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Hi! I have been looking for a family for adoption but its honestly getting pretty discouraging. Most adoption groups focus more on the little kids than teens, just like RL and its pretty sad. We get tossed aside even on here...Either we aren't the right age, gender, species...or we "expect to much". How is wanting love and attention expecting to much? If you adopt someone, you should let them live with you just like a RL adoption, it helps with the bonding process and shouldn't expect them to be a certain age or species to make you happy. You should make an effort to come online and spend time with them, talking, going out and doing things, not barely talking and ignoring them or picking favorites, favoring the little siblings more. Its not right in the slightest and apparently those two simple things, a room to call our own and actual effort from the parent is "expecting to much". People say teens are to hard to handle yet I have met some pretty bratty little kids who just get a whole bunch of gifts then leave and block the parents. Most teens leave because they were ignored, yet we are the problematic ones? I just wish roleplay parents actually cared about and loved teens just as much, we deserve families too.

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32 minutes ago, LittleKittyCatBaby said:

Hi! I have been looking for a family for adoption but its honestly getting pretty discouraging. Most adoption groups focus more on the little kids than teens, just like RL and its pretty sad. We get tossed aside even on here...Either we aren't the right age, gender, species...or we "expect to much". How is wanting love and attention expecting to much? If you adopt someone, you should let them live with you just like a RL adoption, it helps with the bonding process and shouldn't expect them to be a certain age or species to make you happy. You should make an effort to come online and spend time with them, talking, going out and doing things, not barely talking and ignoring them or picking favorites, favoring the little siblings more. Its not right in the slightest and apparently those two simple things, a room to call our own and actual effort from the parent is "expecting to much". People say teens are to hard to handle yet I have met some pretty bratty little kids who just get a whole bunch of gifts then leave and block the parents. Most teens leave because they were ignored, yet we are the problematic ones? I just wish roleplay parents actually cared about and loved teens just as much, we deserve families too.

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you want to play a teen, but come here as crybaby blaming "parents".. RP is playing .. not all the things you project from RL on it. If parents want more babies, you'r not offering what they want.. so they wont ask you to play with them.
Same with species ..boy or girl... all reasons to look for somebody else to play with.

The line in your profile "Β I can be human but that doesn't mean I'll like it, I shouldn't have to change who I am..." limits you in available choices. Can't blame others for that i think. You'r also partnered and talk about domination.... that might also scare people off.

Edited by Alwin Alcott
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Β  Β Ah, the good old 'I'm perfect and won't change, so the world will have to change to accommodate me' perspective.

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No one owes you anything. Say it a few times until you understand.

This is SL people can play it the way they want. They want a baby or toddler? Then that is what they want and there is a great many kids that will be available for that.

You do expect too much, like a room. Are you gonna chip in with the rent? I mean you are an adult behind the screen with means to pay your own way yes? Or do you expect for them to pay? Are they supposed to be available when YOU have time? What about if they had other plans already, are you going to tailor your schedule around them too or is it a one sided thing? Cause your rant sounds pretty I want, I need, give me, I deserve.Β  You get the gist here it's me me me me me me. I had a kid like that once, wanted me to pay for everything from clothing to school and club memberships after already living with me for free. Sorry but no. (The only kid that can make those demands from me is the one I have in real life. And now at 19 she too has to chip in a little here and there.)

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Like someone else said your profile is a HUGE.. humongous red flag in the adoption community. I am sure I don't need to explain to you why. If you don't meet people in the middle then you are not exactly a fit for a family either. Family is a delicate balance of give and take not take take take. I suggest you figure out your priorities, and learn how to compromise.Β  That way you are likely going to have a whole lot more luck finding a family that is a good fit for you.

Β 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have a teen alt and met my parents through a game we all played. If they aren't online much, surely you'd see that before agreeing the adoption? Real life has to come first after all. I think it's understandable to want a particular age or gender; maybe they want children close in age, or to roleplay having a daughter for personal reasons. You don't need to change, just accept if you're not human, the market is gonna be smaller. Maybe do things you enjoy, make friends and go from there. As for a room in their house, I agree with the above poster who says you're an adult. My parents are together and I'm sure they appreciate couples time not just family time and I can't see it'd be great to never know when the kid could appear

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hate to poo poo on this too, but having experienced the "if you adopt me I expect you to be around for me" it's the effing worst! The idea of family RP here is about communication and respect of everyone's personal time. Adopting needy children who expect you to be on all the time for your entertainment and attention is just absurd. I love family RP especially for those of us who come from broken homes and love the idea of having friends who act like your parents in game. My SL mom is my bestfriend and the best mom ever... I never expect her to be around, or pay for our land on her own... none of my siblings do. The idea of family RP is about team work... as a team you talk things out, work out a system, and have and understanding the RL comes first. As for the teens not getting adopted... I can relate to that. I started as an adult looking to get adopted to no avail and then changed myself to a teen and BOOM. HOWEVER... my suggestion is to be picky AF when it comes to finding a family. When you find a good group of ppl you mesh with it can make this game so freakin amazing. Having such high expectations of your future family will be destructive in your search. I adopted a kid who needed my time constantly and I stopped playing this game because of them. I had no time with my partner or my other friends. It was always about them. It just sucked all the fun out of my escape...which SL is supposed to be for me. Sure you should be whatever you want to be, species and age... but getting mad that no one wants you is stupid. Be 100% yourself and accept you're RPing and looking for something specific so it's going to take time to find the perfect match. You want a family to accept you for who you are... well accept that others are also looking for what THEY want... and if it's not you. Who cares... find a family who does want you. I like Liaa's suggestions of going around and find things you enjoy to do... you never know who will come along and say "hey have you thought about family RP before" and bam... you might wind up in a great family situation. Good luck!

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To be fait to the OP I think you have been given a rough time, perhaps because you had a bit of a rant and did not articulate yourself inΒ the best way.Β 

Like any relationship there has to be give and take, not just take take take on the part of one of the parties involved. It's unreasonable for a SL child to expect their adopted parents to change their entire way of life and give them everything, but it's also unreasonable and perhaps a bit foolish for SL parents to adopt and then think they can get away with changing absolutely nothing. If you choose to adopt then there should be some changes involved. Likewise if you're a kid avi then you should expect to make some changes too. Unfortunately I see a lot of SL kids get adopted for the wrong reasons.Β 

Having said that, unlike real children, SL kids are adults behind the keyboard and you can't really apply the same standards. For example, in the past, I have frequently contributed to rent and tier or bought things when the family needed it. One SL mom who I was with for 3 years was actually broke in RL and I ended up paying for most things and she felt guilty about it and I had to keep reminding her that I'm an adult with a full time job in RL.Β 

As for being older and not getting adopted that is not necessarily true. My avi is a 9 year old Tweenster boy and I have never had any problems getting adopted. One of my best friends who I have known for years plays a 16 year old high school kid and he's just been adopted by a new family too. Two of my other friends are twin girls aged 10 and they got adopted by a pair of sim owners and have been part of the family for years.Β 

Like anything in life, if you're struggling to make friends, get a job or go on dates then maybe you need to look at yourself instead of blaming everyone else.Β 

Β 

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