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Be who you want to be?


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20 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

So you have to put it in your profile for everyone to see

ย  ย No.

20 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

However if one enters into a relationship that is not romantic, and the other party then starts to have romantic feelings, this does not obligate a person to disclose anything.

ย  ย If you turn down their advance, you are not obliged to disclose anything.

ย  ย If you reciprocate their advance, however, and, assuming you possess a sliver of decency as a person, or an ounce of respect for your friend, you are.ย 

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35 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

So you have to put it in your profile for everyone to see ,even though for most people it doesn't matter.In the case of casual interaction with others, it is no ones business.ย 

Granted if one is going to pursue a romantic relationship, RL gender needs to be disclosed. However if one enters into a relationship that is not romantic, and the other party then starts to have romantic feelings, this does not obligate a person to disclose anything. The party trying to take the relationship to the next level needs to be told that they cannot, and it may be appropriate to end the relationship altogether. But you do not have to explain why. Only the individual who wants to take the relationship to another level is obligated to disclose personal information.

I think you are assuming that if someone isn't in a romantic relationship with someone that it doesn't matter whether you tell the truth or lie about who you are. Time and time again I hear that this is "not a game" it's a social platform. I've never heard SL being solely presented as only a RPing platform.ย  If you are RPing within this platform then I think that you need (could/should ) to state that in your profile like Nick does.ย  I also think that to most people it does matter, casual interaction or not. Why do you want to spend your time around people wondering whether or not what they say is a lie or the truth. I know I don't. Unless we both are of the understanding that it's simply just RP I expect that people I meet tell the truth. Maybe I'm crazy like that.ย 

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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9 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

So unless you state in your profile that everything you do and who you are IS roleplay, you are intentionally deceiving people.ย 

I didn't say it was required to state your RL gender in your profile only that you are playing SL as.RP only.ย  Just to clarify.

ย 

ย 

ย 

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5 minutes ago, Atosuria Daviau said:

this makes me think if it is necessary to put in my profile that I am not actually a Skeleton.

I think you are missing the point. Are ALL your interactions based on you pretending to be a Skelton or is that just the look you chose? If you are RPing a Skelton they technically you are dead and shouldn't be interacting at all with anyone. Now that sounds silly doesn't it? But if we are talking to me in a conversation I would expect that what you say to me is the truth.ย 

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54 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

If you are RPing within this platform then I think that you need (could/should ) to state that in your profile like Nick does.ย 

Well don't expect that to happen... anyway this is the internet and anyone can be anything and we will never know.

(and i do mean anything, even random crazy people under treatment .. or not.)

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So many people have unreal expectations from SL, they're emotionally attaching themselves to strangers, diving headlong into relationships and crashing hard. Repeatedly.

For an unsuspecting bystander whose been swept up in one of these storms where everything escalates beyond their control, are they obliged to compromise their identity for this temporary union?

The passive partner in these relationships has invested $100+ and months/years becoming comfortable with their SL identity. Then along comes another aggressively pursuing a relationship with them. At this stage the passive partner can reveal their RL identity and lose their avatar, or ride out the storm until the aggressor moves on.

And I'm not exaggerating how aggressively people pursue relationships in SL. For anyone caught up in this situation, I'd say ride it out and keep your SL secrets, unless the partner is willing to refund your $$ and time invested into that avatar.

ย 

In the reverse situation where the partner with the 'secret' is pursuing a relationship, then it's sleazy and nothing can be done about it. Except chastising yourself for not having your creep-detector trigger in time.

Edited by Mr Amore
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13 hours ago, Orwar said:

ย  ย If you turn down their advance, you are not obliged to disclose anything.

ย  ย If you reciprocate their advance, however, and, assuming you possess a sliver of decency as a person, or an ounce of respect for your friend, you are.ย 

It is often not an easy choice however, to end something your friend obviously enjoys, or disclose something you would rather keep private, especially when the situation develops over time. As you try to decide what to do it just gets worse and worse.

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1 minute ago, Ayeleeon said:

It is often not an easy choice however

ย  ย So, you can be a decent and upstanding ..

