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Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

Edited by Darklotch
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  • Darklotch changed the title to Looking for a girlfriend
2 hours ago, Darklotch said:

Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

You are 1 day old and nothing in your profile. What makes you special?

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Welcome to SL Darklotch.  Though lots of people date in sl, sl is not a dating service.  I would spend time exploring what sl has to offer other than that.  At least for now, while you're getting to know the world and how things work.  Most people who have been here aren't going to be interested in a relationship with someone who just made an account.  

Go find something that interests you, find some places to explore, make some friends, find a community.  Figure out what you want with someone in sl, and what you can offer in return.  

Give yourself time to find your place in the world and enjoy that.  

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14 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

You are 1 day old and nothing in your profile. What makes you special?

The fact that they are 1 day old with nothing in their profile hence the term new mate. lol😁

1 hour ago, Loelia Pancake said:

Welcome to SL Darklotch.  Though lots of people date in sl, sl is not a dating service.  I would spend time exploring what sl has to offer other than that.  At least for now, while you're getting to know the world and how things work.  Most people who have been here aren't going to be interested in a relationship with someone who just made an account.  

Go find something that interests you, find some places to explore, make some friends, find a community.  Figure out what you want with someone in sl, and what you can offer in return.  

Give yourself time to find your place in the world and enjoy that.  

This is good advice right here to follow OP. I wouldn't dive right in to the GF scene right off the bat. For all the reasons she said plus the fact of being new there are many aspects of SL you should learn first and foremost so your not so easily taken advantage of. True SL is not a dating service, but to me that term more so applies to RL. Sl dating is very much alive and has always been. I'd even go so far as to say probably about 80% of the people on here do the relationship thing to some extent. And the reality is in some ways it very much is a dating service because that is exactly what one of the purposes of this meet and greet forum is for. People tend to forget that. lol😁

Being new though I'll go on a head and warn you now SL isn't really noob friendly. There is an over emphasis on profiles as you can tell from your first response. Some people will even go to the level of being jerks about it in world. I say fill it out when your good and ready and not when people tell you to. If they don't want to talk to because your profile is blank then those are not the people you want around anyway. Bottom line.👍

Learn the game. Make friends by going out to places that interest you. Then as time goes on and you have some experiences under your belt take a few pictures here and there. Upload some and gradually grow your profile over a course of time. Your best chances of meeting a nice girl are in world. Not on these forums mate. lol🤣

Also when TPing out and about if you run in to places that zap you with a 3 month age time limit don't let that discourage you. That goes back to what I was saying about people can be jerks. Just have fun and a good time and do you my friend. Good luck out there mate.👍😎

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Velk Kerang said:

The fact that they are 1 day old with nothing in their profile hence the term new mate. lol😁

Being new though I'll go on a head and warn you now SL isn't really noob friendly. There is an over emphasis on profiles as you can tell from your first response. Some people will even go to the level of being jerks about it in world. I say fill it out when your good and ready and not when people tell you to. If they don't want to talk to because your profile is blank then those are not the people you want around anyway. Bottom line.👍

 

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you here. A profile is a reflection of who you are. I don't randomly go up to people in RL and ask them to be my boyfriend without knowing something about them and I don't do it in SL either. It has nothing to do with being new at all.  If the post was worded differently, such as below, then I can see that a profile might not be as important but you still have to know something about someone if they are posting on a forum specifically looking for a girlfriend.  

Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend friends so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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7 hours ago, Loelia Pancake said:

Welcome to SL Darklotch.  Though lots of people date in sl, sl is not a dating service.  I would spend time exploring what sl has to offer other than that.  At least for now, while you're getting to know the world and how things work.  Most people who have been here aren't going to be interested in a relationship with someone who just made an account.  

Go find something that interests you, find some places to explore, make some friends, find a community.  Figure out what you want with someone in sl, and what you can offer in return.  

Give yourself time to find your place in the world and enjoy that.  

Thank you very much for your wonderful advice.

