Why are we hiding behind our AVATARS? I have revealed myself and this is why...

[Luna Bliss]

36 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

What were you hiding though?  Was it your gender that voice revealed?  Many say voices are morphed, and the group I hang around mostly makes morphs so some of our gestures sound like the famous Chipmunks and one of my favorite live singers in SL uses morphs in her songs that also sound like the Chipmunks because we are tinies.   I don't believe tinies are hiding anything.  We get together and have fun, plus it's a way for married people to be together in SL and not be hit on.   There are many reasons to be a tiny, I cannot speak for all of them.  I think they are the most adorkable thing in the entire world but it doesn't make me feel I am hiding or that I  need to go on voice.   I went on voice once, I found it a hassle and the person had such a heavy accent that I kept saying "what?" because I could not understand him.  I am busy building over 90% of my time in SL.  I don't have time for voice.   Pic included so others can know what a tiny is as we are NOT human child avatars. 

How cute!  I mean that is just cuteness overload...lol.

[Luna Bliss]

10 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

Why do you assume people are hiding something?

Well, it has been discovered through Psychology that most people feel if others knew their real self, at the deepest core, they would not be loved. That's really sad when you think of it.

And so people hide, in one way or another. Life really is, on one level, about learning to be who you are and accepting that.

[FairreLilette]

10 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

How cute!  I mean that is just cuteness overload...lol.

Thanks!  I always feel a bit awkward talking about the tinies because I assume many think "tiny" means child human avatar which it does not.  Tinies are small humanimals in SL and unlike furries are not human-sized either but rather are "tiny" (small).  

People are multi-faceted like a jewel, SL allows us to experience the many different facets of ourselves.  

I don't feel I am revealing myself through my tiny, I'm just being creative.  But, with other avatars, I do feel I have revealed bits of myself or gotten in touch with parts of my self I never did before.  

Edited February 26, 2021 by FairreLilette

[Alazarin Mondrian]

Why, yes. I totally agree that our SL avatars should be a wholly authentic representation of our RL selves. As you know, I am a transgenderfluid draconic from the star system you know as Eta Carinae and have been resident on your planet doing field research for the past two centuries. :D

[Talligurl]

In the Wizard of Oz, the wizard turns out to be an ordinary man behind a curtain. Once that fact is known, the illusion he had created fell apart.  To me SL is a place I come to be creative, and part of that is my avatar, and her personality. My intention is in no way nefarious,  I am just creating a character in a grand play. To pull back the curtain however and reveal all the ways that I am not the same as her, would destroy the illusion. 

[LittleMe Jewell]

You make many assumptions

[Cinos Field]

My avatar is already me. You know, like an avatar. It doesn't necessarily look the same, but it's the same person that I am otherwise.

If you'd like to get philosophical, think about reaching into a pool of water, for example, to interact with something on the bottom. Are you hiding the rest of your body? Is the hand reaching into the pool not as much you as the rest, even if it's the only part of you that a fish would ever see?

 

[Ceka Cianci]

27 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well, it has been discovered through Psychology that most people feel if others knew their real self, at the deepest core, they would not be loved. That's really sad when you think of it.

And so people hide, in one way or another. Life really is, on one level, about learning to be who you are and accepting that.

It's also been discovered that some people just don't want to have to sick their pack of big ole killer dogs on some stranger that shows up standing in their yard staring, that happens to be from the intranets..

hehehe

 

 

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Ceka Cianci said:

30 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well, it has been discovered through Psychology that most people feel if others knew their real self, at the deepest core, they would not be loved. That's really sad when you think of it.

And so people hide, in one way or another. Life really is, on one level, about learning to be who you are and accepting that.

It's also been discovered that some people just don't want to have to sick their pack of big ole killer dogs on some stranger that shows up standing in their yard staring, that happens to be from the intranets..

hehehe

lol...I hear you there. I've had a stalker.

But I'm really talking about real life here, and on a psychological level, although of course this often does extend to SL.

[Rowan Amore]

Most people reveal more about themselves through their words and action than by posting their RL face.

