Jump to content

Are we all being too nice ?


You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 118 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

2 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Oh well then. My maternal grandfather was a recipient of a Nobel peace prize, I guess that means I'm an expert on conflict resolution? 

   You compare autistic people to children. If you fail to understand how that is prejudice, I suppose you are incapable of grasping the meaning of that word - which is quite ironic, seeing as even children are taught what prejudice is and how to avoid it.

No, I was not comparing them to children at all.  My other post mentioned children and how inappropriate reactions lead to neuroses and then I'm adding one needs to remember there are autistic people that come to the forums as well as autistic people have different levels that others cannot possibly know and reacting inappropriately to autistic people is not a good thing when you do not know their level of autism.  I never said they were children.  Talk about twisting words for likes, jeeeeeeesh.

  • Thanks 1
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Words and word placement mean things.

You were reminded that there are no children here, then went on to mention Autistic people as part of your reasoning for mentioning children.

Choose your words a bit more carefully.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

The last thing you don't want to do around an autistic person is to react inappropriately.

I think it's admirable that you are considering the needs of others when formulating a response to them. We all have our quirks or 'conditions', and when we get to know others we can develop patience regarding how we might respond when they fall short of our expectations. 

Many don't want to be treated in a special way in accordance with their quirk or 'condition' though, and we have to take that into account too.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the point is that we're all from different backgrounds with different personal and health situations, and that may be something to keep in mind when interacting here. Not everyone's at the same level of eloquence, or way of thinking, so maybe we can be more patient? Or maybe not since this thread is about us being too damn nice.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Oh well then. My maternal grandfather was a recipient of a Nobel peace prize, I guess that means I'm an expert on conflict resolution? 

   You compare autistic people to children. If you fail to understand how that is prejudice, I suppose you are incapable of grasping the meaning of that word - which is quite ironic, seeing as even children are taught what prejudice is and how to avoid it.

Exactly… I am rather puzzled too by that statement. I have Asperger’s so officially I’m “in the spectrum”.  Human reactions and emotions normally go way above my head. 
Farrie’s statement “the last thing you do with an autistic person is to react inappropriately” - or something along those lines just quoting from memory, not verbatim- is sort of odd. If you are in my shade of the Asperger’s spectrum, reactions don’t really faze you… inappropriate or otherwise. 😄

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

Farrie’s statement “the last thing you do with an autistic person is to react inappropriately” - or something along those lines just quoting from memory, not verbatim- is sort of odd. If you are in my shade of the Asperger’s spectrum, reactions don’t really faze you… inappropriate or otherwise.

I *think* she is trying to say, that because many people with autism have trouble understanding emotions it's helpful to be as emotionally clear as possible when interacting with them.

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

I *think* she is trying to say, that because many people with autism have trouble understanding emotions it's helpful to be as emotionally clear as possible when interacting with them.

I think you’re right, I was just a little puzzled by that particular reference to reactions. 🙂

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I *think* she is trying to say, that because many people with autism have trouble understanding emotions it's helpful to be as emotionally clear as possible when interacting with them.

Oh, absolutely.   And autism is not an age; it's levels.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

49 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

No, I was not comparing them to children at all.  My other post mentioned children and how inappropriate reactions lead to neuroses and then I'm adding one needs to remember there are autistic people that come to the forums as well as autistic people have different levels that others cannot possibly know and reacting inappropriately to autistic people is not a good thing when you do not know their level of autism.  I never said they were children.  Talk about twisting words for likes, jeeeeeeesh.

Everyone knows what you meant. Don't even give it another thought.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Then perhaps she should have said that.

That would be ideal, and we could encourage Fairre to speak more clearly or 'fill out' her sentences more. But not everyone can speak as clearly and succinctly as you can. Writing well is actually a skill, a talent, and not everyone has it, though they can always improve.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

That would be ideal, and we could encourage Fairre to speak more clearly or 'fill out' her sentences more. But not everyone can speak as clearly and succinctly as you can. Writing well is actually a skill, a talent, and not everyone has it, though they can always improve.

Wow...did you really write this?  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Oh, absolutely.   And autism is not an age; it's levels.  

Fairre tbh Levels are very much a label. Autism is a spectrum really, say that there are 100 boxes that define specific autistic traits. I may tick 3 and someone else may tick 50 and still be in the spectrum.

Asperger’s is level 1 however I never required any support. I’m an accomplished vet surgeon but I am still socially awkward.   That’s why I find working with large animals liberating. 
This may not apply to everyone with Asperger’s either, it could be just my particular shade of Asperger’s.

