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Do you consider yourself a narcissist?


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I looked up the traits of a narcissist and I am not one, thankfully. Narcissists are not good people. It’s not something a person can just turn on and off. It’s a real personality disorder that has no cure. It’s sad but a lot of websites only talk about how to get away from narcissists and how to identify them so you can avoid any interaction.

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You picked my interest with that topic and I decided to take a test or two. My personality is nowhere near to that of a narcissist :P

I wouldn't say narcissism is a disorder as it can be useful to have such person around you when you push to achieve a goal. True they tend to think they are top of the top but as every person with common sense, a little soft skills can turn around things for the better. In my line of work having people with diverse personality is considered a plus. Such people that experience these personality traits can be directed towards leading a project or completing extra work with the goal of being praised for doing their job(my inner manager is speaking, haha). On the downside having someone who wants to be center of attention or likes to express their importance can lead to frustration and even conflicts. It's all about balancing and... probably therapy :D

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I think narcissism is one of degrees which can vary depending if one is feeling insecure, inferior etc. For myself I believe at times I might have a higher degree of narcissism than other times. It is something I do try to keep in check and moderate myself to keep it to a minimum if at all.

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There is also just vanity and being self-absorbed. These aren’t mild narcissism but normal feelings that people can have and then feel something else. I think this is what most people might be thinking of when they feel like they are being a narcissist.

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3 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I exhibit traits of a "covert narcissist" (sensitivity to criticism, envy, holding grudges, stuff like that), but according to several tests I've taken, my narcissism is actually mild compared to other people.

Yes everyone has some traits of most any diagnosis.

You are clinically diagnosed as such when you have a certain number of designated traits to a significantly defined degree.

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Not that I've been made aware of, I've had someone call me a narcissistic n to the zi once because I didn't agree with their politics.

(Ortion debate.  They didn't like I was for it.)

And I think someone here called me one too for some reason, can't be bothered to remember why though.

But I guess based off of two people that have only had little interaction with me makes me one, right?  Ya know in spite of the fact that I think I'm average at best.

Edited by Mortified Wanderer
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4 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

I have doubts that a true narcissist would consider themselves one nor take a test to find out.

Apparently being completely un-self-aware is a hallmark of it.

I'd like to think I'm not one, or at least low on the narcissism "spectrum". I wish there was a legit free online test.

 

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2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   The Internet says no. And we all know the Internet never lies.

We all know the only trusted source of medical information in the internet is YouTube, preferably from a healthy-ologist, but in a pinch a random god botherer or asmr performance artist will do (slorp slorp slurrrp does this make you feel better slap squick slorp)

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3 hours ago, Orwar said:

The Internet says no. And we all know the Internet never lies.

Of course!

I took that same test but there's no point in posting a screenshot because it looks exactly like yours. :)

I also took another narcissism test, at the website of an Australian university so it has to be good. Ten questions, each with three optional answers. Not a single one of the answers applied to me, most of them weren't even close. I suppose that means I'm weird.

---

As for those three traits Gopi listed:

  • I have a love/hate attitude to criticism. It can hurt but it's always a very valuable learning experience
  • I sometimes envy other people's skills but never their wealth or status.
  • I can hold a grudge for minutes but usually not for hours. It's just too much bother

I'm a little bit confused though. These traits are all about how you relate to other people. I thought narcissism meant that you weren't really interested in relating to other people at all. Am I wrong there?

Edited by ChinRey
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7 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I exhibit traits of a "covert narcissist" (sensitivity to criticism, envy, holding grudges, stuff like that), but according to several tests I've taken, my narcissism is actually mild compared to other people.

Actually what you describe sounds like 90% of the people I know in RL and SL.

Edited by Doris Johnsky
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I think it is all relative. The idea should be that if you are mindful, you are not as likely to give off negative vibes. Narcissism is about people who take away energy. They do not have to know that they are doing this or even understand the nature of an energetic exchange in order to do it. This is like one of those base kinds of magic that is so integrated, so primal, even if you don't believe in it, it still has power in and sometimes over this world. It can be as simple as bending someone's arm to your will because trying something new makes you uncomfortable. It can mean believing in something so intently you feel entitled to ignore others' needs or your obligations in wider contexts. It can be as simple as selective blindness to maintain the illusion that everything around you is wrong and definitely has nothing to do with you. 

We all desire to feel as if we are authentically important to and valued by others, to be serving our highest purpose, whatever that means. We want especially to be valued by those people we value most. It is easy to feel offended or disrespected, or to even weaponize that anger or low frequencies, blamed on the world, as a way of trying to empower and 'win' and ignore criticisms' merits rather than doing the harder inner work of self-examination in order to make sure you really know yourself and are actually in sync with source where it counts the most. Someone taught me the simple idea that "the universe is perfect" and it is quite a contemplation to see its truth. Once you do, you may detach from misery because nothing is wrong when everything is perfect.

There is nothing to be pessimistic about, or even optimistic about. There's nothing to judge. You just are, and what that means is mysterious and wonderful and it alters your path through this experience of material life. It can be one of inner direction rather than reaction to sensation. It cultures a more magnanimous approach to the world and life in it. This can be a positive source of energy, giving energy as love and other higher frequencies, things like understanding, appreciation, forgiveness, valor, even humility.  Purity intensifies this, freeing you from negative energy patterns that ultimately take power and often choice away from others just by taking a selfish approach to everything involving them, one that walls off the possibility of other preference.

That, then, is narcissism and it can be taken to extremes such as demanding all your friends, your entire society, always eat only at your favorite pizzeria every Friday night for years unending, even though their pizza is kind of crappy with a crust like a cracker. Or believing that your personal trite pecuniary interests are more important than an entire society of love and support, if you can just sell one more ecommerce item, but it's super-important to you that all your friends lives be merged directly to your business, which you run according to its needs and your personal predilections, nothing personal you just need the dwell in front of your vending machines, except it's completely personal. Narcissism is making and recording prank phone calls and telling yourself it's okay because you're really doing them a favor, and then playing these recordings to people you know like war trophies. 

Maybe narcissism is antagonizing people to react and then arguing their understandable reactions are a justification to build up a vast anti-griefing infrastructure, which you command like a state-within-state never mind all community standards or governance, now you have a paramilitary and ain't nobody to stop you now. Maybe narcissism is denigrating someone endlessly because you believe their ideas are stupid for whatever reason, and you feel sated somehow to endlessly point this out rather than see what happens if their ideas are instead nurtured to at least within view of their natural conclusions. In general, nurturing is not your thing if you're a narcissist, or it's twisted somehow to be about you, not them, making co-creation within range of you impossible to the point it negatively impacts everyone. But you don't see the negative impact because they're hidden by your reality distortion field that everything must be as you see it through your tinted lenses. 

People often confuse momentary selfishness, or even defensiveness, with narcissism because there's an energy exchange in common, but it really takes the depth and extremity of a committed sociopathic narcissist to seem worthy of the label. The nastiest ones turn everyone around them into a groupthink extension of themselves like some sort of hydra or dark egregore curse hanging over their entire society ready to strike out like narcissistic lightning. Magic. It's these high level narcissists, the ones who understand appearances really well, who can absolutely sail on through perimeter defenses and start propagating their viral groupmind as if by telepathy just by conditioning people to go along with them to the exclusion of free will and positive vibes.

Edited by Chroma Starlight
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