Another thread in the general forums illustrates this point pretty well IMHO.

[Janet Voxel]

44 minutes ago, Wili Clip said:

Isn't this the same reason why we love real life? 

Yes. But the thing is, this isn't real life, it's second life and they aren't necessarily the same.

44 minutes ago, Wili Clip said:

The only difference is that we as we get older learned to limit ourselves because we molded ourselves in fixed roles. We adopted certain belief system of what we are capable of or not capable of and what our limits are. The worst thing is when you let yourself get trapped in belief system of others or let yourself be influenced by others and especially if those people are negative or have negative view of the world.

You're kiiiiind of making my point for me. What you're doing in imposing your own belief system on other people. So, because you found some kind of cathartic awakening, everybody else should do what you're doing because....what? Help me out here. Remember, you're talking about a virtual environment where none of that is supposed to apply no real belief systems, very few rules. An environment where you always have the option to mute, tp away, ban when someone is being negative in any way.

44 minutes ago, Wili Clip said:

What I am learning from my little 5 years son is that if I want to progress in life I need to learn to unlearn things about myself. For that I always try to find ways to push myself out of comfort zone. Its easier for little kids to do that through playing because the neuroplasticity of their brain is higher. But I am learning from neuroscience that as we get older we can still change, we just need to deliberately focus on things that we want to change about ourselves and create new behavior patterns.

 

That's great! Kids are amazing and they really do make us think about ourselves in a different way. That's something we all should do on a daily basis, but sadly most people don't. Like Robert Plant said "There's still time to change the road your on." its a great lyric from Stairway to Heaven. I....just don't know what this has to do with what I said though.

44 minutes ago, Wili Clip said:

Therefore I'd like as many people as possible to know that if they are currently in a bad situation that they can start making steps to start again progressing in their life and take up on challenges.
 

Oh, I get it. So by challenging yourself to show your face, you're literally unburdening yourself of the belief systems society has imposed upon you. Therefore, freeing yourself to unlock the full potential of yourself, which would ultimately make you a better person because you've now taken yourself out of your comfort zone by engaging in a challenge issued by a stranger on the internet. Gotcha. 

See the thing about challenges are they're kind of odd and childish and don't really prove anything. There's the Tide pod challenge, the cinnamon challenge....I can keep going. How about you just make the choice to do better and be better, like you can do every morning when you wake up?

Or....how about you let people do what they do on Second life, as was intended and not try to impose your beliefs on other people?

 

 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Janet Voxel
words

[Luna Bliss]

9 minutes ago, Janet Voxel said:

Oh, I get it. So by challenging yourself to show your face, you're literally unburdening yourself of the belief systems society has imposed upon you. Therefore, freeing yourself to unlock the full potential of yourself, which would ultimately make you a better person because you've now taken yourself out of your comfort zone but engaging in a challenge issued by a stranger on the internet. Gotcha. 

See the thing about challenges are they're kind of odd and don't really prove anything. There's the Tide pod challenge, the cinnamon challenge....I can keep going. How about you just make the choice to do better and be better, like you can do every morning when you wake up?

Or....how about you let people do what they do on Second life, as was intended and not try to impose your beliefs on other people?

I don't think you should discount that this meant something to him -- it's kind of cruel the way you're attempting to invalidate his experience.

Now insofar as he is imagining others are 'hiding' in the same way he has been hiding -- he's projecting, and yeah that's something we could confront him about, and many are doing so by describing just how they experience this whole thing.

But no...please stop dissing him for his own experience and how he's happy about the change, as it is valid to him. 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Luna Bliss

[Janet Voxel]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

I don't think you should discount that this meant something to him -- it's kind of cruel by attempting to invalidate his experience.

I didn't at all. I'm saying exactly what I said: Because he experienced something that had meaning to him doesn't mean we should all follow his lead. Because ultimately.....we aren't here for the same reasons.

[Ceka Cianci]

6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

lol...I hear you there. I've had a stalker.

But I'm really talking about real life here, and on a psychological level, although of course this often does extend to SL.

