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Are we all being too nice ?


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1 minute ago, Rolig Loon said:

THIS ^^  That's why I don't usually get into forum catfights. I have better things to do with my time and blood pressure than dealing with mean people.

And why sometimes, all I do give is a reaction.  

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I think we should replace the smiley's we have, with Italian hand gestures, because they have the best hand gestures ever.

I think that anyways..

It sure would clear up the confusion some are having with the confused smiley.. hehehe

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7 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

That locked thread was hilarious.  It was a response to me giving a post she made a confused reaction and I did explain to her why after she ranted in that thread also.   As you can tell from the locked thread, there's sometimes a valid reason for not actually engaging with certain people.

It always boggles my mind just how over the top some can go when another reacts to their posts. It does not bode well for how they'll react to truly bad/worse things.

6 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

And why sometimes, all I do give is a reaction.  

More often than not, I find it absolutely futile to do more than react to some users.

Forgive the edit but I do feel some clarification is needed on the above sentence: It is especially futile here where one cannot even come close to speaking/typing their mind.

Edited by Solar Legion
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3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I think we should replace the smiley's we have, with Italian hand gestures, because they have the best hand gestures ever.

I think that anyways..

It sure would clear up the confusion some are having with the confused smiley.. hehehe

Yes please

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15 minutes ago, JanuarySwan said:

I feel that some of the "forumites" would like us to be nicey-nicey which translates to not be controversial. 

That does stifle free speech a bit here.  

 

There is no such thing as free speech here or anywhere else on the internet. 

Free speech means only one thing - that you are allowed to talk smack about your national government without fear of arrest. Nothing more than that. 

Every internet forum is a privately hosted venue with its own terms and conditions. It's the equivalent of me hosting a party at my house, inviting a bunch of people round, and making my own rules about the expected standard of behaviour, like not kicking my cat or taking a leak in a flowerpot. 

The only freedom you have on any internet site is the freedom to walk away and not participate, if you disagree with their T&Cs.

It's not "forumites" that don't want controversy here. Unless by "forumite" you mean Linden Lab, who own it. The rest of us have no say in how the forum is run or moderated.

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2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

That locked thread was hilarious.  It was a response to me giving a post she made a confused reaction and I did explain to her why after she ranted in that thread also.   As you can tell from the locked thread, there's sometimes a valid reason for not actually engaging with certain people.

 

I read the thread after I posted in the 'I'm Being Targeted' thread.  In the I'm being targeted thread I was generalizing about the whole reaction thing.  

It seems to me that that particular WTF involved things that had occurred prior wherein the person was told she could NOT speak about a business she was involved in but others could post about stores and sales endlessly.  That part made me go hmmmmmm, in that I agree with her.  And, then you mentioned in that thread that there was even a thread about cheap decorating stores and what are the best but still she can't post?  If we can talk about stores I did not see why she was so in the wrong talking about her venture.  Without going all that off topic, although this is a drama situation of who can post about stores and who can't, it seemed to me she was being targeted for past offenses which again are not that big of a deal to me but this forum gets bent out of shape easily.  In that thread she also mentioned these reactions are one of the reasons people don't want to post on the forum, and you reacted with a sad face.  So, I felt it was worth bringing up.  

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21 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

I read the thread after I posted in the 'I'm Being Targeted' thread.  In the I'm being targeted thread I was generalizing about the whole reaction thing.  

It seems to me that that particular WTF involved things that had occurred prior wherein the person was told she could NOT speak about a business she was involved in but others could post about stores and sales endlessly.  That part made me go hmmmmmm, in that I agree with her.  And, then you mentioned in that thread that there was even a thread about cheap decorating stores and what are the best but still she can't post?  If we can talk about stores I did not see why she was so in the wrong talking about her venture.  Without going all that off topic, although this is a drama situation of who can post about stores and who can't, it seemed to me she was being targeted for past offenses which again are not that big of a deal to me but this forum gets bent out of shape easily.  In that thread she also mentioned these reactions are one of the reasons people don't want to post on the forum, and you reacted with a sad face.  So, I felt it was worth bringing up.  

