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So I met a guy at a dating place and we started talking and right off the bat he was saying let’s be exclusive and just jump with both feet in...basically very pushy to have a relationship.  I told him I want to take things slow and date for awhile not rush anything.  He seemed disappointed or upset by that but whatever he agreed to it.  Then he was like let’s exchange pics so we did and his was from 2008 so I asked him for a more recent pic and he said I don’t have lindens.  So I asked him if he has another form of communication like discord etc and he said no.  Then things went downhill from there as my spidey sense started tingling and I didn’t really trust him at that point and told him so and he then said no wonder you are single.

was I right to be suspicious? 

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15 minutes ago, Annabella Atheria said:

was I right to be suspicious?

that's on you.. your type of relationship isn't mine or my neighbours.
But what i read is you give double signals... dont want to go fast, but then ask for discord or other external communication? .. if he is for SL only, that might have caused the outcome. You weren't looking for the same.

Edited by Alwin Alcott
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47 minutes ago, Annabella Atheria said:

I meant so he could send me a newer pic, as I was suspicious if he was hiding something or using a fake pic.

If anyone asked for a.pic on a first date, I'd walk away but I'm also not looking for any type of RL hook up in the future.  What you look like in RL is irrelevant to me.

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12 minutes ago, Annabella Atheria said:

he was the one who suggested exchanging pics but mine is in my profile anyway

Not sure then why he bothered to ask and shows he never bothered to even read your profile.  Aside from that, what's wrong with an old pic?  Unless you're dating with RL in mind down the road, at least you have a general idea what he looks like.

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ok I guess what I feel is strange is not coming across.  The pic was very old, and when asked for an updated one he had every excuse as to why he couldn't show a new one (maybe a stolen pic).  I also don't believe asking for pics is in the same category as moving fast when I do want a real but not with someone who comes on super strong like he did right out of the gate.   I want to see the real person im getting to know but if they have an old pic and can't provide one that is within the last 5 years it seems fishy.

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7 minutes ago, Annabella Atheria said:

ok I guess what I feel is strange is not coming across.  The pic was very old, and when asked for an updated one he had every excuse as to why he couldn't show a new one (maybe a stolen pic).  I also don't believe asking for pics is in the same category as moving fast when I do want a real but not with someone who comes on super strong like he did right out of the gate.   I want to see the real person im getting to know but if they have an old pic and can't provide one that is within the last 5 years it seems fishy.

Oh, I'm agreeing with you.  It's definitely fishy to some degree which is why I wondered why he bothered asking you for a pic in the first place.  Anytime anyone asks for RL personal info upon first meeting is questionable in my book.  

We teach internet safety to our children as to sharing personal info with anyone.  We, adults, should do the same.  

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7 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

So I met a guy at a dating place and we started talking and right off the bat he was saying let’s be exclusive and just jump with both feet in...basically very pushy to have a relationship.  I told him I want to take things slow and date for awhile not rush anything.  He seemed disappointed or upset by that but whatever he agreed to it.  Then he was like let’s exchange pics so we did and his was from 2008 so I asked him for a more recent pic and he said I don’t have lindens.  So I asked him if he has another form of communication like discord etc and he said no.  Then things went downhill from there as my spidey sense started tingling and I didn’t really trust him at that point and told him so and he then said no wonder you are single.

was I right to be suspicious? 

Yes, red flags galore on this one. Rushing and pushy, seeming disappointed when he can't get his own way. Trying to work out how much of a soft touch/empath that you might be. 

You're right not to trust him, he'll be doing the same thing with other people too. :/  

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7 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

So I met a guy at a dating place and we started talking and right off the bat he was saying let’s be exclusive and just jump with both feet in...basically very pushy to have a relationship.  I told him I want to take things slow and date for awhile not rush anything.  He seemed disappointed or upset by that but whatever he agreed to it.

Red flag #1: Nothing good ever comes from a pushy guy. Who knows if and when he'll start pushing for other things that you may not feel comfortable with.

7 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

Then he was like let’s exchange pics so we did and his was from 2008 so I asked him for a more recent pic and he said I don’t have lindens.  So I asked him if he has another form of communication like discord etc and he said no.

Red flag #2: Unless you two had agreed to take your relationship to RL, there is no reason for him to refuse to send a more recent pic, because how else would you be able to recognize him in meatspace? His hiding behind an outdated pic when he was in his prime is lame.

7 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

Then things went downhill from there as my spidey sense started tingling and I didn’t really trust him at that point and told him so and he then said no wonder you are single.

was I right to be suspicious? 

Short answer: Yes. If your gut tells you something's not right, you better well listen.

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17 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

So I met a guy at a dating place ....
...

was I right to be suspicious? 

when re reading this thread .. just another thought.
Isn't this blown up way to much?

You met a guy, got to talk and very fast you found out there's no match or connection. How many times don't we encounter such things in SL ?.. or RL?... nine out of ten people, by dating agencies, aren't a real good match at all.
There;s nothing to wonder about in your last question; you were no match for him, and he not for you. Both had total different expectations and perhaps even just a cultural difference. Often people thínk to talk about the same, but have slightly different meanings about their words.
 

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18 hours ago, Annabella Atheria said:

Then he was like let’s exchange pics so we did

You exchanged RL pics on the the first date?

Edit: Nevermind. I notice you answered the question already in another replay. :)

 

Edited by Doc Carling
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Him jumping so fast to be exclusive would have me leery as could be.. By the time he started asking for pictures, I'd already be deep in an exit plan..

Husbands home, I gotta log off now, Nice meeting you.  X

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On 4/16/2021 at 3:48 PM, Janet Voxel said:

It's strange, but not strange for SL.

Doctors here have various acronyms that they use to talk about patients in code. NFN = normal for Norfolk.

(I adapted it back in the day for that "notes" section you can make about other people that only you can see. NFG = normal for Gor.)

NFSL?

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Not sure if you should be suspicious, but he's certainly not worth the effort. 

I suspect he either wants to pump you for L$ or wants get in your virtual panties and take off.    I think the correct term is "sleazeball".

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