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Faking your death

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On 5/11/2021 at 5:25 AM, Nova Convair said:

Someone starts SL and lies and builds some fictional person they want to be. Then add RL into it more and more. (their way of roleplay)
One day they decide to bailout of this - too much self made stress. ūüėĀ

Hmmm, re: my post above. You may have something, Nova.

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3 hours ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

I just found out that one girl I know vanished off all our mutual friends lists and has gone silent, no messages, can not even be found on search anymore. She deleted her furnishings and returned the skybox I loaned her as well.


So she has maybe left SL without any word to anyone which is perhaps rude (a simple Bye! would have sufficed), but at least she didn't pull the "I have cancer and am dying" BS.

So if anyone knows/sees Bastet, or is in touch, let her know me/my male alt, and the others in our small friends group say a friendly "Bye".

As much as people see this a social platform, in reality it's a piece of software on someone's computer.  If you just found out they left and returned everything without saying goodbye maybe you weren't as good a friend to them as you thought you were.  People in SL act a lot closer than they really are. 

The "I have cancer and am dying" many times isn't BS. If I were to have cancer though I wouldn't go around telling everyone I know or who is on my friends list and simply just leave, as perhaps this person did. I would tell my very closest friends only.  Those that run around shouting it I tend to disbelieve unless they have exhibited that type of personality all the time.

It's not rude to leave and not tell anyone. Maybe a loved one died of COVID and they just decided to pack it up out of grief. Maybe...so many other reasons to big to list. Sometimes people just disappear because they don't want to tell the real reason and don't want to lie about it or they don't want the attention.  


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Posted (edited)

I have lost some close people over the years in here (RL checked !).

Mostly people I was very close with, for a decade or more.

I won¬īt believe, that real friends who are really caring for you, even think for one second of doing this.

The grief and the pain are real when you loose a close friend. Every normal human will know this.


People who are doing this are empathy-less, selfish, unscrupulous and over the top cruel to other humans feelings ! But they are also another thing ... they were never your friends !

So I¬īm not worried at all, that the persons who are close to my heart, will fake this anytime. Because they have this place for a reason.

The others are simply cheaters for their own benefit or they like to torture people for their weird kind of "fun". And yes ... it may also be some who have a mental illness as a reason for doing this. But I¬īm sure, that¬īs the minority.

So don¬īt fall for every heartbreaking story from a two months "friend" ... think self ... proof the probability ... check the facts you know ... look at the details ... are they plausibility ... and be suspicious.

Scammers often are entangled in their own storie. Making a good lie is hard, constant, detailed work. And the very most won¬īt do this effort.

It is always a good idea, to arrange something with close friends, that someone from their RL environment will send you a note (maby via email ?) that something serious happened with your beloved person, in the case that it¬īs needed. Vanishing without a trace cause terrible pain !

Your close friends will also feel this way.

Protect your feelings ... and not at least ... your wallet.

Edited by Sandrine Vanbeeck
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/23/2021 at 10:44 AM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I'm curious as this discussion came up recently and it got me to thinking.  Do you know of anyone that has actually faked their avatar's RL death for whatever reason instead of just creating an alt and having the main avatar just disappear and not log in?  Maybe it was because they got way too involved with someone in RL and needed to make sure they didn't come looking for them or for some other reason.  I supposed if they really wanted people to think they were actually dead then they would cut ties with everyone but well...some people aren't good at keeping secrets. LOL

A long time ago in another game I knew of a girl who said she had cancer and somehow got people to send her money. This was before paypal and venmo and all the cash apps so I think they actually sent her money in the mail.  She then had someone come online and tell everyone she died.  She then created a new persona and tried to get back with the group but she was soon caught.  Turns out she didn't have cancer and she was very much alive.  Interestingly enough people forgave her and let her back in the group.

Indeed I do! I still have the wedding invitation of a tenant who disappeared on the eve of the wedding and then later another avatar claimed that this person, who was supposedly pregnant in real life, was killed by a hit and run accident. I did a lot of Google searching and I also as a journalist had access to Nexis/Lexis and could not find a single news report about such an event, which would definitely merit at least a police blotter line if not a news story. The whole thing was extremely suspicious. Everyone thought I was terribly mean for questioning this story but lots of people questioned it, it seemed like someone wanting to back out of a commitment they ultimately didn't want to make, but didn't know how to end.