6 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

The fact that they are 1 day old with nothing in their profile hence the term new mate. lol😁

This is good advice right here to follow OP. I wouldn't dive right in to the GF scene right off the bat. For all the reasons she said plus the fact of being new there are many aspects of SL you should learn first and foremost so your not so easily taken advantage of. True SL is not a dating service, but to me that term more so applies to RL. Sl dating is very much alive and has always been. I'd even go so far as to say probably about 80% of the people on here do the relationship thing to some extent. And the reality is in some ways it very much is a dating service because that is exactly what one of the purposes of this meet and greet forum is for. People tend to forget that. lol😁

Being new though I'll go on a head and warn you now SL isn't really noob friendly. There is an over emphasis on profiles as you can tell from your first response. Some people will even go to the level of being jerks about it in world. I say fill it out when your good and ready and not when people tell you to. If they don't want to talk to because your profile is blank then those are not the people you want around anyway. Bottom line.👍

Learn the game. Make friends by going out to places that interest you. Then as time goes on and you have some experiences under your belt take a few pictures here and there. Upload some and gradually grow your profile over a course of time. Your best chances of meeting a nice girl are in world. Not on these forums mate. lol🤣

Also when TPing out and about if you run in to places that zap you with a 3 month age time limit don't let that discourage you. That goes back to what I was saying about people can be jerks. Just have fun and a good time and do you my friend. Good luck out there mate.👍😎

Thanks mate for those very important advices, I take notes :D

People like you two give me hope about this amazing virtual world. Thanks.

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7 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you here. A profile is a reflection of who you are. I don't randomly go up to people in RL and ask them to be my boyfriend without knowing something about them and I don't do it in SL either. It has nothing to do with being new at all.  If the post was worded differently, such as below, then I can see that a profile might not be as important but you still have to know something about someone if they are posting on a forum specifically looking for a girlfriend.  

Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend friends so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

You weren't wrong, it was just a harsh way to talk to someone new.  1 day old avie...of course they're gonna have a blank profile.  Who sits in a new game and just fills out a profile?  Especially a game like sl people tend to want to find things to do and explore.

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8 hours ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you here. A profile is a reflection of who you are. I don't randomly go up to people in RL and ask them to be my boyfriend without knowing something about them and I don't do it in SL either. It has nothing to do with being new at all.  If the post was worded differently, such as below, then I can see that a profile might not be as important but you still have to know something about someone if they are posting on a forum specifically looking for a girlfriend.  

Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend friends so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

How long where you in SL before you even knew there was a profile page to fill out? I'm impressed that Darklotch already found the forums. That took me over two years.

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1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

How long where you in SL before you even knew there was a profile page to fill out? I'm impressed that Darklotch already found the forums. That took me over two years.

I would have been more impressed if had spent time learning SL and looking for a GF IN there rather than OUT here.

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12 hours ago, Loelia Pancake said:

You weren't wrong, it was just a harsh way to talk to someone new.  1 day old avie...of course they're gonna have a blank profile.  Who sits in a new game and just fills out a profile?  Especially a game like sl people tend to want to find things to do and explore.

Who finds a forum outside of a game as a 1 day old avatar, especially when there are things to do and explore to find a GF?  I find it creepy and predatory.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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@Darklotch Relax, explore and don't take anything too seriously.. just enjoy yourself for months. You will meet your "other half" in time.. probably while you're exploring. Here's some advice (just my opinion) .. nude beaches are cool but not for newbs..K? In the coming months you'll remember this advice. Cheers and have a lovely drama free time on SL 😊

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On 5/4/2021 at 6:57 PM, Darklotch said:

Thank you very much for your wonderful advice.

Thanks mate for those very important advices, I take notes :D

People like you two give me hope about this amazing virtual world. Thanks.

Your very welcome my friend. Hope you have an awesome time and run in to nice people on here mate.😎

On 5/4/2021 at 2:03 PM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you here. A profile is a reflection of who you are. I don't randomly go up to people in RL and ask them to be my boyfriend without knowing something about them and I don't do it in SL either. It has nothing to do with being new at all.  If the post was worded differently, such as below, then I can see that a profile might not be as important but you still have to know something about someone if they are posting on a forum specifically looking for a girlfriend.  

Hi, I'm new to SL and I'm looking for a nice girl to be my girlfriend friends so we can hang out together and enjoy our time. Thank you.