Edited by Krystina Ferraris
Pesky spelling
Link to comment
Share on other sites

26 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

Actually that IS all I do!

Please tell me you are not just sitting there staring at your avatar for hours at a time? Please, please tell me you do at least think about things while sitting there! And breathe! You gotta breathe! You avatar may not need to but you do! And, and, and...do you take a book with you when you go to the bathroom  like me? 🤭

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:
4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That would be ideal, and we could encourage Fairre to speak more clearly or 'fill out' her sentences more. But not everyone can speak as clearly and succinctly as you can. Writing well is actually a skill, a talent, and not everyone has it, though they can always improve.

Wow...did you really write this?  

What are you questioning?

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Sam1 Bellisserian said:
3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

What are you questioning?

Don't act ignorant

You're projecting. I'm not "acting" in any way. I meant what I said.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

Fairre tbh Levels are very much a label. Autism is a spectrum really, say that there are 100 boxes that define specific autistic traits. I may tick 3 and someone else tick 50 and still be in the spectrum. Asperger’s is level 1 however I never required any support. I’m an accomplished vet surgeon but I am still awkward socially. That’s why I find working with large animals liberating. 
This may not apply to everyone with Asperger’s either, it could be just my particular shade of Asperger’s.

Yes, that puts it even clearer.  It is a spectrum.  My Dad was a pioneer in the field of autism and before I met his patients I had to learn certain things about how to react but this was a long time ago.  Thanks for sharing this about Asperger's.  

I'm not asking for people to treat anyone "specially" Luna, I have just been listing ways wherein I think inappropriate reactions are not a good idea.   I don't think it's good for the community.  Some people feel targeted too and does everyone know the reason why someone may feel targeted?  Of course they don't.  What if someone only has a 5th grade education for another example?  I'm just sayin'...think before you react in an odd way because it is odd.

 

Edited by FairreLilette
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry but if we all need to somehow assess everyone's mental state or capacity to interact on the forums, I'll pass.  If YOU have issues dealing with bad reactions or trouble deciphering what those reactions might mean or even if they bother you in the least, that's not MY problem.

We are all adults here.  We are the only ones who know ourselves and our limitations.  Unless someone specifically tells us they are on the spectrum, how are we to know?  Do we need to treat everyone with kid gloves so as not to offend?  Why even bother coming to the forums if you're triggered so easily?

There are a few people who have mentioned certain issues they have in RL.  Hopefully, I won't do or say something to offend them but then again, it's THEIR issue and not mine to censor what I say or how I react.

ETA   I have personally and privately apologized to a couple people whom I did offend.  I'm not above saying I was wrong and apologizing.  I also remember who those people are and interact with them accordingly now.

Edited by Rowan Amore
  • Like 10
  • Thanks 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

Sorry but if we all need to somehow assess everyone's mental state or capacity to interact on the forums, I'll pass.  If YOU have issues dealing with bad reactions or trouble deciphering what those reactions might mean or even if they bother you in the least, that's not MY problem.

We are all adults here.  We are the only ones who know ourselves and our limitations.  Unless someone specifically tells us they are on the spectrum, how are we to know?  Do we need to treat everyone with kid gloves so as not to offend?  Why even bother coming to the forums if you're triggered so easily?

There are a few people who have mentioned certain issues they have in RL.  Hopefully, I won't do or say something to offend them but then again, it's THEIR issue and not mine to censor what I say or how I react.

Yes I agree that it is their issue, their responsibility.

But I'd like to help if I can. It doesn't cost me anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Sorry but if we all need to somehow assess everyone's mental state or capacity to interact on the forums, I'll pass.  If YOU have issues dealing with bad reactions or trouble deciphering what those reactions might mean or even if they bother you in the least, that's not MY problem.

We are all adults here.  We are the only ones who know ourselves and our limitations.  Unless someone specifically tells us they are on the spectrum, how are we to know?  Do we need to treat everyone with kid gloves so as not to offend?  Why even bother coming to the forums if you're triggered so easily?

There are a few people who have mentioned certain issues they have in RL.  Hopefully, I won't do or say something to offend them but then again, it's THEIR issue and not mine to censor what I say or how I react.

THIS!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Yes I agree that it is their issue, their responsibility.

But I'd like to help if I can. It doesn't cost me anything.

I did add that I have apologized but only after those people messaged me.  We discussed what was said, I understood their position and have tried not to engage them in the same way again.

But, I only knew because they told me why.  Just the mere fact that someone doesn't like my confused reaction is not a reason for me to change how I react.  

This would be a very dull place if we all agreed on everything.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 118 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...