SL not so welcoming to new residents

[Sid Nagy]

2 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

That is the point. People don't stay when they can't find someone willing to help pretty quickly. The longer it takes to find the help you need, the less likely you are to stick around. Life is too short and today's world is far too fast paced for most to spend much time trying to find help or figure things out for themselves. Why would they when there are other things out there that aren't as complicated and don't require the amount of time. 

If only there were some way for a new person, once they have reached a certain point in the "onboarding process", to be able to request a "live" mentor. A personal helper. People who won't mind taking a few minutes to answer questions, demo how to do something like rez a box. The simple everyday stuff we no longer even think about because it has become a part of our "routine". A habit in a sense. We do without thinking because repetition.

SL used to have a mentor program. Shame they let things get so out of hand they shut it down.

LL hires Moles by now.
They could hire interested oldbies in good standing as Helper as well.

[Cinos Field]

In my experience none of the sims that ban newbies are actually worth visiting. I know it feels like you're missing out on a lot, but you're really not. Pretty much every worthwhile place I've found on SL gets incredibly excited about helping newcomers.

Even the adult places.

[InnerCity Elf]

On 7/10/2021 at 2:32 AM, Nanuk Fyrewik said:

Thing is, you won't ever forget those sims and will never visit them again, even after you're an 'acceptable' month old - much less donate any L$ to them. You'll make sure to let your friends who join you in SL know not to bother with those sims, too.

I totally did (forget them, that is, and pethaps visit again, too), and even if I'd had any friends to tell in my first month 😅 I doubt I would have thought it important enough to tell them, unless it would have come up in conversation anyway. However, I agree that SL, and SL residents should be more newcomer friendly. Also more friendly to anyone who's friendly, in general.

Edited July 17, 2021 by Meccha Suki
Clarification added

[Skell Dagger]

One of the most disheartening things encountered by those of us who provide brand-specific mesh head and body support is the one-day-old avatar who manages to make it into our support chat after some 'helpful' resident has told them they 'must' get X mesh head and Y mesh body, gives them a couple of LMs, and leaves them to it. So the newb dutifully goes off and buys both of those things without understanding what they are, how to use them, and that there are free demos.

Right off the bat, they're being told to do something so complicated that even people who have been here for many years can initially struggle with it. Never mind running before they can walk; they're being told to construct a rocket ship before they're even able to lift their head and crawl.

Sometimes we get calls for help from residents who have tried to assist these hapless newbs but who have realised said newb doesn't even know how to unpack things. They get them past the SL 101 point of accessing inventory and rezzing boxes, and then have to deal with getting them to understand words we're all familiar with: skin, shape, BoM, HUD, apply, etc. They use this SL jargon instinctively without realising it, and then it slowly dawns that the newb has no clue what they're on about. I'm pretty sure that's when the helper's heart begins to sink...

I've had people in my IM begging me to take over their 'pet newb project' because they've been at this for hours and still haven't got them further along than having a mess of unpacked folders in their inventory (often the same thing unpacked multiple times), then the newb deletes everything so they can start all over again (often deleting the original boxes, which necessitates going back to the store and explaining how to redeliver, and what redelivery is, and why each store can handle redelivery in a different way, etc etc).

This happens with alarming frequency, and I have personally spent entire afternoons and evenings hand-holding one person in a full SL 101 that does eventually at least end up with them happy with how they look, and with some knowledge about how to rez things, add HUDs, customise their avatar in general, and any other additional tips that I've felt could be snuck in alongside the avatar advice without overwhelming them. On the occasions when I've done that, when someone is willing to take the time and do the work, those are the times when I'm pretty sure they'll stick around. Because - as mentioned earlier in the thread - someone took hours out of their day to help them, even if it was more with the specifics of one particular aspect of SL. I usually get profuse thanks from those people and I try to leave them with some basic advice for handling SL in general.

More often than not, though, the hapless newb is already mentally exhausted by the time their helper hands them over to me, and after an hour or so they tell me they're tired and will go to bed. I encourage them to sleep on it and - if they feel up to it - to log back in tomorrow with a fresh head, and contact me if they need to.

I never hear back from those people.

[PixelBerry]

Since she couldn't handle that or the help that she got, she wouldn't of lasted long in SL anyhow with that attitude, Second life isn't for the impatient, never has been.

[Evil Littlepaws]

I had the opposite experience. First day on SL, wandering around aimlessly, Found a beach, couldn't figure out how to swim, walked across the bottom of the ocean. Someone showed me an amazing place she loved, and then she told me about her picks. Chose another place to go to, talked to people, made friends and it just grew from there. It all depends, I guess, on how you approach the world.