It's fairly simple.  If it's a store you are somehow affiliated with, it would be considered advertising.  The home furnishing thread is not that.  People find deals when they are out and about and tell others.  No one is promoting any specific store or creator.  That she didn't comprehend that difference and continued harassing the OP until she asked for the thread to be deleted?  Way worse than a simple reaction button.

Again, if a simple confused, sad or laugh is that upsetting, perhaps this isn't the place to post.

ETA. The origin of The Targeted thread was a thread in my avatar concerning whether the TMP body was still available and not the one about posting stores with sale items.

Edited by Rowan Amore
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1 minute ago, FairreLilette said:

 

It seems to me that that particular WTF involved things that had occurred prior wherein the person was told she could NOT speak about a business she was involved in but others could post about stores and sales endlessly.  

The way I see it, is that anyone can post about stores they have no business connection with, and nobody can post about stores they do have a business connection with.

I don't think the OP in that other thread is being singled out. The same rule would apply to anyone who tried promoting their own store or products. It's a completely different thing to "hey look what I found".

When I post in the "what does your avatar look like now" I sometimes provide a list of what I'm wearing, or at least mention something new I bought. That's the same sort of thing. I bought hair from wherever (Magika, no doubt) but I don't own Magika, so that's fair. But if Sabina Gully came along and posted a new pic each week with her new hair and links to the Magika store, that would rightfully be stopped.

Spam isn't only about what's being said, it's also dependent on who's saying it, and why.

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41 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

It's fairly simple.  If it's a store you are somehow affiliated with, it would be considered advertising.  The home furnishing thread is not that.  People find deals when they are out and about and tell others.  No one is promoting any specific store or creator.  That she didn't comprehend that difference and continued harassing the OP until she asked for the thread to be deleted?  Way worse than a simple reaction button.

Again, if a simple confused, sad or laugh is that upsetting, perhaps this isn't the place to post.

ETA. The origin of The Targeted thread was a thread in my avatar concerning whether the TMP body was still available and not the one about posting stores with sale items.

The thing is though she said these confused reactions are the reason many don't want to post on the forums, and you reacted with a sad face.  So, partly you do understand it's not always the best way to deal with things.  However, I'd say mostly on this forum, we talk about things that have been talked about already a dozen times.  

As far as who can/can't, yes I've seen how it works here but how do you know some (I'm not saying all) who mention other businesses aren't an alt for that business spamming?  It's like it's okay as long as it's not the actual person, so an alt could do it.  

48 minutes ago, Maitimo said:

When I post in the "what does your avatar look like now" I sometimes provide a list of what I'm wearing, or at least mention something new I bought. 

This I don't mind but others might.  There really aren't a lot of happy mediums regarding certain things.  

I pretty much adopt a live and let live attitude here, and when I said free speech I said that which ISN'T against the TOS of the Community Guidelines here.  

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9 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Oh for ... 

If a little reaction image/selection makes you hesitate to post in a forum, online interaction in general is not for you.

This is probably true for the most part but you don't know every situation.  When these scorn laughs started happening to me it was after a post I had written out about how the SL computer specs are most likely there because the specs are for the Classic avatar and since LL doesn't know what kind of products the user-made content is going to be how can they determine what specs are needed.  And, then I get for days these laughs on every post I made for days about things that aren't funny.  I reported it.  The person still does it but does it to a lot and I mean a lot of posters on this forum.  It's annoying at times but I've gotten used to the annoyance.  

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18 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

The thing is though she said these confused reactions are the reason many don't want to post on the forums, and you reacted with a sad face.  So, partly you do understand it's not always the best way to deal with things.  However, I'd say mostly on this forum, we talk about things that have been talked about already a dozen times.  

As far as who can/can't, yes I've seen how it works here but how do you know some (I'm not saying all) who mention other businesses aren't an alt for that business spamming?  It's like it's okay as long as it's not the actual person, so an alt could do it.  

This I don't mind but others might.  There really aren't a lot of happy mediums regarding certain things.  

I pretty much adopt a live and let live attitude here, and when I said free speech I said that which ISN'T against the TOS of the Community Guidelines here.  

My sad reaction wasn't sadness or empathy.  I just didn't want to wear out my confused button.

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Ah yes, the "scorn laugh" - that thing that people invented as an explanation for when another user finds the entire post itself or the entire premise behind it to be amusing (or when it is used in a manner similar to how Rowan uses the confused reaction).

