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Why are we hiding behind our AVATARS? I have revealed myself and this is why...


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2 hours ago, Nova Convair said:

There are some poor people that can't have a 2nd life. The only thing they can think of is RL -

You know, when I was a little kid, there was another kid my age who lived on my street, we were about 7 years old at the time.  And this other kid, she was incapable of imaginitive play. She just could not grasp the concept of "make-believe" or "fiction" or "imagination".  Similar to aphantasia I guess, but maybe broader in scope.

I wonder if some people in SL are like that. They can't separate SL from RL because they can't comprehend a concept that is "not RL".

I can't compehend what it must be like to lack that capability.

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So you revealed yourself to your community.  Who cares?  And what business is it of yours why people decide to keep RL separate?  I am not surprised by this display of self-congratulation, after all i

One thing I love about second life is the idea that you can do whatever you want, be whatever you want and the only limit to that is whether you or someone else can make it. One thing that drives

When I want reality. I generally log out.

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1 hour ago, Janet Voxel said:

@Wili Clip I will say one thing. You really united the board, we were at each other's throats a couple of months ago. 

I think we can heal now, moving forward.

Thank you.

115 Powerful Healing Quotes to Help You Recover | Planet of Success

 

Quote
But if in your fear you would seek only
love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
     Then it is better for you that you cover
your nakedness and pass out of love’s
threshing-floor,
     Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

 

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/148579/on-love

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3 hours ago, Lewis Luminos said:

I don't hide (much of) my RL from others in SL. I won't give out enough information that my identity could be stolen, I don't usually give my location any more accurately than the nearest city, and I don't give any information about my RL partner or other family members or anyone else in my life because their info is not mine to share. I don't use voice because  unpleasant for me. If I was obliged to communicate in voice, I would just uninstall SL and never log in again.

 

And you have absolutely no right to assume that anyone else wants to play SL the same way that you do, and absolutely no right to assume that anyone who doesn't is "hiding something". And even if they are hiding something, its none of your business.

This !

Voice ruins the immersion for me and tidbits of RL offered stays with me . I don't talk out of class.I have used voice with one person in SL. I don't trust that others will do the same as me. I treat all with respect but I don't offer and I don't ask about RL. 

How you represent yourself in SL is how I will respond to you, I don't care about your RL. 

Sign Off Let Me Know GIF by megan motown

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42 minutes ago, Karly Kiyori said:

You know, when I was a little kid, there was another kid my age who lived on my street, we were about 7 years old at the time.  And this other kid, she was incapable of imaginitive play. She just could not grasp the concept of "make-believe" or "fiction" or "imagination".  Similar to aphantasia I guess, but maybe broader in scope.

I wonder if some people in SL are like that. They can't separate SL from RL because they can't comprehend a concept that is "not RL".

I can't compehend what it must be like to lack that capability.

I also couldn't understand what living with aphantasia is like with being unable to suspend disbelief when watching movies or create things from imagination.

It reminds me of a time when I met someone who thought everyone should have their avatars resemble their RL selves.  I dismissed them as a pedantic fool who was completely missing the point of SL.  Aphantasia may partially explain why they lost their sh*t when they saw me running around in an avatar like this:

2littleAliens_onboat.thumb.png.b625621dfc190562f3acfb1cc535ed3c.png

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19 minutes ago, Eddy Vortex said:

Aphantasia may partially explain why they lost their sh*t when they saw me running around in an avatar like this:

Also, many sim owners only want humans on their sim and I respect that.  But, it's also that we tinies break the immersion aspect of SL because there aren't talking animals in real life.   We tinies have a few sims of our own thankfully but it's not many, less than a handful while humans have most all of SL.  My first two times in SL I could not imagine ever being anything but human.  This third time I surprised myself and I've been all different kinds of avi's including human.  I think a lot of people have never even viewed the COMPLETE AVATAR section of Marketplace and seen the bazillion and one other avatars one can be besides a human, let alone know there are classes to make your own avatar, etc.  Most come on here, and think human only and that's all to them.  I was like that once a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  lol  Not anymore.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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Some of my SL friends go to considerable effort to make their SL as much like their RL as they can. Other friends want to be utterly opposite to their RL enviroment. Two sides of a coin and either choice is fine by me.

