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I’ll start this by saying that I am probably the opposite of a prude.

On any normal day I make sure my behavior conforms to “accepted” certain social norms because (a) I love someone I want to stay with and (b) people tend to get all stabby over relationships and I want to keep the murder-rate low.

Anyway, I DJ in Second Life and lately I noticed something interesting after I made a wardrobe-change while working (not WHILE working - before I went to work).

I’d reached a point where “dressing for club work” was hard to distinguish from another (older) profession; and the some of the COVID-influx of new Residents/guests were having a hard time discerning the difference.

I have a Partner in SL whom I want to keep, and the constant barrage of “how much sweetie?” From avatars under 30-days-old was starting to make me feel like *I* was doing something that might make my Partner (who also DJs) feel like I was running a side-business.....

So I changed how I dressed. Necklines went up, hemlines went down -  but I did bother to buy stuff that was good quality from good designers.

I was thinking that “Draw” and Tips were about to go down, but I was willing to pay the price. I have a wonderful Partner (who never said anything to me about how I dressed)

Oddly, the opposite happened.

What DID drop was the “Oh, I thought you were a hooker” messages, but tips + draw actually climbed over the past month.....

Now, it may be because I changed my format and really leaned into the “80’s” niche (Pop,Alt,Metal) and I suspect that market is bigger in SL than anyone will admit because we have “lots of people who remember the 80’s” (like me) who also LOOK 20-something here......  Anyway, I look more like what was considered Trendy for my genre now....

But I thought the change was interesting, so I’m babbling about it.

I’m not advocating for anything, I’m not evangelizing. *Wear what makes you feel good*

This was probably more about my own perceptions than SL at large, but it also drove home an important thing to me....

I DJ better when *I* feel good, so when I stopped trying to conform to a perception of “SL normal” I became a better Partner and maybe a slightly better DJ.

...also, I got to shop...........

 

image.gif

Edited by Amanda Crisp
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Showing less is almost always more.
Nothing is as quickly boring as only nudes around you. RL and SL.

The package is as important as the content.
Look at the trouble all perfume brands go through, to create their eye candy bottles to put their smells in.

 

Edited by Sid Nagy
Added some lines.
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I love finding really nice outfits or pieces.. I get so warn out on seeing so much skimpy things..

About all i wear anymore that is skimpy is a bikini at the beach pretty much..

I love overalls, turtle necks, Nice fitting jeans with nice jean textures, Summer dresses and things like that.. Nothing too fancy really..

One thing I hate is how bright some colors can be.. Reds, pinks, whites and other brights, just seem like they are hard to find ones that works.. I'm pretty dark myself so that may have something to do with it.. But I have found some whites and brighter colors that don't feel like they are glowing..

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42 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I love finding really nice outfits or pieces.. I get so warn out on seeing so much skimpy things..

About all i wear anymore that is skimpy is a bikini at the beach pretty much..

I love overalls, turtle necks, Nice fitting jeans with nice jean textures, Summer dresses and things like that.. Nothing too fancy really..

One thing I hate is how bright some colors can be.. Reds, pinks, whites and other brights, just seem like they are hard to find ones that works.. I'm pretty dark myself so that may have something to do with it.. But I have found some whites and brighter colors that don't feel like they are glowing..

I have this strange fascination with shades of Orange..........I need to really try to control it....

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3 hours ago, Amanda Crisp said:

I’ll start this by saying that I am probably the opposite of a prude.

On any normal day I make sure my behavior conforms to “accepted” certain social norms because (a) I love someone I want to stay with and (b) people tend to get all stabby over relationships and I want to keep the murder-rate low.

Anyway, I DJ in Second Life and lately I noticed something interesting after I made a wardrobe-change while working (not WHILE working - before I went to work).

I’d reached a point where “dressing for club work” was hard to distinguish from another (older) profession; and the some of the COVID-influx of new Residents/guests were having a hard time discerning the difference.

I have a Partner in SL whom I want to keep, and the constant barrage of “how much sweetie?” From avatars under 30-days-old was starting to make me feel like *I* was doing something that might make my Partner (who also DJs) feel like I was running a side-business.....

So I changed how I dressed. Necklines went up, hemlines went down -  but I did bother to buy stuff that was good quality from good designers.

I was thinking that “Draw” and Tips were about to go down, but I was willing to pay the price. I have a wonderful Partner (who never said anything to me about how I dressed)

Oddly, the opposite happened.

What DID drop was the “Oh, I thought you were a hooker” messages, but tips + draw actually climbed over the past month.....

Now, it may be because I changed my format and really leaned into the “80’s” niche (Pop,Alt,Metal) and I suspect that market is bigger in SL than anyone will admit because we have “lots of people who remember the 80’s” (like me) who also LOOK 20-something here......  Anyway, I look more like what was considered Trendy for my genre now....

But I thought the change was interesting, so I’m would babbling about it.

I’m not advocating for anything, I’m not evangelizing. *Wear what makes you feel good*

This was probably more about my own perceptions than SL at large, but it also drove home an important thing to me....

I DJ better when *I* feel good, so when I stopped trying to conform to a perception of “SL normal” I became a better Partner and maybe a slightly better DJ.

