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Are we all being too nice ?


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1 hour ago, Robin Kiyori said:

Oh duck me...

 

When I said sometimes us autistic folk can get wires crossed and how it can make communication hard, I did not  want nor mean for it to be miscontruscted as an excuse to be abelist.  (and don't get me started on how  "functioning" labels are load of rubbish. We'll be here all day on that little train).  It just meant that sometimes miscommunication happens. Ya know like how it happens to any other person.

Also comparng adult autistic folk to children is scummy. even if  unintentional. 

I did not intentionally nor unintentionally compare autistic people to children.   I'm talking about inappropriate reactions and honestly they can effect grown relationships as well especially those of partners.  I was going to make a list but wasn't sure I was heard at all anyway.  There are many ways someone could misunderstood the confused reaction when it's not a confusing post or misunderstand a laugh at their post when it isn't funny.  I am mostly talking about newbies in my posts though and how that is perceived.  One doesn't know the person here or their background.  Autism is not an age if you didn't read my other post.

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15 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Oh for ...

And yes, I find that you still haven't understood what has been said to be incredibly amusing.

Solar, some people feel protective of those who might not have the same skills as others in social situations. There are all kinds of categories of people that might cause one to feel a sense of wanting to protect or be sensitive toward such a person -- categories such as children, people with certain conditions or 'quirks', people undergoing a rough time.

The above is how 'children' and 'people with a condition, including autism' relate to each other -- it does not mean, and it never meant for Fairre, that people with certain conditions are EXACTLY like children. This was your interpretation on page 7, and it has caused a lot of confusion.

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14 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

The above is how 'children' and 'people with a condition, including autism' relate to each other -- it does not mean, and it never meant for Fairre, that people with certain conditions are EXACTLY like children. This was your interpretation on page 7, and it has caused a lot of confusion.

From going back and rereading, it appears that Solar was not the only one to interpret the post that way.  If more than one person interprets the post as having compared children to autistic folk and that was not the intent of the comments, then I'd have to say that said comments were definitely very poorly worded.

It is only valid to blame the interpreter if only one person interpreted it that way.  If multiple people interpreted something wrong, then I blame the speaker/writer.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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1 minute ago, LittleMe Jewell said:
15 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

The above is how 'children' and 'people with a condition, including autism' relate to each other -- it does not mean, and it never meant for Fairre, that people with certain conditions are EXACTLY like children. This was your interpretation on page 7, and it has caused a lot of confusion.

From going back and rereading, it appears that Solar was not the only one to interpret the post that way.  If more than one person interprets the post as having compared children to autistic folk and that was not the intent of the comments, then I'd have to say that said comments were definitely very poorly worded.

I totally agree that Fairre did not describe what she meant clearly.

However, did you ever hear the story about how one person can whisper a sentence to someone who is supposed to repeat it to another....and the repetition goes on for 10 or more people? By the time the tenth person hears the sentence it's very different from what was said. Something similar, though not to this degree, happens on the forums at times. Look at page 7, you can see it...Solar twists the meaning and then Orwar jumps in....now others are repeating it who most likely never read how the whole thing progressed. I've seen this dynamic in forums a million times.

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Luna, sit down and stop trying to pin all the woes of the world on a single person (exaggeration) - it was an old tactic elsewhere (and got you in trouble there) and it really should not be allowed here.

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1 minute ago, Solar Legion said:

Luna, sit down and stop trying to pin all the woes of the world on a single person (exaggeration) - it was an old tactic elsewhere (and got you in trouble there) and it really should not be allowed here.

Let's stick to what's happening now.

The thing is, if someone says something and it's not very clear, why jump in and assign the worst possible meaning to what they said?

It's good to ask for clarification before judgement...that is I guess unless you really get off on demonizing people.

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Except that the meaning - as presented in the words used and how they were used, left very little "confusion" as to their meaning. Further, my initial response had nothing to do with Autism and was in response specifically to the notion of children being present here.

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2 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Except that the meaning - as presented in the words used and how they were used, left very little "confusion" as to their meaning.

I will repeat again, that Fairre did not mean what you think she did. As I said a couple posts up:

Solar, some people feel protective of those who might not have the same skills as others in social situations. There are all kinds of categories of people that might cause one to feel a sense of wanting to protect or be sensitive toward such a person -- categories such as children, people with certain conditions or 'quirks', people undergoing a rough time.

The above is how 'children' and 'people with a condition, including autism' relate to each other -- it does not mean, and it never meant for Fairre, that people with certain conditions are EXACTLY like children. This was your interpretation on page 7, and it has caused a lot of confusion.