I seen more of that when I was younger and in school.. Also when I was dating or in that kind of atmosphere..

But honestly, and I don't know if this is everywhere  or not.. But for the most part, a lot of people, like especially at work, Give way too much information.. Especially guys.. hehehe

I don't know, maybe it's me and they feel like, Hey i can tell her anything, heck lets tell her everything.. hehehehe

All I know is , more than I have wanted to , I've had to tell people, That was way too much information!! \o/

 

[FairreLilette]

23 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

In the Wizard of Oz, the wizard turns out to be an ordinary man behind a curtain. Once that fact is known, the illusion he had created fell apart.  To me SL is a place I come to be creative, and part of that is my avatar, and her personality. My intention is in no way nefarious,  I am just creating a character in a grand play. To pull back the curtain however and reveal all the ways that I am not the same as her, would destroy the illusion. 

Do you think that voice would destroy that illusion?  I think there are people on voice where it doesn't destroy the illusion of their avatar.  In RL, we have illusions too, even on voice we are trying to put our best foot forward all the time.

Yesterday, I was crabby and cranky in a thread and shouldn't have been.  Truth is, I was crabby and cranky in real life, and it was because I had just received the COVID vaccine.  The COVID vaccine made me tired, cranky and crabby.  I decided best to try to do something else until I feel better.  But, I think while voice can reveal some things, it cannot reveal all anyways.  

 

[Rowan Amore]

3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

I seen more of that when I was younger and in school.. Also when I was dating or in that kind of atmosphere..

But honestly, and I don't know if this is everywhere  or not.. But for the most part, a lot of people, like especially at work, Give way too much information.. Especially guys.. hehehe

I don't know, maybe it's me and they feel like, Hey i can tell her anything, heck lets tell her everything.. hehehehe

All I know is , more than I have wanted to , I've had to tell people, That was way too much information!! \o/

 

I, personally, find it a tad creepy when people have too much RL info available for all to see.  In this day and age, it's unwise in my opinion.  

I've heard there are a lot of weirdos on the internet.  Surprising!  I know!

[LittleMe Jewell]

2 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Do you think that voice would destroy that illusion?

For me, yes it would.  I tried voice back in my early SL days, and listening to others completely changed how I viewed some folks.  It ruined the illusion that I had created for myself of them.  Similar to how a movie can ruin the illusion that one creates of the characters in a book.

SL is an escape for me and I prefer to keep it that way, with as little of RL as possible in it.

[Luna Bliss]

12 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

23 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

lol...I hear you there. I've had a stalker.

But I'm really talking about real life here, and on a psychological level, although of course this often does extend to SL.

I seen more of that when I was younger and in school.. Also when I was dating or in that kind of atmosphere..

But honestly, and I don't know if this is everywhere  or not.. But for the most part, a lot of people, like especially at work, Give way too much information.. Especially guys.. hehehe

I don't know, maybe it's me and they feel like, Hey i can tell her anything, heck lets tell her everything.. hehehehe

All I know is , more than I have wanted to , I've had to tell people, That was way too much information!! \o/

Yes, people certainly do have differing needs for privacy, and often they don't jibe.

What I see as a primary problem though, and one the OP is addressing, occurs if one feels like they can't be themselves because they think nobody would like them. If you do experience yourself in this way then a kind of 'coming out' is often necessary where you take back your power -- learn to be yourself no matter what other people think.

Of course if people are playing SL on more of a fantasy level this might not apply, but the OP is not relating to SL in this way -- he is relating to SL in more of a 'real' way.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Luna Bliss

[Luna Bliss]

10 minutes ago, Janet Voxel said:

13 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I don't think you should discount that this meant something to him -- it's kind of cruel by attempting to invalidate his experience.

I didn't at all. I'm saying exactly what I said: Because he experienced something that had meaning to him doesn't mean we should all follow his lead. Because ultimately.....we aren't here for the same reasons.

Really, Janet...you don't think your following paragraph is dissing him at all?   Give me a break.