ย  ย .. Or you can be a cruel, selfish, cowardly, and deceptive.ย 

ย  ย Such a hard choice!ย 

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1 hour ago, Mr Amore said:

Then along comes another aggressively pursuing a relationship with them. At this stage the passive partner can reveal their RL identity and lose their avatar, or ride out the storm until the aggressor moves on.

Red flags to not even get involved with that person.

Or...ride it out, keep your secret, get as much as you can out of the other person in Ls and stuff then 'take a break and leave SL' only to reappear on a new avatar.

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49 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Or...ride it out, keep your secret, get as much as you can out of the other person in Ls and stuff then 'take a break and leave SL' only to reappear on a new avatar.

In this you're assuming the passive party is self-serving and malicious, is it difficult to accept they may be genuine people too who're just trying to make sense of it all.ย SL relationships are complex beasts, those fresh to it can be taken by surprise at how quickly it escalates.

Being on a forum and saying this is wrong, and that's wrong, and that's wrong, isn't even close to being caught up in a live situation and trying to process the rapidly evolving dynamics. The active party is often a friend, which raises the difficulty for the passive participant to navigate through the mess.

I've communicated with many in SL over the years and these situations are not uncommon, something which may take weeks in RL, happens in SL in mere hours. So far as I'm concerned, the active participants are not 'victims', they should have more respect for others than deciding this new person on the sim will be their latest love interest. And also expecting their target will divulge all of their RL/SL secrets?

Any relationship should be built upon respecting your potential partner, their privacy and getting to know them before rocketing through some fly-by-night frolic which so many SL relationships are.

Edited by Mr Amore
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19 hours ago, Mr Amore said:

SL relationships are complex beasts

ย 
I believe that SL relationships, especially the romantic ones are only as complex as the people who are part of them and nothing more nothing less, especially since there will never be any serious real life stuff involved such as having a child together.

To me it looks like Second Life is more like a movie where people play their roles, some of them like drama movies and act accordingly, others like comedies, others like adventures, others simply like porn and the list goes on.

So based on that my #1 rule when it comes to interacting with people here is that "We are all strangers to each other and nobody is obligated or owes anything to anyone."

Edited by Nick0678
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7 minutes ago, Mr Amore said:

In this you're assuming the passive party is self-serving and malicious, is it difficult to accept they may be genuine people too who're just trying to make sense of it all.ย 

In most cases I'd agree with you.ย  Especially if the person is somewhat new to SL relationships.ย  It often is a minefield.ย  However, sometimes it's quite obvious by the so called passive person's actions that they are doing exactly as I mentioned.ย  Continuing a relationship knowing full well the other party is more deeply involved and getting everything you can from them.ย  It's manipulative and deceitful.ย  It's wrong whether in RL or SL.ย ย 

The moment one person begins to feel emotionally invested in a relationship, it's no longer 'just RP' to that person.ย ย 

@Orwarsaid it more succinctly...

1 hour ago, Orwar said:

ย  ย So, you can be a decent and upstanding ..

ย  ย .. Or you can be a cruel, selfish, cowardly, and deceptive.ย 

ย  ย Such a hard choice!ย 

ย 

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It is an interesting topic, with a lot of different points of view to examine.ย  I don't think people should be expected to divulge all of their information in SL or any platform for that matter - people should be able to enjoy their privacy without others insisting they bring their real life into any conversation.

I don't typically believe most people online, when it comes to real life.ย  I imagine most people present only what they want others to know, while neglecting aspects of their life that they would rather they did not.ย  Just like social media, people tend to embellish the good, and perhaps add a few "not so bad" aspects that will make them appear more relatable to others - often in a manner that is relatable.

I think most people at this point have built a similar outlook, if they haven't they are pretty gullible.ย  With that said, I am opposed to taking advantage of gullible people.ย  It is like taking candy from a baby, it is lowly and shows poor character on the part of people doing it.ย  Just because someone lacks wisdom does not mean they should be strung along for someone's gain.ย ย 

But then, it all comes down to our own set of ethics..ย  which inevitably just leads to a never ending argument of who has the best ethics, based upon some intangible thing that can never be proven.ย  My own feeling is, if it is going to hurt someone else, then don't do it.