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20 minutes ago, Eddy Vortex said:

I also couldn't understand what living with aphantasia is like...

At one time, probably reading Bettleheim, I wondered what it would be like to raise children without "enchantment" -- with no fiction at all. No folk tales, no nursery rhymes, no make-believe, no religion, no fantasy, no art.

But metaphor is a kind of fiction; indeed all symbol systems represent reality with artifice, so language is a kind of fiction. As is algebra, conspicuously. And money.

The question was supposed to be whether a human mind, somehow uncontaminated by imagination, would nonetheless spontaneously imagine.

I've since concluded that reality is for people who can't handle their drugs SL.

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My trusted SL friends know my RL name, know where I live, have heard my RL voice through Skype, and know what I look like. Almost all of them are on my Facebook page. They see my house projects and remodeling. They saw the pics of my new puppy etc. Those particular SL residents earned that privilege. They in turn have shared with me, and I consider that an honor. As for the rest of SL, I do not feel I need or even should open my RL to them. My RL doesn't have an open door, and just like in RL, I don't leave my front door open so strangers can walk in.

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It's called having boundaries. I don't hide behind my avatar but as a woman in SL I quickly learned there are lots of predatory men who will try to push past those boundaries and into your real life where they do not belong if you let them. I have had bad experiences with women too. My close friends know lots about me but people need to earn my trust to get to know who I am. For me, SL is definitely an extension of RL, it is not just roleplaying, and I am not one of these "SL = SL" people but you need to be cautious, just as in any other online space. 

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1 hour ago, FairreLilette said:

  This third time I surprised myself and I've been all different kinds of avi's including human.  I think a lot of people have never even viewed the COMPLETE AVATAR section of Marketplace and seen the bazillion and one other avatars one can be besides a human, let alone know there are classes to make your own avatar, etc.  Most come on here, and think human only and that's all to them.  I was like that once a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  lol  Not anymore.  

I am rather attached to the appearance of my main avatar and I almost never change it (aside from turning into a ginger-coloured werewolf on certain full-moons). 

That's not to say that I don't ever feel like experimenting or switching things around once in a while - but when I do I find that I have to use an alt. I just can't bring myself to mess with my main account because I identify most strongly that it's me - my RL self (even though I'm not really ginger in RL). I don't know if you remember The Matrix (movie) when Morpheus talked about Residual Self-Image - that's what my avatar is to me. It's what I look like when I dream (even years before SL was invented). 

 So I do make different avatars, including non-human ones, but only on alts. They are a mix of roleplaying characters and figments of my imagination and voices that live in my head, all with a part of my own personality in them but not exclusively so. It's intriguing sometimes how different they are from one another, and yet still all similar to me.

 

51 minutes ago, rasterscan said:

Some of my SL friends go to considerable effort to make their SL as much like their RL as they can. 

I tried that once (on an alt). It was hideous. 😄

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7 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:
7 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

Do you think that voice would destroy that illusion?

For me, yes it would.  I tried voice back in my early SL days, and listening to others completely changed how I viewed some folks.  It ruined the illusion that I had created for myself of them.  Similar to how a movie can ruin the illusion that one creates of the characters in a book.

Yes, for me too, hearing someone's voice really changes your perception of them.

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36 minutes ago, Mercedes Avon said:

My trusted SL friends know my RL name, know where I live, have heard my RL voice through Skype, and know what I look like. Almost all of them are on my Facebook page. They see my house projects and remodeling. They saw the pics of my new puppy etc. Those particular SL residents earned that privilege. They in turn have shared with me, and I consider that an honor. As for the rest of SL, I do not feel I need or even should open my RL to them. My RL doesn't have an open door, and just like in RL, I don't leave my front door open so strangers can walk in.

ditto

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3 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

we tinies break the immersion aspect of SL because there aren't talking animals in real life.

