is eligible, from which I might deduce that there's probably a good reason ("who needs someone who needs someone", as the song goes). 

   If, in any scenario, I find the proposal too ambiguous altogether I'll simply ask them to elaborate - "What do you have in mind?", and then I get more to work with.

   Communication is a nuanced matter, what a person says is often less interesting than how, where, and when they say it. 

I am quite aware of that the phrase means. however, I am relating to what it means in SL.  Not the literal definition of "Let's hang out"

 

And I have asked exactly what you said "What do you mean?" The answer?   "You know. Have fun."  After further questioning they just give up.  

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I'm  having a difficult time imagining what "making out" would look like in SL.  For anyone over the age of 14 I think it would be unsatisfying, tedious or hilarious - maybe all three. I can't imagine the dialogue nor can I visualize an adult in SL inviting someone to "make out".  Perhaps it's a cross-over thing from playing the Sims?

Over the years in SL I've had a number of very lovely "hang out"/non-sexual friendships with men.  I'm not surprised a guy might prefer to hang out with woman rather then spend time with another guy in SL.  Some men prefer woman as friends, they feel they can freely express themselves in a non-competitive manner and get advice and the female perspective of life from a "big sister".  They may have a number of male friends in RL and simply want to experience a friendship with a woman in SL  without the pressure to "perform".

 

 

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Unfortunately, it is often irrelevant which terms are used. I've had the unexpected pleasure (sarcasm) of explaining to men several times that I'm not looking for sex. And yet they pretend they just want to have a nice chat because they think they can still persuade you. if it doesn't work, these people are offended.

 

And it doesn't matter whether they are Germans like me, or Americans or something else. this kind of man seems to exist all over the world

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1 hour ago, Orwar said:

   And woman ..

 

Only that women in SL are often men too. I don't want to deny that there are also women who have a more "aggressive" or insidious way of persuading someone to have sex and an very fragile Ego on top of it, but this has only happened to me personaly with men or men in women's avatars for 12 years now.

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22 minutes ago, CoraxCorv said:

Only that women in SL are often men too.

   And the other way around.

   Despicable people come in all forms. It's not difficult to find those who fulfil our expectations of negative stereotypes, but attributing ownership of certain behaviours to certain sorts of people seems to me a form of wilful ignorance of a very complex reality. 

   Besides, how do you know that there are men behind those female avatars? Because they said so? Because someone else said so? I find it interesting that a 'man' admitting to being a man is so easy to believe that one will accept it as truth based on a statement alone, but if one is having any doubts about a person who claims to be a woman, they'll be asked to voice verify and/or send pictures. 

   Of course, that, too, is a generalisation - I've had women ask me to voice verify and send pictures quite a few times throughout the years. 

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27 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   And the other way around.

   Despicable people come in all forms. It's not difficult to find those who fulfil our expectations of negative stereotypes, but attributing ownership of certain behaviours to certain sorts of people seems to me a form of wilful ignorance of a very complex reality. 

   Besides, how do you know that there are men behind those female avatars? Because they said so? Because someone else said so? I find it interesting that a 'man' admitting to being a man is so easy to believe that one will accept it as truth based on a statement alone, but if one is having any doubts about a person who claims to be a woman, they'll be asked to voice verify and/or send pictures.

Because I also had this experience outside of Secondlife. I'm still young and I go out in real life too. Often you are flirted with, and refuse in a friendly manner. I've already been insulted by this special Kind of men, called a *****, I was told I was ugly anyway, even though they obviously did try to get in my pants a minute ago 😆 And many of my female Friends sadly made the same experience. And btw, that Guys claim they are "lesbians" in SL isnt a rare Thing at all, everyone knows that 😁Everyone also knows how a badly adjusted voice morphs sounds or at least knows a few people who happen to be "deaf-mute"

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25 minutes ago, CoraxCorv said:

Often you are flirted with, and refuse in a friendly manner. I've already been insulted by this special Kind of men, called a *****, I was told I was ugly anyway, even though they obviously did try to get in my pants a minute ago 😆 And many of my female Friends sadly made the same experience.

Selection bias. I shouldn't assume, but it's very probable you're flirting with more men than women, and therefore more likely to find 'bad apples' from that group.

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50 minutes ago, Orwar said:

I've had women ask me to voice verify and send pictures quite a few times throughout the years. 

but was it really your gender that they wanted to verify? 

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4 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

but was it really your gender that they wanted to verify? 

   There may have been some who feared that I might be a dolphin in disguise, that wanted to verify my species, I suppose?

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10 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   There may have been some who feared that I might be a dolphin in disguise, that wanted to verify my species, I suppose?

Or see whether or not you were as handsome as they imagined.

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2 hours ago, Quistess Alpha said:

Selection bias. I shouldn't assume, but it's very probable you're flirting with more men than women, and therefore more likely to find 'bad apples' from that group.

That might be true. And Like I say - I Talk about this "Special Kind of Macho attitude guy", not men in general of course 😄 there are a lot of nice Guys out there.

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2 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

Or see whether or not you were as handsome as they imagined.

   Few people have sufficient imagination to envision my handsomeness. 

9caff2db09a84c2a452138c07dd7649b_w200.gi

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