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Fairre has defended herself. I have tried to clarify. Why do you keep insisting that we vilify Fairre for something you're only imagining she did?

You need to back off when people tell you their truth.

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17 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Let's stick to what's happening now.

The thing is, if someone says something and it's not very clear, why jump in and assign the worst possible meaning to what they said?

It's good to ask for clarification before judgement...that is I guess unless you really get off on demonizing people.

Yep.  

And when a person makes a list this does not mean they are comparisons.  I wasn't making a comparison chart.  It should be fully known by simple logic that if one started reacting to their partner with inappropriate reactions, which could be seen as passive-aggressive and/or "mind games", they will eventually end up in divorce court.  There are all kinds of reasons.  Reasons are not comparisons.  

I was not making any comparisons such as apples, apples, apples, apples.  There are lots of ways inappropriate reactions can effect a variety of peoples and relationships.  Age has nothing to do with it really, that was simply where I started.

Edited by FairreLilette
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You really do need to stop it with the fantasy trips. Not a single thing you imagine is going on, is going on in regard to the responses given to Fairre.

Enough. Is. Enough.

You can post at the air from here on out - I am quite done feeding you.

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15 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Fairre has defended herself. I have tried to clarify. Why do you keep insisting that we vilify Fairre for something you're only imagining she did?

You need to back off when people tell you their truth.

Because, she explained perfectly clear which is why people got upset.  The backpedaling came afterwards.  She explained what she meant by children.

On 6/24/2021 at 3:33 PM, FairreLilette said:

 

I did not know Rowan was not sad.  I find it all bizarre that someone is laughing when posts are not funny and children can become neurotic or develop a neuroses because of parents with inappropriate reactions.  

 

 

On 6/24/2021 at 5:41 PM, Rowan Amore said:

There are no children here...age-wise.  

 

11 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

That's not the point at all and you know it.  I was thinking of autistic people that may come to the forums here as well and how that could be confusing.  And, as a matter of fact, one posted in this thread.

I've actually agreed with you on most things recently.  Shocking, I know!  On this, I'm going to have to disagree.  Her response to me was quite clear.

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9 hours ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

Please tell me you are not just sitting there staring at your avatar for hours at a time? Please, please tell me you do at least think about things while sitting there! And breathe! You gotta breathe! You avatar may not need to but you do! And, and, and...do you take a book with you when you go to the bathroom  like me? 🤭

Sometimes yes...all I do is stare at my avi and wonder why I all my relationships inworld fail and why I cut myself off from interactions.  Since the common denominator is me, I figure it is something I need to work on!

But I also have a split screen on my monitor, so I am often watching youtubes or movies, sorting my inventory, shopping, taking pictures or cruising these boards.  

Why yes I do take a book into the loo when I go!  I value "me" time!

And breathing is overrated!

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2 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

On this, I'm going to have to disagree.

Why not just ask her, now, if she thinks autistic people are exactly the same as children?

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Just now, Luna Bliss said:

Why not just ask her, now, if she thinks autistic people are exactly the same as children?

As I said, I was explaining to you why everyone was upset about what she said.  You were saying she never said it when in fact, she did.  Just clarifying.

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5 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

As I said, I was explaining to you why everyone was upset about what she said.  You were saying she never said it when in fact, she did.  Just clarifying.

I think some interpreted what she said as equating autistic people and children, but in fact she was simply speaking to several various types of vulnerable groups, some who come to the forum, especially as newbies, and stressing that certain emoticons could be offensive or confusing to them.

* words are always open to interpretation, and that's why I like to ask for clarification if speech seems unclear or vague.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

I think some interpreted what she said as equating autistic people and children, but in fact she was simply speaking to several various types of vulnerable groups that come to the forum, especially as newbies, and stressing that certain emoticons could be offensive or confusing to them.

Apparently, a lot of people.didn't interpret it the same as you did.  My point being, what was said WAS said.  Just as with reaction buttons, people will interpret things differently.  Certain words and wording could be offensive and confusing to some.people.

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14 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

As I said, I was explaining to you why everyone was upset about what she said.  You were saying she never said it when in fact, she did.  Just clarifying.

I never said any such thing.  I think I said something along the lines of children or age is not the point I was making.  I don't even remember now.

Edited by FairreLilette
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2 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

I never said any such thing.  I think I said something along the lines of children or age is not the point I was making.  I don't even remember now.

I quoted it above.

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2 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

I don't even remember now.

It all began on page 6 and 7, but maybe no need to go back. I know that you don't diminish autistic people in your mind.

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