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I won't lie. I've had some really bad experiences that have caused me to be more and more closed off and kind of just recently left every SL server I was in in a fit of anxiety because well. I don't feel like I fit in? And every time I made a human avatar based on how I actually look, people would be really really gross about it and make all kinds of bad assumptions about me [which in turn with the avatar based on me, made me have worse self image issues...yikes] and I just gave up and decided to be anime. And on top of that, everyone had a specific look and I just didn't fit in that. I was too scared to post because I thought people would say those gross things again or make unwanted rude remarks about how my avi isnt their cup of tea, so i left. Sorry that was rambly, basically I guess what I'm asking is how does anyone like...find people on sl like them? How do I start feeling less insecure messing with my avatar in this? I've joined other anime groups but they're full of horny bigoted weirdos. Maybe it's my social anxiety that makes it hard even in online spaces but I can't help it. I"m terrified of getting those comments and assumptions again because they made me sick to my stomach. Sorry that was really upsetting it's just been weighing on me. It just breaks my heart because SL has become a huge interest for me and a great way to express myself creatively and I just don't want to have to drop it because of a few bad apples. I wanna have fun again. There's gotta be good people out there, right? right?

 

(Um I guess some major things to know about me, Hi, you can call me Jinx. I'm 23 [like actually but apparently secondlife ages are a thing??? idk im 23], agender [this is not respected sadly] and I like alternative fashion and cartoons a lot. I honestly havent seen a lot of anime lately but an anime avatar is the next best thing to being a cartoon and the heads are cute. I guess I'm just looking for someone nice to talk to? Maybe an accepting discord? I mostly get on sl to shop and hang out with my girlfriend.)

Edited by Jinx Lavarock
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Some people are inconsiderate to others no matter which life they're living. 9_9 Don't let them get you down.

Lots of people love anime and creativity, so keep looking for people into those things, maybe in like furry, gaming, rpg, and sandbox places. Do location, event, or group searches based on keywords like 'anime.' There's always the destination guide for more ideas on where to find people. 

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On 4/15/2021 at 4:30 AM, Chroma Starlight said:

Some people are inconsiderate to others no matter which life they're living. 9_9 Don't let them get you down.

Lots of people love anime and creativity, so keep looking for people into those things, maybe in like furry, gaming, rpg, and sandbox places. Do location, event, or group searches based on keywords like 'anime.' There's always the destination guide for more ideas on where to find people. 

Thanks I'll be sure to try that! And yeah it's so easy to forget sometimes people are just awful.

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Yes just be yourself and people who are intelligent will see the inner beauty in you. I've always been human in SL but I recently married in SL a wonderful woman who is a "kitty". Human body and shape, with kitty ears  and a tail. If you had told me that I would do this I would have called you a liar.  Best things I've ever done in SL was meeting her.

 

Some people are judgmental about EVERY damn thing. Why?  Because their life is so miserable that they can't help but try to make people around them as miserable as they are. Ignore them and be what you want to be.  Feel free to IM me in SL anytime

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  • 2 weeks later...

@Jinx Lavarock Don't let the bad experiences and creepos drive you away.  Chew 'em up, spit 'em out, and block them.  Or just block them, if you're uncomfortable with giving the jerks a piece of your mind.  Keep in mind that, regardless of what anyone says or does in your presence, this is still YOUR game.  Play it how YOU wanna play it.  And people who make assumptions about other SL players based solely on avi appearance are generally not people to engage with;  Treat this as more of a Jackass Detector & Filter than something to fret over.

As to cartoon avatars, have you looked into PaperFriends?  They're a lot of fun.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/207021

 

Edited by Rabid Cheetah
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1 hour ago, Rabid Cheetah said:

@Jinx Lavarock Don't let the bad experiences and creepos drive you away.  Chew 'em up, spit 'em out, and block them.  Or just block them, if you're uncomfortable with giving the jerks a piece of your mind.  Keep in mind that, regardless of what anyone says or does in your presence, this is still YOUR game.  Play it how YOU wanna play it.  And people who make assumptions about other SL players based solely on avi appearance are generally not people to engage with;  Treat this as more of a Jackass Detector & Filter than something to fret over.

As to cartoon avatars, have you looked into PaperFriends?  They're a lot of fun.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/207021

 

Thank you, this means a lot. I was really torn up about this when I first posted but all of the support and thinking things over has really helped me feel better. A

This is actually my first time seeing these avatars! I think they look really cute and though I'm learning how to make my own mesh avatar [I'm also an artist and i guess I just prefer an avatar closer to my art style/habits?], I might try these out too.

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From my experience, the anime community in second life is pretty *****ty but it has been a few years since I was in it, now I don't know how other communities are in comparison, but it sounds like you have been surrounded by awful people regardless, I know this is a typical response, but you should ignore what other people think about your avatar, it is your way of expressing yourself and nobody should get in your way of that. Besides, we are a ton of people with different opinions and preferences, so it is impossible to please everyone's eyes, as long as your happy with how you look, that is everything that matters, if someone got anything to say, simply just block them and move on, they are not worth your time at all. 😄

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Avatar looks are transient, the person behind them are longer lasting People who judge on the appearance of a particular avatar on a particular day won't last very long in SL. SL is ALL about change and experimenting. So my advice is to ignore the haters and be your best unique you. Feel free to IM me in-world I love to "just hang."

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I see that you have been in SL over 11 years. I'm wondering if you have always felt this way or if this has been your experience the whole time you've been here. People come and go and demographics change so just do you and do what you enjoy and you will naturally gravitate towards people that you connect with.

If you truly are 23 that means you've been in SL since you were 11 years old?  That is also difficult as SL tends to be more adult oriented and you have a smaller pool of people your age to hang out with. 

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