Wait? your not? That would explain why i never met one in RL.

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Who I am in RL is nobody's business but my own. I tell people what I want them to know about me and little else. I treat RL the same way. I don't tell businesses any more than they need to know for selling me things. I don't tell telemarketers anything.  I don't care to have a facebook or Twitter account to tell the world what I ate for breakfast or what movies I enjoy.  It's not a matter of hiding or even something as mighty as a defense of privacy (although I am not a crowd person, and would prefer to wander through life on my own).  It's basically that I see no really good reason to be an open book. If I can get along in SL without needing to share much about my RL life, why should I do it?

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6 hours ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

I quickly learned there are lots of predatory men who will try to push past those boundaries and into your real life where they do not belong if you let them. I have had bad experiences with women too.

I learned this the hard way. This is why I have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and the only thing that I divulge, and is consistent between both lives, is my timezone. It is the only thing outside SL that I believe affects my experiences in-world. Nobody has the right to know anything else. I am who I present to be, and you ARE who you present to be: representatives of characters whose life stories are authentic and legitimate in SecondLife but never in Real Life, if that makes sense. So keep it that way, please. If someone hounds me with questions about the person behind my avi, I reserve the right to lie. Not really sure what kind of trophy or validation the OP was seeking here.

6 hours ago, kali Wylder said:

Yes, for me too, hearing someone's voice really changes your perception of them.

Same with RL pics. Do you know how vile and disturbing it is while in the throes of kinky unrestrained passion with an avatar who looks like Keanu Reeves, then its puppeteer goes on voice and shares a picture of themselves to reveal that they are not Keanu Reeves but Ralph Fiennes... as Voldemort! And their moaning sounds like someone hit Mickey Mouse in the balls! Que horror! Now don’t ask me for mine, I can’t bear being discovered and unpartnered with just because I am an overweight middle-aged truck driver from Placer County. C’mon, it was our avatars who were inseparable and madly in love! I can’t raise this Zooby alone!!!

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23 hours ago, Wili Clip said:

 

What are we afraid of? What will other people think about us? Are we afraid others will notice our flaws? That other people will laugh at and make fun out of us? That we are not good enough and we have to hide?
Everyone has flaws and those who criticize and laugh at other people usually have the biggest ones. I have flaws. Nobody is perfect. Why create an image of perfection and then be anxious or depressed because there are such discrepancies between imaginary and reality?

About 11 days ago I decided to reveal myself to my SL gamers community and it has been cathartic for me.

I now use voice in Second Life whenever possible and I've been practicing getting out of my comfort zone about that and I wish more people would do the same. Your brain will reward you with release of dopamine every time you make a personal breakthrough.

Why are we hiding behind our avatars? Are we creating another personality? Are we afraid of ourselves?
(I do maybe understand in the case of women as they could become a target of harassment and stalkers - that is viable concern)

I think that Second Life should be an extension of real life and not a replacement. I believe that it can even be psychologically harmful if someone lives their life through Second Life. My friend in SL is a psychologist and she did research on that topic that confirms it.

My RL body is my avatar and avatar in Second Life is just an extension that lets me do, experience and achieve more things than I could in RL without using virtual world tech.

So what is your main reason for hiding behind your avatar?

 

I don't hide behind my avatar. My SL identity and my RL identity have been linked for at least 15 years. But I've been in the Sims and the SL communities for some 20 years. So why is it that I waited years to "reveal" my identity?

Because it wasn't my choice. It was revealed by the SL Herald hacks with the help of Lindens and their friends, who didn't like my criticism of their bad behaviour on the forums. I decided when faced with that kind of outrageous unethical behaviour to make lemonade out of lemons. I wasn't going to give up my personal virtual life and communities and little businesses and projects because some overgrown child without a father living in his mom's basement had to harass me to feel good.