"Oh, I get it. So by challenging yourself to show your face, you're literally unburdening yourself of the belief systems society has imposed upon you. Therefore, freeing yourself to unlock the full potential of yourself, which would ultimately make you a better person because you've now taken yourself out of your comfort zone by engaging in a challenge issued by a stranger on the internet. Gotcha. 

See the thing about challenges are they're kind of odd and childish and don't really prove anything. There's the Tide pod challenge, the cinnamon challenge....I can keep going. How about you just make the choice to do better and be better, like you can do every morning when you wake up?"

[Bree Giffen]

I find it satisfying to occupy a virtual persona. I liken it to the way a rapper takes on a rap identity or an actor plays someone else even while doing interviews on television. It’s a separation of public and private that allows one to stay grounded. I don’t like reality tv stars or you tubers who put themselves on display. They seem to be the worst and vacuous of all people. I don’t like Facebook either with it’s pageantry of the mundane. What you said about women online is also true. That’s half the population right there. You might as well just ask only guys to show their real pics. 

[Ceka Cianci]

1 minute ago, Rowan Amore said:

I, personally, find it a tad creepy when people have too much RL info available for all to see.  In this day and age, it's unwise in my opinion.  

I've heard there are a lot of weirdos on the internet.  Surprising!  I know!

I hate seeing especially younger people doing that.. I don't even let my boys on the internet unless one of us is around..

If phones were just phones, we may have let them have one, but not how phones are now..

[Luna Bliss]

32 minutes ago, Cinos Field said:

My avatar is already me. You know, like an avatar. It doesn't necessarily look the same, but it's the same person that I am otherwise.

If you'd like to get philosophical, think about reaching into a pool of water, for example, to interact with something on the bottom. Are you hiding the rest of your body? Is the hand reaching into the pool not as much you as the rest, even if it's the only part of you that a fish would ever see?

Yes, that's how I experience SL too.

I think the difference, and especially meaningful and worthy of examination for those who 'hide', is the meaning they are assigning to the physical aspects of any world. For many, the physical aspects of reality are paramount, while for others the emotional aspects are.

[Janet Voxel]

1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Really, Janet...you don't think your following paragraph is dissing him at all?   Give me a break.

"Oh, I get it. So by challenging yourself to show your face, you're literally unburdening yourself of the belief systems society has imposed upon you. Therefore, freeing yourself to unlock the full potential of yourself, which would ultimately make you a better person because you've now taken yourself out of your comfort zone by engaging in a challenge issued by a stranger on the internet. Gotcha. 

See the thing about challenges are they're kind of odd and childish and don't really prove anything. There's the Tide pod challenge, the cinnamon challenge....I can keep going. How about you just make the choice to do better and be better, like you can do every morning when you wake up?"

I wasn't and I don't, no. You can take my word for it or not, that's up to you.

The thing is, if you go back and read his original post he uses a lot of loaded words and phrases that are pretty inciteful. Which is exactly why he got the general reaction he did. But that's not what I was doing at all. You seem to want to read that into what I said, which.....isn't really my problem either.

So, I'm just going to not respond to you anymore because it seems to me like you're trying to pick a fight. 'Kay?

[Luna Bliss]

2 hours ago, Janet Voxel said:

2 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

What a loaded question.

Also a thinly veiled advertisement.

Where's your proof...that he is advertising?  Just because he has a successful business so many in SL would aspire to?

[Ceka Cianci]

12 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

For me, yes it would.  I tried voice back in my early SL days, and listening to others completely changed how I viewed some folks.  It ruined the illusion that I had created for myself of them.  Similar to how a movie can ruin the illusion that one creates of the characters in a book.

SL is an escape for me and I prefer to keep it that way, with as little of RL as possible in it.

I remember that happening in SL also, Hearing someone for the first time and them sounding way different than I imagined.. It changed a lot of what my mind built up.

I get that way with a lot of entertainers also, but sometimes it doesn't end too well.. Soon as they start showing  another side away from the entertainment, it can really mess up a lot of shows and movies for me or songs and things like that..

When I was younger I used to think how awesome it must be to be famous.. Not anymore.. hehehe