I do not need to know every situation. If you're that hesitant to post because of a simple reaction being selected, if it really bothers you that much ... Fora are not for you, to say little about most online interaction.

You are going to run into people who will find that directly responding with an actual post ... simply is not worth the time. You are going to run into people who will simply cut to the chase or be quite abrupt in their responses. You're going to get responses from people on their off days or during a point when they're tired of a particular topic/question/what have you is brought up, continually and on occasion put into the wrong place on the Forum.

That list goes on and on. The absolute least part of it ... is a reaction button.

Edited by Solar Legion
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11 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

My sad reaction wasn't sadness or empathy.  I just didn't want to wear out my confused button.

I was this close to losing my chia water when the last part of what you said caught me off guard.. hehehe

13tgst.jpg

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I think we should have:

😍 for 'REALLY like'

 😮 for 'wow!'

😺 for 'like' only on the Totally Official, Approved Cat Thread

👻 for necroposts

Imagine the drama this one would cause! 🥱

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12 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

 If people don't want to read what I wrote why not just scroll by?

It is because we are dealing with young people with immature minds and short attention spans. they could be those who hated to read books in school. I recently dealt with young people complaining about Britney Spears posts on her Instagram. They only looked lengthy because of the way that IG is formatted. Yes, she does have posts that are several paragraphs, but that is called expressing your thoughts.

It is why I don't like Twitter. So much censorship with word character limits.

If you don't want to read, it's not needed for you to write a rude comment.

People do it because they have the anonymity of the web. They can be mean as hell and get away with it.

Yes, people's words do get under the skin. you see it all over social media, and how it affects people in the entertainment industry as well. 

It's getting crazier out here on the wild west of the web with people attacking left and right.

I'd love it if people could be nice or not say anything if they don't like what is there.

What happened to common courtesy and politeness?

What happened to the people who enjoy length discussions, in multiple paragraphs per post?

Gone with the wind, like the classic movie, gone in the past.

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Ah yes, because the entire point of a forum is to only ever respond to things you agree with, find interesting, etc .... Being an adult goes both ways - you'd best be able to handle people responding in ways you do not personally like.

The same can be said of the expectation of being polite. Being polite has its place as does being blunt. If you cannot handle the latter, that is on you. 

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On 6/21/2021 at 4:42 PM, Kytteh Wytchwood said:

The OP asked for "mesh" recommendations, not classic avatars. This is derailing the topic. You are also spamming this thread with advertising your hangout, for people to come to.

That doesn't have anything to do with this thread either.

1 hour ago, Kytteh Wytchwood said:

Fair enough. Just the way you wrote it, was putting down everyone else's suggestions because you don't like them.

Maybe you could have said, "Personally, I am not into the suggestions above, but here is what I do love that I think you may like.

10 minutes ago, Kytteh Wytchwood said:

I'd love it if people could be nice or not say anything if they don't like what is there.

You reap what you sow.

If you don't want to read, it's not needed for you to write a rude comment.

 

Edited by Rowan Amore
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4 minutes ago, Kytteh Wytchwood said:

It is because we are dealing with young people with immature minds and short attention spans.

As a not-young-for-a-very-long-time person, I sometimes have the same knee-jerk reaction that you do, but it can't be that simple. I have known way too many insensitive, immature, impatient people my own age to put it all on the backs of "kids".  After all, who invented, "GET THE F$^*%#@!! OFF MY LAWN!  ?

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10 minutes ago, Kytteh Wytchwood said:

If you don't want to read, it's not needed for you to write a rude comment.

People do it because they have the anonymity of the web. They can be mean as hell and get away with it.

I agree with you Kytteh that these drama queen/king reactions are rude at times, that does not mean all of the time.  

However, we say people behind the avatars have feelings.  People on the forum do as well.  There has to be some understanding regarding certain ways to act towards others on the forum.  I was stalked for days with scorn laughs for writing a post that the SL computer specs are there because they were probably written for the Classic avatar and LL doesn't know what kinds of other types of products people are buying nor creating.    And, it was shocking at first and was very odd to say the least.  I did report the person but she still does it and does it to a lot of posters here.

Edited by FairreLilette
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