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Are we all being too nice ?


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I never really cared for any of the social networks from the start.. I'm just glad I made the choice back then to stay away from them all..

I wouldn't want to see the forums changed into going that direction, Because I would just have to put them with the other things I never did..

These forums aren't that bad really, If you know how to surf them.. hehehe

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11 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

As much as we might dislike drama, it's addictive and engaging as all hell.

I don't like drama and I don't watch any TV at all probably because of that.  Before SL, I had been doing different art projects in my pass time but that particular pass time was hurting my back, so I decided to look into SL for a possible building hobby.  I actually had wanted to learn Photoshop for 15 years and finally did, not that I know everything about PS but I learned a lot in the past few years.  

As far as too nice, no, not like that plastic type women in the Bob Dylan song "Positively 4th Street" where Bob writes "you see me on the streets, you always act surprised, you say how are you, good luck, but you don't mean it".   I do not think people in SL are like that women but I have known fake people who are very much like the woman Bob describes in the song I am speaking about as they are all about appearances, manners and money which comes down to their position and place that Bob further describes in the song.

If someone is not causing any harm with their post I simply feel others should just leave it be and not stalk them around with inappropriate reactions; it's rude for one plus it's not necessary.  If someone is genuinely confused that's one thing.  If it's needed that's another but many times it's not needed, it's just a stick it your face kind of thing.  Same with the scorn laughs on posts that are not funny.  

 

Edited by FairreLilette
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Yes, sometimes kindness can be fake and/or look “excessive”. But so can hostility—in fact, I’d say it’s as common. People coming to a place to be the most antagonistic & idiotic they can be, in the loudest possible way... and often bringing buddies with them, to ensure they’ll have an audience who’ll clap them and pat them in the back afterwards, for the supposed merit of the act. I know a lot people are drawn to, or genuinely entertained by others doing it, in a shallow ‘ooo shiny!’ way, but I honestly can’t bring myself to be impressed by it. It’s just as fake, and therefore, every bit as stupid, if not more. At least fake kindness often has a genuinely good purpose to it: it avoids gratuitously making others feel uncomfortable. And if I want acted hostility, I’ll go watch a movie—at least the actors there are often professional & skilled, plus there’s an actual, deeper point being made than just the act itself.

Same for fake activity, really. ’Lively’ club whose activity consists of everyone desperately gesturebating over each other, to the point where no meaningful talk can be held? Yeah, thanks, but I still feel very unimpressed by its sheer fakeness.

If at some point, in some place, people are there but quiet, it’s because they want to be quiet at that particular moment; I don’t have that kind of need to change them to my benefit; if I’m bored, that’s my problem, not theirs. I know a lot of people can’t actually grasp that (even if they say they can), but it’s true. One only needs to remember the last time one had to go AFK for a relatively long time, or actually focus on an absorbing IM, and one will (or at least should) understand that others might do the same in their own time.

So no, I can’t say I’m terribly bothered by ‘nice and quiet’.

Edited by Ren Toxx
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11 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

 I won't usually waste my time trying to show a whacko the error of her ways or convince a troll to be nice.

...takes the deepest offense and collapses in a puddle of tears, unsure if she's wasting her time, a whacko, or both.

11 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

just be silly

I'm doing the best I can, dammit!

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36 minutes ago, Ren Toxx said:

Same for fake activity, really. ’Lively’ club whose activity consists of everyone desperately gesturebating over each other, to the point where no meaningful talk can be held? Yeah, thanks, but I still feel very unimpressed by its sheer fakeness.

If at some point, in some place, people are there but quiet

I think perhaps that is more to lack of knowing what to say.  I try to say several things in local chat but try to keep it about the song or light-hearted.

The woman in the Bob Dylan song is quite different from just using "formalities" which is not what I was talking about.