I remember in The Sims Online in a Yahoo group, there was a woman who constantly claimed she was abused by her husband and needed to move out, and this kept repeating and repeating, and people had trouble believing her story. There is a condition even called "Internet Histrionics Syndrome" where people devise a sad story, or even have a real sad story, and keep drama about it constantly rolling online where no one can check.

Another time an infamous griefer who had harassed me and my tenants for years, who used to shower sims with those anti-gay and antisemitic AIDS and Wailing Wall particles, was claimed to have died in real life of AIDS. It seemed really strange at many levels, one of which is that young people don't tend to die quickly of AIDS in the US because there are lots of medications for this to put it in remission. There are other strange twists and turns to this story but long story short, a blogger had already once claimed this person had died, but in fact he had not died. Again, as a journalist I looked for the obituary and found one, but it was one that anyone could have easily put on one of those online memorial pages, they are not proof. So I called the funeral home and determined that yes indeed, the person had really died and provided a place to send flowers. Again, people thought this was incredibly rude but it's actually normal journalistic work of the sort that everyone relies on daily when they read a news site -- it's called "checking facts," a skill not always employed by reporters who use Twitter as an assignment desk, but still one valued even in our time.

Yet another long-time from from TSO and SL was reported to have died in RL just when his long-time SL partner went to a city and was supposed to meet him in RL.  He didn't show up to meet her and didn't answer emails. Again, it seemed like someone backing out of a commitment they ultimately didn't know how to undo. But then sadly, it turned out to be true, and was confirmed by relatives and a RL obituary. Such things do happen. 

There is nothing wrong or indecent about seeking confirmation about such alleged deaths. I have all too often have had tenants tell me the craziest stories about why they can't pay their rent, citing terrible grief, sisters dying of cancer, children killed in car accidents, then I see them dancing in a club later that night, how sad can they be? Yet it does happen. I had a tenant tell me she had terminal cancer -- and then disappear forever, and likely she did die. I have had tenants for years who suddenly disappeared in this last year and likely died of COVID. One came back and said she'd been very ill with long COVID for months.

I remember years ago, I was going around answering tenants' tickets when my aunt in RL called me to tell me that my mother had been discovered dead of a heart attack just as she was packing her suitcase for a flight home. I was in such shock that I kept flying around and when some customer angrily asked me why I was taking so long, I said I just got the news that my mother died, and she naturally said, "Then why are you still logged on?" Indeed, except, in our time, this is what happens. You get a phone call about someone dying hundreds of miles away, you can't do anything instantly and you might just keep flying around SL. I could add that Anshe, who also happened to IM me at this time,  took great pity on me in my hour of grief and agreed to sell me telehub land for $7/m. Of course, she knew and I didn't that the Lindens would soon be pulling the telehubs. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts.

You can never really know everything about someone in SL until you meet them in RL -- and not even then, always.

I can only say, live your Second Life, such that when your time comes, your friends and customers know you have really died because there is some kind of real person connected to your life who can reliably confirm it. Mr. rm Sirbu was such a person, for whom 40 people could easily fill a sim with many waiting when his memorial service was held recently.

Edited by Prokofy Neva
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  • 3 weeks later...

My SL partner died in real life in 2015. When I found out he had lung cancer, I made it a point to call him on the phone and talk with him and his daughter almost every day. When he finally died, I was so  heartbroken, that I stayed away for five years. Now that I have finally returned, I have met up with his friends.

I also met some woman who claims to have been his partner, but she doesn't know basic facts about him, and she didn't know about me, and all of our friends from back then had never heard of her. But she has told everyone that she is his "official" widow. At first I was angry, but then I told myself that this is Second Life, my friend is deceased, and this woman is living her own delusion. So I let her have her fun.

It really is devastating when you realize that your SL friend had become  your real beloved friend, and you have lost him.

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On 3/23/2021 at 9:44 AM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

A long time ago in another game I knew of a girl who said she had cancer and somehow got people to send her money. This was before paypal and venmo and all the cash apps so I think they actually sent her money in the mail.  She then had someone come online and tell everyone she died.  She then created a new persona and tried to get back with the group but she was soon caught.  Turns out she didn't have cancer and she was very much alive.  Interestingly enough people forgave her and let her back in the group.

Maybe she wasn't lying. One time I died of cancer.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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