I would agree with you if dude was a bit older. I get it I do. I totally get the skepticism and guard up mentality. None of which is your fault or the fault of others who feel as you do. The mentality was hardwired in to the game from jump. While I have met people on here as old as me if not older who keep blank profiles because they don't want fall in to the let me do my profile up crowd, most of us do. If nothing else some put a photo of their avatars in their profile and that's it. Personally speaking for myself I do my profile up for me. Not anybody else. Mainly because I don't care if people know about me. I didn't start out that way though. Mine gradually grew over time. It's my little mini blog that says who I am and take it or leave it. It's mainly about what I want to see if I need to pull up my own profile for some reason.👍

Now to be clear I'm not trying to be disrespectful or give you a hard time. While I did think you were a bit harsh coming out swinging like that (lol) I was mainly trying to convey to the OP that he needs to expect to run in to that for at least the first 3 months. I know I did years ago when I first started and honestly it sucked. Nobody would hire me for anything and some people would turn their noses up at me. And to be entirely honest I was treated so poorly that if it had not been for a lady I became friends with on here who I am still friends with to this very day that took pitty on me and took me in and showed me the ropes I would have given SL my behind to kiss. It was just that bad mate. lol🤦‍♂️

Personally I don't look at profiles to often myself. It's probably from playing other old school mmos that don't have profiles in them, but I tend to learn about people based off my interactions with them. So for me it's never really been a requirement. That having been said and SL being what SL is we have a lot of those trouble maker types and their alts to largely thank for a lot of that mentality as well too. Just I would urge people to give new player accounts the benefit of the doubt and not necessarily slap them across the face fresh right out the starting gate. It makes it that so much harder for the new players. I feel like we should try and change that mentality if we want to encourage new players in to joining the community.👍

As for the forums I'll just add that for myself I can't recall if I seen them when I first joined, but I do know it was several years in to me playing before I even bothered looking at them. Probably even a few years after that before I ever even made my very first post. lol Mainly because a lot of the replies I'd see people get to me came across and very rude and toxic and I wanted no part of it. Especially when you compare them to the forums of any other mmo gaming communities out there. The SL forums used to be one of the worst and had a well deserved reputation for it. So it is what it is mates. lol It's not as bad now days. I won't say it's perfect, but no where near on the level of back in the day. Personally I just think it's something about SL forums that bring it out in some people. My first few post I got some grief. Occasionally it happens. It is what it is though.🤷‍♂️

Even on community forums that are not the official ones it used to be pretty bad. I joined an SL forum community that was popular back in the day and I forget what it was called, but those clowns were really off the chain. lol And what people don't realize is just like how you said you found the forums in 1 day. A lot of people out there will vet mmos communities by reading the forums and if all they see is toxic behavior well then we just lost on extra potential community member. SL does have it reputation and depending on who you talk to it can either be a really good one or a really bad one. I am some where in the middle. When people ask me they get more of a funny one because I laugh at half the stuff I come across on here. I'm that way with most mmos though. Maybe I'm just easily amused. lol😁

Anyway if you take anything away from my ramblings I would say take this. We were all new once. So please give people the benefit of the doubt because being new here sucks total dog behind mate. And that's all I'm really saying. lol😉😎

Edited by Velk Kerang
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On 5/4/2021 at 6:56 PM, Loelia Pancake said:

You weren't wrong, it was just a harsh way to talk to someone new.  1 day old avie...of course they're gonna have a blank profile.  Who sits in a new game and just fills out a profile?  Especially a game like sl people tend to want to find things to do and explore.

Me. I've been doing it for over 20 years. Why? Because people have always fussed about blank or almost blank profiles and/or forum avatars so why not just nip it in the bud and be done with it.

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8 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Me. I've been doing it for over 20 years. Why? Because people have always fussed about blank or almost blank profiles and/or forum avatars so why not just nip it in the bud and be done with it.

I meant on day one.  I've been here forever and am constantly tweaking my own profile.  I just added new stuff today.  But I certainly didn't care about it back in 2004.  We all have different priorities and when starting a new thing, some people are gonna wanna go out and explore before investing time in a profile.  

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37 minutes ago, Loelia Pancake said:

I meant on day one.  I've been here forever and am constantly tweaking my own profile.  I just added new stuff today.  But I certainly didn't care about it back in 2004.  We all have different priorities and when starting a new thing, some people are gonna wanna go out and explore before investing time in a profile.  

I meant on day one. I'm an AW "refugee". First time I ever logged in was 2003. I certainly did want to get out and explore but I also knew that there would be some people who would give me crap over not having anything in my profile from many years of past experiences online.