POSITIVELY 4th STREET

You've got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend
When I was down you just stood there grinnin'
You've got a lotta nerve to say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on the side that's winnin'
You say I let you down, ya know its not like that
If you're so hurt, why then don't you show it?
You say you've lost your faith, but that's not where its at
You have no faith to lose, and ya know it
I know the reason, that you talked behind my back
I used to be among the crowd you're in with
Do you take me for such a fool, to think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide what he don't know to begin with?
You see me on the street, you always act surprised
You say "how are you?", "good luck", but you don't mean it
When you know as well as me, you'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once and scream it
No, I do not feel that good when I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief perhaps I'd rob them
And tho I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place
Don't you understand, its not my problem?
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is to see you
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Bob Dylan
Positively 4th Street
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I think I'm going to echo what a couple of other people said already: Second Life missed that boat and when people are logged in the engagement inworld is secondary for a large number of people.

Is it recoverable? In some ways it is, but I think it has more to do with simply being more engaging than creating friction. Friction will come by people being engaged.

I think a simple, elegant solution would be to incorporate some of those elements into a new UI. I'm not sure being twitter like would work. Some features of discord might work, like the ability to put video and gifs in chat. I think we have some aspects of Reddit subs already in groups. I think we have aspects of social media, they just need to be updated and actually made to work. So, yeah...update the UI.

Then look at what people are tabbed out for. From what I've seen, besides real life stuff, most people are tabbed out to play video games or watch Netflix. I know people can kind of stream media on a prim or buy a media player. Why hasn't LL partnered with Netflix or some other media platform to stream media? I'm sure there's a legal reason in there, but still. Wouldn't it be cool if you could link your netflix account to your SL account and watch Netflix with your friends inworld? I'm not saying Netflix is the answer, but something along those lines, without having to buy a media player or have the technical know how to share a stream. It should just be in your inventory, ready go.

The game thing might be harder to crack. I'm not saying Second Life should be competing with Steam. When you could no longer gamble inworld, it kind of left a big hole. I know there's Linden Realms, but I think they should keep trying games. Linden Realms never really grabbed me. I know there are user made systems like BeYou and Really Needy, but I think they need a little more refinement, but they have the right idea.

I think plain old engagement is key. LL probably could do with hiring some kind of consultant for this stuff. It's doable though, it just needs some kind of expert that specializes in the psychology of engagement.

 

Edited by Janet Voxel
for clarity
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LL should do something about the building tools. Adding new prim shapes, a mesh converter, maybe a basic mesh shapes library (that could easily be a premium perk or a Premium Plus feature).

When I started in 2007 people where building everywhere.
With a few weeks of practice your buildings where almost halfway as good as Ingrid's prefabs already. ;)
But the good old toddler blocs are totally no competition to creations made in Blender anymore
So most of the amateur builders have left and new ones are no longer interested in exploring SL.

Bring the builders back to SL.

Edited by Sid Nagy
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24 minutes ago, Janet Voxel said:

I think I'm going to echo what a couple of other people said already: Second Life missed that boat and when people are logged in the engagement inworld is secondary for a large number of people.

Is it recoverable? In some ways it is, but I think it has more to do with simply being more engaging than creating friction. Friction will come by people being engaged.

I think a simple, elegant solution would be to incorporate some of those elements into a new UI. I'm not sure being twitter like would work. Some features of discord might work, like the ability to put video and gifs in chat. I think we have some aspects of Reddit in groups already in groups. I think we have aspects of social media, they just need to be updated and actually made to work. So, yeah...update the UI.

Then look at what people are tabbed out for. From what I've seen, besides real life stuff, most people are tabbed out to play video games or watch Netflix. I know people can watch kind of stream media on a prim or buy a media player. Why hasn't LL partnered with Netflix or some other media platform to stream media? I'm sure there's a legal reason in there, but still. Wouldn't it be cool if you could link your netflix account to your SL account and watch Netflix with your friends inworld? I'm not saying Netflix is the answer, but something along those lines, without having to buy a media player or have the technical know how to share a stream. It should just be in your inventory, ready go.

