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Why are we hiding behind our AVATARS? I have revealed myself and this is why...


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16 minutes ago, SophieJeanneLaDouce said:
23 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

My main point in bringing it up was to point out that there really is no difference between his language and the English language in this regard -- I didn't want to leave him with an incorrect perception of the English language. 

 

This is how you, personally read it. Many other native speakers read it otherwise.

I'll just say English can be tricky and leave interpreting what is "correct" or "incorrect" to those with strong opinions.

I think an interesting question is more "why do some people choose one meaning over the other"?  For example, why were you offended (taking it personally) with his opening paragraph while I did not feel offended?

Perhaps I wasn't offended because I've actually known a lot of people who do hide in SL, and although I wondered if he was believing more people hide than actually do, and so projecting a bit, I never thought he would not consider or be open to the fact that other people are different than he is.

*Perhaps you only read this one thread...perhaps only the first post (as you seemed not to see his 2nd post where he clarified by saying he didn't mean EVERYone), whereas I have read more of his words from a couple of threads, and he just doesn't seem like an imposing person. And so, that is another reason why I didn't think he was ruling out all other perspectives with his OP.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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So you revealed yourself to your community.  Who cares?  And what business is it of yours why people decide to keep RL separate?  I am not surprised by this display of self-congratulation, after all i

One thing I love about second life is the idea that you can do whatever you want, be whatever you want and the only limit to that is whether you or someone else can make it. One thing that drives

When I want reality. I generally log out.

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9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I already like your cat.

A friend's daughter sometimes calls me Pocahontas, after the Disney version who often had her animal companion on her head.

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15 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

A friend's daughter sometimes calls me Pocahontas, after the Disney version who often had her animal companion on her head.

I'm pretty sure that, were we to ask your cat, it would explain to us (with a sort of world-weary patience) that it, in fact, has a human who insists upon lying beneath it.

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I don't hide who I am. In fact I am very much a open book regarding stuff. It has gotten me in trouble though, such as getting ""DOXXED"" from my own public information(I'm just like "good job you posted stuff people already know"). I have had to remove some information temporarily due to harassment though.

One of the reasons why I am so open about my personal life is because I myself have had to fight my way through many things, and I hope that my experiences can help others who are going through something, if not something similar, to what I may have gone through.

I also feel it puts a bit more of "hey there is actually someone behind these pixels pls be nice" when people can see a face and name. But for others this can be off-putting, as now they know I am not actually a hyena.

However, why someone would not want to make themselves known(or "hide" as you put it) is very understandable. I've talked with many resident in SL over the years and have came across these reasons:

  • Second Life serves as a place to escape real life.
  • They use second life to experience a childhood they couldn't and attaching themselves to the avatar would take away from that.
  • They fear that they would endanger themselves.
  • They are concerned about their career.
  • They are concerned about their family.
  • They are having an online affair.
  • They are actually underaged. (This is rare, don't bully/discriminate those who don't want to reveal their identity over this rare case)

There are plenty of other reasons as well, but those are the one off the top of my head. Why someone may not want to is their right, and they may not want to reveal why.

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5 hours ago, Chaser Zaks said:

Second Life serves as a place to escape real life.

I just wanted to mention that those of us who don't "hide" (and likely don't reveal much in the way of personal information, if any at all) also use SL as an escape from real life. We adapt to our environments; the environments don't adapt to us. At the end of the day we are still who we were before we logged in.

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Looking at what happens on the greater innernet (stalking, trolling, swatting), I don't see it as hiding in SL by not broadcasting who you are and where you can be run to ground, I just see it as basic common-sense to have an identity-firewall.

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5 hours ago, Chaser Zaks said:

One of the reasons why I am so open about my personal life is because I myself have had to fight my way through many things, and I hope that my experiences can help others who are going through something, if not something similar, to what I may have gone through.

I think that's an admirable goal -- helping others like yourself who are not neurotypical. And it's brave of you to be so open about it, because as you know, people will call you names and try to take advantage of you, or troll you (as we all witnessed with the griefer who was doxxing you on the forum repeatedly).