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If your worried about the RL ID's of people just don't get into relationships in SL. Because the only true way to ever know who a person is is to meet them in person. A fundamental fact of human nature is that everybody lies at some point. We can pretend were honest but we all do it. and

I do have to laugh at people who want "Voice or cam verification" because apparently they haven't been attention to what has been happening in AI and Neural network technology over the past two years. there are now voice changers available that allow you to sound like almost anyone else as well real time image processing that can make you look like anyone else here is a fastย  example i found on YouTube.ย 

ย and the scary part is this technology is not that had to get ahold of or that expensive. and it is only going to get better.

It is more prudent just to have close friends in SL than "lovers"ย 

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2 hours ago, Atosuria Daviau said:

It is more prudent just to have close friends in SL than "lovers"ย 

Ahhh, yes. Well the good thing with cameras is that no AI can "morph" genital parts to be anything other than what they are in RL while having Skype sex (or other video chat applications.) with your lover. What you see is what you get.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/27/2021 at 8:54 PM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

This came up in another thread and instead of piggybacking off it I thought I'd start a new thread.ย ย 

SL is a place where you can be who you want to be right?ย  You can be a female and have a male avatar and vice versa or a dog or furry or a robot.ย  A couple people mentioned that as long as you don't get into a relationship with someone or lie to them about who you are in RL it's fine to play whomever you like.ย  My question is:

If you subscribe to the SL is SL and RL is RL and you don't voice, cam or send pics of yourself in RL or reveal anything about your RLย then what does it matter what your online persona is?ย  Would it be morally wrong to make up a career, an age and description of who you are?ย  At what point does it become lying and not just "being someone else" Is there a disclaimer that you should be putting out or not?ย 

ย 

ย 

ย 

I just need 3 days here to find out that evrything in SL probably fake ๐Ÿคฃ

IMHO peopke Lie / diguise
because they are, probably..
1.
he/she have kinky desire,ย  something that they cant achieve in real life.
(BDSM, sex maniac, bisexual, beastsexual,ย  whatevwr you named it.) but fear of being watched and judged by others.

2. Have more than one bussines or job ( escort, dj, host ,shop owner) in SL
they need to hide their primary SL identiy, have many alTernate so can manipulate people, like in real life, you meet
ratface, fake smile, .
( https://youtu.be/7vdOgObQvz8 )

3. criminal in RL (mafia, triad, drug delaer)

4. Important people in RL, (president, billionare, sultan ) .
5. furry in real but human avi in SL

ps : IMO be yourself unless you are enjoying dramatic roleplay .

ย 

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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19 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

3. criminal in RL (mafia, triad, drug delaer)

Now you got me wondering if there was ever a situation where two people in a SL relationship turned out to be a RL detective and mafia boss... now that would make an interesting romance series.

Edited by LilNosferatu
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6 hours ago, LilNosferatu said:

Now you got me wondering if there was ever a situation where two people in a SL relationship turned out to be a RL detective and mafia boss... now that would make an interesting romance series.

imagine, there are two men, both using the Hot female avatar,
both aim to trick women into forming close relationships.
they then met in SL
having a relationship, do kinky things together, fall in love ๐Ÿคฃ

promise 6 months later to reveal real identity

ย 

then

ย 

SURPRISE ..

ย 

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14 minutes ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

imagine, there are two men, both using the Hot female avatar,
both aim to trick women into forming close relationships.
they then met in SL
having a relationship, do kinky things together, fall in love ๐Ÿคฃ

promise 6 months later to reveal real identity

ย 

then

ย 

SURPRISE ..

Now THAT is a romance movie I'd love to watch.ย ๐Ÿคฃ

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13 minutes ago, LilNosferatu said:

Now THAT is a romance movie I'd love to watch.ย ๐Ÿคฃ

ย  ย Read the book, don't think I'd waste my time watching it on film.

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1 hour ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

imagine, there are two men, both using the Hot female avatar,
both aim to trick women into forming close relationships.
they then met in SL
having a relationship, do kinky things together, fall in love ๐Ÿคฃ

promise 6 months later to reveal real identity

ย 

then

ย 

SURPRISE ..

ย 

Typical day in SL.

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