Because I don't like getting harassed in RL. I don't like idiots from the SL forums coming to my RL work sites and posting malicious and untrue comments. I have RL editors scratching their heads about claims that I have chicken farms where I fear my chickens are dying or asking me if my father was a chicken farmer whose chickens all died, or if I adopted my children only to fatten them up and eat them -- features of my Wikipedia entry which was created not by people in my field but by griefers hoping to harass me because I filed ARs on their bad activities and criticized the open source movement which has been a haver for griefers and hackers, hello.

Because I don't like being woken up in the middle of the night with the Soviet anthem playing on my phone or somebody barking into the phone with chicken caws scaring my little kids, although they thought it was fun when they got 10 pizzas delivered to the door. I especially didn't like paying for those pizzas out of the scarce funds of a single parent because I didn't want to stiff the pizza guy who goes to my church. And so on and so on. If linking your identities didn't cause the most ferocious, the most evil, the most persistent harassment in RL, more people would do it. I happen to already be used to being harassed by states and security agencies for years, by contrast with whom, the juveniles of SL are only trainees. But not everybody is. Nor should ordinary people living their lives be opened up to hell because they made some bad dating choices in a virtual world, or because they criticized some idiot on the forums.

Edited by Prokofy Neva
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15 hours ago, kali Wylder said:

Yes, for me too, hearing someone's voice really changes your perception of them.

I mentioned that it didn't for me because I think the conception or misconception is it would be 100% across the board that some "change" would occur.  I interact with DJ's I hear speak just the same as I did before I heard them speak and had no change hearing them speaking while DJ'ing either.  

 

15 hours ago, Lewis Luminos said:

That's not to say that I don't ever feel like experimenting or switching things around once in a while - but when I do I find that I have to use an alt.

I was like that when I first came to SL years ago.  When I first came to SL some 15 years ago or so, I thought we were supposed to have only one look such as one skin and one hair and always be that.  It's weird how we come with some misconceptions of what we are supposed to do or be on SL.  But, when I first came, I really thought I am supposed to make just one me and not change.  I'm glad to have broken free of that as I have a lot more fun.  But, for me, an avatar really needs to come with fashion choices like the Dinkies do and of course humans.  I am partly here for fashion also.  Dinkies could use more creators for fashion if anyone is interested.  I know it's a rough economy right now though.  So, just putting it out there just in case someone might like to make stuffs.  Dinkie's do love fashion.  An avatar I'd also love is a human doll with clothing options.  The CoCo dolls are adorable but not much fashion.

Edited by FairreLilette
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4 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

Because it wasn't my choice. It was revealed by the SL Herald hacks with the help of Lindens and their friends, who didn't like my criticism of their bad behaviour on the forums. I decided when faced with that kind of outrageous unethical behaviour to make lemonade out of lemons. I wasn't going to give up my personal virtual life and communities and little businesses and projects because some overgrown child without a father living in his mom's basement had to harass me to feel good.

Because I don't like getting harassed in RL.

I had similar thing happened to me when the last stock exchange game in SL went down due to its owner going to jail and there were 2 or 3 individuals who tried to extort me for money they sent me email that if I don't pay them off they will spread lies about me and destroy my reputation. So they started posting on online forums that had high google search ranks making claims that I stole a lot of money from a lot of people and that I am a scammer. It was up there google indexed for years and I am not sure if it still isn't.

Those blackmailers even contacted police in my country. I went to police station to explain about it. Such an activity is a cyber crime I just didn't decide to press charges at that time because I prefer to spend my energy more productively and the main perpetrator was from Australia it would be a long process. But I will definitely do it in the future if ever anyone does something like that to me. Will prosecute them to full extent.

Yes that is a very valid reason why someone would want to keep their online identity anonymous.

Edited by Wili Clip
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Just now, Lindal Kidd said:

...peeps out of her Grid Crash Protection Box.

...Slams the lid down in horror.

This box is proving very useful as a Troll Post Protection Box too!

...pats inside of Box fondly.

/me grabs her trusty laser cutter and crowbar, and heads purposefully over to Lindal's Protection Box.

NO ONE IS EXEMPT, Lindal. Even you must suffer.

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