I see you demonstrating perfectly how people can heal or affirm themselves via uncovering their hidden parts and 'coming out'...whether they reveal themselves only to you or decide to come out publicly. In either case, it's a step moving away from the shame foisted on you by a society that often does not understand those who are different from the norm.
And to be clear, I'm not saying anyone should do this, with this condition or any other, or that it's not okay to hide any facet of ones life one chooses to keep private -- I'm only pointing out the potential of SL and how some take advantage of this opportunity in order to change or be more 'who they are'.

Of course I'm speaking to those who experience SL more as an immersionist (they are not strictly roleplaying or treating SL as only a game).

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I designed a couple of sims for those experiencing DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder), and led a support group at one of these as well. It amazed me how some experiencing this condition would become aware of formerly unknown parts of themselves via their SL experiences where these parts were free to come out and 'be'.

Integration requires visibility, whether in RL or SL, and so SL functioned as a source of integration for them that transferred to RL -- integration of those lost parts that became hidden in themselves due to experiencing such trauma in their past.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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That's an admirable intention. A long time ago now there was a Schizophrenia Safe House somewhere in Caledon, it's long gone now, but my alt used wander in and out of there. I wish I knew what he's getting up to these days but he's gone off on his own and never talks to me anymore.

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I know a guy who was hiding away his talents as a musician. He began cautiously giving concerts in SL, received much affirmation and praise, and with his newfound confidence was able to take it to RL where he ended up performing all over the world.

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Anyway, I'm interested in the people who hid and eventually used SL to become more than they were (or those who read this thread and become aware they might be hiding something).

Of course, those who are hiding unfortunately might not know it -- as it's primarily an unconscious process and hidden in order to feel safe.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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On 2/26/2021 at 9:59 PM, Wili Clip said:

So what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar?

 I'm just here to make-believe I have fabulous hair and an awesome wardrobe. 

glad you had your own epiphany tho. 👍

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On 2/26/2021 at 8:59 AM, Wili Clip said:

what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar

My husband has told me that no matter how many times I try to hit my pc tower, I’m not Miss Frizzle and I can’t dive into my screen. 

so it’s the lack of ability to pop on in for me, I suppose. Also, it much cheaper to buy a pair of breasts in SL in the case I don’t like the originals. 

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On 2/26/2021 at 7:59 AM, Wili Clip said:

 

What are we afraid of? What will other people think about us? Are we afraid others will notice our flaws? That other people will laugh at and make fun out of us? That we are not good enough and we have to hide?
Everyone has flaws and those who criticize and laugh at other people usually have the biggest ones. I have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Why create an image of perfection and then be anxious or depressed because there are such discrepancies between imaginary and reality?

About 11 days ago I decided to reveal myself to my SL gamers community and it has been cathartic for me.

I now use voice in Second Life whenever possible and I've been practicing getting out of my comfort zone about that and I wish more people would do the same. Your brain will reward you with release of dopamine every time you make a personal breakthrough.

Why are we hiding behind our avatars? Are we creating another personality? Are we afraid of ourselves?
(I do maybe understand in the case of women as they could become a target of harassment and stalkers - that is viable concern)

I think that Second Life should be an extension of real life and not a replacement. I believe that it can even be psychologically harmful if someone lives their life through Second Life. My friend in SL is a psychologist and she did research on that topic that confirms it.

My RL body is my avatar and avatar in Second Life is just an extension that lets me do, experience and achieve more things than I could in RL without using virtual world tech.

So what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar?

 

Those of us who’ve been in SL a while will recall the tag line; “Your World, Your Imagination”.

Is sounds like you’re advocating to remove some of that “imagination”.

For many like myself, SL is a place where our physical disabilities don’t matter as much. I can not just speak and move normally; I can FLY and TELEPORT. Best of all, by hiding behind my avatar I can be mistaken for “normal” and spared the pity of well-meaning people.

There are bunches of social networks for people who want to use them as dating services or business networks, so why make sl “just one more of those” by handcuffing the users to Real Lives that might not be all that much fun?

Generally, people don’t think of Sl as a haven for the disabled.

We like it that way. That means we’re “just like everybody else” with the same opportunities.

But...”your world: your imagination”. Live YOUR Sl as you see fit, and so will we 🙂

Peace!

image.gif

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49 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

For many like myself, SL is a place where our physical disabilities don’t matter as much. I can not just speak and move normally; I can FLY and TELEPORT. Best of all, by hiding behind my avatar I can be mistaken for “normal” and spared the pity of well-meaning people.

Oh my gosh so much this.