The game thing might be harder to crack. I'm not saying Second Life should be competing with Steam. When you could no longer gamble inworld, it kind of left a big hole. I know there's Linden Realms, but I think they should keep trying games. Linden Realms never really grabbed me. I know there are user made systems like BeYou and Really Needy, but I think they need a little more refinement, but they have the right idea.

I think plain old engagement is key. LL probably could do with hiring some kind of consultant for this stuff. It's doable though, it just needs some kind of expert that specializes in the psychology of engagement.

 

Just to add a bit about streaming...there is a new thing about decentralized video streaming.  I'm not so sure SL should continue to ignore the blockchain completely 'if' it does go for a new UI.  I'm sure blockchain and the rest is a different discussion though as that's all very involved.  But video streaming is changing direction to decentralized and quite faster for a couple of things.

Edited by FairreLilette
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The silence inworld could be because we're not nice at all. People get touchy about getting IMd by strangers or getting bumped accidentally, it's enough to make you want to avoid people altogether. Most of the IMs I've gotten from strangers start off with "sorry to bother you... ", it's sad when people feel they can't approach others and have to start with an apology.

Drama wouldn't be good for sl because people would just end up being blocked. Even leaving a product review puts you at risk of that.

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10 hours ago, Aiyumei said:

I think is more of lag and performance issues that keep people from being in the same place.

That's worth thinking about. RecRoom and VRchat do better with 10 people in the same space than SL does. Why is that?

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21 minutes ago, AdminGirl said:

Most of the IMs I've gotten from strangers start off with "sorry to bother you... ", it's sad when people feel they can't approach others and have to start with an apology.

   I'm not sure it's always the case, but with English being a second language where I'm from, and with the study of English in school being focused on British English and culture (or at least was when I went to school), we had it drilled into our skulls that one should always approach a stranger with 'pardon me' and that failing to do so could be perceived as extremely impolite. Those please and thank yous may not be as prevalent in modern English either in Britain or the US as it was back in whenever my generation's teachers were given their impressions of English (60's-80's) - and what English media were available over here at that time were primarily films, which often put a high standard of eloquence and politeness in many of their characters. 

   Heck, Swedish was much the same until the 'Du-reform' of the 70's, which completely ruined not just the language, but the social hierarchy. 

   Anyway, personally I don't think that politeness is a bad thing, I find it rather refreshing with a proper 'how do you do', in a world of 'yo whatup's. 

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6 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Forum seems very quiet to me lately, but I've not been active much either.

I don't know if it's "reopening anxiety" or what, but I've found my mood low and stressed lately and I know others are feeling the same. I've been spending less time on the Internet as a result. And when I do, I'm at places where swearing is allowed (not at other people). 

I was doing that last night while trying to make dinner. *shakes fist at Murphy*

I have a nice oven burn to show for it though. 🥴

Edited by Silent Mistwalker
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3 minutes ago, Orwar said:

we had it drilled into our skulls that one should always approach a stranger with 'pardon me' and that failing to do so could be perceived as extremely impolite.

I think it depends on context, but I agree in general.  If there's much of a chance that I might actually be interrupting, in other words, I will almost always start with an apology for entering the person's space.  So, if I am looking cheese in an unfamiliar grocery, I might stop a stranger to ask, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the cheese is?" If I am approaching a stranger at a social gathering, though, I'm more likely to just say something inane like, "Boy, are my feet tired!" 

 

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5 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

I've also been feeling quite uneasy recently, and so have people I know IRL. Finding it hard to relax and concentrate on things...

Sending you lucky vibes ☘️

It is very difficult to go back to what was normal when you have gotten so used to being able to let your hair down all the time. It's not unusual to be reluctant to going back to behavior that really isn't you but what is expected of you. It's stressful and that makes it hard to relax and concentrate.

Edited by Silent Mistwalker
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5 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I can be less nice if you all want.  

   Yes .. Please. Wiggles eyebrows.

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6 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:
18 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

 I won't usually waste my time trying to show a whacko the error of her ways or convince a troll to be nice.

...takes the deepest offense and collapses in a puddle of tears, unsure if she's wasting her time, a whacko, or both.

She said USUALLY!!

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