...also, I got to shop...........

 

image.gif

 

Mom always said it was better to leave some to the imagination. It can drive a man wild and, well, that's what we want in bed isn't it? 😊

 

psst... Mom was right... again.

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In a world where everyone dresses skimpily, the person who covers up a bit is rarer and actually stands out more...

Plus, I do hate to say it, because obviously people can and should dress however they like, but if you're covering a bit more skin, it may allow more energy to be focused on the music, and give the impression that that's what you want.

 

 

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4 hours ago, Amanda Crisp said:

What DID drop was the “Oh, I thought you were a hooker” messages

That's just wrong for anyone to say that.  You know I have never been asked that but then my first avatar was based around Stevie Nicks and I thought she dressed lovely, although Lindsey Buckingham, the controlling partner in the song "Gold Dust Woman" where Stevie quips "rulers make bad lovers...you better put your Kingdom up for sale" even wanted to dictate how Stevie should dress and told her to raise her necklines.  She ended the relationship.  Stevie and Lindsey began singing as a duo when Stevie was in high school.  Their break-up played out in one of the largest selling albums of all time - "Rumors".  Stevie and Lindsey have remained friends all these decades.  I've seen interviews with Stevie on Youtube and she tells the stories far better than I do.  

Anyhow, I dress all kinds of ways, even as a cat.  lol  I love dressing as a cat most of all actually though but my human avatars are usually rather non-sexy.  As a human I am barefoot a lot.  I just want to be free here, however, whatever....  

Edited by FairreLilette
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Posted (edited)

I heart Stevie Nicks 🙂

My Partner is amazing and never once suggested I should change. Unfortunately, SL has the rep of being Sin City so sex tourists are a thing.

SL has a definite learning curve...socially.

 

image.gif

Edited by Amanda Crisp
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I've never dressed for others.  Molly once said I'd nailed the "soccer mom" look.

Still, I was somewhat known for the skimpy outfits I wore to Skinny Dip Inn beach concerts, like bird's nests over my boobies and my pocket watch over my bits. I'd lament, in public chat, that nobody offered to incubate my eggs, or wind my watch. It is possible (and somehow easy for me) to bare a lot of skin without exuding sexual energy.

I did recently get comments about my appearance at The Mercury Room Jazz Club. You'd think the crowd had never seen anyone in scuba gear before.

You do you, Amanda.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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I am prudish for myself, but not for others.  The problem is finding tops that don't show the top of the nipples or look like your boobs are about to explode like an alien from the low neckline.  Where are the cute, stylish skirts that cover the butt cheeks?  It takes more effort to find clothes that I like and am comfortable in.  I'm not looking to cover up like a nun and I love stylish clothes, but it is a search each time to find the middle ground.  There does not seem to be the creativity that you use to find in SL clothing.  Most women look the same - booty shorts or micro-mini skirts, crop tops, and super high heels.  @Madelaine McMcMasters is an exception.  I've never seen her in booty shorts. 😉

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It's never as simple as less = more or more = less.  It's what you chose and how you put it together more than anything.  Find your individual style and love it, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

People anywhere will try to shame you regardless of your choices and what a surprise, people in SL feel that they can say whatever they like and frequently do.  The problem is them, they choose to show much more of themselves which turns out to be so much less in terms of quality.  My advice is shrug it off, do as you please and don't worry about those lesser people.

 

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11 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

I am prudish for myself, but not for others.  The problem is finding tops that don't show the top of the nipples or look like your boobs are about to explode like an alien from the low neckline.  Where are the cute, stylish skirts that cover the butt cheeks?  It takes more effort to find clothes that I like and am comfortable in.  I'm not looking to cover up like a nun and I love stylish clothes, but it is a search each time to find the middle ground.  There does not seem to be the creativity that you use to find in SL clothing.  Most women look the same - booty shorts or micro-mini skirts, crop tops, and super high heels.  @Madelaine McMcMasters is an exception.  I've never seen her in booty shorts. 😉

I agree, it doesn't bother me to see all that skin on other people.  For myself, I find that if I am away from SL for a while the skimpy SL standards bother me more and I want to cover up. The longer I'm back, the less it bothers me. And as for Maddie's attire,  I really liked her twirling pasties although they made me dizzy if I looked for too long.

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4 hours ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

I am prudish for myself, but not for others.  The problem is finding tops that don't show the top of the nipples or look like your boobs are about to explode like an alien from the low neckline.  Where are the cute, stylish skirts that cover the butt cheeks?  It takes more effort to find clothes that I like and am comfortable in.  I'm not looking to cover up like a nun and I love stylish clothes, but it is a search each time to find the middle ground.  There does not seem to be the creativity that you use to find in SL clothing.  Most women look the same - booty shorts or micro-mini skirts, crop tops, and super high heels.  @Madelaine McMcMasters is an exception.  I've never seen her in booty shorts. 😉

Neve by coldLogic has the clothes that is closest to RL style. You can dress up and meet your children's teacher in those clothes.

Another brand like Ison has modest tops too. The Cropped button up is very "casual dressy" and the Lace crop top is like "date with sweetheart", showing enough but not too much. When you want to show more skin, Ison has that "sexy but classy" styles.

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