I also find it amusing the creator of this thread also outlined their own experience with doxxing and attacks which highlights another extremely important reason people may wish to remain fairly anonymous or 'hide behind their avatars'. It sucks to have your privacy invaded. It sucks even more when threats are involved. I think a lot of people are careful about what they share, and with who, because of this. 

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On 2/26/2021 at 2:59 PM, Wili Clip said:

 

So what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar?

 

 

cos you d o  n o t  n e e d to know simple as that!! and hiding? no im not hiding, this is second life we have an avatar name not your real life name... close friends know me... the rest of you do not need to know

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On 2/26/2021 at 2:59 PM, Wili Clip said:

Why are we hiding behind our avatars?

I don't hide anything. I'm using an avatar because Linden Lab requires it in order to take part on Second Life.

Why I don't reveal rl life details? Funny question. For good reasons none of us reveails personal details to strangers in real life (normally, except facebook users lol). Why would we have an obligation to justify the same behaviour in Second Life?

Edited by Doc Carling
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9 hours ago, norajulian said:

My husband has told me that no matter how many times I try to hit my pc tower, I’m not Miss Frizzle and I can’t dive into my screen. 

so it’s the lack of ability to pop on in for me, I suppose. Also, it much cheaper to buy a pair of breasts in SL in the case I don’t like the originals. 

 

It truly is so much easier to gain or lose weight as needed for all those taxing roles we "actors" play. 🤭

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5 hours ago, Doc Carling said:
On 2/26/2021 at 7:59 AM, Wili Clip said:

Why are we hiding behind our avatars?

I don't hide anything. I'm using an avatar because Linden Lab requires it in order to take part on Second Life.

Why I don't reveal rl life details? Funny question. For good reasons none of us reveails personal details to strangers in real life (normally, except facebook users lol). Why would we have an obligation to justify the same behaviour in Second Life?

You said "none of us reveals personal details to strangers in real life".  We do reveal our face and our voice when we interact with others in RL though, which are the only details I see the OP stating he's revealing to people in his opening paragraph.

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8 hours ago, Amanda Crisp said:

For many like myself, SL is a place where our physical disabilities don’t matter as much. I can not just speak and move normally; I can FLY and TELEPORT. Best of all, by hiding behind my avatar I can be mistaken for “normal” and spared the pity of well-meaning people.

That's great, and I've heard many such stories of people feeling free again, not limited by RL disabilities.

This reminds me of a woman I encountered some years ago who was always in a wheelchair in SL. Someone else said this woman was also in a wheelchair in RL. At the time I wondered why she chose to embody her RL disability in SL when she could be free of it here.  I can only imagine it was some way for her to come to terms with her disability or develop new awareness perhaps, viewing the situation from more of a distance as we do so easily when viewing our avatars from a distance, spatially and cognitively.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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Or maybe she just wanted people to know and like her for who she was, mobility device and all. 

I wonder if she ever knew she wasn't the only one? I wish I could think of his name but it's been since sculpty days since I've seen him. And then there are those like our very own Mattie Maitimo. They own it and are all the more beautiful for it.

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A strange way of posing the question in this topic ... there are many games on the Internet where you need to create an avatar and give it a name to your liking .. Our beloved SL is no exception, this is either a game, or an incognito life, or a fantasy, or intrigue, but in any case, SL provides for the confidentiality of your data. we choose our role in which we want to play, and we are here the way who likes, but mostly confidential for other inhabitants of this world. Smart people will not post their data on a public post either in real life or on the Internet or in the game environment. In my opinion, those who wish to * show themselves with reality * are at great risk. Or are you eager to show your super & alpha ego? look what I am .. do as I do, why are you hiding ... or are you too curious and want to provoke everyone to open their faces and their data?)) will not work

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I haven't read all 8 pages of posts... anyway, I have revealed the real me a long time ago. BIG mistake. That 'great revelatiion' opened the door to a couple of stalkers. One stalked my in my rl. That was a very scary time. SL is like RL.. nice people but lots of crazies and stalkers too. I prefer to keep my rl unclutered and safe. I will voice with only people I have known for yrs.. same with exchanging pictures (faces only). If someone sends me an unsolicited  d*ck pic, they are immediately muted. Better safe than sorry. I go to sl to play, create and relax.. not to drag my sometimes complicated rl with me.

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