Jump to content

What advice would you give?


Recommended Posts

Get out in world. Find things you like to do. Go to.places people do those things, and you will meet othets with the same interests. 

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Know your interests, and join groups that reflect them. Don't wait for people to engage you. It might feel uncomfortable at first especially in settings where there are preexisting communities, but the longer you are around and the more visible you are the better chance you have at integrating.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

First I would make sure what is it that you are looking for, are you interested in roleplay friends or friends that would become RL? I have noticed that people IM less (maybe they are just waiting for others to IM them) and it is a good idea to be proactive. I have seen some boards (in dating agencies/adoption places) that have "looking for friends" boards...maybe that could be a good start. good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I usually point people at big events. Join the group for the event. Explore, shop, do all the stuff. Turn up to some of the smaller events run by event. This has the advantage of giving you some conversation topics (the things happening at the event) and not putting too much pressure on you being the life of the party. You only have to speak when you want to say something.

Another advantage of big events is it's an easy way to discover lots of communities all at once, which you can follow up on afterwards. You'll also find that people will talk about other events coming up after that one.

None of this guarantees that you'll make friends, but often people struggle at the earlier point of finding places with people in them.

In less abstract advice for 2021...

Fantasy Faire starts on 22 April. This is a big event with a lot going on. The public group is * * Fantasy Faire Fans * * (founded by fantasyfaire). Website: https://fantasyfairesl.wordpress.com/

SciFi Convention starts on 13 May. A lot of scifi roleplay groups set up exhibits at this one. The public group is SL Sci-Fi Con (founded by Kirk Wingtips). Website: https://scificonventionsl.wordpress.com/

Second Life Birthday (SL18B) opens on 17 June. Communities from all over SL will have exhibits at this one. No dedicated website for that as it's a Linden thing, but they post updates to the official blog. The public group is Second Life Birthday (founded by Squeaky Mole). Chat is turned off right now, though I expect it'll be back nearer the time. Blog: https://community.secondlife.com/blogs/blog/4-featured-news/

There's a lot more going on, but that's one big event a month for the next few months. Websites usually get more information nearer to the start dates, but you can join the groups at any point.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Same advice as I would give in RL, hangout with a group of people for a while and friendships will happen if they/when happen.  Just be yourself and show interest in what other people have to say as well as sharing your own thoughts and opinions.  Above all don't be an asshat.

SL specific part: Whatever you do, do not send unsolicited friend requests after meeting people for a short period of time.

Edited by Gabriele Graves
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Message people with something that they can talk about. It's much easier for people to talk to a stranger about something they know, like their clothes, avatar, attachments, or especially what they have put in their profile. A very good opening message is ,"Hello, I hope you don't mind but I really like your outfit." If they want to talk they will usually talk about it. If they say thank you, you can say, " Your welcome!" Now you have had a friendly and complimentary conversation. 

 

Protip- SL regulars usually go to great pains to make their avatar look special and unique. Goddess knows I do!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/28/2021 at 9:06 PM, Mortified Wanderer said:

What advice would you give to someone who is looking to make friends?

I'm not looking for any advice personally, I just want to know what kind of advice you'd give someone who wanted to make new friends in the world of second life!

Lots of really interested people out there for you to reach out and talk to, but as the others have said just getting around and talking to people, being personable and finding your group so to speak. There's a lot that this massive community has to offer, and the best way to experience that is to do what others here have said, attend events, go to clubs, just hang out with folks and you'll meet some new faces and hopefully find some good long-term friends. There's nothing like an internet friend, but more than that there's nothing like a Second Life long term friend. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember the French saying, “vive la différence”. Look for variety, don’t limit yourself to those who seem a perfect match based on trite ‘likes & dislikes’ lists or banal similitudes of age, gender, race, etc. Sure, it’s good to have some common interests and views to share; but if you take that too far, only seeking amongst those who most reflect you, you’re not looking for friends, you’re looking for mirrors.

If you think you don’t do the above, ask yourself if you let time pass and don’t tend to quickly discard those who seem reserved, taking their time to open up and accept friendship. Because if you do that, you’re still in a way looking for “yes” people—those who’ll immediately want what you want, the moment you want it, and they better not dare hesitate! Reserved doesn’t mean unfriendly or with no potential to eventually become an excellent friend; also, if you want it fast, are you concerned with making actual friends, or just with breaking some sort of record?

In fact, don’t even offer friendship verbally, let alone the actual SL request, at first. Real friendship is something that happens on its own, organically. The list is to easily find those you’d like to contact again—and those who would like you to contact them again, which isn’t everyone, any time. Some people are only up to chat & socializing when at the typical hangouts you may have found them at; but they may need their ‘me’ times, just like you do. And in another way, adding to the list is like putting a ‘badge’ to it… if you fret too much about when can you send it, or when will the other accept it, you’re more concerned about the ‘badge’ than the actual friendship; and so you’re still doing it wrong.

There’s even some (usually new players) that, perhaps unconsciously, send it up & front so that they can say, “now that we’re friends, we must talk, we must do things together, we must…” Well, if you have to push it with ‘musts’, you’re still doing it wrong: if it doesn’t work on its own, it doesn’t work. Don’t deceive yourself that it does. Foster actual friendship, let the ‘badge’ be the last step, when everything that matters is already accomplished.

Edited by Ren Toxx
  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

best advice i would give to people who want to make friends in secondlife. I would recommend that people join groups like club groups, fishing groups and linden money making game groups too. When I joined sl again I put myself out there and joined lots of groups and went to a lot of clubs to dance and have fun. There is also a lot of people out there who want to earn lindens and so they join these groups to earn lindens but then end up making good friends along the way too. Best thing to do is join as many groups as you can and get out there and just have fun exploring random places. You'll meet plenty of people simply by going to events/clubs and random places through joining groups. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think @Maddness Axon made a good point. You need to initiate the conversation. Being yourself may not be good advice if you’re an introvert. I actually tried to be the most talkative person with an alt of mine a few years back. I shouted in general chat when I arrived and said hello to everyone. Then I replied to every person who started chatting. I also walked up to every person and tried to IM them. It was tough because I am also introverted. But, that alt did make the most friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/29/2021 at 4:18 AM, Orwar said:

   Be worthwhile to befriend.

Excellent.

Lots of good advice in this thread.

What is missing so far is a warning people need to be aware that making friends in SL has many of the same dangers as making friends in RL. Never take friends in SL too seriously. Many people are here to experiment and play make believe. Take your time getting to know people.

Our usual eye contact and body language signals are missing. It can be more challenging to make decisions on personality.

The Destination Guide's What's Hot provides locations and places. Use it to know where to go to meet people.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Just my opinion...don't put lots of pressure on yourself to make friends, let it happen naturally. Find things you enjoy and chat to the other people who enjoy them, and something will probably fall into place :)


Even if you have loads of people on your friends list, you'll probably spend some time on SL alone...friends log off, or take a break, or get partners, or get new interests, or don't want to go to the 'Girls In The Garage' club night with you xD. Some friends would talk to me every day for a few months, then disappear...others I'd meet maybe once a month, and are still there. It varies! 


I agree with Nalates, be careful about falling head over heels with people you've just met, or assuming you'll be friends for life...you never really know who some people are. But also, don't be paranoid and guess that someone's an alt or out to get you...most people on SL are good and just doing their own thing. 

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/31/2021 at 11:34 PM, Zzevir said:

How should I know? 

I think the point is you can't. Therefore, proceed with caution. Take your time getting to know anyone you meet, especially in SL.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...