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I have no issues with blank profiles. The comment "what makes you special" was because he simply came on the forum and said I'm looking for a girlfriend to hang out with and my comment was meant to be funny, not harsh. If it came across that way then I apologize.   In those cases where someone is looking specifically for a Girlfriend either put something in your profile or something in your forum post about YOU. What your interests are, what you are looking for, etc. Otherwise what is the point of posting it?  At the very least put a profile picture before you start advertising on a forum. I don't think that is unreasonable at all. 

If someone is into BDSM or Fantasy roleplaying I am most likely not going to be "Girlfriend" material.  If I saw him out and about and he IM'd me I may engage in light chit chat but unless I saw something that we had in common it probably would end there.  Profiles are the starting point in meeting people you click with in SL, like it or not.     

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   You do not find partners through throwing something akin to a fast food joint order onto the forums. "Hi, I'd like a girlfriend. Thank you", just won't cut it. Telling someone that, and posing a critical question, isn't 'harsh'. Harsh would be to tell them that because of their blank profile and lacklustre post, they're unworthy of one, and that they're stupid to think anyone would want to be with such a sloth.

   Two days later and the profile remains blank. 

1 hour ago, Loelia Pancake said:

We all have different priorities and when starting a new thing, some people are gonna wanna go out and explore before investing time in a profile.  

   "Hello! I'm new to Second Life - I'm looking forward to learn, explore, and make friends. I'm a huge sports fan and I like Marvel movies. I haven't figured out where or how to meet people yet, so feel free to say hi if you want to chat or if you might have some pointers for me!"

   It took me less than a half minute to compose that. But sure, navigating one's way to the forums to start a whole new thread about wanting a girlfriend is more important than taking a few seconds to introduce yourself to the people around you. There is such a thing as having one's priorities wrong.

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I agree, girl friend shopping with an empty profile on day one is pretty cringe.  But we're veterans here and that feels cringe cause we know that's just not what you do.  I'm not defending that at all.  If someone wants to find a partner in sl, there needs to be way more effort than just coming to the forums.  And I advised going out and exploring the world first because you just simply don't know what's out there and what you can offer other people on day one.  

That all being said.... I'm only suggesting maybe some people would find it boring to fill out a profile on day one of starting a new game.  People like to get their feet wet a little first.  

I love profiles, I'm a profile junky, mine is super dense, and I read profiles when I go out in the world.  An empty profile is pretty disappointing.  I want that substance.  But I don't expect it on a day old player.  

I guess I'm just coming at it with some grace for a new player, wanting to be more gentle with them.  SL is pretty hard to learn as it is.... coming to the forums and being asked "what makes you so special" is likely to turn people off and I thought I could offer up more than that.  

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21 minutes ago, Loelia Pancake said:

I guess I'm just coming at it with some grace for a new player, wanting to be more gentle with them.

   This isn't a kindergarten. If you're old enough to be in SL, you're old enough that you can should be able to take constructive criticism and rhetorical questions without getting your knickers in a twist.

23 minutes ago, Loelia Pancake said:

coming to the forums and being asked "what makes you so special" is likely to turn people off and I thought I could offer up more than that.  

   Only if you project a negative tone to the question. You could just as well project a positive tone to it. Or you could skip the whole emotional lens entirely and just take the question at face value. It merely asks for some defining characteristics.

 

   .. Cringes. I think I found the root of the entitlement and inadequacy of kids these days. 

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52 minutes ago, Loelia Pancake said:

I guess I'm just coming at it with some grace for a new player, wanting to be more gentle with them.  SL is pretty hard to learn as it is.... coming to the forums and being asked "what makes you so special" is likely to turn people off and I thought I could offer up more than that.  

If answering a question like that will turn someone off they are not going to last 2 seconds in-world.  Perhaps I should have completed the sentence. I wonder if that would have made it less "harsh" to you.  What makes you special that I would want to be your Girlfriend? Valid question right?  Did the OP think that just posting that would bring flocks of girls to his feet more quickly than simply exploring SL and striking up real conversations in-world? I put as much effort into my response as he did posting his question.

BTW...the quote was "what makes you special" NOT "what makes you so special" different quote, different tone entirely. :) 

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