None of the people I came across owed me anything and they were just fun to talk to. Hell, I didn't have a bento or anything beyond a brand new Avi until months after I joined, I think all of that isn't really needed at first. It is just about having fun. Look at the world as bright and new and great things will happen.

[Rolig Loon]

2 hours ago, Bruno Darkheart said:

First day on SL, wandering around aimlessly, Found a beach, couldn't figure out how to swim, walked across the bottom of the ocean. Someone showed me an amazing place she loved, and then she told me about her picks. Chose another place to go to, talked to people, made friends and it just grew from there. It all depends, I guess, on how you approach the world.

Yeah, on my first day in world I went to a few random places (a Japanese bus station sticks in my mind, for some reason) and then did what I usually do when I find myself in a new RL city.  I went looking for a book store.  When I couldn't find one, I decided to look for a library.  I found one with some really friendly people and ended up hanging around for years.  Some of those people are still my closest friends in SL today, even though many of us have moved on to do other things.

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

Some of those people are still my closest friends in SL today, even though many of us have moved on to do other things.

That happened with my earliest friends..hope I can get lucky and make more!

[Rowan Amore]

The OP came in, well informed so she would 'fit in'.  When she found she didn't fit in everywhere just because she had a good looking avatar, she got offended.  She only seemed to be interested in the looks in SL and not anything else.   The few places.that I've noticed having avatar age restrictions are mostly Adult areas so...maybe new people shouldn't be given the adult option until after 30 days.

[Love Zhaoying]

57 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

The OP came in, well informed so she would 'fit in'.  When she found she didn't fit in everywhere just because she had a good looking avatar, she got offended.  She only seemed to be interested in the looks in SL and not anything else.   The few places.that I've noticed having avatar age restrictions are mostly Adult areas so...maybe new people shouldn't be given the adult option until after 30 days.

They ain't gonna join the Feted Inner Circle with that approach, Second Life is not a Beauty Contest. Except when it is.

 

[ChinRey]

5 hours ago, Bruno Darkheart said:

I had the opposite experience. First day on SL, wandering around aimlessly, Found a beach, couldn't figure out how to swim, walked across the bottom of the ocean. Someone showed me an amazing place she loved, and then she told me about her picks. Chose another place to go to, talked to people, made friends and it just grew from there. It all depends, I guess, on how you approach the world.

That makes a huge difference but it's really more about luck.

I created three alts within a month or two after my current main so I guess I got the newcomer experience four times. There was a huge difference and it was not because of me - for good or bad, I'm the same person regardless of which alt I log on with.

My main was exceptionally lucky and ran into a string of very helpful people so I got a very good start. My ChinRey alt was also fortunate enough to meet some nice people right away but my other two early alts didn't. If one of those experiences had been my first, I don't think I would have stayed.

My fourth alt, a little bit later, got to see the worst of SL's newcomer experience with people trying to drag her into situations I wasn't at all comfortable with. By then I knew how to deal with it of course but I can't imagine any genuine newcomer who ahd a similar first impression would ever have logged on to SL again.

Edited July 17, 2021 by ChinRey

[Evil Littlepaws]

3 minutes ago, ChinRey said:

My fourth alt, a little bit later, got to see the worst of SL's newcomer experience with people trying to drag her into situations I wasn't at all comfortable with. By then I knew how to deal with it of course but I can't imagine any genuine newcomer who had a similar first impression would ever have logged on to SL again.

I agree with this that there are is a lot of people out there that genuinely try to take advantage of new people. Why, for the life of me I don't understand, but they do. I tend to try to talk to people here the last month and try to be as welcoming as I can be. I don't know what the female avatars go through as much, but I have heard horror stories. I am part of a poly family and if someone has questions I usually point out my girls and says here are my girls, on average, though various alts they have been here for 10 years. To listen to them, heed their advice. Then asking people what interests they have and trying to point them in a diction to accomplish those things. 

Mainly tend to point people into groups that are active, like cheerleading, school, arts, drawing, or their other interests. I tend not to talk about what it is that I do, or involved in unless they ask, as I never really want to lead people down a path they wouldn't want to take themselves. But I think having helpful advice from people who have been there before can help.

[Rolig Loon]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

They ain't gonna join the Feted Inner Circle with that approach, Second Life is not a Beauty Contest. Except when it is.

Sort of like RL. If your goal is quick acceptance in the Fetid Inner Circle, you'll probably get frustrated and see more things to complain about than if you relax, keep your eyes open, and stay ready to move on if you don't like the first few people you meet.  There are good people everywhere, but you're naive if you think everyone is going to be friendly and helpful.

[Evil Littlepaws]

 

39 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

Sort of like RL. If your goal is quick acceptance in the Fetid Inner Circle

I have been here for well, 8 months. What does Fetid mean?

 

Nevermind, looked it up in the game, decided I didn't care.  But you are right sometimes look do matter and change the game. 

Edited July 18, 2021 by Bruno Darkheart
Searched Fetid on SL

[animats]

6 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

Found a beach, couldn't figure out how to swim,

The default AO should include basic swimming.

I once came across two new 0-day users who were in a kayak in a canal in Bay City. No paddles. (Think about how much a new user needs to know to get paddles into their hands. And also, that in most games, not having  a paddle might mean you couldn't move.) They were way overcontrolling and were stuck banging back and forth between the canal walls. One tried standing and sank to the bottom of the canal. They couldn't get out. I IMd them "Push PAGE UP". Then they flew up to the underside of a bridge. Eventually they got out.

I hope they got past that.

 

[Maryanne Solo]

6 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

They ain't gonna join the Feted Inner Circle with that approach, Second Life is not a Beauty Contest. Except when it is.

 

Alarm bells ringing!!! 
Only two or three previous antagonists of all from ye olde disgraceful fora would use those words.
Are you actually a horrible person Love? 8-O *gasps

8^)

[Rowan Amore]

1 hour ago, animats said:

The default AO should include basic swimming.

I once came across two new 0-day users who were in a kayak in a canal in Bay City. No paddles. (Think about how much a new user needs to know to get paddles into their hands. And also, that in most games, not having  a paddle might mean you couldn't move.) They were way overcontrolling and were stuck banging back and forth between the canal walls. One tried standing and sank to the bottom of the canal. They couldn't get out. I IMd them "Push PAGE UP". Then they flew up to the underside of a bridge. Eventually they got out.

I hope they got past that.

 

We all seemed to figure it out.  Even those of us with absolutely no tech or gaming background such as myself, managed to figure things out.  Fell from great heights before learning I could fly.  Got pushed around before realizing all I had to do what TP away.  Walked around with a demo skin on for a few weeks without realizing it.  

We learn as we go, just like with anything else.  I never gave up nor expected everything to be easy.  I'm still learning today.  

[AlexBrandon]

On 7/9/2021 at 9:20 PM, Nanuk Fyrewik said:

Thank you all. Yes, I did get a Linden Home. I literally read everything I could get my hands on before I joined just so I wouldn't be clueless.

I've deleted my account now so no need to keep replying, but I thank you and appreciate that you've replied.

SL is the most toxic environment it's ever been my misfortune to experience, I'm sorry to say.

You have something we call ... 'Classic Alt Syndrome'....seen it many times before

[Eggy UwU]

reading the entirety of this thread on here just gave me a migraine. all i am going to say is that SL can be hard to get into, it was for myself. but, like any game, virtual world, etc.--you need to figure out the inner-workings/features and the community before going and judging. for myself, i have been on SL a total of three years, it's not all bad, you just gotta find the people you connect with like IRL. boom. period. done.

[Love Zhaoying]

7 hours ago, Maryanne Solo said:

Alarm bells ringing!!! 
Only two or three previous antagonists of all from ye olde disgraceful fora would use those words.
Are you actually a horrible person Love? 8-O *gasps

8^)

No! But I know "feted" from "fetid"! 
The FIC comes up once in awhile in these new Fora too..

[Rolig Loon]

2 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

No! But I know "feted" from "fetid"! 

Hehe ....  You probably recall, then, that "fetid" is a reference to an ancient forum conversation in which one of the participants harbored a Fetid Inner Child.  It was a memorable line (although I have forgotten who wrote it or who it referred to).

[Love Zhaoying]

9 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

Fetid Inner Child

That's cool! Fetid = spoiled, but fetus is similar..kind of like an undeveloped conjoined twin that controls you..(a la "basket case", etc.)

[So Whimsy]

25 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

That's cool! Fetid = spoiled, but fetus is similar..kind of like an undeveloped conjoined twin that controls you..(a la "basket case", etc.)

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, So Whimsy said:

[Seicher Rae]

It's been a long time since I've been a SL noob, or created a new alt.  SL has never been "newbie" friendly as far as I know. There is a steep learning curve, and lots of the normal internet jerks.

Is it really such a "thing" to have 30+ day restrictions in so many places? I don't recall seeing that except in ADULT areas, where "adult" stuff routinely happens. Then again, I'm not looking for those signs, either, so maybe things have radically changed. I did read some of the comments early in this thread about preventing griefers of the new ilk.

All of that said, wtf was the original poster looking for, anyway? Spending a lot of money (and how much IS the max amount of L$ you can buy in a month????), and then just "horrible place" and "meh" leave with a rage quit? I mean, seriously, wtf were they hoping to find here?